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Tuesday, February 28, 2006 @ 5:07 pm hey. sometimes i wonder...
if it's dangerous to open too much to somebody. lyk tell the person too much n involve the person too much in my life. but then again, if i dun do so, tat fren n i wun be good n close frens rite? besides, it is said tat frens are there to help n encourage us on top of company, laughter n joy. so if i dun open up, how can the person encourage me?? n i noe ppl lyk ppl who are honest rite? so if i dun be honest n open up, how can i be tat encourager to another?? true...but wad am i risking when i open too much? wad am i afraid of? i believe the answer is tat when the person n i become close, we may suddenly become too busy wid our own work tat we forgot each other. or rather, dun have time to spend with each other. the memory of those times of sharing will be there but wun it be sad to gaze at the past at those happy times and then look at the present n see tat we're hardly in contact?? wun it be disappointing n upsetting? tat's wad i'm afraid of when i foster close frenship now esp when it goes too fast. n the reason why i have this notion is due to the similiar scenerio explained earlier tat is happening to me now. sumtimes, i wonder if we take it slow n easy, perhaps the frenship will last longer n will be more meaningful. i dunno. puzzled. upset.... anyway, my grp n i went to see mr chia abt the NSF n was told tat the expt we're doing muz be practical n can apply to our lives. tat means, there muz be a conclusion. hmm. guess we'll have to re-think again. but it seems lyk my brain juices are all exhausted n gone. i'm tired. i think it's cos i slept late last nite n had a long n tiring day today. oh well. maths tut n luckily i din get scolded when i go up on the board to write down the answers. but i dunno why ming wei keep getting called. 3 times. lol. n only 7 of us turn up for tut la! teacher marked attendence n when he asked me if ony 7 ppl came to sch today, i dunno if i shld lie or not. if i lie, my frens wun get into trouble but i'll get into trouble wid God (come to think of it) n if i dun lie, my frens will get into trouble. so my options are: yes, no or i can't remember. wad did i choose? the "i can't remember" option. was tat lying? i do think so. scary. but i dunno wad to say nxt time. those ppl who pon lesson today will definitely pon lesson tml. den how? wad am i goin to say?? would i be betraying the "ponners" if i dun lie? would i den be labelled as a "traiter" or a "betrayer"? well, but would/should i please God instead? hmm. reminds me of wad i'd written in my wallet. i guess God isn't getting much pleasure frm my life today though. esp since i'd lied. sigh. but lord, i dunno. i really dunno lord. i'm scared.... okay. was msging throughout the whole day in sch. it was here n there la. sumtimes during tut i dare not msg for fear tat it'll be confiscated. chi lesson wasn't too bad. but was abt to fall aslp. phys was okay. but GP. hmm. i wonder if i really can't work wid her. not tat we have a lot of clashes but sumtimes i find it difficult to understand wad she's saying n her tone--dun really lyk it. but it makes me wonder tat in the outside world, there are many different types of ppl but still, i gotta work wid them. hmm. it's tough. i hope i wun burst out one day. yup. tml goin to study together wid victor. but i wonder if i have much to study n wonder wad time i shld leave. cos he's the kind tat stays back real late but i'm not. i still gotta go home n hopefully play piano n do my qt arnd the time tat i usually do it (abt 6-7pm). dunno. hope he understands. yup. okay. now for my hopes. i hope i get into sports club. i think it'll be super cool to learn the many different sports n expose myself to the wide variety. in addition, i can try out different ones n see which one i'm most comfortable in, the one tat i enjoy most n the one tat brings out my strength. yup. den nxt time if i wanna take a sports cca, i noe where to go! yup. so sports club, take me in!! lol. kk. spoke to bio n phys teacher. so hope i'll make a decision soon n the lord will help me in it! anymore hopes? ya...for jeremy to draw strength frm the lord n find time to tok to Him. glad jeremy replied =) n finally, hope tat my new OG n CG will consists of friendly n outgoin n hardworking ppl n christians too! so we can help each other n encourage each other n work well wid each other. esp for the CG where i'll be wid them for 1plus years till A levels. n hope they wun be so cliquey. sumtimes, thinking abt it is scary yet the bottom line is to turn to the lord n i can only pray. yup. prayer changes all things! remember tat Sharon! --------------------------------- Sunday, February 26, 2006 @ 9:39 pm hello. lyk the new blog skin?? tot of trying something different other than white background. hope it wun give me much trouble when choosing the colour! chenged it after i cldn't make it for the dance comp. sigh. went joggin after changin the skin. nice jog. saw yu fan too! glad to catch up wid him a while. he changed too. a bit. facial feature. dunno why ppl arnd me seems to change n look more pretty/handsome. ha.
anyway, tried toking to victor but it's jus here n there. wish victor will quickly reply my msg. den toked to ken too. also dunno why it's here n there too. n conray. ha. toked to so many ppl. hmm....i wonder wad's wrong wid me. tml got chi spelling. the paper is in front of me. but dun feel lyk studying leh. den, tml is "tut" day where there are many tutorial sessions. chem is so lagging la. den phys prac which we'll mosty prob do phys tut den pam, chen san n i would be bored. wad else? GP, maths..oh! toking abt maths. i wonder wad he'll do tml n whether he'll still throw his temper. i can't do many qns frm tut 2. hmm. i hope i wun get him as my tutor aft 2nd intake. been thinking alot abt whether i shld take phys or bio. if i take bio, it's cos of all the research opportunities tat i can be involved in. if i take phys, it's cos it'll be easier to study n score in a lvl. but, i'll lose out n chances of me getting selected for research programmes is slim. plus, these research prog will help in testimonial n definitely, i'll expose myself n gain more experience in research. so which one shld i take?? today, i was askin deborah n nicholas for help on topics which they had done expt on. deborah gave me a suggestion tat really interests me! but it's really bio but it's really nice to expt on it! nic gave me one tat is okay but i find it hard to get resources?? dunno. cos the whole proj is only for 1 1/2 mths. n joshua la. wanna beat him. ha. he discouraged me by asking why i decided to take part in it. why cannot?? huh...u tell me?! expose myself mah. gain experience. better than u! my dad's flying off to denmark tml nite. i shld have suggested flying off wid him! besides, it's only the first intake n i'll only miss out on those lectures which i feel i can catch up. for almost a week. n dad say denmark till it's very nice cos he'd been there before. also, it's abt 5degrees there. so cool la. winter weather. i had never experienced it before. i wanna go back to cold weather again, jus lyk in NZ. ha. i shld have suggested early. anyway, have a safe trip dad! so bored now...nth to do...no one to tok to...sigh..... --------------------------------- Saturday, February 25, 2006 @ 4:19 pm hey. i'm so piss n upset la. the piano lesson can't be changed. n i was so looking forward to goin to see the dance competition. tot of rushing down after lesson ended. den on the way there, alicia msged me n told me tat SAJC had performed n that it'll prob end soon. in addition, all those who came would be leaving. tat means, if i go then, i got no company. wah! tat's super sad la. man. had to miss it. went all the way to commonwealth stn den turn back n took the same bus back home. fell aslp in the bus although the earphones are plucked into my ear. so bored now la. dun feel lyk doin much. tot of goin jogging but hmm...dunno if i still have the stamina or not. sigh n stupid...
--------------------------------- Friday, February 24, 2006 @ 6:20 pm hey! suppose to blog ytday. so many nice thing happen! actually, it's only one nice thing but it made my day. hmm. did i meet victor? ya. met him to photocopy summore n teach me a bit. den pam n i helped each other to find chem n phys qns frm the books in the library n we photocopied. den, i was suppose to meet sean for lunch la. den when i reach bukit timah, den he msg me n say sorry n he can't make it. wah! i got a big shock la! i reach there den can't make it! den i wanted to go buy macs den go home den tot tat conray withdraw frm sch n told me anytime can call him to meet up for meals. so i gave him a call. yup. luckily he hasn't eaten lunch n so i met wid him. i noe guys are very easy wan n flexible.
so met him n ate lunch at bukit timah market. was surprised tat many stalls are not open then. maybe in the evening den open. anyway, ate n talked. looked thru his photos n suddenly, aft returning his phone, it dropped into his bowl of soup! crap! wet! den u noe, hp not suppose to touch water wan. so hope his phone is okay now. n i found another guy who eats slowly too! yeah! i'm not alone. ha. so we went off to sit at another table to eat ice kachang! $1 n no wonder it is tat price. it's so small la. so little. haha. den he said he's bored so i suggested he come over to my hse n teach me geog den go to my hse gym. had to ask ma n thankfully she allowed. but in the end, he taught me geog, yes. went to the reading room n i studied phys cos today got test on it while he looked thru my phys notes so it wun be hard for him to assimilate into ACJC. yup. but he almost fall asleep la. air con. quietness. comfortable chair. ha. den we chatted while studying so he wun slp. in the end, he din go gym. instead, we played table tennis. good game. din noe he's frm table tennis in pri sch. ha. no wonder he's so pro. lol. played for 1hr. toked abt alot of stuff while we played too. nice. had a great time. den showed him arnd my condo. den he so naughty la. pull my hair n the hair band. he's the only guy who pulls out my entire band n being taller than me, he raised his hand n expected me to reach for it. ha. den i jumped n got hold of it. HAHA. no more tricks guys! showed him the waterfall tat i'm very proud of! the fish pond too. learnt sum stuff frm him. so sent him off at the bus stop. down there also tok abt many stuff. oh ya! cannot forget this! we went to fitness corner n he only did 4 pull-ups. he was quite disappointed. ha. being a canoeist last time, i tot he wld have done at least 10+. ha. bad...better train! well, all in all, ytday was a great time spent! it was wonderful! nice to have company. nxt time muz call more pri sch frens den we all can have fun together! okay. wad else. realised tat really, many ppl are reading my blog. sigh. jessie jus told me she read my blog. victor also tell me tat. ha. i hope i wun offend ppl n hope my opinions n feelings wun affect them either! okay. aft readin tag yea? tot of taking part in the National Science Fair. i tot it'll be challenging cos i had never done this kinda research programme before. so i wonder if i can handle it. so yup. venturing into it. oh ya! muz pray abt it. commit it to the Lord n ask him to give me strength. dun enter a proj widout asking the lord to go before me! victor reminded me too last nite (i think). yup. invited me to attend his city harvest church's event tonight. a speaker who's comin down n speak. a revival conference. i dunno. i saw n hear his online sermons on other topics. i find it a bit charismatic. wad's more, it's a revival conference n he'll speak rather strongly, i suppose. well, i dunno if giving it a miss is my loss but i hope tat if it's the Lord's will, tat hearts will be touched still. but, as for me, i was thinkin i may feel uncomfortable. i think many ppl will speak in tongues. not tat i'm against tongues or anything, it's a gift frm God anyway, but jus feel uncomfortable? to a certain extent. yup. okay. tml, there is a dance competition!! so excited! besides looking at my own SAJC dance society taking part, i also get to see other sch's dancers n their performance. looking forward to a great time of wow. n *ahem* i'm not a les k? i go there not to look at gals but at the art. dance is a form of art n i'm looking forward to appreaciating n enjoying it! today they showed the video n snapshots of the Orientation 1. nice. memories. but quite sad la. my OG not tat united anymore. we hardly tok n meet each other. sigh. i think tat's all i gotta say. yup. see ya! --------------------------------- Wednesday, February 22, 2006 @ 9:27 pm hey. wad a tiring day today. chem prac was quite interesting. finding out the caco3 content in toothpaste. but dunno wad's wrong wid the colgate toothpaste. too much excess HCL when i titrate. hmm. make me n pamela so confused. haha. but gotta thank her alot! helping me in every little way! thanks!
nxt, the movie. was not too bad but we were late. sigh. teacher waiting outside already. n throughout the whole journey, we din even say much la. i tot we'll chat n all n have an interesting topic to tok abt den the journey wld be so much shorter. but it's silence. total silence. so upset la. sigh. the movie wasn't too bad jus tat it was dark when we entered the theatre n so we din sit very high up. sat in front n neck so painful la. bad. but it was a good movie. wasn't too bad. learn alot. learn abt tat vocational training in US. den surprisingly, there was a big shock! "Can all TJC, MI n SAJC students, pls proceed to the auditorium for a lecture demo". wah! I tell you, shawn, elias n myself were staring at each other la! i din noe there was such a thing! but the lecture wasn't too bad la. abt 40 mins. the presenters are better than the sch teachers la! they make it entertaining n so i dun fall asleep. i wish all the lecturers in SAJC are lyk tat too. got a LED light frm them. jus lyk alicia's one. RSAF n omni theatre staff member explain stuff regarding flight n RSAF itself/scholarship. went to walk arnd in sci centre itself since it was free admission. but it was so boring walking alone. so i left not long aft elias n shawn went off. reached home n over dinner, felt so sleepy. luckily, i watched a bit of American Idol4 n chi show den i can wake up. yeah. studied phys. i hope i can attend one mtg for SFC this fri. but wonder wad they're doing! today they did bible study n i miss it. sigh. oh well, hope there is a similar thing on fri! fri got phys test. i'm so ready. haha. goin to photocopy sum more tys qns tml! i hope i'll be able to meet victor n get the book. u noe, i wonder why some ppl lyk to listen to their MP3/radios while wid frens. i wonder wad kinda signal they're giving me. is it lyk "Shut up. i dun wanna hear yr voice!" i really wonder n i always find it rude. rude to listen while wid ppl/talking to ppl. grr. hate it. --------------------------------- Tuesday, February 21, 2006 @ 10:23 pm hey! okay. jus a short one i hope. okay. finally i see Nigel! I'm so happy. okay. dun get me wrong. it's jus tat din see him many times last week den over the weekends den ytday (mon) though it was the start of the sch week but i din see him. sumhow, he was nowhere in sight. den today when i was abt to leave the caf, i stood up n saw him walking in wid his SJI boys! he saw me n waved n me. surprised. i tot he was waving to sumbody else cos usually he hardly acknowledges my presence. he got a new haircut! cool. now i know of 2 boys who got new haircut over the weekends. interesting. okay. tat's one good thing.
the second good thing is tat pamela, chen san n i went to see mr chia n cleared all our doubts abt physics! i'm so so so much clearer now! i think i can do the phys test on fri :P Okay. show off. i'm not so good at phys, always cannot apply the concept so tat's why i'm happy i cleared my doubts. this proves one pt: once i practise n know how to apply my concepts/formulas, i can tackle the qns cos it's the same few formulas tat repeat. yeah. but tat also means i MUZ put in effort to revise n prac after every lecture n tutorial. i'm so ready to take on the nxt challenge! i hope the phys test on fri wun demoralise me!! the third good thing is me meeting Victor n finally able to tok to him. all along, we were jus hi-bye as we meet along the way. hardly get a chance to tok to each other. den while i was at the library borrowing n browsing books, he asked me to go over n sit wid him on the same table. so i accepted n we toked abt alot of things. toked abt his subject combi. F Maths leh! n S paper Physics! so pro! yeah! got another helping hand in phys! =) I got ken to help me in chem but it depends very much on whether he's tired or not. den got khairul who offered to help me in phys but sumtimes, i'm jus afraid he's too busy. den now got victor. but i think most of my seniors are busy la. S paper, involved in NS n music etc. they are all nice. they are all willing to help me despite me pointing out their hectic schedule. i think tat's wad frens are for! thanks pals! or rather, seniors! Okay. so toked alot in the library. was so afraid we'll get caught for toking. den try to use the bluetooth n send stuff over but my phone got hanged twice. scary. den toked abt geog n Times magazine. okay. had better start reading Times now. den we took the MRT home. n so we chatted alot. he's a really nice chap. can really tok. outgoing. reminds me of last time when i first met Ken. it was somewhat like that too. Ken n i toked alot alot...all thru the night during the camp. ha. those were the days.... Okay. Victor's helpful n patient too. i dunno why but i keep havin STM (short-term memory) jus now n he had to repeat wadever he said twice. lol. n photocopied physics qns frm his tys. hope it'll help me in the phys test! okay. tat's all. journey home was 1hr by train. at least the train wasn't crowded today! tat's the third thing. is there a fourth thing?? er. jus going to watch an IMAX show tml! nice. long time haven't go Omni Theatre already. n one tix is $12 n now it's free! i'm sure not goin to miss the chance! n elias will be goin there for the 1st time! hope he'll enjoy it as much as i'd enjoyed it the first time i watched a movie there! okay. got fourth thing. jus rmbed. finally i got geog notes frm the pure geog ppl. hui hui. i'm glad she lent me tat book. looks good n helpful. hope i'll be able to find better understandin of the physical geog concepts! time to catch up sharon! yeah! there's a fifth thing! Finally Jeremy replied! haha. tot he'd forgotten abt me. learnt alot frm him. got into a 7-member committee thing. n he encouraged me to let go n carry on wid life. sigh. let go. carry on wid life. be myself. it's tough la esp everytime i pass clementi n see couples. i muz learn to do so. cannot keep dwelling on the past rite? n muz ask God for strength. yup. pray for me k? christians out there! thanks. okay. tat's abt all i gotta say. getting chased already. take care! --------------------------------- Saturday, February 18, 2006 @ 10:29 pm hey...was pretty upset n low n lonely esp aft piano lesson. cos of wad happen during the carnival. well, the carnival was nice la. really. it was a large scale one. wanted sh to keep me company but it ended up as ley eng. tho she n i ain't tat close but she was real nice to me! kept me company the whole time! n we talked a lot too. glad for the opportunity to tok wid her. it was fun. looking at all the different stalls.
played one game eventually. sam's game stall. it was nice. i played it before in fairfield carnival n got the top price. so i was determined to get the top price again or maybe 2nd. ken was wid me. met him there n asked him to company n help me along too. he gave me a hint. tat water only came out of 5 tubes. he encouraged me too n in the end, i got a mark of water between 3rd n 4th. nathanel, my pri sch fren, was mending the stall. so i begged him to take it as a 3rd level marking n so i got a nail polish for a prize! n sam gave me a rubber ball n a highlighter. rushed off for piano lesson. a real pity. tot of talking to Ken more. saw him at the carnival today. initially, i saw him at the concourse there. wid many of my guy classmates. i got a big shock n decided to avoid him while waiting for sh at the concourse area. met her n we walked off to North Lodge. went to a food stall there as sh wanted to get food. n i couldn't believe it la! so coincidental, he's sitting behind together wid chie yin! i was totally shock when sh suddenly face me n say he's behind. why is it so coincidental?! i wanted to avoid him but why make my path cross his again? i went off. din wanna greet him. but eventually, when i left North Lodge, i decided to tok to him n chie yin. besides, i haven't toked to chie yin for a long time. called out to the both of them but he din respond. only cy responded. we toked. cy n i toked alot. catched up. toked abt results n all. but he. he was super silent. as usual. he din even say a word. i was super upset la. it sure hurt my heart. but i thank God there was this one moment when he looked up n looked at me. i looked at him too but there was this feeling of hurt n pain that pierced thru my being. it was scary n painful. tat was wad made me turn away. n once again, i get to see his smile. i dunno wad he's smiling at. i dun care. as long as i see his smile again. it was beautiful...still as beautiful... u noe, sumtimes i wished i put acjc as first choice. den at least, i could see him more often in the sch. but then again, to see him again would be painful? yes. perhaps. but i'm afraid of losing tat frenship. i dun wanna lose it. acutally, i think i'm losin it already. wid most of our few conversaions as one-way. it's really in a "bad shape". i wished things wun turn out this way. lord, pls grant me patience to wait for him to be ready to tok to me. n lord, pls do a miracle in our lives lord. tat he'll start toking to me again n i'll be more patient n grant us opportunities to meet up/tok again/catch up. after seeing wad happen here. n getting all this kinda tots. i began to think of my frens. n there n then, i felt lyk all my frens are abandoning me. esp my close frens. they all seem very busy wid their work, tat's why they dun/hardly call on me. it's sad. real upsetting. tat's why it seems lyk my whole world is tearing apart. lyk i'm ms lonely. sigh. felt much better jus now but got online n now feel as bad as jus now. sigh. i shld be alright tml. i shld be. it's usually better aft one night's rest.... --------------------------------- Friday, February 17, 2006 @ 5:26 pm Hello! So many nice things happen today!! Hmm. not many but jus came home frm a nice event. was quiet in sch today. i dunno why. din tok a lot though. sigh. anyway, glad wq settled most of the accounts. hope to get all the profits etc frm her nxt week. told wei ling abt the whole gathering we'll be having later. It was a gathering of the humility 6 ppl. Zg, conray, myself n wei ling. was super elated tat she can make it though i told her rather last-minute-ly. but her mum kept calling to ask her details etc. anyway, it was nice to have her company! n kept teasing her abt she n zg. haha. now's my turn gal!
Here's how it's lyk. met wei ling at the caf there den went off. met nigel a while but he's goin back wid his boys to SJI to get the year-book. wei ling n i were walking along the bridge n were chatting happily when suddenly, I heard voices calling/shouting out my name. I turned arnd n saw there was one whole gang of SJI boys walking one row on the bridge! It seems lyk they occupy the whole bridge. Haha. Was super shocked to hear them call out my name. n I noe there are only 3 guys who wld do tat: Nigel, Jeremy n Eugene. It felt so weird…suddenly heard my name being called. Wanted to wait for the SJI guys but wei ling said she doesn't noe most of them so I left first wid her. Den we toked abt how to go home. She told me she takes MRT n bus! I was shocked as I noe there is a direct bus for her to take it back home. So I changed the venue for gathering to King Albert Park Mac's n took a bus which will lead her to her hse. Haha. The journey was 15mins n she had been traveling for 1 hr when she takes the long route! Aiyo. Shld have told her earlier. I thot she knows :P Anyway, met at mac's. ate lunch there. Wanted to make conray the cashier but in the end, we all went down to get our own food. Had a bit of chat. Wei ling was slightly quiet though. Maybe, she's unfamiliar wid the guys. Tat's why. Suddenly, conray exclaimed. I looked up n saw my 2 other SAJC frens! One of them is frm Pei Hwa too! Xiong Wei! Called out to him. Den xiong wei started to tok to conray. We all toked to him too. Conray n xw were laughing n joking down there, reminiscing the old times where xw will always tok to conray. Den conray say tat's how he got into Patience 5. lol. Blame xw. So ate lunch wid us. Wei ling n I can’t finish the drink so in the end, the guys (zg n xw) finished it for us. Haha. Planned for the nxt activity. The guys esp conray kept pointing to me, say I'm the organizer. Wanted to watch movie at causeway pt but wl have to go home early. Saw the video ezy shopped so asked if the guys wanna rent a movie den watch it at conray’s hse. Ok. So in the end, we rented "Scary Movie 3". It's so spoofed la! Jus lyk wad "he" told me last time. So funny. Walked to conray's hse wid me n wl sharing an umbrella n xw n the other guy (John) sharing one. I offered my umbrella to zg n conray but they din wanna take it till at the bukit timah market where the rain poured more heavily. But still, all of us were quite drenched. Scary Movie 3 was slightly scary. Ahha. I screamed slightly n clutched tightly onto the pillow towards the end where the gal sneaked up behind the main character. The guys all turned n looked at me la. So embarrassing. Lol. But I really can't handle scary movies/scenes. Conray commented tat I can't watch "The Ring" either. Haha. Yup. Din watch. Sum parts are also illogical. However, i noticed tat when we laughed alot n very hard, John seems to be quite silent. hmm. i think he felt left out. sad. but i hope tat when nigel came, he felt better n more comfortable. John looks a bit dao. hope he wun dao me in sch! Nigel joined us later. Din get much chance to tok to him though. Thru out the whole week too! Sad. I wished I can tok to him soon lyk on msn?? Hopefully =) Anyway, it was a good time spent together la. Toked n catched up a little. Saw how conray looks lyk after a few yrs now. N was super happy tat wl can see how zg looks lyk else I'll have to take a photo of him to show wl. But anyway, zg, conray n wl will be goin to ACJC together. Most likely so. Hope they’ll maintain gd contact there in ACJC! At least they met up first. kk. tat's abt all I gtg say. Tml got fun-o-rama. A pity I can only go during the morning. Perhaps I shld change the piano timing to morning den I can go for the carnival in the afternoon b4 church band prac? Er. Maybe it's not convenient for Stefanie (tat's my piano teacher's name). hmm. Should I or should I not?? Oh! N wonder if adding a different to each para helps/aids in reading…does it, readers? Pls tag n tell me k? den I noe wad to do =) Cheers! --------------------------------- Thursday, February 16, 2006 @ 8:05 pm hey. i jus realised today that many ppl are looking at my blog. yw, sh, wei qin, alicia n maybe ansley n yi mei jus this time round. so muz be extra careful wid wad i write here esp wid names. so if i'd offended anymore, please tell me n forgive me. n surprisingly, my frens rmb my url very easily. they, or rather, wq kept saying "sharon for christ". it brings back many thoughts... when i had first created this, i was cracking, ok slightly cracking, my brains over wad url to write. i wanted sumthing where ppl will rmb easily, maybe sumthing catchy n maybe sumthing to do wid Christ. den i tot of this. when i had settled on this, i told myself the very reason why i chose this is so i'll be reminded everytime to live for Christ. eventually, this url code was catchy n ppl do rmb n yes, indeed, it has served as a good reminder. however, sumtimes i'm ashamed. i dun use vulgar words etc but sumtimes i do write things tat are not so nice lyk the other time abt the principal being in a bad mood n contradictions in my blog entries. i think tat's human nature. well, we live in a fallen world n i was jus reminded tat we will sin. nobody can be perfect. i can only jus AIM to be holy. for God created us in His image, died on the cross so we can reconcile wid Him n then, i can put on a perfectly holy body when i'm in heaven! yeah! so ya, jus aim to be holy, tat's all.
Okay. many nice things happened today. actually, ytday, i was kinda upset n wondering if i'll regret my choice of sa cos i was jus thinkin of how many frens do i have. den today, i had such a wonderful time wid them!! i can see their care n concern n the fun n laughter we shared together. wad touched me most was...er...actually it's a few things la. First, this morning, Yi Mei suddenly said thank you for showing care for her. i was surprised as i couldn't recall when i had done tat. as she began to retell the story/event tat took place last friday, i was pretty surprised tat she remembered. this goes to show tat little words do make a big difference. to be honest, i have hardly receive word of gratefulness frm ppl our age. not tat i'm expecting one but it's nice to receive one, dun u think? at least u noe tat sumwhere out there, there are nice ppl. i had only received one frm josiah last time n now frm yi mei. it's nice. jus brings smiles to my face. thank you! =) The nxt nice thing tat happens is the balloon thing! met wq, pamela, yi mei n ansley at the balloon booth. they were thinking of getting balloons for each other. i joined in. they invited me, besides, i really wished to write a msg on their balloon! so we each bought one n start fillin it up wid lots n lots of messages. though the helium gas will soon escape n droop (lyk wad's happening now), but it's the tot tat counts. it's a bit weird carryin it arnd in the bus. had the balloon tied on my bag n placed beside in geog lesson. luckily, i din get distracted. it's the first time i carried/have such a balloon. thanks pals! solved many tricks today too. a pity the sc counter is closed. we were looking forward to playin pictionary or taboo!! haha. nxt week guys! or maybe i bring my own pictionary set? how abt tat?? finally, got tut to do. chem tut. din noe there's tut 7 on the redox eqns i'm learning now. finally got work to do! lol. okok. missed work. met wei ling at sc today. din noe she's expecting a letter. haha. i'll try to write to her den. hmm. she wanna see how zg looks lyk. haha. i hope to get his picture den! toked a bit wid her. she wanna go ac. told her my experience of crashing n why i din put ac first choice. jus hope she'll be able to catch up wid all the lectures over in ac n enjoy n learn alot frm there! Hmm. wad's nxt? er. met eleena for lunch. finally we met for lunch. walked arnd aft tat. went to buy newpaper den toked abt the serangoon case. den buy food for the youth. haha. i kept mentionin tat i miss the food n eating. n she kept reminding me tat i'm not the one who's eating. so sad. i wish i was though. lol. picked me n drove me back to sch. a good lunch n meeting up wid her! hope to have it one more time?? din noe last time also got sc where they can play games. nice. she was frm the 15th student council. hmm. hope to find the photo of her when she was young! Learnt stuff frm "Purpose Driven Life". today i learnt abt temptations. it started with "Every temptation is an opportunity to do good". here's wad i learnt: temptation provides the choice. n when u choose to give in, it's sin. it's the same as in the case of Jesus. He was tempted but he never sins cos he never gave in to any of them. also, every time i choose to do instead of sin, i'm growing in the character of Christ. It's such a joy n comfort to hear this! now, i can face my temptations boldly =) cos i certainly do wanna grow to be lyk christ! N wad characters? lyk the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, goodness n self control. character developmet. tat's wad it's called. n chatacter developmetn involves a choice and temptation provides tat opportunity. dun u think tat very often we're tempted to express the exact opposite quality in the circumstance? know the temptation n overcome it. the book gave guidelines, naturally, wid references to the scriptures. n one thing tat rings in my head is to call out for God's help. it's comforting, once again, to know he's always there n listening n helping me. ah-ha! "Temptations keep us dependent upon God" Amen. "everytime i stand up to a temptation, you become more lyk Jesus". yeah yeah. so happy. kk. my favourite verse wid regards to this issue: "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him" James 1:12 One quality tat i'm being moulded to is patience. n i'm still being moulded as long as i'm single. indeed, it's a lesson learnt aft my fall? hmm. you can say so. tat's wad i had learnt last time too. tat God gave us this period of singleness to build christ character n it isn't exactly a time to explore but rather, jus go about yr daily work n stay focus. besides, tat's how Ruth met Boaz n tat's where King David was born where subsequently, Jesus came frm tat line. Ruth was out picking n collecting grains for food n was spotted by Boaz. Okay. sum of u readers may agree n sum may not. wadever the case, i respect yr decision n opinion n hope my expression of opinions wld not affect you or anger you. hee. tat's all i gotta say! cheers n stay happy! --------------------------------- @ 6:18 pm Holy Fire
Holy Fire,
With compassion
Let me see thru Jesus' eyes
Oh Lord make me more like you....
--------------------------------- Wednesday, February 15, 2006 @ 9:46 am Hello Blog! Meant to sent in an entry ytday but was super busy esp discussin wid my mum abt the JAE thing. let me tell u wad happen ytday k?
Went to crash AC. quite cool. met zhen guang at bv stn. den showed him how to walk. n saw shafiqah n greeted weon cheng n ziqi. i forgot to ask ziqi's results n weon cheng's no! lol. anyway, was surprised to see them cos they had been in sch since 7plus in the morning. nevertheless, heard n received alot of advice frm weon cheng. he said he preferred sa over ac. btw, ytday, he crashed sa. i think it's cos he has many church frens there. tat's why. he also said tat he feels neighbourhood sch students are treated as 2nd class in ac. well, no comments. i heard abt this too. i feel tat it depends very much on the class u get. if the ppl are nice n not so cliquey, i think u'll enjoy n love yr stay in ac. tat's why i'm so thankful to God for a nice class in sa! they are such a wonderful ppl n i can jus mix arnd wid them! anyway, brough zg arnd ac to see since he had never been there b4. i brought him touring arnd the sch lyk i'm frm tat sch lyk tat. the thing is tat i'd been to tat sch abt 3 times already. n i'm not part of tat sch. sigh. jus weird. oh well. saw all the LTs n the library n their so-called auditorium which looks lyk a hall wid chairs. it's not even platformed. i think sa's building is nicer. at least we got a 1000-seater auditorium wid platformed seats n the staircases are not as dim as ac's. okay. better not criticise ac too much. later shu hui will scold :P So we walked arnd, saw pui yoke, heard frm her tat ac's lecture style is zooming fast kinda pace. she's goin njc cos she finds the lec style there is slow n steady. good for her. hope she'll excel there. msg joshua. wanted to meet him. den i purposely went to the canteen to look for him but can't find. tot he had left the canteen n msg him again. later on, we met at the track there. nice. at least he treats me better. speak to me in a more serious tone. haha. n din notice that he plays for the ac worship wadever on fri nite. i feel lyk goin there n attend n see how it's lyk! haha. super enthu uh? will ask him abt it later. he walked wid me a while to LT1. met one of his frens n told him i'm a crasher. lol. do tat to purposely spike me wan :P Ok. so i attended the lecture. not bad but couldn't catch up. spotted James n Nathanel! was totally surprised! Nat changed so so so much! i almost couldn't recognise him! luckily he still recognise me but he din exactly recognise zg. james recognise us too but he's a bit dao though. wow. see phpps frens again. haha. the lecture subj was on chem. couldn't understand cos sa haven't taught yet. den a qn came into my mind: den shld i change sch? cos if i do, i'll have to do all the catching up on my own! they wun re-teach. wld i be able to do it? sigh. i wonder... after tat, i rushed to go for the bio lecture. i was hestitating though. called afdhal cos i noe he's in there but no reply. happened to see an acs boy abt to enter. so i stopped him n asked if the teacher take attendance n if i muz sit in classes. he said it's okay n encouraged me to go in. luckily he's there. the door was so difficult to pull open tat i tot it was locked! he sure used alot of strength. thanks! whoever u are! when i entered, i quickly scanned the crowd, trying to spot for afdhal. unlike in sa, many ppl are wearing white tat it makes me hard to spot ctss ppl. finally, seated right at the top of the lec theatre, he is there! waving slightly to me summore. haha. i was super delighted but i can't sit wid him. he got frens on his right n left. den i asked him if i can sit at the row behind him n he said go ahead. toked a bit to him n requested to see the bio notes for a while. his handwriting still hasn't changed. still lyk printing type. when i had more or less settled down, i saw the back of a guy sitted diagonally in front of me. he looked lyk one of my pri sch frens. so i looked at his pants. yup. it's an SJI pants n i think i'm right. so i called out his name. he turned. afdhal also turned. i gave a wide smile n asked if he recognised me. he went lyk "you are...." "sharon, your pri sch fren" "oh hi!" haha. finally he remembered. wanted to tok more but it's lec time la. so i told him i'll toked to him later aft the lec. the bio lec was similar to chem lec. i couldn't understand a single thing. grr. they were doing on the plasma membrane la. but..... anyway, after the lec ended, i was so excited to tok to joshua n afdhal. oh! tat new pri sch fren i'd found, his name is joshua. n he kept encouraging me to go ac so we can taunt afdhal. haha. afdhal have been skipping PE lessons! lol. n josh also agreed tat he din understand the lec n recorded the whole lec in his ipod. wow. if i were him tho, i'll be a good type of recorder n put it at the front desk so i can hear the lecturer's voice loud n clear. okay. a pity they have bio prac aft the lec. if not, i wld love to tok more to joshua! after everything was done, met tim, jason ng, sh n zg again. asked tim n jason for advice. n then, tim, sh, zg n i walked to mrt stn. met yw there den we headed to jp. i'm glad they lyk the gift. nth beats better than seeing tat they find it cute n lyk it. okay. jp was quite boring aft all. nth much to see. entered almost all the shops. sum shops are jus too crowded la. we bought wad we wanted to buy. oh! there's The Island at $9.90 dvd. i feel lyk buying la! frm TS. but dunno whether the quality's good. haha. anyway, it was quite a silent day out on v-day though. not as nice as i had expected it to be. was quite disappointed. sh was quiet. super quiet. they wonder why i tok so much n asked if i feel anything abt v-day. i think they are trying to ask abt me n him but well, i'm fine. i was okay. wasn't maskin any feelings. i'm jus glad tat the 2 of them are willin to go out wid me, if not, i would definitely be upset. staying at home wld be the last thing i wanna do on v-day. i wld definitely go mad thinking abt wad was not meant to be. anyway, during this trip, pop by toys r us. found the board game i had been looking for! the last piece nation-wide! other branches do not have already n this is the last piece in this branch! was super excited. $69.90. expected price. msg ma but she say dun buy. sad. haha. after tat, as we had nth else to do, yw n sh left me. as i was already in boon lay, i told ken the day before n he told me to tell him when i reach jp la. so called him aft they had left n he told me he'll rush over. haha. i was contemplating though. whether i shld stay n wait for him to knock off ns n come over. well, jus wait lor. got yi xian to keep me company on the phone n i stayed cooped up in the Life bookshop looking at the books. now i know why "The Message" (it's a version of the Bible) was written n why it's so different frm NIV. it's written in lay-man's term for easy understanding. ok. no wonder. now i understand more already. finally, ken came up to the 3rd level aft such a long wait. but still, we went to the 1st level to find a place to sit down. den to my horror, we passed by long john's silver n jacelyn spotted me. i was walking beside ken la den had suddenly leave him. wah! was super shocked! i had no choice but to greet the 4 of them. den, as usual, got taunted by them. mad. they kept saying tat ken's my bf but NO! he's not. den yoke hwee la, say tat all 4 of them are singles. at first i cldn't get it but den, i hurriedly added tat i'm a single too. i'm so afraid they'll go arnd telling ppl abt this! argh! esp if he hears it, i think he'll be super mad at me la. man. pls dun go arnd telling, pls dun.... left long john's silver n sat in mac's. haha. ken wanted to go wait for sumone to get off the seat but decided against it den. so finally, my legs got a rest. but dunno why, i was super tired. became the nxt sh n was quiet. i toked very lil tho i was happy to see him again. he asked me why but i cldn't ans. i jus said i was tired. i guess it's aft the long day of walkin in tat boring jp n the trauma of seeing my ctss frens :S sent me off at the stn n he went on to look for his lost green identity card. wonder if he had found it.... went home n discussed alot alot wid my mum. did my devotion/quiet time aft the discussion n before i fill up my form A. passage was on 1 Cor 13. the famous "love" passage. den i wonder, does it mean tat God wants me to go to a place where it is abundant wid love or go to a place where i love or go to a place where i can show his love. haha. i think i was thinking too much. can't jus use one passage to determine tat God is telling me which sch to go rite? anyway, i tot sa kept coming to my mind. hmm. anyway, i jus submitted my application: SA, AC, JJ, PJ, SP n NP. i only use 6 choices though. lol. i think i'll get into SA. i have hope. hmm. okay. all in all, i wish sh is feeling better now. i think she's reading this. are u, sh? so can u tell me if u're feeling better now? n i wonder how he spent his v-day. maybe his parents are still as strict n dun let him go out?? or maybe they went out for dinner. anyway, no pt dwelling on it. i'm glad v-day jus passed widout me feeling upset over this issue. n i was thinking, if zg n i enter the same sch, we will both be in the same educational institutes for 12 years!! imagine! 12yrs. pretty amazing. haha. plus, i always lyk this pt: he n i are born on the same day! haha. i jus love to think abt it. oh! n jamie too! maybe, one day shld meet up wid jamie cos her sch is near mine, i suppose. glad she got a hp now. can tok to her already =) yup. okay. tat's all i gtg say. Happy *belated* Valentine's Day frens! --------------------------------- Sunday, February 12, 2006 @ 10:01 pm To You
here I stand
i am yours
now i...i belong to you
your name, i will lift my hands
I belong to you.... --------------------------------- Friday, February 10, 2006 @ 11:10 pm hi. today i got back my results. if u wanna noe den ask me k? dun think i'll put it here. a bit disappointed cos i expected slightly better. sigh. oh well. jus hope i can go ACJC if it's the Lord's will. den met yw n sh today for lunch. glad the proj is all over. finally. all are done. mr chia is satisfied wid the test tube. n so is mrs leow n ms tan. glad they came down to see us. thanks 06S11 for yr help!! it wouldn't have been a success widout u guys! thank Lord too!
again, it's seeing him. a bit scared la. but luckily i had the guts to approach him in pjc so it isn't tat bad now. toked to him a while when asking abt the results. he did really well!! 8 pts! i couldn't believe it! shocked la. but i still congrat him. i was kinda expecting a good result frm him. it's pretty amazing. an A1 for eng n humanities. pretty amazing. i'm glad he sent over a msg on msn jus now. but aft a while, he stopped toking to me altogether. i think tat will be the last time we'll be toking unless i see him in ACJC. tat is if i get into it. i'm sure he can get into it. sigh. i dun mind seeing him but i jus hope he'll treat me better n not so cold, or so it seems to me. but nevertheless, am glad he toked a bit to me. when i asked him an impt qn, he din reply. sigh. i think i'll never get a reply. these few days, i had been in a dilemna esp since v-day is jus round the corner. often, i wonder if i had done the right thing. cos seeing he n i so awkward n seeing him so hurt. it really hurts me alot alot. dear, do u know tat? sigh. too used to calling u dear. sorry. *ahem* do u know tat? it hurts me alot esp seeing u so hurt. sigh. lord, please show me wad to do. give me help n advice lord. help me to be bold n frank to tell my "mentors" abt this matter. but there is one thing, i think he found sumone whom he liked. cos of his nick. tat's wad i think. i dare not ask him. i'm afraid i can't take the reality. give me time. i hope by then, i'll learn how to pick myself up n get on wid life. i wonder if he reads this blog. maybe he doesn't. but i hope he does. esp this. jus so he knows wad i'm thinking. sumtimes i jus wish so. anyway, had a good time wid sh today after release of o lvl results. toked alot over dinner. rather, aft dinner. told me alot abt acjc so i can make a better choice. had a good time shoppin in bugis junction too! haven't been there for long. n showed her a new type of chain-necklace. n had a good time chatting abt other stuffs. jus she n i. haha. nice. n i'm glad i got a chance to tok to her abt God n Jesus. i'm glad i suggested the sinner's prayer etc. though she din say it on the spot wid me but at least i planted the seed. lord, i planted the seed. may tat seed fall on good soil jus lyk wad is written in the parable, tat it may grow n bear fruits abundantly. continue to use me to touch many lives n bring ppl to u. i pray father tat u grant me open n listening hearts the nxt time i tell it to any of my frens. i noe sh is looking at this now. lol. hello sh! any help, i'm always here! tat's one good thing tat happen today. er. okay. ate in jap restaurant in clementi wid sh n yw. bring back memories. sigh. oh well. had a good lunch. n dinner too! ate in pasta mania! nice. okay. mixed feelings now. disappointment (over my results), upset (over him), happy (over goin out wid sh n proj n his gd score), pressure (many of my sa frens all score 8/9 :S), worried (tat ACJC will reject me again). oh well. we'll see how i am aft tonight! take care peeps. n choose yr sch wisely! oh! Happy Birthday Mum! --------------------------------- Sunday, February 05, 2006 @ 5:14 pm hey blog. i noe i haven't been bloggin for a long time. was pretty busy. ok. here's the summary of wad has happen recently. i'll try to include the date.
1. went to PJC for the open house. met yw n yi xian n dom n sh. was very surprised to see sh! n heard tat jason was more active in acjc. was surprised. surprised khalis too wid a very strange staring. haha. din expect to see each other either. one phrase to describe tat day: good n bad things can happen at the same time. good seeing all those frens; all my close frens. bad is sumthing personal tat i dun think i'll say here. but jus to tell u tat it hurts my heart alot. went to have dinner wid sum ctss ppl to celebrate hong da's bday. was nice. luckily i brought the digi cam so i offered to take photos for him. tok alot to yi xian n yw. glad to catch up wid the 2 of them. finally can give yi xian my present!! Date: 3rd Feb 2. saw my new niece! super light! n small! carried her. big eyes. very pretty gal. gonna love u lots! if i can visit u. haha Date: 31st Jan 3. Still haven't reply jeremy's email. i hope to do it fast. hehe. hopefully today if i can finish my hw. Date: 5th Feb 4. toked to Ken jus now. yeah. glad he recognised my voice. asked him to help me in chem too. yeah. he enlightened me. good. now i can do those remainin chem qns tat i can't do wid confidence! Date: 5th Feb 5. so stress over the proj. glad i got pamela to help me along. din know she's also enthu lyk me. went to see DP n Mr Wong wid me! happy n relieved. after i saw the teacher, i was very very stress cos he gave me several probs. n i had to rush everybody incl myself to buy the materials to get the samples done the nxt day. glad chin pin said one sentence: it's a big proj. tat's why he'll ask many qns. tat at least comforted me. n i spent a few moments wid the Lord n talked to Him abt my probs. He toked to me n comforted me too. Date: 3rd Feb 6. church today was bad. as in, i din play well. dunno wad's wrong wid me. wonder why i din worship God. hmm. gotta changed. n JPTN. er. i hope it'll be a smaller grp though. God, help me to adapt n get used to the new environment. n pls tell me if u want me to go for the mission trip in June. Date: 5th Feb --------------------------------- |