Pictures with my verse of the year
Pictures
What I want to keep in mind for the weeks to come

Saturday, December 31, 2005 @ 10:55 pm


hey...jus maybe blog here for a while...the last entry of year 2005!! yeah! so...attended the thanksgiving service jus now. quite boring. got a time of sharing which is wad i lyk but i dun really lyk the message part. makes me feel rather tired. n sleepy. was wuite grumpy la. why muz preach? tml also got service leh...den got message again. sigh. boring. tat pastor preached keep repeating the same stuff n the same phrase. boring. sad. dunno if can call ken n chat wid him. so sad jonathan is not online. oh well. anyway, got wireless connection. happy. can use laptop while it's on my lap. haha. n watchin jackie chan show now. okay. nth much den. bye bye 2005! n welcome 2006!!! cheers! =)
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Friday, December 30, 2005 @ 6:02 pm


hey blog! I'm so excited! got so many things to tell ya! Ok. let me tell u abt today. today...this morning, met jonathan at the bus stop. my! he still looks the same but slightly more handsome. his specs made him look nicer. voice deepened i suppose. can't rmb cos i jus get used to the deep voices arnd me. wad else? oh yes! a science person, jus as i guess. one who loves chemistry! jus lyk me! but he's luckier. he gets to do experiments which i have no chance to do so. but it's nice hearing tales n stories from him. he's a nice pereson to tok to. i'm glad else it'll feel pretty awkward. So sat on 985. journey was relatively short. 20mins? arnd there. but it's weird. have to walk past the secondary sch to get to JC compound. he had to go to SAS to get sumthing (oh, btw, he studies in St Andrew Sec Sch), so I jus waited for him outside near the entrance. but it was pretty weird la. all boys sch. got a CCA activity goin on. jus occupied myself by looking at sum photos there.

walked a long way up to enter the JC compound. i expected sumthing more. sumthing nicer but it disappointed me. firstly, there ain't many paintings on the white walls. in fact, i think there was none! so it makes the whole area seems dull n white. walking arnd, we came across the hall n so i peered in. expected an air-conditioned one but hey! there wasn't any air-cons!! there are fans! n they look lyk the old ones in CTSS. hmph. i tot there'll be la. new sch building mah. jonathan told me they'll prob install it one yr later cos have to wait till warranty runs out, jus lyk the case in his sec sch =( Ok. so next, i expected the classrooms to be air-conditioned, jus lyk JJC, but look! there ain't air-cons in it!! fans, tables n chairs!! wah! i got a big shock la. hmph.

Walked arnd, looked at the auditorium rooms too. ain't suppose to go there but u noe me, being curious n all, jus peered in, one door after another. it ain't as big as i expected. not as big as SP. pretty small. n i wonder how cold the air-con would be. at least this time, i'm sure there is air-con! ha. ok. saw the kallang river tat is located adjacent to the sch building. walked arnd in the hot sun den i headed off to atke 142 to Potong Pasir station while he head off to his fren's house. it was nice having him arnd n showing me. at least i wun be lost goin to sch but i'm not so sure abt goin back home..hmm...hope i wun get lost too!!

aft the "small" n "unofficial" tour arnd the sch, i headed to Lido to catch a movie. alone. i was all alone watching tat movie. believe it? but it doesn't mean i'm a loser or loner. it's jus tat i tot of trying. since going wid frens, u can't tok, so isn't it the same as going to the cinemas alone?? besides, i'm not the only one doing it n this notion has been on my mind for a while already. so watched King Kong.but the stupid thing is, i din noe where to buy the tix. stupid rite? my first time there. i almost got confused as to how to get to Shaw House in the first place!! haha. luckily Sylvia saw me n greeted me while i was on the phone wid my bro. i was surprised to see her! new hair style. very nice! she got a big shock when she found out i'm in SAJC. she "har" very loud. den i was lyk, "wad? wad? wad happen??" den she replied tat she's going to SAJC too n then, it was my turn to "har" very loud! I couldn't believe it! I was totally surprised! i get to see her again!! haha. aft 4 years already. happy. got more company. there's SK, Val, Wei Qin, Jonathan n now, Sylvia! Woah! i was happy...happy...

ok. anyway, the movie was superb. wad can u expect from Perter Jackson except a whole time of thrills? but sum parts are similar to Lord of the Rings. lyk a scene of spiders, the angle of filming sumone climbing up. but the actress is gorgeous. i wonder wad's her name. the lead actor, ok la. so-so. have sum weird foreign look. actually, i bought the tix 5 mins aft the show started n entered the cinema 10 mins aft the show started. it was ok la. jus miss a bit in the front. got a centre, last row seat. tat's the good thing of watching alone. only one centre, back row seat n tat's for me! but when i got there, an indian lady was sitting on my seat. at least she knows n got outta her seat cos it's rightfully mine! haha.

the actress acted very well. brings out the emotions very well n so is King Kong himself. the last line "it was not the planes tat kill him, but beauty tat killed the beast" hmm. beauty? honestly, i think it's him. the guy who brought King Kong to NY tat killed him. if he hadn't brought it back, none of the chaos would have happened n King Kong would have lived in the island, right where it belonged. yup. those are my tots. i wonder wad will happen to him. the one who brought King Kong back. i wonder if he would get sued or be praised. hmm. some scenes are gross. closed my eyes, as usual. jus dun wanna have nightmares aft tat.

ok. enuff of tat. so here's my trip in Pangkor. jus a brief summary. the first day at the island was okay. forgot wad time we reached there but jus went to the beach aft settling down n see the sunset for a while. ate wonderful dinner den played a game at a large table till one of the guests chased us out cos we were making too much noise. i slept wid my 3 cousins. it was nice! i'm happy. cos i can get to know them better lyk tat. slept at the lower deck of a bunk bed while Karen took the top. Shauntaine n Jonie took the queen-size bed.

the nice parts come the next day. luckily i wrote it down in point form tat nite lest i forget. so it's boat ride in the morning. a tour. to see the different islands nearby. it was a nice trip. keep goin up n down cos of the waves. screamed too. haha. me, sarah n mum. ah ma (my grandma) also sat wid us on this boat ride. i was quite worried for her though. cos i dunno if she can take the fast speed boat ride. but in the end, she survived.

we docked at this place called "Coral Bay". many corals n the shore really have alot of sea shells. very painful when we walked. my feet jus hurts. luckily there was a seat for ah ma to sit. under the shade while the rest of us played in the water. i also realised tat my aunts n uncles dunno how to swim. i was surprised! haha. jus lyk my dad. wanted to give dad my googles which hung arnd my neck. but when i took it out, my earring also came off. man. i was totally piss n upset. it was hopeless to find it cos the waters are simply murky. yuck. sad. sigh. oh well. den while trying to climb a rock wid my bro, i cut my finger. quite badly. a slit. it was very very painful. boo. but surprisingly, it healed quite fast. it swelled then the opened wound seemed to close. now? it's still healing. can see the hard sking outside. thankfully, nth bad happen. thanks white blood cells!! oh! had a great time wid my cousins too! btw, these cousins, they all live in msia so i hardly get to see them. only once a year. n i only have one cousin's email contact. so basically, i was isloated from them. so when i went to this chalet thing, it was kinda awkward. but i know tat i muz use this time to bond real close to my cousins. i dun wanna lose my ties la. really. so i'm really thankful for the great time i had at the sea at tat time. Daniel, Karen, Valene, Sarah (my sis), Edwina n Jonie. we played passing the seed game. sumone has to guess where the seed is while our hands jus pretend to keep passing. sang a song n when the music stops, held up our clutched hands n the person has to guess who has the seed. haha. it's a childish but nice game. dun have a ball la. so cannot play much games except this. but it was fun. soaked in the sun n got a tan! yeah!!

aft tat, we sat on a banana boat. i dragged in my cousins. Shauntaine, Daniel, Karen, Valene, Sarah n Edwina. they had never tried it before but i had. n it was fun the last time n i want them to experience it too. so i dragged them in. haha. there was much fun. esp sitting on the float thing n goin up n down the waves. haha. edwina kept screaming. me too. but i din wanna lose my voice. so i jus kept quiet n hold on to my handle. the life jacket is so lousy. the buckle doesn't work! but luckily, the man helped us tie it tightly. the last time i sat, we simply lose our grip n fell into the sea (it's meant to be tat way--falling into the sea) but this time, he made us hold on to our life jackets n so we will definitely fall inside. it was fun la. the force tat pulls us in. but i kept pilling on top of Karen. i feel so bad. sigh. but there was 2 rounds. 2 flings. aft tat, we showered, have a nice lunch n shopped arnd in a nearby town. bought a reversible pants. nice. but, the weather was really very warm. so a few cousins n i decided to go kayaking.

it's been a long time since i kayak. since last year when i went to OBS. sarah also went. it was her first time. it was a one hour kayak. rather aimless. quite boring. jus head towards a place call Monkey Bay. can see many monkeys at the bay. nice. then, over there, we had a race. hand paddle n see how can travel the fastest. haha. it was fun! I din noe the canoe can move when we hand paddle. valene was my partner. she's supper strong. she kept splashing water at me but the canoe moved very fast. haha. den, when it's time ot go back to shore, we tried to paddle backwards to it. haha. but we failed cos there were too many boats nearby. n keep getting the wrong angle. haha. but it was a nice try. yup. had fun!!

okay. aft showering n all, i went outside n wanted to wear my sports shoes when i suddenly find out... "where's my shoes??" I started screaming in my mind. hurriedly, i went over to my family's chalet n exclaimed to my mum. my mum gave me a piss off look n warned me tat it may be stolen n she ain't going to buy another pair for me. man. tat's lyk spending another $30 on my own to buy a new pair. but i was really scared. it's a nice n expensive pair of shoes. the stealer also took my socks!! i think tat's pervertic. i started looking everywhere. den suddenly, my cousin opened her family's chalet door. i peered in n saw a pair of shoes tat looked lyk mine. i asked if anybody wears tat brand n asked to see it. viola! it's my shoes!! n my socks is there too! i was supper happy! then, my cousin said tat maybe my uncle brought it in, in case other ppl will steal it cos i simply left it outside my door. haha. i was supper happy. when i personally checked wid my uncle, it was true. haha. it was a scary lesson learnt not to leave my shoe outside.

tat evening, i had a splendid dinner. there was an oyster dish. the oyster meat is really huge n it's smells nice. heard tat they have to soak it overnight in order to get rid of the sands. n i ate a dish where small squids are fried wid honey. superb. tasty. aft tat dinner, walked arnd n talked to Eric, my other cousin, the eldest there. he's working. joined my cousins n sat on a log. it's nice sitting there n talkin. esp since there is a young one, who's 6 yrs old, to entertain us. dark but nice. luckily got my handphone light to guide me for a while.

played pictionary wid play-doh when there's a pencil mark or on all-play. it's nice. it was fun. there was actually a game lyk tat. the real type. pictionary cum using play-doh. the words are different definitely. to match the standard of using a play-doh to mould it out. i hope to get hold of the game asap! had fun n played till 12am plus. it was nice toking to Jonie late tat nite too. we talked abt her OBS n wad she did. nice. got solo camping wan. hope to try it sum day!

tat's all. hope to meet up wid yi xian tml. got so much things to tell him. haha. hope i can rmb! miss jeremy already n the family. it wun be much fun widout them cos every yr, we'll enter the new yr as a big youth family. but now tat he n the family is missing-in-action, it really feels weird thinking abt it. sigh.

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Sunday, December 25, 2005 @ 10:28 pm


hey blog. now at my cousin's house using her com. nice. got a reply from jeremy!! happy. hmm. he said it's freezing there but he wishes everyboday a merry christmas. today's christmas service was ok. made a bad blunder where i cannot queue Kah Hwee in den suddenly i stopped. eleena also stopped. wow. was shocked la. n pai seh. oh well. 8 songs. 3-4 carols. anyway, had a bad jam jus now. terrible. when goin into KL. then, called up my aunt n toked to my aunt's daughter's bf n made a detour. but kept missing the exits. sat in the car till i almost got sick. grr. sigh. quite tired already. hehe. tml...dunno wad's on..oh well..
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Saturday, December 24, 2005 @ 11:29 am


hey blog. ytday, went to see Danny's carolling at Raffles Hotel. Met up wid Valeria from Xin Min sec n her other frens. Her frens not so friendly though. 5 of them. 3 boys n 2 gals, including Val herself. the other gal went to another shop so when i greeted Val, i also saw the 3 boys. they were so unfriendly. none of them asked Val to introduce me to them n they never looked at me in the eye. so i became dao n din talked to them. occassionally la. smile n laugh at wad they are saying. but other than tat, the whole time i was wid them, i was very very quiet. so unlike myself. hmph. n this made me wonder if i can mix in n find n make new frens in SAJC where, as far as i know, only 3 ppl from CTSS are goin there. so the chances of us being in the same class? very slim.

Oh well, went to Raffles Hotel, asked the Bell Boy for directions. the carol was good. it was nice to hear the choir sing n also to see danny. it's strange how his eyebrows movedwhenever he sings. haha. expression. but too much? maybe lyk wad he said, the others dun do it so it seems lyk he's over-doing it. anyway, it's nice to see him in contacts. never seen him lyk tat b4. aft watching 2 sessions, we headed off to Marina Square to have dinnner. took a long time to decide. haha. but had a good dinner but couldn't finish. sigh. but still, i was quiet. sigh. n i was starting to get quite upset. at who? myself n the grp. oh well!

not long aft we finish dinner, Danny joined us. could see him walkin downstairs from the window we were sitting at. when he came over, still, he did not pay alot of attention to me. tat upset me again. sigh. the whole nite i was upset..wad has gotten into me then?? then, when we went off, danny commented tat i was quiet n spoke very little. den he tried to make me tok n joked wid me but i was still quiet. it's true tat he never heard me say a single word. when i did say, he exclaimed! haha. making a big thing outta a little thing? anyway, the group walked in front of me n danny while the two of us started chatting n toking abt alot of stuff. when we came outta the building, the grp wanted to go walk walk by the river near esplanade. wow! i would love it la!! so nice. den can tok sum more wid danny. besides, tat was wad danny n i wanted to do. sigh. but time jus dun permit it. i gotta go off. so danny sent me off all the way to City Hall station. when i left tat place, it was 10.10pm. pretty late. afraid i'll get scolded by mum though. but din la. jus questioned. tried to beg her to allow me to go home very late next time but ma dun allow. oh well, den i guess i gotta make full use of the time in the day time to get closer to my frens!

ok. so now, here i am facing the bright daylight. it's pretty bright. n i'm sick. throat's got worse n it's hurting. i think i'll lose my voice soon. sigh. meeting yi xian later. n my bro's sick too. wid fever. sigh. but one thing good, i got a new com!! 17" monitor screen but everything is new la. my dad changed the CPU too. in huilt speakers....finally our speakers can work. but many things not installed yet. jus download MSN messenger but the stupid Norman Firewall keep popping out this request thing. piss off. gonna use the laptop to access messenger soon. ok. hope dad quickly downloads everything!!

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Friday, December 23, 2005 @ 12:13 pm


wow! i almost got a shock of my life! I suddenly realised tat i forgot to sign the appeal form for ACJC!! wah! then to top it off, Clovis already got a call from them, confirming tat his application is successful! wad's more, he said muz go to the posted sch n get the principal's signature n den return the form back to ACJC. man. now already 12 plus. i'm supper scared la. clovis also said 6 applicants are already successful. so i called up n toked to the teacher ic n she said i dun nid to go down n sign the form la. they'll still consider my application. scared. totally freaking out. also wonder if i can handle reality after 5pm. i hope so. i certainly do. i think i muz lessen my hopes now so i can handle it later. haha.
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Thursday, December 22, 2005 @ 11:40 am


hey blog. was jus reading one of my primary school fren's blog. it was nice. she toked abt her camp n how God convicted her n brought her right before His presence. Amen to tat! she cried. which reminds me of when the last time i was convicted to tears. it was so long ago. i wonder why it never happen again. is it cos i haven't been listening wid all my heart? wasn't listening closely wad God wants to say? having too many distractions in my life? is my spiritual life stagnant? i dunno Lord, speak to me n help me draw closer to you.

jus receive a Christmas card from Hui Hui. makes me feel so guilty. this is the 2nd christmas card i received. sigh. better go write back cards to them.

had a great time last night. tot i couldn't go out n eat dinner wid my fren but in the end, mum allowed. i was supper happy. went out wid Ken. Ben's fren. it's been a long time since we last met. so it was totally nice to see him again...with more hair. haha. he spiked it too! wid wax. aft helping out at a party at church, i went to CCK library n read a book tat i brought along. wearing a sleeveless shirt, i was freezing cold over there. then, when i saw Ken wearing a long sleeve shirt, wah, i totally shivered. gee. psychology. then, we hurried down to the food juction downstairs. last nite, on msn, i was joking wid him to treat me dinner but in the end, he still did. but i paid for his drink. cos i was shivering badly, i asked him to order for me my fishball noodles. nice. warmed my hand wid the steam while waiting for him to buy his food. while watching him queue, i started observin him. he has certainly grown...the whole body outline makes him look lyk 230plus but his hair makes him look younger. it's very cool n mature. haha. had a nice dinner, toking abt his trip to HK too. den, when he say he wanna get a drink, he said stand up, get a drink den sit at another place. hmm. was quite surprised but went along wid the idea.

in the end, we went arnd wid the drink in his hand. i ate fruits instead of taking a drink. we jus simply walked to all the levels while toking n chatting. bumped several times too. haha. den when i went to the toilet ont he hightest level, i was surprised to hear piano playing. it's lyk behind me. interesting. a young kid playing sum old nursery rhyme. yup. anyway, frm there, we walked down n entered almost every shop. it's nice to window shop. it's been a long time since i did tat. glad he din feel weird cos when i was in the stuff toy section looking at the various cartoon characters, i'm glad he was looking too. n commented. makes me not feel guilty of bringin him to the shop. toked abt several cartoon characters too. haha. he dislikes betty boop. ya. it was a nice experience shopping wid him.

went down to NTUC to buy water. wow. he bought a 1.1 litres water n he finished more than half of it by the time he reaches the MRT station. actually, aft buying water, i wanted to go sit at Food Junction n chat more wan. den he reminded me of the time. so sad. i tot it was only 8 plus but it was 9.37pm. so late! wished time past slower tat day. i got a big shock n started to worry cos i dunno if mum will scold me. she din call to chase me but i was thinking she may be silently mad n wun allow me to go wid my frens at nite again. so went home wid him sending me off at the gate there. reached home n saw my mum watchin tv. i say sorry but she still ask why i take so long to eat dinner. haha. u noe, a dinner is never a dinner cos there's bound to be shopping. u can't possibly expect 2 ppl to sit there all the way till so late rite? reached home at 10.15pm. luckily, mum wasn't angry. hehe. but kinda worried abt the nite when i go down to see Danny carol. think i'll reach home later though. anyway, when the time comes, i'll worry n plan carefully. anyway, hope Ken's toes will quickly be okay.

Toking abt Danny, it makes me rather excited. lyk can't wait to see him again. from xin min sec sch so i hardly get to see him. the last time i saw him was durin his Student Council Investiture. he's a very nic guy. a gentleman wid all the manners. well, most i guess, jus lyk Ken. actually, Ken was the first guy i met who is so gentleman. nice. Jeremy is 2nd, as expected due to the upbringing n Danny's the 3rd. Quite happy tat gentlemen are still around. haha. anyway, going down to see his performance at Raffles Hotel tml nite. sigh. but will be goin alone. anyway, hope i can keep myself un-bored den. n hope there is time for both of us to catch up. but i certainly have to think twice abt letting him send me home or at least to my station. cos one risk is tat he'll miss the last train n another risk is him reaching home late. besides, he has performance the following nite too. hmm...anyway, going yw house later but rainin so heavily now!! grr...anyway, hope it'll be a good time of catchin up.

oh ya. fell sick wid a bit of sore throat. hope it wun worsen n i'll quickly get well!!

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005 @ 1:54 pm


hi blog. wad a boring day i will have. i got no plans. played piano den dunno wad to do already. think i'll be typing all my sermon notes into the com. i also transferred sum CTSS contacts to a phonebook i have n den delete them so i'll have space to contain my JC frens no. i gotta do it for MSN soon. runnin outta space. i've only got 5 more days in singapore before i go to malaysia again. this time round, it's a chalet. nice. with my other cousins. i hope we'll really bond n i wun feel so shy to tok wid them. hope i'll have a good time there!! hopefully.

wad else. oh! ytday morning, jeremy flew off to UK. so sad. going there to study for A levels. his family also flew to spend the remaining 2 weeks wid him before they leave him in UK. i think jessie or maybe the mum? will be the most upset one. went over to his house at arnd 9. den watched Legally Blonde till it ends. i was glad i saw a poster that i gave jeremy in his room! he put it up! yeah. so happy. but den i exclaimed tat he should also pack tat poster n bring it along to UK. yea. eventually, he really did pack it. anyway, we played a game of charades. i had never played the game wid the game board n the cards all ready. it was fun. there are 4 categories: Books, Idoms, Song n Movie. it's nice la. idoms are nice. for example, "I got a soft spot on you" and "forty-winks". songs lyk "Right here waiting". books lyk "unforgiven". who was there at the house? Samantha, Sabrina, Le Jing, Le Ying and myself. it was fun. uncle clarence also played with us. the grouping was unfair. so in the end, my team din really move alot of spaces cos they keep winning. anyway, it was great fun to keep us all awake at 11 plus at night. btw, we had to be awake all the way till 2-3am.

next, mahjong came!! but had to trade le ying for it. cos le ying's father came to the house to fetch her n at the same time, bring along the mahjong set. so we played on the coffee table wif a rug over it to prevent the sound. it was a very silent game. so 4 ppl play mahjong n the other 4 play cards. along the way, we trade places. unfortunately, the ppl playing mahjong got a bit sleepy n tired n lazy. towards the end, we jus separated the tiles. around 2-3am, many ppl started crowding around the table n talking abt many stuff. oh! by tat time, nicholas n yan ling came down to join us. so we were toking abt how nic meet his gf n how sab meet her bf. only a little bit. next, le jing suddenly scream. she exclaimed, "it's my bday now!!" ya. the day jeremy leaves, is le jing's bday. by tat time, uncle clarence n aunty geak hong woke up already. eleena n evelyn n kah hwee also reached the house. so we all sang her a bday song. aunty geak hong gave le jing another bday present. nice. then, we all had to move off. jeremy gave a hug to the maid.

along the way, we were afraid the driver will fall asleep. so we decided to listen to christian songs n sing them. i tried to tell uncle clarence to imagine he's leading worship. haha. we asked jeremy many qns. den when it was quite silent, i decided to pop a qn: Do u think we can control our feelings. wad do YOU (readers) think? well, the conclusion is tat we CAN control our feelings. we muz also constantly keep our feelings in check n see if it aligns wid wat the Lord says n sumthing lyk how He would feel. cos as christians, we would want to live a life pleasing to our God. so doesn't it mean our words, actions, feelings n tots be lyk His. we can never achieve it cos of human nature but we can depend on God to help us. also, there's an example where when ppl dun control their feelings, it results in alot of hurts n damage to the ppl around them. so we CAN control our feelings. n always focus in on God. one good example i raised up during the discussion in the car is that abt Jesus in Gethsemane. Jesus din wanna go to the cross but yet He said to the Father, "yet not my will but yours be done". aunty geak hong continued saying tat Jesus controlled His feelings of rebelliousness n looked at the bigger plan the Father has installed for them. so, Jesus has shown us the way tat we can control our feelings. yup. in the end, aunty geak hong n uncle clarence said it was a good qn. i'm glad i got the ppl thinking n the discussion rollin n my answer. hope for many more discussions lyk this where we can edify n grow n learn together!

tat's abt all i gotta say. see ya! btw, the results of the appeal wil be out on 23rd.

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Saturday, December 17, 2005 @ 10:12 pm


hey blog. a long n tiring day for me. i think blog today rite? hmm..anyway, had a prac wid the youth today for....i think i'd better not say here yet cos dunno if she/he'll come online later...it's a surprise for tat person. anyway, the prac was not so good for me....cos first, i dunno how to sing den dunno my pitch correctly den have to change key. aiyo. dunno wad happen to me. haha. tml....long day....lunch out wid the youth too. jus now also help my sis's fren to start the blog. went to her house. wah. her laptop a bit bright for me. see till eyes pain. tat's all. hope i can stay over at the airport!!
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@ 10:11 am


aiyo. dunno wad's gotten into me. communication gap? recently, every morning when i wake up, i'll always quarrel wid my mum. i dun understand why. maybe it's cos of my stupid stubborness. sumtimes she always say things last min wan. lyk today. suddenly say want to bring me down coffee bean to eat lunch dere. wah. i was piss la. cos i have already in mind plans tat i wanna do today. den suddenly she throw this in n say she wanna bring me down Borders down dere sum more. wah. i hate last min planning lyk tat. i always hate them. i told my mum many times already not to do this kind of last min planning den tell me. esp abt hol trips. yet she still do this. totally piss, i still insisted on carrying out wad i intended to do n refused to go to coffee bean. cos of it, we quarreled. i still am not going down today. hmph. this is jus one example. but. dunno wad's wrong wid me la. dunno whose fault is it either. dun wanna think abt.

btw, i got posted to SAJC. was not so happy tho. wanted ACJC. AC's cut off is 10pts. i think SA too. so am appealing for AC. ytday, wanted to do so la. den got ready all the doc even purposely photocopy sum of them. went all the way to sch under the hot sun, fill up the form, printed it out on the spot den realised tat i forgot to bring the photo of myself!! wah! tat's another thing tat piss me off. i couldn't believe i jus miss tat one thing b4 i complete the form. wad a wasted trip. wad's more, it's so warm!! n they mentioned tat application widout a photo will be considered incomplete n will not be taken into consideration. wah. stupid me.

last nite, i have a good tok wid khalis on msn. good but short. we were discussing whether we can control our feelings. can we? tell me wad u think! n we were toking abt how personality links to feelings. if anybody has anything to say abt this, drop by an email or tag!

ytday, he also msg me n ask me which sch i'm posted to. i was surprised cos i tot he din wanna tok to me. but well, jus replied n asked a bit more. but i initiated the closure of the convo. i felt kinda stupid doin it but i think it's cos i was piss wid how he responded to me last time which makes me not wanna tok to him anymore. but den again, at nite when i was thinking abt it, i tot tat perhaps i should use tat opportunity to tok more. but wad else can i say? i jus feel upset tat he treated me tat way. n also, i'm afraid if i start toking again, i'll become direct again den start to agitate him till he regrets sending the msg over in the first place. man...i dunno la. it's very difficult to guess wad's on his mind.

ok. tat's all i gotta say. bye

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Thursday, December 15, 2005 @ 12:40 pm


Hey blog. Been talking a lot to Khalis lately. Nice chats. Helped each other a lot. Also, we talked just at the right time when I was feeling lonely n all. Yi xian not in Singapore, coming back today. So I can’t wait for his return!! A pity I dunno the time of his arrival if not, maybe, I’ll go to airport n fetch him. Haha. Ok. Tat’s a bit extreme. But I’m doing this kinda thing for one of my close frens. Me n my other frens will be doing it too! Shh. Dun wanna say. Cos maybe she/he’s looking at it now.

Yesterday, went all over town. First, rushed down to Kinokushiya Bookstore n bought 3 books. 2 of which are to give to my frens. But sadly, one of my frens dun seems to wanna accept the gift. So I feel very trapped n sad. Cos I purposely rush down ytday to get the book. The other book, I really din expect to find it! I jus went to the information counter den asked for assistance. Surprisingly, the person told me it’s the last copy!! Woah! I was totally happy. Being the impatient me, I quickly rushed to the section n looked thru the shelf. I couldn’t find it. Den I started looking thru again till my neck started to ache. So I put my head up den I saw a shelf at another column wid the same category. I was lyk jumping for joy la! So I walked briefly there n started searching the shelves while praying tat I’ll find it. Suddenly, the words “Passion and Purity” was staring back at me! Woah! I tell u! I was supper happy! I grabbed tat book n started looking down at the author’s name. Yup! It was her alright. Elizabeth Elliot. Haha. I was supper happy. The last copy..i got the last copy. Clutching the book tightly in my hand, I tried to contain my joy in front of the other ppl n look at other books. But I jus got too distracted in wanting to purchase the book immediately. So I left the shelves n went to the counter. Long queue but it’s worth it. Used the voucher too. Aft 20% off all 3 items, it’s $57 plus. The total discount is $14 plus. Imagine the real bill? Poof!

Ok. In the evening when I return, I started walking arnd the condo wid the MP3 player. Nice. Jus admiring the view n see if there is a better spot for me to read the Bible in the evening. Maybe I’ll try another spot today. Den, I sat on this short swing n swing a bit. A toddler was playing in the playground wid his mum. When they had to leave, he waved to another family of toddlers who were playing there. I turned to gaze upon tat sight. He caught my eye too. But he din wave. He jus stared. N I did the same too. Den while walking off, he stopped in his tracks. The mum looked down n saw he was looking at me. So I waved him good bye n he waved back. He walked off a little before stopping again. Looking at me again, I simply smiled n shrugged my shoulder. I waved again n finally, he was contented n left. Haha. It’s nice to catch the eyes of a young child. He was a handsome boy. Yup. Cute. Wished I got sweet or stuff toy or sumthing. Then can give it to him.

Ok. Tat’s abt all I gotta say. Later I have a piano audition. At 245pm. To play to a teacher to see whether I can be in her diploma class. I’ll jus do my best! Hope everything goes well n I’ll noe how to carry on despite making mistakes!

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Monday, December 12, 2005 @ 8:35 pm


hello blog! i'm finally home! home....hmm....ya...i consider this my home. ok. msg him too. din wanna drag it any longer n keep thinkin if he'll reply or not. gladly, he did. but we only toked for a short while last night before we slept. toked a bit today too. sms. but i noticed one thing different. he has changed. his attitude towards me has changed. though he replied, he is still cold towards me. lyk he dun really care much. i admit, he did ask me sum qns but he hardly comments on them n doesn't sound as cheerful as he did the last time. sigh. it's really saddening n heart-breaking. sigh. i wish things din have to turn out this way... i really wonder if i shld continue to put in the effort to maintain this friendship if he seems unwilling. i really need advice here!!

ok. reached home last night arnd 1230am. took a maxi home. first time i sat on it. it was a van type of taxi. 35dollars. it was a long n dark trip. tiring. slept at 2am. today, woke up to the noisy sound of construction. hate it. so got up at 11am plus n den msg him. sadly, he only replied lyk later. nvm abt tat. at least he replied. n he's still not feeling well. hopes he can get well soon quickly! aft waking up, immediately play piano. cos i got an audition for diploma coming thu. scared. dunno if i can prac in time for it. 2 pieces. prac hard today. actually, not tat hard but jus a bit. get familiarise n choose the pieces. sigh. jus hope i can scrap thru the audition. i really wanna take a dip course.

den the rest of the day past wid me playing games wid my sis's frens. pictionary again. den went swimming! nice weather to swim. think i got a bit of tan. learnt to sommersault in water!! nice! sigh. it's night time. the whole feeling of missing him comes back again. it's really heart-breaking n sad. man. i wish this will be over soon. i really must let go... lord, take it. this is yrs. help me Father.

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Thursday, December 08, 2005 @ 5:30 pm


hi blog! I'm in Chiang Mai now! it's so cool. at a cyber cafe now...1baht per min. ha. but i dun mind spending money since i can go online.

touch down ytday. last night still have tat feeling of being on the plane. bad. made me unable to go to slp for a while. also, initially, the hotel gave us 2 rooms tat are very far apart..10 rooms apart. so ma n pa were very unhappy. aft i'd showered, ma came over to my room den start using our phone to complain. toked to the manager too. so in the end, they gave us connecting rooms on the 18th floor! so at 12midnight S'pore time, we shifted rooms. haha. it was quite interesting yet troublesome. anyway, the hotel have great lobby but one thing bad is that the staff initially tell us tat there isn't any rooms available. aft much complain, then they give it to us. hmph. bad....

today, we went to many places on a van where we jus pay the driver 1000baht--S$40. so jus ended all the trips..went to hot springs first. me n my grandma jus went into the jazzuzi where there are alot of hot water. 15mins. 120baht--S$4.80. yup. it was nice la. they also have nice view there...so took many photos of myself. they're nice. hope my smile was natural.

next, we went to many home-industries places lyk the umbrella factory, silver ware (see till eyes painful now), leather factory, carpet shop, silk shop (can see the worms n the coccoon being boiled)...many others tat i can't think of now. it was a nice but tiring n sleepy trip.

the weather here is not bad la. quite cooling n cloudy. no rain n no sun. the food also ok la. edible. not too salty. ok. so tat's so far abt my trip....the second day. see ya arnd then!

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Wednesday, December 07, 2005 @ 11:29 am


ok. going to leave for chiang mai soon..at 1215pm. i'm bored now. so decided to go online n blog. called yi xian but no one picked up the phone. sigh. nvm. later at aitport can make free local calls. sigh. it looks lyk it's going to rain. so gloomy. over there in chiang mai, the temperature is air-con temperature--24degreesC. nice. but i dunno whether i can stand it. i noe he'll love it alot. cos the other time singapore also rain continuously for 3days rmb? den there were strong n cooling winds. the temp then is arnd 23-24degreesC. grr. jus hope i'll enjoy myself there! but also, my dad's colleague jus came back from there ytday but say tat it's hot there.. ask us to bring umbrella. hmm... ok. nth much to say here. jus wish he'll call n we'll tok for a while. oh well. after advice from other ppl, i decided not to call him den. jus hope we can still tok aft i come back from my trip n before he leaves!
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Tuesday, December 06, 2005 @ 1:54 pm


What a bright n sunny weather today! jus looks fine to go swimming later! ok. had a great time ytday evening. it was a bit cool. so no one was swimming. i figured out tat the ppl think the water may be too cold to swim. so with my Hp, mp3 n Bible in my hand, i went downstairs to lie down on those chairs where ppl sunbath. listening to the songs n gazing up at the sky covered with clouds, it was an awesome moment. the moon was out too. it was a crescent moon. it was shining brightly too. sitting there, i thank God sliently in my heart. really jus praising Him n thanking Him for creating earth n me to live in this place. although this place is filled with much evil n darkness, yet, i had known God n therefore can live in the light. then, thinking on, it reminds me of the messages in the camp i attended recently.

lookin at my Bible n reading a passage, it toks abt His glory n believing in the unseen. coincidentally or not, the song tat was playing was also toking abt His glory n majesty n giving my all to Him. woah! i tell ya. it was nice. real nice to see God speaking to me in so many ways. haha. there n then, i re-commited my life to Him. may He forever use me n may I forever be yielding to His voice n His voice alone!

Not long later, a young child dropped a ball into the pool. i decided to help retrieve it but not by jumping into the waters though. so i created ripples to push the ball to the ends of the pool. when it was quite near my reach, i stretch out my hand. being an impatient gal, i used my finger-tips n touch the surface of the ball. aiyo! jus as i had feared, the ball went in the opposite direction. n all because of wad? me being too impatient! so i used my hand to create ripples n push it to the other side. cos i noe that if it went to the waterfalls there, it is impossible to get it back again. finally, on my second attempt, i got the ball back. this time, i waited till it is more of within my reach n so catch hold of the ball. nice. it was relieving to hold the ball again.

i think, wad i can draw thru this is tat the Lord is teaching me patience. lyk telling me to be patient n not be so anxious to get back on track n be frens wid him. sigh. many a times He spoke to me thru many ppl n events not to be impatient but i always forget. it's bad. i think no patience is bad cos patience is one of the Fruits of the Spirit. Yup. pray tat i'll learn to be more patient n wait.

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Monday, December 05, 2005 @ 11:49 am


hi! feeling better already but it still gets lonely at night when i have no one to tok to. wonder where is yi xian cos i'd called him twice ytday. i tot he came back from genting already. anyway, my cousin from new zealand jus came over. staying at my place too. the bf also. not the first time i have a stranger staying at my place but jus have to accept. it's a rather uncomfortable feeling. he's name is Dustin. i'm surprised at the name cos i tot tat only my sch tat Dustin have that name. ha. he's a chinese, thankfully and i think he dyed his hair red. he's not bad. plays the drums but noe a bit of guitar.

I'd jus shown him sum songs and he had tried to play them while i sing. but i keep going off-pitch. ha. anyway, it's nice to spend sum time wid him in the room. if only reuben, my bro, is here den it'll be better.

ytday, aft church, the youth n i went for lunch together. jeremy, my bro n i went to buy back food from coffee shop while the rest ate in mac. den aft tat we play lan in clementi. it's really cool! from morning 10am-3pm they charge $1.60! cheaper than outside so i'm very willing to play n allow my bro to play. but we only play for one hour. no more than tat. dun want us to cultivate the habit of spending. but the ppl i meet there are really...ugh. they are quite gangster-ish. no wonder my mum dun allow me to play arcade. well, jus gotta control myself to not stare at them or talk to them. den nth will happen. i keep dying when i play CS. aiyo. the ppl are very pro la. dunno how they do it wan. i keep shooting at them, they shoot at me but in the end, i still die n they survive. i dun understand. maybe cos of the weapon? perhaps so.

aft lan, we went over to bernice's house. wun say it's exactly nice playing there but well, at least we have a time together. sum play monopoly while the others watch best bet till it ends. but it's a really crapy show la. so many dreams. waste time wan. stupid show. den play rounds of Big Two. yup. n uno stacko. tat was nice. me n le jing n my bro. so shaky. ha.

ok. tat's abt all. jus tat on the way home, we were very silent. me, my bro. jeremy, jessie, le jing n le ying. i dunno why but it's weird la. anyway, we had a good time together. good bonding.

jus hope he's okay. i haven't heard from him for so long. he seems to be avoiding me. i dunno. maybe i think too much but everytime i sent him a msg, he never replies. so i dunno why he's doing tat. i really hope he'll start talking to me again. hopefully b4 i leave for chiang mai b4 7th dec or aft i come back. i hope so!

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Saturday, December 03, 2005 @ 8:31 pm


Ok. dunno if anyone will notice i'm blogging here cos I'd been blogging at my other shared blog. but, well, sumthing happened so tat blog will be dead. hmm. will try to find out how to delete it. anyway, it's really sad n lonely for the past few nights....almost every night i cry. it's simply devastating. I miss him. i miss him alot. there has been many times where i wonder if i'd done the correct thing...sumtimes i hope to pick up the phone n tell him i'm sorry n hope life goes back to normal; go back to the past where we were close. but sumthing in my heart tells me that i shouldn't do tat. lyk it'll break his heart even more if i get back together den break up. sigh.

i really dunno. i dun wanna lose him as a fren. i dun wanna lose a fren. he's such a nice guy. considerate, caring, helpful, nice..jus abt everything but now...i really wish i can jus pick up the phone n chat wid him. oh! I miss him alot. everytime i see things which he lyks, it brings back alot of memories. lyk the other day i saw a plane flying, the cool strong wind. when i shopped at tiong bahru plaza. cos tat's where i shopped wid him b4.

i got so many things to say, lyk many adventures to tell. i always tell him in the past. but now....i'm really at lost n upset. i really dunno wad to do. i also worry for him. i wonder how's he doing; wonder how's he taking it. i'm worried. simply worried. n sad. sigh. i hope this will be over soon n he'll start talking to me again. i really hope he will talk to me. yupp.

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