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Sunday, February 24, 2008 @ 10:37 pm [recount, tips taken]
Well! karen's wedding was on Saturday! congrats to my cousin, Karen and her husband, Samuel! Karen, you are the first one on my father's side to get married! haha. well, i'm happy for you! and she'll be moving to spore too! to simei! yay! hope to get closer to her when she is in spore! well. we left the house at arnd 1pm. headed straight for the church. and we met with this irritating traffic jam!! i totally dun lyk it. at spore side. if not, we cld have reached the church early. but thankfully, we aren't late. and luckily we all sat tgt and was upgraded to front rows since we are relatives of the bride. so below are the photos! the last one b4 the nxt para is taken when i was bored while waiting for the tea ceremony...and look at the reflection! oh! the tea ceremony is very interesting cos my cousin's maternal side has 9 uncles and aunties. imagine the number of times tea has to be served! oh. the first few photos are taken at my condo. for fun and memory and modelling. haha. still got 2 more scenes..at the waterfall and against the brown rock pillar. but din wanna put them up...
the ceremony was very nice. i enjoyed the message alot. i din expect tat. but it reminded me again wad love and marriage is all about in a Christian context. really good reminder. thankfully, the chr was air-conditioned and the pastor was interesting. there was a chinese interpreter too! =)) actually, i also ask my professional cousin, eric, to take photos of me at the hotel room! they are really lovely! seen them already. so i'm only waiting now for he and i to be online at the same time so that he can transfer the photos to me... the next ones are on the wedding dinner. dun i look nice in the red dress? ma purposely buy it wan. actually, it's for sarah but she din lyk it. so i had to take it. well, it's a bit loose but still bearable. there were soothing, piano-playing pieces playing in the background while waiting for dinner to start. and thankfully, the dinner started at 8pm and not anything later than 1hour after the time stated on the card. dinner food was good. not bad. i enjoyed it. and thank God my throat din ache though one of the dishes were cooked with prawns. the food were served warm too! nice! oh oh! interesting fact! my cousin's wedding dinner had 78 tables!!! imagine that! so many ppl hor...wonder who's rich. the restaurant's really grand too! nice! =))
there's one thing i especially lyk about the bulletin/programme sheet...look at wad's written on the front cover: yesterday, we discovered love gently unfolding in our hearts, whispering of the joy to come
awesome, ain't it? i think it's beautiful..the way there is a chronological order :) okay. so all in all, i did pick up a few tips on wad to do and not do in my future wedding (i hope there's one!). first, set aside rows of seats for my relatives. second, play non-lyrical, soothing music in the background while waiting for dinner to be served. muz be suitable for the diverse age grp of ppl present. third, allow parents on both side to say a speech during the dinner. hehe. okay. wonder which cousin will be next! cheers! oh. giving tuition; teaching was fun today! tell you more soon! --------------------------------- Thursday, February 21, 2008 @ 11:54 pm [heart-aching]
well, today was crazy yet nice and sweet. the decision i made at the end of the day despite all these is one that made me cry, even on the bus (and you know how much i hate to cry in public. very embarrassing). but the decision had to be so. i wish that i din have to hurt you like that...i really dun want to..but... sigh. i'm so sorry for making you go thru this... well, was talking it out to my fren abt this and this was mentioned: there is a "should not" in this decision and to follow her is to gain benefit for long term. i dunno how you and i will handle this..i'm especially worried for you..but i do hope we'll both move on. and for me to be more disciplined. nevertheless, i will rmb this day...not jus wad happened but more on who you are--understanding, caring and mature. [recounting] today work at kallang office was *whee!* today's shifting day. and very soon, all the cabinets were moved and the office starts to get very spacious. zw and i then found a big shocking thing! that the registry looks so much smaller than when there were shelves! i was quite surprised by that! the registry will always be the place tat i rmb..playing pictionary, taboo, chats, making boxes, packing...it's where we all really work hand-in-hand, interacted, hide-out and have fun! esp the fun part. haha. so it was back to some shredding work. then, after a while, since jia wen and yichen were at summit, alvin, zw and i got bored n sian of the work. then, today being the last day of work, we decided to celebrate and give each other a treat by going bugis junction! yay! we've never been there b4 to eat since it's pretty far. then, we decided on japanese food and took some time to find a suitable restaurant. in the end, we took 1 hour to walk there, find the restaurant and order the food. haha. the food was nice! not tat expensive for the meal i bought..and definitely worth my money. but i wished jia wen and yichen were here joining us. then, it would really be a good gathering together...our total bill ended up with $70 plus...wah...alvin...eat so much and so expensive. haha :P jus joking.. so by the time we walked back to office, it was 130pm. so our lunch break was frm 11am to 130pm. haha. shocking but interesting. sigh. but can't earn the money for that. then, there was really nth to do. so read the motherhood mags so i wun nid to bring them home. read the mags with zw too. also fell aslp on the sofa. all 3 of us at different corners of the 2 sets of sofa. of course, b4 alvin left early, we took a photo tgt. put my hp on self-timer =) after alot of self-shots failed..haha. not bad la. the best i can get... well, after that, zw and i stayed back to read more mags lyk Her World! he was alright with it. however, we got chased outta the office at 5pm..boo..lost one hour of pay again. cos they are going to lock the office, we had to leave. then, i suggested going out tgt since i got BSF in the nite and nid to wait till 6.15pm comes. zw was nice. he decided to keep me company and was all for the idea of going out! =) thanks, pal! so, while deciding on the place, i suddenly rmb khalis saying that he needed his SCDF officer rank. so since i'd the time, zw and i popped down to beach road to find it. and after such a long walk, we finally reached. and the crazy thing was that when we finally found a shop that sells the rank (which is hard to find), the aunty refuses to sell to us! saying that she has packed it into her closet and she was closing shop already! man! i was super...argh...we continued walking on but still can't find...why the aunty dun wanna sell after i begged her?!?! grr. okay. but anyway, took down the shop name and unit number. so khalis can go there himself to get it. sorry man! din manage to get it for you! and along the way to beach road, was talking to zw abt the bmt stuffs...so scary and sad lah. really worried for my bro. i hope my bro dun nid to be takan-ed by the sgt until lyk tat or go thru such vigorous training! i hope my bro will be fine leh...really hoped so. so i'd bsf jus now. first lesson. it was good. nice. met le jing for dinner. was so happy to see her! and catch up with her.then quickly got down to wad i wanna share and discuss with her...i was glad she was there to advise me and be there to listen to wad i have to say as well as my struggles. so i ate the dinner hurriedly in 20mins! shocking. and i also met juilian..the ACTS baptist chr guy tat le jing and i met at the youth camp last year! haha. quite cool! so BSF first mtg was not too bad. hymns. awesome. then, separated into grps. my leader's name was geraldine. though the first lesson, intro class was a bit rigid and quiet, but when it's time to pack the chairs, it's when we start toking to each other on our own! and it's the really fun part cos it's spontaneous. and i realised tat i was the youngest there besides this other gal who's 19 years old too. all the rest are either uni year 1 or uni year 3. one of them is working too. haha. oh well. i volunteered to be an usher! yay! so did le jing! hopefully we'll be on duty on the same day so we can have dinner together still! i was also thinking about playing the piano for BSF. i'm still thinking about it. on one hand, i wanna use this gift tat God has given me to serve Him in this area. on the other hand, i dunno if i'm up to it. i dunno the expectations and if i can meet them. looking at the current pianist jus wows me cos he plays really well! awesome-ly well! and i wondered if i nid to do so too. well, was toking to one of the gals in my grp cos she played the piano last year for BSF and she was saying that it isn't that tough. she was telling me not to be intimidated by that pianist cos he may be a professional *wow* Okay. so maybe i'll consider again... today's lecture was intro to the bible, gospels and Matthew. and one thing that hit me most was that God does not make mistakes in His Word. that is to say tat wad was written on the book is true and not wrong. so...follow it, Sharon. tat was wad was whispered to me by the Holy Spirit there and then. and so it hit me quite hard esp in the situation i was caught in. guess tat's the big push to my decision.... okay. back-tracking a little, i met zw's sis today. 3 of us took the same bus. and she alighted at NJC. was glad to finally be able to see her and tok to her since zw mentions alot abt his sis. though she was a bit quiet but if i do get a chance to see her again n tok to her again, i have hopes that we'll be able to tok more! :) going forward... tml reporting at summit..at JE there. finally somewhere near to my hse. hopefully can meet zw on the bus again! after tat, got band prac at nite. i hope i can get all the scores in time!!! okay. i'm tired and sleepy. shouldn't be sleeping too late either...nitez! i hope *you* will get a rest tonight too... --------------------------------- Sunday, February 17, 2008 @ 4:08 pm [sad; painful; tug-of-war]
it's jus so hard to let go of something that you want. the opposite scenerio seems so possible instead. such a great possibility for me, in fact. it's mutual so it jus seeems to be the most ideal situation yet i've to put it down. against my heart's desires..against all the humanly desires raging inside. i dun wanna fake it. don't wanna put up a strong hold. this is wad is in me. it's painful to let it go..to put it down..to say no...to not compromise and not be relaxed in my "rules"/values...it's hard..it's a struggle... other ppl are doing it or even had done so..even those that i grew up with. but i know that even if others are doing it, it doesn't necessary mean it's the right thing to do. this time round, my mind won. rather, my Spirit Man won (that's wad i learnt today. tell u more later). right now. it won. as hard as it is to say this, but i do hope the Spirit Man will always win. cos that's where my conviction stems from; that's where my beliefs and values come from. these make up the basis and foundation of my life and i will and must stand by them.. it's the right thing to do, Sharon. as painful as it is, it's the right thing to do. surely, you don't wanna live in regret next time jus as how you've suffered in regret last year. sigh. i really don't wanna lead him on. yet, i wonder wad exactly should i do or not do...wad actions will lead him on or not.. i definitely dun wanna repeat history and dun wanna hurt him. sigh. i guess there are no hard and fast rules else it'll be very robotic. the obvious ones i'm aware of but the subtle ones is wad i'm cautious of. hmm. i dunno. i jus dun wanna lose a budding frenship. i wun deny that at times i succumbed and will succumb to do things that may lead him on or make him confused. for that, i'm sorry. the human side of me won. at times, my mind's not strong enough even though i may have said it outta my mouth that i won't do it. well, *to him* if you are reading this, i hope you'll get a clearer and honest pic of where i'm coming from. thanks man for being ever understanding towards me... *** [recounting] okay. body, soul and spirit. this is the topic that we touched on today at JPTN sunday school. and it really helps to clear lots of doubts and lots of clouds that i never really bothered to clarify. and it's so much clearer now and the lesson was very insightful. jus in brief: body is our 5 senses; the physical aspect of ourselves. soul is the intellectual and emotional part of us; self-conscious part of us. so tat's where the "mind" sits too. spirit is the spiritual realm part; God-conscious part of us. and some ppl call it conscience too. so, in short, Man is a Spirit, has a Soul and lives in a Body. everyone has these 3 parts in us..both Christian and non-Christian alike. for the non-Christian, it's lyk there is a veil separating the spirit from the soul and body..so they are unaware of the spirit part in them. and that is why, when we evangelise, we always say it's the Spirit of God that convicts them and not us cos we, humans, can't touch the spiritual realm in the individuals. only the Holy Spirit can. Spirit to spirit mah. and for the christians, though the veil is removed, the Spirit Man can be weak if not regularly fed and strengthen. so there were more discussions on this and indeed, it's very enlightening. i'm glad i attended this lesson =) and it's no wonder the introduction in the green booklet toks abt the spirit living in us... alright. retracking back some more, i went to watch movie with Khalis!! the first movie tgt this year! in Feb..haha..yes..so late. watched Jumper. well. okay la. short. a plot that's never been seen b4 and well, the conclusion wasn't conclusive. then, i heard that there is going to be part 2 and part 3. wah. thanks man. so now i'm stuck in a trilogy unwillingly lah. nice one. ha. well, but it was a nice meet-up with him. was a bit late when i reach there and somehow, lyk wad he said, i was high when i met him. dunno why also. maybe cos it's been a long time since we last met and chatted for a long time. so got tix and food and then let him try a piece of the freshly-baked brownies! chatted outside the cinema at the seats cos i dun lyk being stuck in the cinema watching all the advertisements. we watched at GV max. a super huge cinema. thankfully, din miss any part of the show... after that, his hands were itchy so he went to play pool. as much as i wanted to, i restrained. i can't afford anymore money to play pool. so watched him play one game then whinning-ly ask him to go. haha. he gave in to me. haha. so sat at the rooftop steps there. it's nice. windy at some point of time too. chatted alot with him. catching up lots :) time does past very fast. took nice photos too though he lost his cam-wore enthusiasm but i still want a pic. and yes..it's been a VERY long time since i've changed my profile pic on both frenster and facebook...maybe i'll use the photo he took for me as the display pic. i look pretty enough, i guess :P
okay. so we took 963 home. and on the way home, started talking on the issue of love and the article i read on My Papers..on the 5 different languages of love and other issues/qns. nice chats. so he took the bus all the way to my area. initially, he wanted to send me home (on a fren-fren basis) but after seeing that he keeps looking at his watch, i think he's kinda worried he'll miss his afternoon prayers. so suggested to him to stop at a bus stop at bb there and walk to the mosque nearby. glad he managed to find his way there and i din lose most of my sense of direction.. at the end of it all, for the first time, he complimented tat i was pretty that day. haha. partly cos i wore a dress and put make-up. firstly, i never wore a dress in front of him b4. secondly, i never put make-up in front of him b4. haha. and he said that there were a few stares in my direction at vivo that day. hmm. i never really noticed that but am glad (in my heart) to hear it so =)) retrack a bit more. on saturday, Zhi Wen and I baked brownies!! yay! he came over to my place in the morning and then started baking lor. mixed and cracked everything. then, when i realised that the baking part needs 30mins, i got shocked. i'm lyk, "wad to do within that 30mins of free time?" so went to do sarah's 3 maths qns that she's stucked in. then, showed him my hanoi photo album (wad ma will always do) and of course, my closet of board games! =)) it was fun baking the brownies..mainly cos it's baking with him. haha. to be honest, that is. anyway, we ended up baking the brownies for 40mins in total! and it's quite hard and burnt at the sides. blame me on not poking at the right places. nonetheless, it's edible and the middle portion really tastes nice! his aunt and my mum and khalis say it's okay. so okay lor. glad they all liked it! =)) looking fwd to more baking!!! :) okay. so i jus got a tuition kid. a pri 3 myanmar kid. they jus came in last year in sept. and to my surprise, the kid's english is not bad. then, i found out that the kid was sent to a private sch in myanmar. no wonder. and the dad got a job at keppel road..one of the shipping company. not bad. they also have another kid who's pri 1. oh well. it's pretty scary to really start teaching. he'll be my first kid. i dunno if i can do it but nevertheless, i muz be confident. more than jus appear confident, i muz BE confident. and not stutter. yes! okay. so the first lesson is this sunday. jus for this month. thereafter it'll be thur afternoon and sat morning :) i hope things go well! and that i'll be an effective tutor. and hopefully, if God is willing, i'll share with them about God and even bring them to the Myanmar Church that is worshipping at my church's premises on thu! their own ppl so i believe it'll be more heart-warming.. okay. was reading this at fren's fren's blog: memories are the most beautiful pictures our minds can paint...and nothing can ever erase them. So true! this song jus came to my mind: Remember me this way
--------------------------------- Friday, February 15, 2008 @ 11:30 pm [elated, recounting]
jus had cell grp. it was great. thank God for the chance and LOTS of time at work today to do a final wrap up of my sharing today. it was indeed good to do a wrap up. so i have my tots organised and everything planned out. lyk the pointers, references and the qns to ask. thinkin of the qns to ask is definitely not easy... and i'm glad there was a chance today for alvin to read a chapter of the guidance book evelyn gave me, which i brought for reference. i was surprised yet grateful to God. and i'm glad it brought in another perspective for him to think about (i hope). and i'm more grateful for his sharing to me about wad he believes in. to me, it's something new and different. haha. everytime i tok to non-christians abt religion, hearing their views and beliefs jus wows me. having no such thoughts myself, i'm really thankful tat God gave me a chance to see how they feel and think. though it's hard for me to say anything after that, it becomes a challenge, then, not to rely on oneself but on the Holy Spirit. anyway, at cell, i tried my best. separated the passage jus lyk wad kah hwee did the last time and for easy sharing. then, okay lor. at least they responded though most of the time, the adults always get it right at the first try. and aunty gh felt sleepy..i'm sorry. but well, at least this time, i can drive home better the points i wish to bring out...i din manage to finish wad i wanna teach. left one small section. so i'm still leading the nxt session. oops. oh well. kinda expected it. wanna say thanks to zhi wen. walked arnd with me in clementi today. first, it was the donuts where he waited for me while i choose 6 pieces! and they were really affordable. 6 for $6. decided to buy since i was earning. can't always let the adults treat me to supper. second, went to buy the mixing powder of brownies tat we are goin to bake tml! walking down the aisle finding where it's located. not easy. and there are not many choices either. third, accompanying me to find that beganwan solo shop and it made us go one big round cos we "mis-tot" which Mac's kah hwee was mentioning. well, we walked until quite late..arnd 645pm i guess. thanks lots! so. okay. let's turn the clock back more. V-day was nice. one of the rare times i celebrate it with a guy. in fact, if i'm not wrong, it's my 2nd. last time, i always celebrate it with frens. either with sh and yw or with my JC1 first intake class (i still rmb tat..the fun we had). only at J2 did i not celebrate it. so i did have my share of loneliness. but this year, 2008, it's nice. wonderful, in fact. dropped super big hints to the guy and finally, only when i gave a scenerio kinda qn did he ask me out. haha. call me mean if you want. but it was still sweet. then, it was the time of choosing the restaurant. having jus came out of NS and not knowing many restaurants (tat's wad he said. so quoting from him ONLY), there was a bit of trouble. so in the end, i checked out the PA discounts thinking i may have discounts. but well, at least it gave me/us some ideas of where to eat. so we finally settled for CHIJMES! yay! it's totally awesome! cos i wanted to explore the place after seeing the photos cousin eric took when he came to spore. i wonder if CHIJMES really looked tat nice. so i was very happy tat there is a chance to go there. besides, it's my 2nd time there! the first was with evelyn and le jing at Sun with Moon restaurant. so after seeing the menus, we ate at Le Baroque. din want the V-day meal and jus chose the ala carte ones. prior to that, we were already looking at the menu on the net while deciding on the restaurants. haha. so we arrived there early at arnd 6.30pm plus. and dinner came arnd 7.10pm. glad they admitted us though we din make any reservations. he gave me a lovely necklace too! =)) the scenery was really nice. in front of me was the chijmes hall so can see a view tat eric took a photo of, i think. it's nice. i wish he was sitting at my seat to see that view too. and the half moon was in the sky above us! lovely! fountain was in front of us on the same level. so you can guess we sat on the outside. i feared ppl who smokes will be situated near us and true enough, there was a guy who was smokin sitting beside us. we requested a change of seats but to no avail. boo. anyway, we had a great time while waiting for the food to come. great chats. and i dunno wad had gotten into me but i was blabbering away! not talking as in talking rubbish but was telling him alot abt myself and opinions on issues in the world arnd us etc. but i did so much talking. i felt so bad halfway thru, and even now, tat i talked so much such that i wonder if he got an opportunity to tok when he really wanted to. reminds me of last time khalis and i...anyway, our orders came soon. at least faster than i'd expected. bbq pork ribs and steak. mine and his respectively. and boy! does my pork ribs bones look lyk 5 fingers after all the meat had been eaten up! haha. wad's more, they din detach all the bones..they are connected by some tendon/soft bone. so it looks lyk the ball of our palms. haha. okay. but the food tasted great! superb! but the company is better! talked alot ALOT again. jus abt anything under the sun. laughing and smiling all the way. and the least of wad i expected happened. we had a candlelight dinner. literally. a small candle was about all that provided the light on that table. a unique experience. plus, there was a great music at the background! cos there was song dedication at the Lawn. the singers were really great! so professional and hit the right notes! the songs themselves was nice too! soothing and suits the event..calming and peaceful and puts love in the air...atmosphere was nice! indeed a high-class, romantic place... oh. but there were irriatating things too. when we asked for plain water, the waiter gave us a choice of sparkling wine and we-dunno-wad-cos-we-can't-hear-clearly. so we ordered sparkling wine. and i can't believe one bottle jus fills up both of our glasses! so we only have that one glass to last us through the whole dinner! the second irritating thing is tat i kept feeling intruded by that waiter. i kept feeling that he was lookin over my shoulder whenever he stands beside me. but my fren said that the waiter was jus lookin at the other customers. haha. third irritating thing: the bill part! we din even ask for the bill and it came! hey! why are you chasing us off?? then, i'd to quickly finish off that glass of wine in big gulps. so unpleasant and choking. okay. i think i'd better stop here. overall, dinner was pleasant. a place i wld still go back to. but me being me, i'll try all the other places first instead. i wonder if i'll have the capability and have frens to go with to try all the restaurants in CHIJMES in my lifetime...and interestingly enough, looking arnd me during dinner, i noticed we were one of the youngest couples sitting arnd there...and i began to think of wad reality is hitting in my face with. "why are you eating in such a high class place when you aren't even earning as much as them? aiyo. sharon arh. are you overspending again? shld you even be here? why are you here at CHIJMES?!?! you very rich arh?" sigh. was it a mistake? am i really overspending? i dunno. perhaps i really did go chijmes in the spur of the moment..to want another taste of it..before it's time? is there such thing as the right time in this issue?? so after that, started to explore and walk arnd the place. to the lawn, the corridor of shops that are closed, chijmes hall, studying the architecture, goin up the stairs, looking at the other restaurants...nice exploration. and i wonder if ppl can hold weddings at the chijmes hall. i think they can but it'll be very expensive. had a cheeky tot of holding my wedding there nxt time but of course, it wun happen. prefer it to be at a church that is familiar and closer to our hearts. but chijmes is a nice place to take wedding photos at! esp since the green land is gone cos IR is building there! i wonder why i hardly hear ppl taking wedding photos there at chijmes..i think i'll do mine there! haha. okay. i'm day-dreaming. wait till i get a bf and one who's serious then i'll talk abt this. lol. oh oh. and we found out that the live band that was playing all the song dedications was actually 2 singers. a lady and a gentleman. and the gentleman was playing the guitar. he plays duo roles..both singing and playing. the 2 of them took turns to sing and the dedication msg was typed out and shown on the screen beside them. so sweet. i wonder how much they charge. the singers' voices are strong and good! terrific! =)) so after walking chijmes, i wanted to take a photo with him. though neither of us brought a digital camera, i tot of using our HP to take. but he din want to. he said it was weird. okay lor. so we left and headed down a street neither of us walked b4. towards raffles city shopping centre. it was 930pm then. i was debating if we shld go back alr. but i was really very reluctant to leave. the night seems so young. but part of it is to blame my eating slowly and taking time to get all the meat outta the bones. haha. but anyway, we headed down to esplanade. checked out a little on the small play-ring there. i wanted to go and play lah. but after looking at it a bit, and judging frm the time on the watch, i decided not to go. the rides looked childish too. so went into esp so we can go to the bus stop to take 960. looked at the art exhibition a bit but was very disappointed with the lousy write up. not much on the works themselves. then, headed to bus stop and took the bus home. passed by chijmes again. so it's lyk we purposely walked to esp to take the bus home. haha. sounds stupid. if only time was on our side and then, perhaps we can walk arnd esp..be it downstairs by the river or upstairs at the rooftop... i think he was tired on the way home. he din talk much. and so i jus kept quiet too. no point in me talking again when i'd talked so much already. besides, i think he needed rest. so the whole trip back was silent except for the part on discussing our nxt meet-up :) but he was nice. he sent me home still though he can actually walk home frm the bus stop we both alighted from. tat was sweet. haha. and call me a thinker, i was thinking abt this nights before that. lol. on the way home, i had a battle btw my heart and my mind and in the end my heart won. but when reality strucks, nothing happened. i wanted to give him a thank-you cum good-bye hug but din. haha. part of me wished i did but part of me was grateful i din. i think the latter outweighs the former, come to think of it now. i dun think i wld have the courage to face wadever consequences that comes if i did so. so, anyway, reached home arnd 1050pm. was quite sad to find out that mum fell sick and was already slping. dad was non-chalent as usual. and boy seems to be non-chalent too. sigh. so neither of them questioned why i reached home ;ater than usual... ok. on the last detail of V-day, i received 2 bouquets of flowers! one from alvin and another from jia wen. jia wen also gave me a card tat shocked me. first, he wrote his name super big in the front of the envelope. never seen the sender's name in the front b4. but he's rational was interesting: "so you'll rmb i gave you the card". so funny. then, i requested him to write the word "from" at the top too. haha. second was his long long letter to me. i was so surprised he can write so much. haha. well, alvin gave me real flowers, pink roses (i was so happy to receive roses! they are my favourite!), so i carried that out to dinner that night. and so i can transfer them and water them at home. haha. it was really nice to be able to carry flowers out. i've never carried them out for long hours b4 and everytime i see gals carrying a bouquet of flowers, be it on V-day or not, i wld get jealous. haha. so i'm really glad i was able to carry one out that day! feel so proud man. haha. i think i sound crazy with my imaginations and fantasies again. lol. but hey. I LOVE FLOWERS!! i rmb how alvin and jia wen kept saying tat they were so embarrassed buying the flowers, bringing the flowers home and bringing the flowers to office. lol. well, there's always a first time to all these. but i was laughing while hearing their stories. haha. but well, it's was still nice. i also felt quite bad. they spent so much time and effort in this jus to make me happy or fulfil that little gal's request. man. i think i was too much when i acted lyk a little gal requesting for flowers or something frm them on v-day. crazy me. okay. so to wrap it up, jus wanna thank that guy for making my night memorable and special! it'll always be etched in my mind and stay in my memory lane! and i believe that everytime i step into CHIJMES or think abt it, i'll rmb that night we had together. also wanna thank my colleagues: Zhi Wen, Jia Wen, Yi Chen and Alvin for all your gifts! esp when you guys commented on my dressing and make-up. i still rmb wad yichen said after i'd put on the make-up, "you look nice. your face is glowing". haha. i was shocked to hear that. din expect it outta yichen. and i rmb wad zw said on the bus that we were on tgt, "your dressing looks...wow (mouth-ing the word)". haha. and tat was jus one of the many compliments he gave me tat day. haha. imagine tat! ain't i blessed? =) also to my frens who greeted me with happy v-day: khalis, le jing, charles, conray (which is totally unexpected), deborah, alison.... 14.02.08 I won't forget this date! --------------------------------- Sunday, February 10, 2008 @ 8:29 pm [happy yet feeling pain]
*ouch* my tooth hurts! and it's the tooth that my dentist warns me tat it may die. and now i think it has really died. ever since that day when i accidentally put too much ice cream into my mouth, the tooth starting aching even when i eat food! it only came while i was having dinner! terrible. painful. and i so don't wanna do a root canal! have to cut off all my nerve endings and pull out the entire tooth down to the roots...argh..you know i dun lyk pain..i so dun want this to happen!!!! today was nice. had a class outing for lunch! i was so happy to see many of them and even happier when yong hui turned up though it was at the last min! nothing beats better than having my buddy's company during that class outing. all the gals turned up except for ruth..and the guys..there were many of them. and strangely enough, when we sat down, it was the PW grp except for danny that isn't sitting with us. haha. so coincidental! it was nice catching up with all of them! weng san is in commando sch. praveen and yh is in the same company in BMT. joshua is in NS too. most of the others are working. it was totally awesome to be able to meet up with them and catch up on wad they are doing now. jannah is lazin at home. haha. alison is relief teaching and the stories she tells me jus thrills me! i'm so glad she's learning so much through this job. am really happy for her. danny is tuition teaching and taking her BTT on tue! all the best, gal! and jus found out that kamalesh works so near my working place! can meet up for lunch! it's super near lah! amazing! haha. and yh lost alot of weight!! seriously! he looks so much more fit now..haha. good for him! =)) had a really great chat with him! we toked alot..haha. so we ate at swensons at orchard there. heard that they always go there for class outing meals. haha. halal. it's a nice place. esp that place with the red seats. very good to take photos! and so we took some. the gals. the cameras keep flashing. fun and nice :) nice day today! oh! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! --------------------------------- Saturday, February 09, 2008 @ 3:59 pm [laughing my heart out]
haha. was reading SK's blog and it's so hilarous! esp the part where he blog wad his students wrote during his CME lesson. haha. well, SK will make a good and interesting teacher! so glad he got that period of fun and laughter b4 he enter NS. haha. and that pic of the SA guy looks so familiar. and it's so true wad that guy says: when our values are pure and righteous, they're noticeable from every direction through the actions and words we speak. hee. dun mind, SK and Jonathan, i take that sentence and put here k? well, i so agree with wad Jonathan said and i wonder where i stand..wad i'm showing..wad i'm radiating out..for God... and reading SK's latest entry really makes me think abt my own circle of frens...how many of my inner circle of frens actually give me Godly advice..how many of them are Christians...tat's the thing i've been wondering for years. somehow i discover that i can clique very very well with non-christians. many of my close frens are non-christians: yam wenn, shu hui, yi xian, yong hui, khalis...i wonder why and i wonder if it's something i shld change. not that i shld go against my own character/personality n not make any more non-christian frens but that i shld also put in effort in making close frens with Christians... perhaps. cos, honestly, i do feel a difference..when i have a close fren who's a Christian and one who's not. the difference is there..in their counsel and their advice and their stand. it makes a difference. plus, when there's a joy to share (which often stems frm the works of God), the Christians will jus rejoice with me with a smiliar smile! well, nonetheless, thank God for the Christian brothers and sisters that i have thus far though not very close: Jeremy, Le Jing and Josiah :) went to visit aunty xiao ling and family today. and for the first time, or rather, the rare times, i wasn't afraid of the dog. in fact, i cuddled and stroked the dog's fur umpteen times. the dog likes me too. i simply can't take my eyes off her. then, i later found myself toking to her lyk toking to a baby. oh man. toking to her melts my heart. how i wish it was a real baby that i'm toking to..my baby..haha. oh well. gotta wait for years b4 that becomes a reality. haha. okay. thinkin twice on getting a dog myself n being more at ease when i see dogs..hmm... the new hse was nice. not as big as the hillbrooks hse but stylish. esp the toilet. the view is extremely nice too! gotta chat more to elaine and calvin :) and also found out from the NTU Environmental Engineering Lecturer himself tt environmental engineering isn't tat good..gotta study until PhD in order to suceed well in career prospects wise. hmm. so more or less i know my positioning of my choices (if there is such a thing). oh well. see how it goes then! last night, it was horrible trying to slp!! i ended up slping close to 4am!!! it was super crazy! my mind was super alert and wide awake. keep dreaming and thinkin of things. in the end, i'd to force it to read a book and do one sudoku puzzle in order to make myself feel sleepy. i tossed and turned on the bed for 1.5 hours. ha. crazy. maybe and partly cos i woke up at 10am on fri...tat's why can't slp early last night. oh well. at least now, i can slp early tonight! plus the jog i'm goin to soon, i'll tire myself out! haha... --------------------------------- @ 12:49 am I know who holds tomorrow
I don't know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day And I don't borrow from the sunshine 'Cause the skies might turn to grey And I don't worry about the future, 'Cause I know what Jesus said, And today I'm gonna walk right beside him 'Cause he's the one who knows what is ahead There are things about tomorrow That I don't seem to understand But I know who holds tomorrow And I know who holds my hand And each step is getting brighter As the golden stairs I climb. And every burden is getting lighter And all the clouds, their silver line And, I'll bet the sun it's always shining And no tears will ever dim the eye And the ending of the rainbow Where the mountains, they touch the sky There are many things about tomorrow I don't seem to understand But I know who holds tomorrow And I know who holds my hand Yes I know who holds my hand
this came jus at the right time. opened up uncle clarence's email n saw this attachment. then searched for the song. jus so apt since i was tokin to zw on my results or rather, the to-be-results. Lord, yes, you do hold my tomorrow and i wanna entrust my results to you..my future to you too... --------------------------------- Friday, February 08, 2008 @ 11:41 pm [back, recounting, reflecting]
so I’m back from msia already. Had a change of plans since we all felt it was quite boring staying there for too long. So decided to head home today. Then, we were trying to convince mum to travel to KL to visit our favourite aunt and our cousins but she say no. saying that the jam will be quite bad ): so can’t go lor. Sad. oh well. Cny wasn’t too bad. Aunty lay kheng, uncle soo hui, aunty Shirley were there. Reunion dinner was unexpected. I was expecting dinner at some restaurant or hotel but it ended up with aunty Shirley cooking for us! Wow! Nice! I guess nothing beats a home-made dish…so the cousins that were there were: eric, cindy (glad to see her after many years!) and Alvin. later on the next day, aunty lay kuan and uncle soo khian joined us. So cousins that came over are Julia (glad to see her after so long too), Janice, shamus, Edwina and Jonie (: glad to have met them and dine with them. This time at a restaurant. Then, went back to aunty shirley’s house for agar-agar dessert and some chats. Then, bid uncle soo khian’s family good bye. so on the last day, I managed to tok more to Alvin. Had to gather up my courage to tok to him. Then, realised he’s 21 years old this year! Jus lyk all my temp staff colleagues! And it was nice toking to him though I tok little to him. I’m always shy in front of him. Maybe cos he’s handsome. His smile is always enticing. Haha. He’s my cousin. Okay. So he’s doing some physio-medical course. Last year. Graduating in November. And said that he may come down to spore to work! Yay! I hope to host him when he’s here! Okay. But I think I shld be less dao to him and take up more courage to tok to him… well, many of my cousins are attached already lor..janice, cindy (of coming to 3 years! I think she’ll be the nxt to get married! Yay!), eric…I’ve yet to ask Alvin and jonie. Haha. Oh well. at msia, though I din get to play firecrackers or fireworks, but I was fortunate to see both of them! Esp fireworks. It always wow-ed me. And interestingly, it was lyk this on new year’s eve: on my left were fireworks and on my right was one long string of firecrackers poping! I even get to see some kids light up some gunpowder in front of the house I was staying in! saw how it works and the sparks that came outta it. It was nice yet dangerous. I will never allow my kids to play with them. Definitely wun risk their safety. okay. So went shopping today at msia too. a short and rushed one. Went to buy bday cards and I got 4 cards for guys! The cards are really made for guys! Lyk there’s this guy’s figure in the front and got words lyk “hey dude!” I was so thrilled la! I can hardly find these cards in Spore! Definitely, I got cards for gals too..teddy bear ones. Wad’s more, they are RM3 per card! Man. So much cheaper than spore! spore minimum can only get S$3.50. haha. so jus now was toking to yam wenn. glad to catch up with her. and i'm so glad i called. she din even receive the 2 sms i sent on new year's eve. so catch up with her on frens, sch work, our ctss frens, tell her abt reuben and release of A's...it was a nice chat.a nd i'm glad she took time off to tok to me despite her studying schedule. i hope she will do blasting well for her BT coming up! and i'm so glad and happy to be able to tok to u after so long and wish u a happy CNY! take care! it was so interesting reading zhi wen's blog post on me lah...haha. glad to know and see the other side...hear and see wad he's thinking about. lol. okay. tml visiting aunty xiao ling. and hopefully get the books frm SK and catch up with him a bit? perhaps go running in the morning again? mum jus said a shocking thing ytday. tat there's a plan to go sabah and climb mount KK!!! with dad! i was super shock la! tat we are finally putting this plan into action?! and they are only telling me now?? man! i'd better go and train. scaling that mountain, the highest mountain in msia, is definitely not easy lor. nid alot of stamina. haha. another motivation to go jogging and work-out on top of the std marathon 10km run. haha. man. i hope i'm up to the challenge. but i wonder when i can go jogging when i resume work....with me trying to find a regular QT time, then got BSF starting on 21Feb, plus driving lessons...i hope i'll be able to find regular time for exercise too... well, results may be out soon..nxt week. i'm kinda nervous and scared. to be honest. and well, i wonder wad i'll get. i wonder if i'll end up with no A at all. i wonder if my result slip will write: BBC for my H2s. or if i get an A, i wonder if it'll look lyk this: ABC (wad a 'nice' combo) or ABB....arh...i really dunno. i really dun dare to dream or think. it's pretty scary. but i jus hope tat i wun collapse (emotionally) when i get a result i dun expect. and i hope tat by tat time, i'll be strong enough to stay strong...in God...the One who doesn't change and will never change. putting my security in the Provider God..tat's wad i learnt recently. amen! --------------------------------- Wednesday, February 06, 2008 @ 9:42 am [anticipation]
i'm going off to msia soon! to Port Dickson. will be leaving this afternoon. so if you do not receive any reply back frm me when u wish me happy cny, i'm sorry. i'll wish you again when i'm back on sat k? so pls dun call me too. i will definitely reject yr call and since i dun have caller id, i wun be able to return yr call. and i jus rmb tat i'm playing this Sunday! and guess when is practice? That particular Sunday too! first time doing such a thing!! practise that sunday itself. i think i'm goin to search thru my songs and practise some b4 i leave...i hope things will go smoothly on that day.. i woke up early today though i've taken leave frm work. woke up at 645am. to go....JOGGING! zhi wen was mentioning abt it ytday so it sparked an idea in me. besides, was talkin to khalis and he was mentioning his approx 8km run (WOW!) n so tat made me think abt my aim of std chartered 10km run and how i MUZ train! so it wasn't too bad a jog. 17 mins for 1.6km. i know tat's slow. i used to do better. but hey, i haven't jogged for AGES! so it's not too bad. i hope to improve soon and make jogging/exercising regular. besides, it's good for my lifestyle. it's jus a matter of when i shld jog when i resume work...hmm.... my BSF leader, Geraldine, called me last night! told me that BSF will start on 21Feb, Thu! =)) yay! i was jus wondering why they took so long to call me and if i'm on some waiting list. i'm so looking fwd to start the series on Matthew! start my 7-year journey with BSF. yups! it's a 7-year course. of course it's free but i'll still give offering on a regular basis. Thank God for such ppl who have a vision to start this Bible Study Fellowship and for the in-charge(s) here in Singapore to be willing to take on this responsibility to teach us. And not forgetting, thank God for the provision of a place, though far frm my workplace, but nonetheless, a place for us to worship tgt, study the Bible tgt and have discussions about the various topics and issues. i jus pray tat God will grant me the discipline to do the assignments... hmm. i dunno why i keep mentioning clubbing recently. have i kinda miss it? am i hook onto it? i really dunno. but one thing's sure: though i keep mentionin it, i dun think i'll return there any time soon. perhaps, wad intrigues me is the thrill of thinking of doing something that others think I will never do. and i think tat's stupid. why do something jus to throw others off their feet (in a bad way) instead of doing something tat makes u happy? haha. oh well. nevertheless, it's at the back of my mind. the very first time i went there... packing last-minute for the msia trip is horrible! i'm never going to pack clothes for any trip at the last minute again! i was hands-busy-legs-confused..a chinese saying. and i almost miss out quite a no of things. yee. i'm NEVER going to do last minute packing. i hope i got everything ready and packed in! recently, i bought many dresses! okay. my mum paid for them. and when i say dresses, i really mean dinner kinda dresses. the elegant, different cuttings and styles kind! the other day, mum and i were at Taka shopping then pass by this shop call Daniel Yam. so went in and try quite a no of dresses. and they were really cheap! $29! in the end, we left. but mum jus returned ytday to get that red tube dress. meant to be for sarah. but sarah din want. so it became my dress now! a maroon red dinner dress. nice and pretty. a pity it slipped my mind to take a photo with it... then, the other day at Dano sale, i bought a dinner dress too. brown. spaghetti strap. i think i mentioned it previously. so all in all, i have 5 dinner dresses! the sec 4 prom black tube dress where i played in the band for them, the brown halter neck that khalis bought for christmas, purple korean dress, brown Dano dress and now, the Daniel Yam red dress! plus i can share with my mum her wedding dinner dress! haha. so tat makes 6! well, despite this, i can only wear 2 out casually when meeting frens! and there's only 1 dress tat i can wear to work! so i'm still goin to look fwd to buying more dresses! haha :P finally, so here's wishing all a HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! esp to these ppl who are my closer frens: Khalis, Shu Hui, Yam Wenn, Jia Wen, Zhi Wen, Le Jing, Jeremy, Wei Hao.... --------------------------------- Sunday, February 03, 2008 @ 10:49 pm [reflecting]
actually, i meant to type this ytday but it slipped my mind admist chatting with frens on msn. well, last week, was talkin to my colleagues abt valentine's day. any plans that they may have or wad they usually do (b4 their ns time la). and it was interesting to hear stories frm jia wen! wad his class did. haha. now, i really begin to miss spending V-day in school.. well, to me, V-day is more than jus for couples, but it's also for frens. a get-together-time for frens..renew frenships that are broken or to simply catch up with them. to me, this day has taken on this meaning since JC1. esp for my 1st intake class where we write on balloons and i led my class in a project to sell test tubes during that period. the nxt year, there was flower. sh gave me frm acjc. well, i miss times when i'm forced to be with my frens. now, they are all so scattered, dunno who to call and if i shld call... well, lyk wad i was telling my colleagues when they ask the same qn back to me, i'm both thinkin of/plannin something and waiting for a guy to ask me out. see if there's anyone who will do so and also gotta depend on who tt guy is. well, all in all, i do hope i wun nid to spend V-day nite alone; at home. ha. and pretty cool..Weekend Today papers came up with a few articles on it! movin on, today i baked COOKIES!! yay! super happy! i haven't baked since pri sch! initially, i offered my help to mum but she turned me down. but cos we went shoppin (again) at Dano sale until very late, so she allowed me to help her while she cooked dinner. so i really did everything myself. mix the dough and put them on the tray :) i was so proud of myself. and it really nids alot of strength to mix the dough. okay...the baking isn't exactly the traditional way...i jus pour in the pre-mix powder and other ingredients lyk egg, water and butter, then mix them, then it'll be done! so not lyk wad i did in pri sch where's there egg, flour, water, oil etc. haha. nevertheless, i'm proud of it! and bringing some to office tml! =) okay. today was talking to jeremy. congrats and thank God on his acceptance to Bath Uni, UK. looks lyk you'll be goin back there again. i wonder if u'll return and if i will ever get to see u again...and one of the things he said to me today was, "i noticed you have quite alot of male counterparts". haha. tat was the same tot i'd in mind last night or 2 nights ago. i was thinking why i keep mentionin guys in my blog and seems lyk my circle of closer/more frequently tok to frens are guys. i dunno why. my working environment temp staffs are all guys. my class gals are quite distant to me. sh and yw..they got their stuffs but we do tok sometimes. well, i find that my grp of gal frens are these: hui ming, sh, yw n le jing. these are the 4 that i tok to more often. of cos, not forgettin the chr gals lyk deb, bernice, sab, sam, joyce, elieen...hmm..i wonder wad's up with me and my grp of frens... and jus wanna say tat the video tat khalis puts up (part 1) rocks to the core! the music, the scene transitions, the video clips...well, i jus wish there will be more scenes of him inside! lookin fwd to the nxt one! --------------------------------- Saturday, February 02, 2008 @ 9:38 pm [tired. sore feet]
yesterday, there was cell. the first cell mtg of this year for JPTN. nice. there were many youths. weng fai, jethro, matt, ben, sab, ken, my bro and i. and matthew led in discussion for the first time! and i tell you that the commentary he uses is super duper fantastic! really gave us many insights and discussion points in the passage we analysed. glad weng fai came. and so did jethro. and i'm glad wf din fall aslp and i managed to tok to him more. thanks eleena for the ride home! i'm glad we found a topic to tok on so u'll be kept awake! and wow! evelyn tot of buying a unit at pandan valley! cool! but nxt time wun have evelyn to fetch me home. haha. today, went to the NTU fair at Suntec. meant to be for poly students but i'd to pop by for the civil/environmental engineering tok. but i fell aslp towards the end. not very informative leh. oh well. nevertheless, glad to get some brochures there. but i carelessly took bioengine brochure instead of chem engine!!! super careless. oh well. can take at the for A level students NTU tok. after tat, i was supposed to go shopping alone. at suntec upstairs. but mum told me this morning that she wanna go shopping with me. initially, we were supposed to shop at city hall area but she insisted on goin orchard area. so had to spend money on transport. boo. headed to taka, robinsons, john little. and walked till my legs and feet hurt!! extremely sore cos the slippers i was wearing was in quite a bad shape. so i tried on many dinner dresses. very pretty. but in the end, still din buy. not sure if shld buy or not. there's this red tube-lyk dress. with a ribbon in front. then, another black/red dress tat is spaghetti striped. it looks nice. but not sure if wanna buy too. for karen's wedding dinner. i prefer the spaghetti stipe cos it's something different..a different type from the dresses i have. i have one turtle-neck, halter-neck, tube-lyk...so it's time for something else. well, the tube-lyk dress cost $29 and the spaghetti stripe cost $95. so there's alot of price difference though mum has a $30-40 voucher. anyway, i hope to get one soon! then, continued on walking until i was really exhausted and started throwing tantrums. not lyk a little kid but jus whinning and saying tat i wanna go home. in the end, she gave in and told me to go home first. so i kinda stormed off. but slept very soundly in the bus till i knok my head several times off the bar. oh well. i'm glad i went home first. mum only came back after i'd finish my dinner. imagine if i'd stayed with her!! my feet will ache lyk mad, man!! well, was lookin at the commentary on biblegateway n i wonder where matthew gets such good commentary for cell grp! and i'm glad to catch up with le jing. hope she really gets the job this time round! and i think God is giving me another assignment! i hope..not jus that things will work out the way it shld be..but that i wun miss any opportunity. well, i'm jus glad that i was finally able to say something about it to him jus now! (: God, guide me in this..to have patience and be sensitive to your leading. i noe i haven't been very faithful to you but i've set my heart down to get back to You. and i know my inconsistency can and may lead to me being not sensitive to the Spirit's leading. but Lord, thanks for proving yourself faithful and being with me even when i stray. and Lord, in this mission that you gave me, i pray tat i will be ever-hearing... --------------------------------- |
