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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 @ 9:12 pm hey blog. dunno why i'm feeling rather down now. sigh. maybe i tok to my couple frens. den...u know...sigh. i wish v-day will quickly be over. i hope not to spend it alone though. maybe wid yw n sh!
today was not so bad. went to see my niece! she's so pretty. din cry when po-po or i hold her. yup. held her. she's so light! i couldn't believe it! she has pretty eyes too. took quite a few photos. ate lunch there. watched pirates of the carribean. couldn't catch up cos it was pirated cd n the vol was too soft. couldn't hear much. so din really understand it. the plot, i can get it, n it isn't all tat nice. wanted to go istana but i suggested goin to the park in the evening since they said it was too hot n sunny. thus, we headed home after the visitation. i was down wid flu. tried doing my geog hw. sigh. can't do much. i totally dunno how to do it. it's physical geog! read up. roughly know but can't pen it down. dunno if it's the rite answer. help me!! in the end, we decided to trek to bukit gombak frm the back of my house. however, when we set off, we couldn't find the route! all my family members went there b4 except me. thus, i din help much to find the place. man. it was so bad la. walked among the terrace houses n can't find anything. but saw a lot of terrace houses n how they are designed. n also saw many cars. n jus found out there is a very steep slope up there! almost lyk the NZ one. haha. surprising. after tat, i decided to go joggin wid my dad. on the way outta the terrace houses estate, he suddenly recognises the route! bad. wasted my time. in the end, still decided to go jogging to bukit batok nature park. sigh. jog halfway den walk. keep walking. i'm so weak. tml still got fitness training. oh well. perhaps tat explains why i'm so sad n so tired. i'm totally drained. my msia trip wasn't too bad. tok n grew closer to my handsome cousin, Eric! haha. he's super handsome n cool but i know he's not tat young. i wonder why he has no gf yet. or at least i dun think he has one. can't wait for him to faster marry n get kids den i can be an aunty! actually, i should have been an aunty a long time ago. haha. hope he doesn't see this! stayed in an apartment tat was bought over by my aunt's missionary fren. as the the fren is in china now, the apartment is free for us to use. all the 3 kids slept together in one room. nice. but keep knocking into sarah on the 2nd nite. hmm. got summore details but too tired to tok here. toked to wu yi on msn today. tok abt an interesting topic. glad she's doing well too. n toked to jeremy in UK n the other jeremy in perth. glad to see jeremy on the web cam! conversed too. but not for long la. nvm. at least can see him. --------------------------------- Thursday, January 26, 2006 @ 8:33 pm hi! today, there was a bright n windy evening. the wind was blowing very strongly into my bedroom window. it was perfect. i'm glad i reached home early. so, i sat on my chair facing the open window n embracing the strong wind. then, i couldn't stand it n decided to go downstairs to feel it all while reading God's Word n spending time wid Him. it was nice. chose a different spot; sumthing different n new. sat on a place where i can feel the wind blowing on my left. dun worry, it wasn't a distraction. in fact, it jus brings me back to thanking Him for giving us wind, His creation. n it reminds me of times where i spend by the beaches. yup.
in the early part of my quiet time, while tryin to get use to not getting distracted by the things arnd me, i was an old couple. i had seen them many times already. nth new. they would always take walks arnd tat time n walk arnd the condo together. sumtimes, they would stop on the bridge in front of the waterfall in my condo. but eveytime i looked at them, they ain't holding hands but i can see they're happy. they are very very old. the man looks really haggard. the woman is rather short. both of them can be my grandparents; tat kinda age. den today, while they were goin up a staircase which is within my sight, i saw the husband "holding" out his arm, inviting the wife to hold the hand. initially, i tot it was nth but then, i saw the wife trying to hold the hand. being old, naturally, they missed as they couldn't grasp each other's hands but eventually, they managed to. i'm lucky enuff to see that moment. it was nice. it was a really heart-touching scene. there n then, i told God tat i really hope the man-to-be (if God has it in His plan) would be tat loving to me too. tat he'll still love me tat much even when i turn 50 n become so old n all. the kinda love tat was shared btw tat two couple really touches my heart. it serves as a good reminder to me. not to always look at the outer appearance when the guy is 20 plus 30, but to always imagine him in the 50s n picture if i would still love him tat much---shifts the focus frm physical appearance to inner character. it's the inner character of the person tat will compel love to hold on 20 or 30 yrs down the road. good reminder. thank you Lord. N thanks for the good weather n bright sunlight tat lasted even till 7pm! so i can read the book n spend time talking to You! --------------------------------- Wednesday, January 25, 2006 @ 5:50 pm hi blog. many things happened. okay. firstly, i recalled last time in ctss where class 4C1 did the valent-tube in conjunction wid valentine's day. so i wondered why i din hear any announcements frm any class doin this kinda proj. den a tot struck me "why dun i proposed to my class n we do it? cna bond the class together too!" hey! why not? den i tot of a simpler proj--the selling of helium balloons. wanting to have a rough gauge of how much the helium gas cost, i msg jia min. den, to my horror, she told me tat the council is doing it!! man! i got a big shock! sigh. there goes the idea of doin a simple proj. well, at least the selling of balloons is much simpler than selling of test tubes. so i had no choice but to embark on tat proj. told ma but she initially discouraged me. called lynn n gave my suggestion, she was very happy n excited! wad encouraged me was wei qin's response too! yeah. glad i got supporters who showed they are excited =)
Anyway, did a little draft proposal and send the info to mrs leow, my Class Tutor (CT). so proposed to the class on mon n no one objected. formed the announcement/publicity community. another thing that encouraged me was tat chin ping had done it before. i knew frm jonathan tat some SAS boys did the proj b4 n little did i expect chin ping to be part of it! wow! i was supper happy la. got sumone who can guide me along. after the short discussion, as it was our only break before one whole stretch of lessons, we ate sumthing in the caf. noticing chin ping was sitting alone, aft i'd finished my food, i went over to hear wad he had to say. wow. he guided me alot. he told me to use ketchup holder n told me alot of stuff la. yeah. very happy cos i had never done this b4. ytday, wanted to go submit proposal to principal. as chin ping had history lesson only at 4.15, he joined us (alicia, wei qin n i) to do up the final touch-ups for the proposal. den i requested him to company me to see the principal so tat he can also help me answer sum qns cos he had done it before. he was nice. he came along n he had to tuck in his shirt cos we're entering general office. haha. but u noe wad?? the principal was in a bad mood! i dunno why! stupid. den cannot submit in the proposal la. waste one day. den have to submit in tml. wah. my schedule was pushed back. sigh. jus hate things when they're not on plan. well, things crop up rite? even during our working life. so i guess we muz learn adaptability n flexibility. okay. now, i guess everything's more or less done. jus hope the principal will approve it! today was cross country at mac reservior. din run. walked. wid alicia, wei qin, ansley n yi mei. glad i can tok a little more to ansley n yi mei. i was jus thinking about which gals n guys i'm not close to. here's the list: ming de, ming wei, ze feng, darren, elias, zhuang yan, ansley, yi mei, shi jie n zar. i hope to know them better asap! well, tat's why i'm gald i walked wid ansley n yi mei. sat beside shi jie ytday n she helped me in maths. met darren this morning when i was jus wondering where is the class. as for ming de n ming wei, jus smile n say hi. haven't talked much yet. cannot find stuff. n ze feng. i think the only common topic thus far is his bro, ze chuan, whom i know. as for elias, man, i think i'd better tok more to him in person else it'll feel weird. okay, the day started wid morning worship under a tree. it was nice. cool. reached there, it was pretty dark. one of them brought the guitar n we sang songs n worship god there. it was nice n interesting. yup. can also see the sky change frm dark to the bright light. thank God there was a bright day today! but there was still a part where it was very slippery. played a game as we walked n i was the slowest to guess the trend. sigh. anyway, elias n shawn etc boys came in later than us though they started much earlier than us. haha. they walked. my Loy Fatt house won!! yeah! n Khalid won a medal too! congrats! after tat, we gathered as an og n go J8. my first time there. not too bad la. a bit like west mall, jus slightly bigger but not as big as JP. it was nice. got Life Bookshop there! finally see how The Message version looks like. i still dun like tat version. i think it's very very different. i dun understand why the verses change so much. muz read the preface/introduction part again. din have much time to look arnd cos my og waiting for me outside. over lunch, found out tat guan hoe is a catholic. surprised. n while queueing, met xiong wei n talked a bit more to him. found out he's frm the same class as me in pri 1. no wonder he looks so familiar!! haha. it was nice! aft lunch n a bit of shopping, the canoe guys had to leave. so only a few of us left. went downstairs n rachel looked at earrings n we jus hang arnd. oh ya! they all take so long to decide where to go la. n when we enter one shop, we spent a real alot of time in jus one shop. i din know can shop till lyk tat. usually, i jus go in for only 5-10 mins n walked one round. but i think i walked a few rounds in jus tat one shop. ha. tiring. n we also took neoprint! yeah! 11 of us! nice. $10. wasn't too bad. paid $1. all of us can squeeze in. haha. nice photos. glad we did it. memory. but not the whole og came n join us. yup. anyway, our ogl came wid us. so, aft j8, it's time to meet samantha! met her at raffles n went to her room to get the geog books. wow! security was tight in her dorm. she din exactly stay very very near the campus but relatively close la. got shuttle bus. wow. the room is small la. half of my room. n u sure have to keep the room tidy in order to walk arnd! her room ar, clothes here n there but it's ok la. not very bad. her desk is neat. tat's nice! she pays arnd $400. i sure look forward to staying in the dorm! i hope ma allow! anyway, toked alot throughout the time together. went wid her to the bookshop. went our separate ways there n i looked arnd. later on, met again n she showed me the way to the bus stop. on the way, i learned more abt drivin lessons n learned a hard truth! i can only take the lessons at 21 years old!!! argh! tat's lyk year 2 in uni la! stupid. grr. i tot of getting it fast so i can drive arnd. sigh. anyway, it was nice toking to her again. okay. tat's all i gotta say for now. gtg den. oh! jeremy replied. yeah! told me alot of stuff n advice. n well, his sentence construction in the email is almost perfect. i think the british education is doing a lot of positive influence to him uh? tat's good. dun have all the singlish n bad grammatical error. n he dun use short forms lyk sms typing. haha. okay. jus glad he replied =) oh! n dunno wad's wrong wid "him". dunno why "he" doesn't wanna befriend me again. dunno how to face "him" on 6 feb. wonder if it'll be awkward. wonder if "he" will give me a black face or punch me up or sumthing. totally no idea if i shld say hi or smile or wave or jus simply to avoid being in "his" path. i really wonder why "he" still seems so cold to me though i jus sent a msg ytday to send my regards. sigh. Lord, help me... --------------------------------- Friday, January 20, 2006 @ 8:36 pm hi blog! I noe i haven't blog for 5 days now. rite?? so many things happen! N mind u, I haven't been online on msn for quite sum time already. haha. lyk i said, many things happened. so i think this may be a long entry? i think only.
to begin off, today was the last day Jeremy is in SAJC. this Jeremy is my class's jeremy not my church. though it was a real short time knowing him, but i'm glad i toked to him n know him better b4 he flies off to australia. i really hoped to sent him off at the airport, jus lyk wad i did to the other jeremy. however, the flight time do not permit. his flight is next tue, 9am. today's his day in SAJC cos he din wanna go to sch on mon. i'm glad he stayed till aft PE lesson. cheered us on while we do our 2 rounds. yeah! shook hands. wish him well. it was unbearable. another fren who's leaving to do Foundation Studies. it's tough la. jeremy yeung flew off last dec and now, this jeremy, jeremy lim is flying off. super sad. though it's only 2 frens, but it seems alot. sigh. jeremy also told me he read my blog. haha. i think he read 2 entries back frm this one. Ok. 2nd thing. I met Elias today again!! yeah! i met him the other day while walking to the gallery, waitin for nigel. he told me he's waiting for a fren in history. since nigel is in hist class too, i asked if we can wait together. he told me he's wandering arnd the sch aimlessly. it was the first time i had ever toked to him. so, not wanting to take things too fast, i suggested goin up the staircase i had never been b4 n explore it. he was alright with it n so we toked while goin up. i tot it'll reach a dead end, preferably the entrance to the roof but it was the entrance to the tennis court! finally, i saw how the tennis court looks lyk! 3 nets. nice. big. bright. it's on the highest floor of the sch building. nxt, walked down n hang on the 2nd floor where we can see the canteen frm on top. when there was silence, i try to control myself n not ask so many qns lest i piss him off or rush into things again. sigh. i'm always super excited over making new frens. haha. Today, i met him at a different. i was bored again. aft me, jun jie, jarryl, pamela, yi mei, ansley n another guy play pictionary, i was bored cos there is half hour left to the orientation for Entrepreneur Club. so i decided to hang out at the library. den when putting my bad down, i tot i saw the outline of Elias at a far corner outside the library alone. i saw a guy walking in tat direction den i was jus abt to enter the library tat i realised tat the guy is heading to a stairs behind him. so elias is alone. ha. so i walked over n greeted him. we stood there n look at Shawn n Brandon n another guy play bb. also can roughly see ppl in the caf. at one time, brandon jus happen to look up. he saw me n waved. haha. glad he still recognise me! anyway, it was quite windy n there is a good view! it was nice n relaxin. aft probing elias, i discovered he's waiting for a fren again. haha. to go wid him to the Fitness Club. yup. he din go for orientation but nvm. i explained roughly wad they do tat day n am glad he's joinin tat club. i tot he was an atheltic but he was formerly frm BB. so, once again, we chatted a bit more. he told me more stuff abt himself widout me asking. good. i dun think it's nice to tell here hor. okay. i shall keep it in my heart. but i think he's a good sprinter when i saw him run today during PE. When it was time to go, i walked wid him to the gym. on the way there, he commented tat i have a large network. he's not the first one to say tat. actually, do i really have a large network? i dun think so leh. it's jus tat i rmb alot of ppl's names but tok a bit to them only. dun really noe their character etc. i hope to know more ppl at a deeper level! starting frm my classmates, of course! Ok. so showed him roughly the faces of those guys who turned up for fitness club orientation the other day. glad i had the time to spend wid him =) so many para for the 2nd thing on elias! haha. dun get me wrong man. okay. 3rd thing. is there a third thing? er. went for orientation for entrepreneurship club today, as i mentioned earlier. it wasn't tat nice. once again, i'm the only girl =( But nvm. i got Chai to company me. met him at fitness the other day. talked more to him too! know him slightly better. i dun think i'll join tat club though. i think business is not my type. sigh. okay. 4th thing. i made new frens again. haha. i made 2 new frens jus thru nigel n thru nigel's fren. okay. brandon is nigel's direct fren n slyvester is nigel's indirect fren; brandon's fren. sly is a nice guy. he ask for my name instead of me asking him! tat's nice. hardly see a guy who takes the initiative. i tot i'll jus wait to see if i'll be the one who do the asking or him. haha. know they're frm maris stella. commented on their shirt too. at least we had sumthin to tok abt! haha. i did chem at the same time. can hardly concentrate though. but well, at least it shuts me up n jus makes me listen to their conversation n not givin too many comments. i dun lyk to interupt guys when they are toking. well. tat's 2 new frens! 5th thing. went for maths lecture. wid jeremy lim. jonathan n david was tailing behind me. so when i entered, the ppl who took the econs lessons were already seated. nevertheless, there were still empty seats. so i took a seat beside jeremy who was beside a nan hua guy whom i had never met b4. den while i was settling in n all, the guy behind me said tat i was sitting on another person's seat. but originally, there wasn't anything on the seat to say tat the seat was occupied. but i din wanna n argue n all n decided to jus move out n find another place to sit. but jeremy stretched out his arm n stopped me frm packin up. he then argued saying tat there wasn't an indication n tat anyone can take tat place then. but the guy sitting in the back row said tat he was instructed to watch n reserve tat seat for her. jeremy wanted to argue summore but i stopped him. cos it almost seemed lyk it's goin to explode anytime. so i stopped jeremy n wanted to leave. but jeremy was a nice n good gentleman. he gave up his seat for me n left the seat. he sat alone on the row opp the aisle. i felt quite bad though yet grateful. 6th thing. at the math lecture, i noticed this nan hua guy sitting beside me. so i think the conversation started wid me asking how many nan hua ppl in sajc n where they usually go n abt RV n travelling time etc. den he began to tell me abt him goin for clubbing 0_0 I was totally surprised la! but i din show my shock expression though. i think it gave him the wrong signal that i'm ok wid it but in actual fact, i'm not. anyway, he was tellin me he was given 2 bucks a day n lyk tat, he can still go clubbin where 1 drink is abt 10bucks plus? wah! den he was tellin me abt how he spends the time on a normal sch day in sec 4. ha. slps in sch wan. go home at 1/2am. haha. it was nice. we toked while the lecturer was tokin tho. but i still can understand wad the lesson was abt. dun worry. we toked almost as if we had seen n known each other b4 when in actual fact, it's only the first time we met each other. even till now, i had not seen him yet. throughout our conversation, i dunno his name. only when it was time to leave do i find out his name. towards the end of the lecture/conversation, he told me he was once a christian but now a free thinker. i wanted to go more into it but time din permit n he dun seem lyk he wanna tok abt it either. sad. he told me he's tryin to be anti-social. but i dun think so leh. i can tok quite well wid him though. n when i took out my cal, he was saying tat it was nice. i tot it was a compliment but no. he's trying to tell me tat he also got the same cal as me. both of us bought it jus for the o lvls. n he complimented on the G-tec pen tat i use. ha. he also used the same pen. he was quite surprised to see me use as many dun use tat brand but i had to disappoint him saying tat i only used them during mindmaps n lectures. ha. anyway, he's not bad a guy la. his name is also David. hope to see him arnd some day! n tok to him too! 7th thing. the audition. all went well. in my opinion. the lord gave me calmness tho i was nervous n shaky in the beginnin, as always. 2 parts: interview n audition. SK was one of the first few to be interviewed. n when he came back, i asked him for sum qns they asked n try to prepare a bit. ha. first, there was prayer. my voice was pretty shaky. den they ask abt my christian life n abt me goin to church, born into a christian family etc. den they ask abt my quiet time--how often i do it n wad i usually do. glad i was initially beginnin to grow closer to God n do quiet time. one thing i had learnt frm there n they asked me to tell them of one break thru exprience i had wid God. n also why i choose to join the Live Concert. yup. 2 ppl interviewed me. the guy was nice but the gal wasn't. n i kept repeating the words "Glorify God's name" i can't think of any other words! that's all i can say though. it's one of the reasons why we live here on earth! The audition part was okay. asked me to play 3 songs. Take me deeper, Jesus shall take the highest honour n Shine Jesus Shine. the first song, i guess, is to know roughly how i play. there were 2 ppl singing. i sang along too. n the 2nd song, they want to hear more of my fill-in. but i think i din really fill in alot though. it was all written in the score so i jus tried my best. den for Shine Jesus Shine, they wanna see my rhythm. when it came to my fav part where there is nice rhythm tat uncle henry taught me, i was super happy to show them i know how to play wid tat skill. den suddenly they stop me. so sad. i tot i could play sum more. i was jus beginnin to immerse into the song. anyway, dunno if it's a good thing or a bad one. sigh. okay. all in all, it was not bad. jus pray tat God's will be done. whether i get in or not. the result will be out on Mon!! 8th thing. went to have dinner wid nigel at bukit timah market aft the auditions. nice. called conray n zhen guang to join us but they can't make it. we also called late. so had a good chat. ate food, of course. den went off to our separate ways. Okay. tat's abt all tat i wanna say. 8 things uh? okay. take care n see ya! --------------------------------- Sunday, January 15, 2006 @ 9:44 pm Hey Blog! I noe i haven't blog long here. been getting distracted wid MSN n tokin to ppl so often i dun find time to blog here. Today was the first lesson i had wid the JPTN youths. din teach but jus reflect on wad we had learnt, achieved n our relationship wid the Lord in 2005. when it was Joshua's turn to sepak, he said, "I had learnt tat i'm one yr older, achieved one yr of...(I forgot wad) and my relationship is one yr...(I forgot wad again)" but it had brought all of us to laughter. the usual him. den when he became serious n tell us abt his relationship wid the Lord, he said it's lyk a submarine. all of us became silent n stared at each other wid puzzled faces. haha. den nicholas started talking n acting out wad it means when by "submarine". it actually means the relationship is goin down...so profound! haha. metaphoric. oh! Uncle Clarence also shared today. he said tat last time when he was studyin in the uni, he did quite badly in year 1/2 arnd there. when he realised it, he poured out his heart to God n commit the studies into His hands n ask for his help n strength. n when aunty geak hong looked at a book, she can't understand the fundamental principle etc but when uncle clarence looked at it, he can gain insight frm it. by God's grace. n he got First Class Honours. he told us tat when the results came out n they put in on the notice board, he looked frm the bottom up whereas aunty geak hong looked frm the top down. at the bottom is usually the names of those ppl who fail-third class honours-second class lower-second class upper-first class honours etc. haha. it was a nice testimony all in all. teach us n serve as a reminder to trust in God n depend on Him. N Nathanel came back frm OBS (Mobile) wid bad peeling of his face. it's pretty bad. it shocked me alot. i din noe the face can peel. his arms are red but not peeling (yet). quite surprising! n sarah entered youth today! they had a party for them. all the food again. i went in there aft my JPTN to eat sum too :P n they played games etc. one of the forfeit is to pass a potato chip frm mouth to mouht. wid the potato chip clenched between their teeth. heard tat when Lydia had to pass to Gabriel, she can't stop laughing whenever she looked at Gabriel. haha. n Jessie put on braces. i'm surprised! Jus heard news frm Jeremy. finally he replied. glad he took time off to type an email to me =) He told me he can take A level Maths this yr's summer! surprised!! Thinking abt the collection of O Level cert, it reminds me of one prob. wad do i do when i meet my "him"? Do I greet "him"? wid a smile? should i even tok to "him"? cos it feels rather awkward u know. i feel tat jus looking at "him" frm a far distance may bring back all those memories tat have become painful n i'm not sure if "he" wanna see n tok to me. sigh. my other fren tell me to be myself. but i'm afraid i dunno which is myself at that point in time where i have to make a decision between toking to "him" or not. i dunno wad is the real me. sometimes, at nite n it's time for me to reflect/able to spend sum moments wid the lord, i feel very remorse. cos i hurt a heart... i think it hurts God's heart more. lyk seeing one of his children hurting another of his children's heart. i wish i can go back in time n stop myself frm doing it. it's upsetting... n regarding my prev post, i'm glad one of my frens gave me advice n helped me alot too. my fren told me to tok less abt personal stuff. n wait till i've built a strong frenship den start tokin abt it. cos eventually, a fren is sumone who is there to help encourage us rite? n perhaps tat fren of mine's advice is to tell me not to rush into things. hmm. i quite agree la. i guess i muz learn patience thru this. Lord help me. Finally, CCA. I'm still puzzled. i still dunno wad i shld take up. i think i'm givin up on touch rugby. tot tat either fitness club or entrepreneur club would be nice. met Jing Jing n Hui Hui at IMM today. ask many many qns esp abt CCA n if i shld stay. their advice? not to stay. sigh. really dunno wad to do... hmm.. so many decisions. Lord, pls tell me. n pls tell me if u want me to go SFC. Saints For Christ. tat reminds me! recently, i learnt to trust God in this issue. the Live audition band thing tat SFC organised. they are recruiting players, keyboardist, guitarists, drumers n worship leaders. naturally, i'll want to be a part of it! To use the talent n passion tat God has given me to play in the band! u noe, not being in a mission sch for 4 years, it jus makes me so at home to be in it again now. so i really wanna wanna be part of the band. but i've come to realised tat Josiah n a few others (I suppose) are also goin for the audition. then, the whole struggle begins. i told myself i'd to learn to trust in God. I then went thru several days of commiting n telling Him abt this whole struggle. I really struggeld but i also learnt alot. i rmb tat i read sumwhere tat i shouldn't give God the options, rather, I should let His Will be done as we have always prayed. it's always lyk tat when we pray. we tend to forget the real meanin behind "amen" which means let His Will be done. way, I committed this whole thing into his hands n prayed not tat i'll get thru wid the auditions n make it into the band but for His great plan to work. if i get thru, den i'll give my all to play for Him; worship Him n lead the ppl/congregation into His presence. if i dun, i'll certainly believe tat He has a bigger n better plan for me! a verse came to my mind today while praying abt this matter again: Heb 1:11. "Faith is being sure of wad u hope for n certain of wad u do not see" AMEN! --------------------------------- Wednesday, January 11, 2006 @ 8:46 pm Today, after doin my quiet time, i lay on the sofa n began thinkin: how can i care for a guy widout leading him on? how do i show genuine n brotherly care? a friendship kind of care widout, lyk wad i say, leading him on? how to have tat kinda frenship lyk i had wid yi xian. it was so pure. we were close frens n we had never entered the arena of dating. never toked abt us being together. it was nice to have him as my good fren. it's even more comforting to know tat i can open up to him widout a fear tat i'll be givin him the wrong impression. but how to have this kinda frenship in this new JC? it took 1 year plus to build up the frenship wid yi xian to tat level. can i do the same here? in this new JC where i meet new frens esp the guys? how can i be frens wid them? jus frens. n love n care for them lyk a brother; a brother-in-christ? oh Lord, pls tell me. frens, pls advice me. i really have no idea.
sumtimes, i wonder if i'd given too much hope to xxx or if i'm already on the path to leadin xxx on. i'm really afraid. i dun wanna lose a fren n i dun wanna break another heart. i wanna stop it but...i dunno how. is there sumthing wrong wid my actions? the way i speak? the way i conduct myself? am i giving the person too much attention? but, dun u have to give the person yr attention if u wanna build strong frenship? so then, how do i control it? is it controllable? i dunno Lord, i'm really afraid. afraid of wad will happen. please Lord, guide me in every step i go. warn me when i start to stray. may I always bind yr Word to my heart Lord, so i'll do yr good n pleasin will. help me to control the way i tok to guys n i pray Father, tat they'll see my motive clearly, tat it's only for me to build frenship. n wid christian guys: to care for them lyk u would want me to, lyk a brother, encourage n help each other...... *** Today, was surprised to know Wei Qin n I are in the same class! so i'm not so lonely. i'm pretty surprised! n I'm glad i got the combi i wanted: Physics, Chem, Maths n Geog. I'm thankful to God tat my class is quite chatty esp the gals so i can communicate well wid them. I'm glad tat the class is rather cheerful. Civics Tutor wanted to play ice breaker games or sumthing. but she din think of a game den she gave us a choice of playin the game or chit-chattin. we chose the latter option n we did spend the remainin time toking wid each other n finding out more abt each other. not a bad head-start. i hope to make close frens wid them! n not many of them have chinese names, so it makes it easier for me to rmb. am trying to recall the names. the english names ain't common either but nevertheless, i hope i can rmb all their names asap. I volunteered to the maths rep today. boostful? i hope ppl dun see me lyk tat. it's jus tat i've always been the maths rep since pri sch? i think. n i had told myself early this yr tat i'll volunteer myself to be the rep. i wanna keep the trend goin n i enjoy being the rep. i enjoy collectin worksheets for everyone. at least i have to hold sum responsibility. as i'd said in my prev post (long time ago), i look upon responsibilities as a challenge n a way for me to grow n push myself. i enjoy it cos in the end, it teaches me sumthing. sumthing good will come out of it. i may get scolded if i neglect them, accidentally or not, but still, it's through chaste n rebuke tat one learns their lessons. harsh way to learn indeed but sum ppl, incl me, may jus have to learn it tat way. so no fear! jus do yr best. if i ever get scolded, den i'd better bear them in mind. also, being the maths rep, i hope to communicate more wid the maths lecturer n the maths tutor =) Wanted to go see my new-born niece. sadly, i din see her. but never mind. i think i can see her during the CNY time. i can't wait. she's my 1st niece! haha. welcome to the world baby! I'm sure goin to dote u alot! =) --------------------------------- Tuesday, January 10, 2006 @ 6:09 pm Okay. i told karen i'll blog abt her so here it is. haha. jus let me write down the events tat happen tat mon when i went back to sch...
Okay. went back n went for mornin worship. found out jonathan's bday. comin soon. n wonder wad to buy for him. den jonathan dragged David again. so when he went to toilet, i took the chance to ask David for ideas. he told me explosives, as expected, but later on, he told me to jus give a card. hmm. the mornin worship went by wid singin of one song n prayers. den it's national anthem in the hall. almost couldn't find my OG. Maths lecture n CCA tok. maths lecture was okay. din sit wid any of the 4 i mentioned in my prev blog but it was still nice sittin wid wanyi! lecuturer told us abt the GC...graphic calculator. sigh. so ex-. have to buy somemore. anyway, she taught a bit. surds n real/whole numbers. after tat, during break time, karen asked me if i wanna buy the college tee shirts (the ones wid designs). nope. din want to. den she jus sat down. she looked kinda sad though. disappointed maybe. den i jus turned away. i shouldn't have done tat. really. it was super bad of me. cos i noe she needs company. den a tot struck me. "i should company her. she needs company n frens n u noe, everyone lyks to be arnd frens, incl u. do unto others wad u want them to do u. so go company her sharon!" ok. so i turned arnd n offered to company karen to buy the shirt. it was nice la. at least can tok to her while queuing. while queuing, i looked up n saw josiah. well, the back of josiah. so i remarked to karen n then she started teasin me again. she told me abt her reading my blog. haha. so pai seh. haha. she asked me why i mentioned those 4 names. i also dunno why. lol. anyway, all in all, my willingness to go wid karen did do me sum good. i got to know her better! n jus tok to her on msn n found out more. yeah! happy! *clap clap* she's nice n friendly though she's rather soft. haha. hope to know her better. --------------------------------- Back to School Monday, January 09, 2006 @ 5:07 pm Hey blog! yup. it's back to sch in 2 meanings: 1. lessons has started. back to SAJC n had maths lecture today. almost fall aslp though. but so far it's easy la. all the things she said..surds, rational numbers etc. simple stuff. 2. it means literally; i went back to CTSS!!
here is the story. got a msg frm esther this morning. wow! was happy tat she arranged to go back to CTSS today. n it's good tat we went back today cos many ppl also went back! Met:
Met many teachers too! Mrs Yong, Mrs Chan, Mr Lee, Ms Lim (told her abt me seeing her wid a guy..lol..turns out to be her good fren in sec sch), Mrs Chua, Mr Tan Boon Heng, Mdm Luan n Mr Chng. Mr Lee was nice. i told him abt the graphic calculator thing n he lent me his cal on the spot. said tat since i'm not confirmed if staying in JC or not, jus use his cal first den when things are more settled, den i'll buy one myself. hee. tat's super good. besides, one cal costs lyk 100bucks over. very ex-. sigh. have to get it. no choice. Did much exchange of pri sch frens in each individual's JC wid Zhen Guang. surprised to know many pri sch ppl are in JJC. Esther cut her hair till it's super nice n pretty! many ppl can't recognise her, incl myself, initially. many gave an exclaimed face. haha. surprise surprise! Ok. had a CCA Talk today. man. all the sports CCA got selection test one..incl ODAC. tat makes me very scared la. dunno whether can pass it or not. den gotta train n everything. i hope to go gym soon. maybe jus run a few laps. better start trainin again. besides, my NAPFA in sec sch isn't tat fantastic. Tot of joinin ODAC or Canoeing or worst come to worst, Photography Club. i have a feeling tat i gotta join the Photography Club. Oh! but there's one more CCA: Choir. i can sing wad. everybody who learns music have to know how to sing n i can n should be able to do it but definitely not in the professional style. i wasn't in Choir previously so dunno whether the sch will accept me. sigh. oh well. also dunno whether i shld take canoeing. it's a new CCA. but i know trainin's tough..got a lot of hand/weight lifting. sigh. wonder which CCA i should sign up. so sad no more sailin already. replaced wid Swimmin Club. Wed muz sign up already. oh well! i wonder wad happens if i get into Student Council...quit the CCA i was formerly in? i wonder.... --------------------------------- Sunday, January 08, 2006 @ 6:27 pm hey blog. so piss off now. mum jus set a password for the com n laptop. den nxt time if wanna use them gotta ask them for password. stupid. i wish it dun have to be this way. stupid.
today, it's one of thoes rare times where none of us are obliged to reach church early. so we left the house at 940am but still woke up arnd the same time as every other day. it was raining rather heavily though. even till now. luckily, the white jacket that i had recently kept me rather warm throughout the whole service. so i guess it'll keep me warm tml too! =) when my dad was drivin into the carpark, saw uncle clarence's car. immediately, the tot tat jeremy n jessie are already in church struck me. when suddenly, i was stopped in my tots n reality told me tat jeremy isn't in church. he's in UK. man. so sad. jus dun really lyk reality. sigh. wish he'll come back soon. next yr june/july i hope. hmm. back to sch tml already. lectures n all. i wonder who to sit wid. i mean, jonathan n i go to sch everyday together. i dunno whether i shld sit wid SK they all or sit wid my OG ppl (i wonder if they'll sit wid their own sec sch frens) or sit wid him. i really have no idea since we dun have our classes too. wish we'll get our classes quickly. lyk tat, can make more frens n den can sit wid new ppl. hmm. i really wonder who to sit wid. also wonder if there's a chance to sit wid Josiah or Bennett or Ka Yee or Sharon Lee. also wonder if i shld wait for history lesson to end den go to SAS's chem lab or attend tat history lesson or dun go to SAS's chem lab at all. i really dunno la. hmm. or should i stay in sch n do stuff? do hw or sumthing?? i really have no idea. ha. --------------------------------- Thursday, January 05, 2006 @ 10:37 pm Orientation Day One:
1. disappointing 2. my facilitators ain't tat sure n decisive in ice breakers 3. happy to see my frens though. esp my pri sch frens 4. grp was quiet. sad. took sum time to come out wid cheer. glad i offered the cheer i used in 2E1. glad they used it n modified it 5. got a big shock when i recognise the Zhong Hua badge...familiar...we'd done many of their papers esp geog 6. met jonathan in the morning. took his car. glad tat he was a nice gentleman n opened the door for me Orientation Day Two:
Orientation Day Three:
Orientation Day Four:
ok. tat's all for orientation. the most fun part was Day Four n Day Two n Three where there are games! I jus love games. bond the grp together. n the goin out for food..can see the guys toking more n the disco dance thing. except for the couple, i got to see the wacky side of Sherman n the linking from shoulder to shoulder on slow songs. yup. btw, this is actually blogged on Saturday, 7th January. so fast sch's starting on mon. sigh. oh well! --------------------------------- Sunday, January 01, 2006 @ 3:19 pm hello blog. n hello year 2006!!!! so happy it's the new year! new start! esp in the jc sch. yup. had an interesting start at church. the fuse blew at the switch. so my other pastor preached widout a mic. but it was good. can still hear her. den luckily it blew aft the worship. but the Lord's supper n the offering was silent. haha
made a commitment to God. re-dedicated my life. use me Father n work in my life. Lord, i want u to be my everything n i wanna walk in faith. Heb 11:1 "Faith is sure of wad u hope for n certain of wad u cannot see" Amen. Yeah! so happy! tok to jeremy on the voice conversation thing! haha. heard uncle clarence's n jessie's voice too. but was in a shock to tok to jeremy so din tok much. den bro n i shared a window together to tok to jeremy too. wad's next? went joggin. wanted to go joggin in the park but jus went there for 10mins then it rained. sad. so mum n i went back to home, gym, n jogged there too. hope my arms wun ache tml. actually, there was good weather but i left the house late cos was toking to jonathan. glad i can tok to him again! okay. so once again...welcome new year! --------------------------------- |