if it's dangerous to open too much to somebody. lyk tell the person too much n involve the person too much in my life.

but then again, if i dun do so, tat fren n i wun be good n close frens rite? besides, it is said tat frens are there to help n encourage us on top of company, laughter n joy. so if i dun open up, how can the person encourage me?? n i noe ppl lyk ppl who are honest rite? so if i dun be honest n open up, how can i be tat encourager to another??

true...but wad am i risking when i open too much? wad am i afraid of?

i believe the answer is tat when the person n i become close, we may suddenly become too busy wid our own work tat we forgot each other. or rather, dun have time to spend with each other. the memory of those times of sharing will be there but wun it be sad to gaze at the past at those happy times and then look at the present n see tat we're hardly in contact?? wun it be disappointing n upsetting? tat's wad i'm afraid of when i foster close frenship now esp when it goes too fast. n the reason why i have this notion is due to the similiar scenerio explained earlier tat is happening to me now. sumtimes, i wonder if we take it slow n easy, perhaps the frenship will last longer n will be more meaningful. i dunno. puzzled. upset....

anyway, my grp n i went to see mr chia abt the NSF n was told tat the expt we're doing muz be practical n can apply to our lives. tat means, there muz be a conclusion. hmm. guess we'll have to re-think again. but it seems lyk my brain juices are all exhausted n gone. i'm tired. i think it's cos i slept late last nite n had a long n tiring day today. oh well.

maths tut n luckily i din get scolded when i go up on the board to write down the answers. but i dunno why ming wei keep getting called. 3 times. lol. n only 7 of us turn up for tut la! teacher marked attendence n when he asked me if ony 7 ppl came to sch today, i dunno if i shld lie or not. if i lie, my frens wun get into trouble but i'll get into trouble wid God (come to think of it) n if i dun lie, my frens will get into trouble. so my options are: yes, no or i can't remember. wad did i choose? the "i can't remember" option. was tat lying? i do think so. scary. but i dunno wad to say nxt time. those ppl who pon lesson today will definitely pon lesson tml. den how? wad am i goin to say?? would i be betraying the "ponners" if i dun lie? would i den be labelled as a "traiter" or a "betrayer"? well, but would/should i please God instead? hmm. reminds me of wad i'd written in my wallet. i guess God isn't getting much pleasure frm my life today though. esp since i'd lied. sigh. but lord, i dunno. i really dunno lord. i'm scared....

okay. was msging throughout the whole day in sch. it was here n there la. sumtimes during tut i dare not msg for fear tat it'll be confiscated. chi lesson wasn't too bad. but was abt to fall aslp. phys was okay. but GP. hmm. i wonder if i really can't work wid her. not tat we have a lot of clashes but sumtimes i find it difficult to understand wad she's saying n her tone--dun really lyk it. but it makes me wonder tat in the outside world, there are many different types of ppl but still, i gotta work wid them. hmm. it's tough. i hope i wun burst out one day. yup.

tml goin to study together wid victor. but i wonder if i have much to study n wonder wad time i shld leave. cos he's the kind tat stays back real late but i'm not. i still gotta go home n hopefully play piano n do my qt arnd the time tat i usually do it (abt 6-7pm). dunno. hope he understands. yup.

okay. now for my hopes. i hope i get into sports club. i think it'll be super cool to learn the many different sports n expose myself to the wide variety. in addition, i can try out different ones n see which one i'm most comfortable in, the one tat i enjoy most n the one tat brings out my strength. yup. den nxt time if i wanna take a sports cca, i noe where to go! yup. so sports club, take me in!! lol. kk. spoke to bio n phys teacher. so hope i'll make a decision soon n the lord will help me in it! anymore hopes? ya...for jeremy to draw strength frm the lord n find time to tok to Him. glad jeremy replied =) n finally, hope tat my new OG n CG will consists of friendly n outgoin n hardworking ppl n christians too! so we can help each other n encourage each other n work well wid each other. esp for the CG where i'll be wid them for 1plus years till A levels. n hope they wun be so cliquey. sumtimes, thinking abt it is scary yet the bottom line is to turn to the lord n i can only pray. yup. prayer changes all things! remember tat Sharon!