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Tuesday, March 28, 2006 @ 11:09 pm hey...today kept seeing him. hmm. not kept seeing but jus here n there. he tried to come out by saying he's going toilet. haha. he msged me which sounded so urgent n worrying. so din say much when he cheated to get out. but nxt time cannot k? toked to him n found out wad's wrong. i'll pray for you..dun worry all right? Pray to God too. keep Him involved in yr activities n find strength n solace in Him! gave him some stuffs at the same time n later on in the day. missed him thru the rest of the day cos he can't call n all. glad his prayer mtg went well =) cheers!
went joggin wid xiao wei n yong hui den got a lot of criticism. ppl say why only run 2 rnds etc. hmph. at least we ran to train stamina n all. so discouragin when u all said tat. *bleah* Anyway, good running. ytday, suddenly realised so many many ppl reading my blog la. when i enter class, the first thing tat jannah said was "how was yr trip in west mall?" wah! got a big shock la. i tot she saw me in west mall but no, she read my blog. den xiao wei nodded in agreement. later on tat day, ruth told me she read my blog. n i know tat alison read my blog long time ago. so is yong hui. but it's pretty scary la. so many reading. muz be careful already esp wid names. but in any case, i hit my purpose of a blog again. is so tat christians frens can read wad's happening in my life n rebuke or encourage or comfort me wid the spiritual advice tat i nid. but of course, i welcome advice frm non-christians. why not? i've received much advice n help frm non-christians too! --------------------------------- Saturday, March 25, 2006 @ 10:54 pm jus a short one. tot of sharing wid u all. was doing my qt jus now n it was on serving God. yup. n the reflection part in my material was to use the talents n gifts for God's glory n not for vainty. so i wanna use my music talent for yr glory Lord! dun wanna be taken in by the compliments. but use them as encouragment! for you O Lord! cheers!
--------------------------------- @ 9:06 pm hey. feeling quite happy today. okay. gotta make this short cos i haven't do my qt yet :S anyway, met victor at west mall jus now. before tat, was having band prac. felt cold towards the end n the tot of entering a mall where there is air con jus made me feel more cold psychology. anyway, when i reached bb, victor jus sent a msg over n tell me tat he hasn't finished. sigh. another time of waiting. haha. tat was the first thing tat came to my mind. but nvm. i really din mind. it was jus a funny tot tat came into my mind.
so i went to the library. actually, i din wanna borrow a book but i jus got attracted to the many titles laid before my eyes. so while browsing thru, i told myself tat if i wanna get a book, i muz get a thin book so i wun take long to finish them. hence, i chanced upon a book tittled "no missing parts". interesting. was abt princesses n all. so tot i'll jus allow myself to be a world of fantasy where romances n princes n all sweet things are present. sometimes, it jus brings u out of this world n into theirs which jus seems so perfect. in any case, i know there will be one such place waiting for me! yeah! but at the lib, i couldn't find any space so i followed one of the ppl n sat down on a floor. man. i was shivering badly. i was super cold la. freezing. was thinking it wld be nice if victor warmed me up. hee. soon, he arrived n gave me a call. as i was in the lib, i din wanna tok very loudly for fear of getting caught. hung up the phone n msg him to meet me outside. ha. was feeling bad for making him go up the escalator only to go down again. anyway, brought him to the shop selling wallets n asked him to choose the design. initially, he wanted me to choose but i insisted on him telling me his preference of the front part of the wallet. as i'd seen the wallets previously, i roughly know which is the best one for him. so bought him the wallet n felt so happy. it is indeed nice to be generous n give someone something. comforting. glad it was of use to him. hmm. the purpose of giving him the wallet: to thank him for everything he has done! yup. thanks! n thank you Lord! went to meet his cell grp frens n ate dinner. finally get to see how vanessa look lyk. elicia and damian was there. it was nice to see them. they are all nice ppl n they dun really mind me there. so friendly. but i dunno why i was quiet. not my usual self. i think it's cos i was scared. i had a bad experience last time wid valeria's frens. n so i was afraid this time round. sigh. now i regret not talking much to them. not being my usual self. i rmb last time when i meet new ppl lyk brandon n sylvester n pam's fren thru my inner circle of frens, i wld talk to the new ppl quite happily. hmm. i wonder wad's wrong wid me meeting new ppl who are not in my sch. shldn't be the case. cannot be lyk tat nxt time. i think the only barrier is dunno wad topic to tok abt. sigh. actually, it's more lyk an excuse. come on, sharon, u noe there are many things to tok abt. their cca, their sch, no of classes, teachers, sch building, subjs, their church...grr...these are the qns u used to ask them to start a conversation *sulk* regret... (sorry i was kinda toking to myself n replying my own qns in this para. i guess it muz have felt weird for u, readers) anyway, he walked me out jus now when i have to return home. was telling him tat i so wished mum din give me a curfew. 830 leh. so early la. i would have loved to stay longer. his frens are so nice! n would love to play tat game wid them summore. but...grr. den when at the bus interchange there, saw ppl boarding the bus. so i tot of running aft it but not wid the big n heavy bag. wanted to go to the other bus stop, so victor n i walked a bit faster. i tot i cld catch it la. but i din. man. the bus moved so fast. so was also a bit worried tat i'll be late n tat i can't go out for dinner nxt time. tat was the punishment my mum set. but victor was nice. he waited wid me for the nxt bus to arrive. toked a bit there n was so tempted to take a taxi home. there was even a silver cab tat was parked in front of me for a while to count money or something. haha. anyway, bus came n reached home on time. yeah. but stupidly, mum's not home la. made me rush home till lyk tat. but my sis took timing. gave mum a call. so here i am. oh! there was another thing tat happened today tat made me so so so happy. i was complimented by my piano teachers! steffanie said i played well. let me off on one piece though i din really expect to. i think i'm still gonna prac that piece n get my notes right. today, i played the 2 expressive pieces expressively! it was such a nice feeling! i flowed wid the music n allowed it to take me thru. er. more lyk "she". let me call the music a she. she was so nice la. i jus allowed my whole body to be massaged by her. let my body move together wid the music. was so nice. so long haven't had tat kinda feeling. it's one of the requirements for the dip exam anyway, body language. so learning learning. but there was this one piece tat i still din play correctly. played so lousily. can't control my left hand. jus uncontrollable. so teacher taught me how to do it. play stacato but it's hard. sigh. tat piece will have to drag on for a while longer. i know. as for the very very nice piece, i jus got a few touch-ups to do. the ornaments part. great! steffanie said she'll listen to it nxt lesson den it's off the file too! yeah! can't wait for tat to be off. den i'll feel a great sense of achievement! finally, i wld be able to master tat piece! i played tat piece expressively too. hmm. expressive is the only word i can think of now. let my feelings be led by the music. rubato n all. but overall tempo was slow. so i sped up n played tat piece for 3 times. but i find if i play the overall tempo faster, it's tough for me to be expressive. hmm. anyway, overall tempo fast isn't too bad. afterall, it's allegretto, which means slightly faster than allegro. anyway, i was complimented by miss koh! i was super happy la! cos last time i went for the audition n she wasn't pleased with my performance. n when i see her after my lesson ended today, she said that i played one piece well. she almost thought that a teacher was playing tat piece! she said i'd improved too! wah! tat was a nice compliment! but it was also a bit too much a compliment! can't take it too seriously. if not i'll be proud n start to slack! muz strive for the better n the best! yeah! =) but she gave me 3 books. have to pay slightly over $100 for them! tat's super ex la! was so upset n so xin tong. the first thing tat came to my mind was i will share the price of the books. probably half. but jus rmb tat i run outta cash. grr. but still, i'll pay. can't have my parents paying them for me. n guess i'll jus have to work soon. perhaps i'll work at kumon. since they are advitising ppl to send their kids to the tuition centre, i'll jus volunteer myself to be markers. sigh. tat means extra work n less time to tok to frens n do own stuff. but wad to do? i really nid the money desperately. my piano fees are heavy. dip lessons plus the theory lessons that are goin to start soon! $100. grr. oh well. hope i can find a job soon! --------------------------------- Wednesday, March 22, 2006 @ 10:50 pm hey. many things happened. firstly, on tue, there was one free hour before the chem lecture, so i asked the class to sit together n chat or sumthing. wanted to go caf but it was too crowded. so we went to the gallery. but when we went there, tot the ppl will jus tok among ourselves but we din. still in cloques n pairs which i dun really lyk to see yet. so i discussed wid ruth, jannah, alison n xiao wei of various games. so in the end, during that one hour, we played several games. double wacko. the tapping hand games (which made our backs hurt) n the psyho game (played only 2 rnds). but nevertheless, i'm very very happy tat we know each other names n we were more bonded aft tat on tat day. n we began to sit together during breaks on tue. though it was separated. cos we cldn't find a table big enuff for all of us? or it jus so happen to split. was wid victor in the cc for a while b4 joinin them for lunch. yup.
today was much much better. dun nid to play games to break ice already. we tried to sit together during one of the early mornin lectures but can't. once again, there ain't enuff space. yes. it was maths. so sat beside yong hui n he started complainin abt me being too formal. haha. am i? i jus lyk to say please n thank you. it's polite wad. isn't it? but during phys lecture, we were made to sit together. but ruth, alison, darren n jordan sat on another side of the row. sad. nvm. the nxt time they sat wid us. during break, during the geog lesson break, i was super happy la! my class sat together again. this time, we found a table big n n long enuff. met victor first n couldn't find him in the lib. had to msg him. aft which, we went downstairs n he joined my class to eat. it was nice. he can cliqued well wid my classmates. tat's good. but i got alot of tease. tat's bad. i'm telling u, i'm definitely not dating him now. yup. so no more tease k? please? thanks! after tat, went to join the former s11 ppl at the band table. at first, they din want me n victor to go over wan but i insist. let wei qin copy the geog notes n play Bimbo which also means Bingo. nice game. chin pin jus learnt it. n alicia wrote in her blog tat victor was a non-s11er. ahha. tat's weird but i tot he was kinda a part of us cos he kept playing games wid us. pictionary too. but we were all very tired n got a bit bored of tat game. ended up toking abt yi mei's handwriting. indeed, her handwriting is interesting. esp the "w". okay. presentation skills workshop was good. interesting way of learning stuff. n though i was emcee for many events, i was still nervous n heart thumpin mad before i went up. grr. n went home wid vic n xiao wei. nice chat. but was quite sleepy. was quite worried when vic fell sick n feel giddy n all. hope he's okay now n that feeling wun come back. anyway, it was a nice evening. tat's all. jus tat many things have been goin on in my mind. waiting. qns. temptations. confused or rather contradiction within myself. it's jus the old saying tat i've been telling myself: the mind is willing but the heart is not. it's so difficult to control yrself. sumtimes, i jus feel tired n tot of jus letting the whole thing jus engulfed me n do wad my heart says. dun care wad the consequences will be. dun care wad God will say. dun care. jus dun care. i'm tired. i'm really tired of being tempted time n again. i nid rest. i think i nid a break. yet, my heart doesn't want it. yet, i fear it'll send out a wrong msg tat i'm dao-ing. tat's kinda bad. but i dunno. i'm jus tired. sigh. lord, help me. pls tell me wad's the rite thing to do.... --------------------------------- Monday, March 20, 2006 @ 8:55 pm hey! jus pressurize him. or shld i say motivate? or support jus as he had requested? yup yup. along tat line. but it was kinda uncomfortable. cos i was talkin to him as if i'm talkin to sumone of my age. he's older than me n so me talkin wid tat tone sounds a bit wrong. nevertheless, tat's wad he wanted. n besides, tat's wad he needs. but it's all up to him to decide if he wanna listen to wad i say. after all, his mind can always rebut saying tat i'm younger than him n have no right to tell him wad to do. *shrug* nvm. when it's needed, i'll say it to him, regardless of how old he is. haha. so watch out! my tone may be a bit firm though. for yr good yea? hehe. n yup. hope i'll get used to all this talking n encouraging in this manner soon!
met shirley. was happy to see her else i'll have to call/msg her. was asking her which class she's in. hmm. 06s09. not far frm mine! tat's good! den most prob she n i will be in the same house. so i hurriedly tell her wad victor told me. abt the alliance n all to get elected into hse council. she n i wants to go in. n she gladly n readily accept it. great! hope we'll be in the same house den we can support each other n "promote" each other within our own circle of frens. really hope to get into house council! n sports club too! but...there is always this little fear in me. having gone thru disappointments n rejections frm acjc during jae n the rejection frm the pre-u seminar which i so badly wanted to join plus the very recent one on the National Science Fair in which my grp's proj was rejected..i was afraid tat history will repeat itself... Okay. gave victor a small gift which i prepared. n i din manage to find the verse to write it down before i see him early in the morning. so only checked it out in the library during my break n hurriedly write it down before handling it over to him. n showed him Joshua 1:9. it was the verse tat i carried wid me thruout last year. showed him using the bible in the library. n he asked this qn: so did the verse helped? hmm. i couldn't answer. cos in my mind, all that i rmb of last year was wid my ex. it was lyk honeymoon? all the months passed very fast esp when i was wid him. tat's why it was the only impression i'd of last year. n in the process, i'd also lost touch n contact wid God which was very very bad. i learnt my lesson. n aft the break, i went back to God n felt a great change! it was totally awesome to be back on track n wid God again! n so now, i treasure all the time i'd wid Him. tat were the only 2 things tat i rmb abt last year. n this made me feel very regretful n guilty. i din exactly let the verse speak to me thruout the year. yes, i memorised it n rmb the reference clearly but...well, was reflecting on it jus now. well, it did speak to me a little. helped me calm down before every paper. it was a promise to be claimed! n yes, it did help. but majority of the year? sigh....oh well. it's over. jus hope tat i'll bear in my mind n in my heart the verse tat the Lord has given me in Romans 8:28-29. yes Lord, i want to claim on yr promise n draw strength frm you always! n never be afraid cos i know tat this life of your child here is n will be safe in your arms forever! Was at the canteen n sitting wid the former s11 ppl. was so happy to see them! yeah! had a great catch up n i felt so welcomed n comfortable wid them! missed them lotz! n then, they spotted an eye-candy. a j2. the gals were talking abt it n trying to act calm n all. but obviously they can't. he was not bad looking la. they spotted the right guy. but i was jus shrugging the whole tot off. when i asked them whose eye-candy it was, one of them said it's everybody's eye candy. den i was lyk, "no, it's not mine" den one of them teased me n asked if victor was my eye-candy. er...seriously, i never believe nor talked abt eye candy n stuff lyk tat. hmm. call me a gal?? :P haha. it's jus tat i dun lyk to spot guys base on wad they look lyk on the outside. it'll only begins when i start toking to him n know him better n formed a frenship wid him. there's no point when the guy is handsome but the character is not tat good. i certainly dun wanna be frens wid him much less spot him wid those eyes :P No offence to those who do eye-candying! today, pon maths gc lecture. go n study wid victor. hmm. i dun have much to study but nvm. sat down in the classroom n read my time mag. a good way to discipline myself to read the mag! surprisingly, i was interested in tat article. as in the time i spent sitting down there jus disciplined me such tat i'd no choice but to be interested in the article in front of me in order for time to pass fast. yup. good good. good for him n good for me! =) toady all the lectures are boring. esp GP. the teacher down there on my left la. keep looking arnd n staring at the students. scary la. den cannot tok to praveen n jordan who are sitting beside me. den have to resort to the pri sch way of toking by writing messages on the paper. sigh. pathetic. but interesting. n toked to praveen a bit too. today, at gp, sat on the same row wid sufi, danilah, praveen, jordan n kamalesh. nice. but a bit weird. i was hoping to sit wid the gals. today, toked to several ppl. at least now i can match face wid name. been staring at the names in my contact list but can't find out how the face look lyk. toked to yong hui, jordan, praveen (of course, my partner cg rep!), danilah, ruth (she's real friendly la. toked a while. cos on fri we toked a bit too. n this morning while queing up too), ming xian (finally noe how he looked lyk. he certainly do look lyk his dad n he's tall!), sufi, kevin, desmond (match face wid name only), joshua, kuan wei (tell u later how i met him!), shoban (one of them has asked me how he looked lyk. ha. so finally recognise his face), jannah (she's such a sweet gal! can tok n clique. she's nice!), weng san (finally match face wid name. or can i still rmb his face? lol), xiao wei, kamalesh. ya. tat's abt all. i noe there are many guy names but i'm not a flirt. definitely not. it's jus tat my class got many guys la. only 7 gals. but in any case, i wanna noe the gals more!! i hope to sit wid them tml during lectures or anything lyk tat. yup yup. din raise the suggestion tat i'd been thinking abt during the hols. will do it tml. okay. abt kaun wei. was telling jordan abt it. aft i went downstairs to pass ansley the new timetable n the gift, on my way up the stairs, suddenly, a guy wid 2 other guys behind him stop in his tracks. i was shocked n felt a bit freaky. lyk he purposely stopped in front of me. so i wanted to run up the remaining flight of stairs when he stretched out his hand a bit n looked at me. i stared n squint my eyes n then i asked if he was kuan wei. yes. he was. n relief flooded over me (haha. so eng rite?). i tot wad will happen la. so freaky. haha. den he din even identify himself. he wasn't carryin a brown bag then n i forgot to notice any of my classmates who carry a brown bag. n besides, i was tokin to him on msn last nite n he can't show me any photo of his. so i really can't match face to name den. passed n showed him my maths notes. yup. tat's all. interesting encounter. n this further eradicate my point tat i believe guys shld make the first move. lyk in this case la. kuan wei din even identify himself which freak me out. haha. tat was the qn victor asked me jus now. whether i prefer guys to make the first move. haha. yes! okay. tat's abt all i have to say. glad his gp n phys paper was alright today. he said he can score A for phys. tat's good! keep up the good work n confidence! n all the best for the remaining papers! conc ar! --------------------------------- Sunday, March 19, 2006 @ 4:19 pm hey blog. i noe i haven't been bloggin for lyk 1 week?? i'm not sure. been goin out n goin crazy. haha. went out frm mon-wed. mon go catch a movie wid victor? ya..shaggy dog den go n study together..but ended up toking. but glad for the time of sharing!! really appreciate tat moment.went out to eat dinner tat day. took a set dinner n got kinda cheated due to the picture. wanted to pay him back but he din wanna accept it. anyway, it was a good time spent. went kino-wadever bookshop n got stuffs.was telling him abt the moon on the rooftop. sweet memory. okay.
tue wanted to go out wid s11 wan. den when i was abt to leave the hse, alicia msg me n tell me it's cancelled. luckily, she msged me in time but was quite sad n disappointed. den went to meet victor to study again. n tis time, i made it a point to ensure he studies. i dun have much to study. jus ask him several maths qns n it's over! but for him, there's much to cover. plus, the day before, we din cover much. so i insisted tat we study. it was rather weird n i almost got a headache. had to control myself not to tok to him. tough. but had to. else he'll not be prepared for his BT. anyway, it was good time spent once again. er. went to watch him have his dinner too. while i jus sat there staring n toking. haha. my mum la. din let me go out n have dinner. hmph. she almost locked me outside too! grr. luckily i got key. so it's not possible for her to lock me out. wed went out wid yw n sh. sigh. it was boring. we concluded it's because orchard itself is boring. so it made our spirits low. i wonder where to go nxt time...we have been out together so many times n to so many places. i really wonder where. suggested sh's hse. perhaps so can, sh? but also dunno why we din tok much. got alot of empty spaces in between. but ate in swensons. haha. owed yw money. bad me. yikes! tat reminds me i'm goin to be tight cash soon :S better start packing sandwiches for lunch in sch!! lol. okay. anyway, on the way back, toked a bit to yw. lyk can tok more leh. hmm. strange. i can also tok alot to sh. but why when 3 ppl are together, lyk can't tok much. but when toked to each one individually, i can tok more to them. hmm. in any case, i'm happy to meet them. yup. glad to see them b4 i leave for msia. oh yes. went to church camp n jus came back ytday. victor was supposed to send me off wan. he said he wanted to but he overslept n his hp got prob n so i can't contact him. n yikes. tat made him real guilty n made him very distracted. i feel very guilty myself too. sigh. oh well. the church camp was good! by the beach again. so there's sea n waves n sunrise n sunset. the sun din set over the sea but i managed to do my qt while it was setting behind my back. my front was facing the sea. it was a quiet n enjoyable time spent. it's sumthing tat i wun experience in singapore. only can hear sound of swimming pool. haha. woke up at 6.10am on the 3rd day! i'm so proud of it! being one who doesn't wake up early, when i managed to do it, i was super happy n proud of myself! so aunty daisy, aunty magdalene, le jing n i went out of our rooms n reacht he beach at arnd 6.40am. i was so afraid i can't go as eleena said i cannot go down alone so early in the morning. it wasn't safe. so glad that i got the adults for company. n so i watched how the shore gets brighten up. a new day. sat on the rocks. le jing n i. er. we're no les ar. din tok much, jus enjoy the scenery before us. but it was slightly cloudy. sigh. so can't see the sun in it's full n entire shape. anyway, can see it's "glory". no. i would rather say, see God's creation. the rays are lyk God's glory shinning down. n the scene in front of me seems to be lyk those scenery pictures i'd seen. it's pretty amazing tat i can see it for myself.... went canoeing on the 1st day. there were rough waves. bad. it was 3 plus but still there are rough waves. sigh. was so afraid i'll capsized. but when i had jus began to canoe, the first waves crashed. i was sitting in front n so got all wet! n when i went to shower aft canoeing, the shower room was so filled wid sand. ha. aft canoeing, lj n i sat down by the beach too. near the waves. as we were all wet, it doesn't matter if the waves that crash onto the sand sweep over us. but had to go off as i'd got some cuts while we were canoeing back to shore. we were canoeing aimlessly too. there are no islands nearby. but we toked alot. lj shared alot too. was real happy. it marks the beginnin of a non-superficial frenship. yup. i shared wid her too on our way back! i'm glad i finally had the courage to open up. thank you lord n thanks victor. it's cos of all the pressure tat he ask me to share tat i'm so willing to tok now. yup. n his wanting to grow closer to his cell members also encouraged me to grow closer to mine =) anyway, the messages were nice. good. touching. inspiring. motivatin. encouraging. yup. pastor timothy phua. good speaker. heard him speak before. n he told us tat he'll only speak in one retreat in one year. so really thankful tat he chose to speak at our retreat. the messages had indeed touched many hearts esp eleena's. toked on david, jacob, nehemiah n moses. learnt much frm jacob n nehemiah. shared wid the campers too. n i led worship on one of the days. on the last day morning. been playing for every worship session. n no. i din play n lead worship, not at the stage lyk don moen. but kah hwee n eleena played. n the stupid mic din work. so had a hard time singing out loud n encouraging the ppl. u noe, those kinda words said in between songs. yup. anyway, it was a good experience. my 2nd time. finally replied jeremy. he sent me an email on the day before i left for the trip. i wanted to send him an email tat day too. but din have time. sigh. oh well. met victor ytday. aft his cell. wow! wad a surprise frm him! a flower n a gift. it's so wow! but made me feel guilty. sigh. i really wonder if it's cos my sms before i left tat made him feel guilty. plus, it had distracted him alot such tat he can't conc on his revision. plus, he sent quite a number of time n money on choosing n buying them. n it jus makes me feel so bad la. i dunno...grr...i noe he doesn't want me to feel tat way but i jus do. not used to ppl showering me wid so much concern n gifts. besides, i hardly receive these frm my family. wad's more frm a fren. so it's touching. !~THANK YOU VICTOR~! he came over to my hse n have dinner. mum ask him so many qns again. hmph. n he did a treasure hunt wid me. haha. now he noe my room better than i do. lol. n played a song on the guitar wid the piano. nice. i sang too. n did much catch up. sent him off n he missed one bus. shared wid me stuff? yes? no? i've forgotten. too hungry to rmb now. he wanted to miss the nxt one but it was too late. yes. it was too late. so he left off. ya. but it was nice to see him again =) glad i cld see him but my mum again. dun let me eat dinner outside. stupid. anyway, sch's starting tml. jus msg praveen abt my intention n asked for his help. also chat wid him n noe him better. din noe he's a dsa student in hockey. so he muz have known sylvia too! haven't ask him abt it. but i'm glad i tok to him n chat wid him. so know him better. better noe my partner class rep since i'll be working wid him. one interesting fact: he's a catholic! cool. okay. so lord, grant me faith, courage n wisdom for tomorrow! =) --------------------------------- Friday, March 10, 2006 @ 10:29 am now, i'm at the sch library using the sch com to type this out. n jus saw which class i'm in. well, initially, i was rather upset. as it was very pushy n messy jus now, i din really see clearly but saw my name n ansley's name. only she n i are in the same class!!! i wonder how many christians are there. i hope it's a significant number so we all can work to together, reach out together, encourage each other n help each other spiritually. it'll be nice! n i wonder if there are musicians. perhaps one drummer, one guitarist, one bass guitarist n one vocalist wld be nice. den we can form a band. n victor wld volunteer himself to be the violinist. den maybe wid this band formed, we can take part in sum christian activities etc. ha. okok. i think too much. gotta go see my new class first then say. sigh.
toked to victor abt stuffs n well, all tat i ask is tat i'll enter the new class later wid an open mind. n i was reminded of wad eleena said last time when i told her i was slightly unwilling to enter sajc for the 1st 3mths. she also ask me to enter wid an open mind. only then, cld i enjoy myself n feel comfortable.
okay. yesterday was the finale. so sad n disappointing la. okay. not VERY but slightly. cos there were no disco lights. n the singing sessions were short. plus, i heard tat the budget was $900. so stingy la. the first orientation's budget was $2500 n now becoming so little. it's no wonder there were no disco lights. n u noe wad they use?? OHP. they use the OHP lights la. n jus shine here n there. tat's so crazy. shine at me summore. ha. but anyway, took an og photo at the finale session. nice. hope the photo turned out well. ytday was also games. not many of them in the sun. but i think i still got a bit of burn last nite. hmm. after tat, went out to eat wid my og. contacted victor n he tagged along. toked more to alfred. he's quite crapy wan n lyk to cover up his mistakes. ego guy. n i kept suggesting foodcourt n he kept teasing me. initially, they wanted to go to a restaurant lyk pasta mania. i'm fine but jus tat it's a bit too ex. since there's a cheaper choice lyk foodcourt, why not go. well, in the end, we went BK. it was nice. but had to eat wid much caution. n i can't believe the barley drink cost $2!! it's so ex! haha. at least i still rmb to order my drinks widout ice. yup. had a good talk n interaction. jus tat we were kinda split into 2 grps. shirley hit off the topic of church. made han ming n wan yi feel a bit left out. esp han ming who kept very quiet. we were toking abt city harvest too cos tat's where rayson went. n shirley was encouraging him to go to her church coming sun cos rayson backslided. n u noe wad church she's attending?? Calvary Baptist Church!! i was so shocked n surprised! heard alot abt them n i know my church n tat church are close. combine youth camps are wid them. so i asked if she has heard abt my church but she din. she jus joined this yr. n even though she'd jus joined this yr, she toked so much abt it n sayin how nice the ppl were. this shows tat the church is really a church. a welcoming n caring one. yeah! den at 9.20pm, victor n i left the place first. i had to go off as my place is far n mum will surely scold me if i din reach home early. den ppl tease us again la. n victor was kinda unwilling to leave. ha. n it's pretty amazing how he rmb all my fren's name in such a short time. went down n looked at trumpet praise before it closes. no new cds n not many new books. but there's one thing i realised, there are many books written on dating, love, marriage, sex etc. hmm. is our society becoming worse?? are our christians losing the roots tat was suppose to be deeply planted in God's Word?? it tempting to buy these books n see wad the author has to say but i think i'd enough of reading on this issue. perhaps i shld try on relationship wid God. well, in any case, i hope to read max lucado books again. i miss his books! he's such a good writer la. saw one tat is $15.90 which is an okay for my budget but the book's thin n hard cover. hmm. so perhaps i'm paying more for the cover? oh well. will think hard again. n down there victor showed me how his future violin will look lyk cos there's a picture of her (winter) there. nice. white violin. pretty. so went home n stupidly, there isn't a car to fetch me. den it's so scary at the bukit batok interchange. had to wait 15mins for the bus. many guys. more indians n malays there. so it freaked me out. the chinese there also dressed a bit shabbily. luckily victor toked to me on phone so the waiting time shortens by alot. wad's nxt? oh yes! n pa left his hp in the car! he went for council mtg widout his hp n he din realised it was in the car untill he'd reached the carpark at my hse. wah! he... if not after council mtg, if i hadn't boarded the mtg n if he'd checked the hp when he enter the car, he can come n fetch me la. sigh. oh well. all's over. was quite tired last nite. oh! my throat's much better now! i mean since ytday. yeah! finally. jus tat there is still alot of phlegm in my throat n i still have block nose. but well, at least part of my voice came back which is good! i hope i'll be able to communicate wid my new cg later n hope they wun find me dao. chin pin was telling me tat last time. he had sore throat for the first orientation n so he was quiet. den he said tat he ppl tot he was dao. scary.
--------------------------------- Wednesday, March 08, 2006 @ 8:53 pm I CAN'T BELIVE I GOT SUNBURN frm today's orientation!!! wad was i doing?? walking arnd wid my og along the track? playing games? come to think of it, all the games are outdoor in the sun n none of them are in the shelter lyk outside SC or sumthing? hmm...no wonder i got a tan! i tot i'll only get tat when i swim under hot weather or when i went for OBS last time but now n this?! haha. jus surprises me when i first looked into the mirror before shower. took a closer look n exclaimed! but it's not too bad. red at my nose n cheeks. looks kinda nice though. ha. jus hope it wun be so bad till it peels!
saw xiong wei n his frens at the bus stop. greeted him n naturally, his frens ask who i am. wid my ear phones plugged into my ears, i din hear much but roughly make out wad they were saying wid the way their mouth moves. fell aslp in the bus too. den when it was my turn to alight, found out tat one of his frens alighted at the same bus stop as me n crossed the road to transfer bus. wanted to greet him but tot of leaving him alone. walked to the nxt bus stop where i can transfer bus. when i was abt to sit, the bus came, boarded it n hoped i'll not see tat guy. ha. to the opposite of my guess, he was there. looking at me. he recognised me. so well, jus make the initial move to intro n tok to him. wad was my first qn? where he stay. i din even ask for his name till i was abt to alight. funny. hmm...come to think of it, was i too bold? was it too weird? cos traditionally, gals ain't suppose to make the first move so was i wrong?? gee..to say it nicely, was i too outgoing n to say it crudely, was i talktative? hmm. well, anyway, caught his name. an interesting one. kaynes. haha. i've forgotten. come to think of it, i wonder if i can recognise his face. ha. in any case, made one more acquaintance! yeah! okay. today's orientation was good. i rmb everybody's name now. yeah. incl the new ones. jus tat kayee n ka boon went missing when doin the stn games so din really get to know them well. met clara. nice gal. an 18 year old. i wonder if i shld tok to her lyk she's a 17 yr old or if i shld tok to her wid a bit more respect. hmm...the way i tok to junjie was lyk a fren but tat's cos he was formerly frm my sch n so there was a connection. so then, maybe i shld tok to clara lyk a 17 yr old? she failed her o lvl eng 2 yrs back but when i hear her conversed in eng, it was pretty good! i really wonder wad happen. oh! n she's a National Youth Bowler!! tat's super cool!!! haha. so during the time when she was waiting 2retake o's, she trained for the Nationals. so pro! haha. today, met victor for morning worship. sang my best. initially, i tot of not singing n try to praise God widout singing jus lyk wad one church did last time but well, it's tough for me to conc?? i dunno. but when i started singing, it's better for me to immerse into his presence. hmm. perhaps there's sumthin wrong wid my attitude cos it's not abt the music, my dear, but it's abt God. it's not abt the words too, but it's abt God. okay. so bear tat in mind, my dear sharon! wad's nxt? er. almost couldn't speak in the morning. kept whispering to melissa cos she also got sore throat. introduction time din wanna shout so got ppl to intro me. shawn was my facilitator. nice guy. scholar. but lyk my induction ogl, shao ming, he also left us alone for sum time. so i guess, perhaps, i shld try tat method?? yup. perhaps lyk tat it'll push the ppl to tok more. plus, had seen how rachael n jing xiu led our og n kept asking us to tok. quite pressurizing n in the end, my prev og wasn't bonded. stn games was fun!! it's always my most fun n fav part of orientation. got wet. similiar games. new games. enjoyed battleship. volunteered myself to be the ship so i can get wet but in the end, it was wet only at my shorts n not on my entire body. grr. shld have wet my face too. den i wun get sun burn! haha. er. i enjoyed the chicken butt n wing n i eat you eat part. esp rolling the item into the box. mine was the tennis ball which was the hardest n i managed to do it for the first time. yeah! er. yes. bonded well wid the og. worked as a team. i shld say this og is not too bad but dunno if we'll still stick arnd together aft we split. okay. there are 150 christians in the JC1 cohort. counted roughly. the DP toked to us n encouraged us but i prefer the prev time when the principal toked to us. tat tok was better. n there were so many messages. keep nodding off. grr. den see vaguely the guitarist playing a guitar tat is similiar to wad victor jus bought. hmm. interesting! pray tat all 150 plus of us will shine lyk stars for u lord! shine for you!! n i'm reminded of the card tat anna had made for us. it's a aluminium foil wrapped arnd a cardboard n it writes "Who are we reflecting". it's a good reminder cos the aluminium foil do reflect light. but there was a distorted view when i put it in front of my face (naturally). den i was thinking, am i reflecting a distorted view of God? am i showing Christ's image in every word n action?? time n again, the song sang by corrine may "Angels in disguise" kept playing in my mind even till now. it's a splendid song esp since it has a story line. it's superb. n 2 things hit me. 1 is to always look arnd me n thank God for the many angels He had sent to touch my life. Eleena, Pastor Janet, Victor, my family, Pamela... the 2nd thing is whether i'd been an angel to someone. it's similiar to wad i'd written above abt reflection. cos to be an angel to sumone, it's only done thru words n actions. so am i? n can i strive to be one everyday? to touch someone's life no matter big or small?? yes! i want to! definitely!! tat's my reply to you, Lord! yup. met victor aft everything ended. walked arnd. toked abt stuff at the balcony. my first time there. interesting n nice tables. n bid each other goodbye on the bridge. also explore the so call clock tower. went all the way to the top. looked down n commented on nice photographic angles n exclaimed when the half moon was seen thru one of the windows on the wall. den victor commented to go up n take a photo when it's sunrise cos the sunlight will pour in. hmm. it'll be nice but we'll be having morning worship when the sunlight pours in. hmm. perhaps nxt time when they say there's no morning worship k? den we still come at 7am n wait upstairs for the light to come in den take many pictures yea? looking forward to tat day! soaking in God's glory...haha...i lyk to see his creation of nature! --------------------------------- Monday, March 06, 2006 @ 4:54 pm I AM SO PROUD TO BE A SAINT!!!
Today, i wore the SA uni. nice. it gives me a sense of identity though i clearly noe tat my main identity is in God n not in the sch. but anyway, it's nice cos for the past few mths it was "half saint half ctss" but now i'm full "saint". it's super nice. plus the tie makes it look nice! met wei ling today n she say i look smart. happen to see chin pin along the corridor n he started looking up n down at me. weird look. i was wondering wad he was looking at before i realised he was looking at me in my new uni! he say...i forgot wad he say but i think it was nice. but he said tat my shirt is big cos my sleeve is long. i think it's only the sleeve. n victor say he's not used to seeing me in tat uni. haha. better get use to it, victor... oh! finally get to stand beside david durin morning worship. finally cos jonathan keeps snatching it. n it's so evident now cos he wanted to pray as 4 of us but i wanted 2. den david n jonathan exchange glances. i pretended i dunno but i know it okay? i know it full well since i come frm a mix sch. anyway, ha, he gave in n i prayed wid david. oh well, i noe it's not abt who u pray wid tat matters or who u stand beside wid but it's the heart tat matters n it's God tat is the focus. yup. anyway, victor will be goin for morning worship tml! yeah! if he can make it. i hope he can! cos it's a great way to start the day n jus lift up praises to Him n commit the day to Him n most imptly, pray for one another! yup. n guess who i met outside the LT1 before morning worship? JIA HUI! i'm so shocked n surprised! i was super happy too! to think tat i would be able to meet my 2 best frens then in pri sch here in SA! we lost contact aft sec sch so we're so happy to each other here. gave a big warm hug. glad she's not upset she din go AC. she got straight bus to sch anyway. asked her to join me for morning worship but she got sumthing on. hmm. will ask her again tonight. n during morning worship, thank God, i got my voice to sing the songs. i tot i can't but during tat time, i felt it was God who helped me...lyk he gave me strength n at tat time, i felt my throat was okay. n i then lift up all my praises to Him. all to you, Lord! met jia hui during the break. meant to catch up wid her more but there's lyk nth much to say? maybe cos it's awkward. jus lyk me n wei ling. i guess aft a while, we may be back to last time where we also hang arnd together. but made a new fren, Eunice. she's such a nice gal! can really tok to her n clique. i wish i got her contact. victor also came n sat wid us. chatted a while too. he wrote for me that poem which i'm suppose to help me make it into a song. hmm. wanted to add one more para but dunno if he minds...will ask him later....come to think of it, i wonder if he came out wid the poem himself.... today, at my new og, i made frens. noel, ruth, saraswathi, melissa, gloria. yup. ruth reminds me of lynn on the first day of our 06s11. loud n active. which is good. but i wonder wad it will be lyk tml. my new og is so quiet la. i wonder if it's a repeat of og25 again. tat's super sad la. i wanna enjoy tml! i want our group to be actively participating in the games n cheers n all! but come to think of it, the joy wld only be temporal. cos on wed, we'll be split into our new cgs. Lord, please let my new cg be nice... met 06s11 today for lunch. glad to see many of us wearing the sajc uni. so nice. n den went to play pictionary one round. we won! n there was once where we jus draw the syllabus n yi mei guessed it. tat's lyk crazy! haha. tat shows how many times we played pictionary till we are familiar wid the word. so played taboo n uno stacko. but left early cos my runny nose came back again. bad... this morning when i awoke, i felt better. my throat feels better. den now, it has gotten worse. esp on the way home. voice changed. grr. hope i'll get well soon n enjoy/ participate in tml's games. many of s11 ponning tml leh. yi mei, jun jie, wei qin, ansley...n victor told me tml is goin to be very physical. i hope i'll be able to take it tml n my asthma wun act up due to the phlegm in my throat. scary... met victor several times today. actually, it's only 2times/3? can't rmb. n met yann ming too. helped him get his documents photocopied n spoke to the mum abt the sch. she spoke in chinese n i got so tongue-tied la. i almost couldn't answer in chinese nor comprehend wad she say. haha. lost touch of talking in chinese in this english-speakin sch. ha. n today, i was discussing wid several s11 abt house n student council. they say hse council are redundant. are they? i dun think so leh...i dunno....i wonder..... --------------------------------- Sunday, March 05, 2006 @ 5:35 pm hey. fell so so so sick today. no...it's frm ytday but felt worse today. i dunno wad happen. i cooked fried rice on my own ytday den is it because of tat? cos i put too much bacon in it? den ytday nite had a nice tok wid victor. but toked till very late in the nite n i was super honest wid him. i hope he wun take offence cos i simply dunno how to beat arnd the bush to get to my point. yup. i think another reason why i fall sick is cos i've been sleeping late these few weeks or rather, for the past few mths. it's bad. real bad. i knew i would fall sick one day but i can't believe it's now! tml onwards got induction n orientation. den i'm so sick...how to be myself? the wanting-to-know-more-ppl self?? i'll talk very little la. den wun feel lyk toking cos my throat hurts when i tok n dun wanna pass the sickness arnd. den everybody will think i'm a quiet n unfriendly gal--bad impression. but i dun want this to happen! not at all! i wanna make those new ppl frm 2nd intake feel comfortable n help them know their way arnd fast. n not forgetting the 1st intake ones too.
argh! i really dun wanna fall sick! i dun want! i hate being sick! i hate it! i wish i din slp late for all those nights! how come i never learnt my lesson frm the last time? uh? Sharon?? last time u fell very ill...still haven't learnt yr lesson ar?? think i'll be getting a fever soon. but i'm hoping not. i dunno wanna feel feverish n headache n all tml. jus slept for 1 hr jus now. kept drifting in n out. n i was sucking a chinese sweet jus now. tot i'll finish it during my slp but it din. it was still there when i awoke so finish it off. sweated but not alot. i wonder why i din sweat as much as last time. i wore a jacket, cover myself to my neck, dun on fan yet i sweat so little. hope it's nth bad. sigh. dun wanna fall ill, Lord, please, heal me n make me well again... sigh. when u're sick, u experience alot of care n concern rite? esp frm yr family? sigh. but here n now, sigh, mum's lyk not looking at me when i awoke. she wasn't as caring as last itme. perhaps i've grown older already? so she know i can take care of myself? but i also nid concern dun i? i'm also a human ar..... --------------------------------- Saturday, March 04, 2006 @ 8:49 am hmm. okay. read many of 06s11 blogs n found out tat many ppl were writin abt our class. hmm. so perhaps i'll throw in one/two para too? hmm. let's see. came into sajc wid an unexcited n nervous feeling cos i'm afraid i can't make frens. besides, there are only 7 of us frm CTSS so the chances of us being in the same og grp is slim. however, i think jia pei n wei xin went into the same grp. oh well. den rmb sitting down beside ka yee n tokin to her n the other sharon. ka yee was nice! we conversed alot n helped me gain my confidence to speak up n tok to the others. helped me feel comfortable. but dunno why, these days, we jus pass each other. i smile at her but she doesn't seem to reply. hmm. why has she become so dao? did i do sumthing wrong?? den i'll be seeing her again for Induction. sigh. i hope things will turn out fine. at least i know another gal, Ruth. looking forward to having a fun time wid her n the rest of the grp! anyway, OGLs are pretty. fred was enthu. josiah n bennett n sherman were shy. but surprised to see sherman so enthu at the disco nite. stage/mass games. cheers. outings. making nehoma ties. station games! tat's the one tat i love most! dinner at nite. went home wid guan hoe n lincoln. but then, towards the end, esp aft we'd gone into our CGs, we split. split till real bad. i see my frens still meeting up wid their og but us? i really wonder why? is it cos of cliques or busyness? i hate cliques. seen it's destructive side many times. so please Lord, please let there be few or no cliques in my new CG so we all can bond real well jus lyk in 06s11!
okay. so frm og25-->06s11. transition. saw wei qin there! real cool. get to meet up again. n met pamela who's as much a mugger as me. ha. okay. we do play arnd n have fun. really. play pictionary umpteen times. i'm gald u guys lyk it man! i'm so so HAPPY i taught u all n spread the joy arnd. n taboo too. i think u all play till u all almost memorise the words rite? den had to bring my own set of cards. ha. pe was fun. so little running! more games. played floorball for the first time in SAJC n cheating in rounds. n studying n photocopying wid pam n chen san for phys test. it was splendid tat i have a fren who thinks alike. n always sitting in the same block in the same few rows in the CC. easy to find u peeps. darren was frm CO. interesting. saw kahlid in NCC uniform. woah! n lynn's loud which is good. therefore, it gave me a lasting first impression n immediately i fell in love wid 06s11. been telling ppl tat my class's enthu n fun n can bond. oh! n valent-tube. thanks for yr co-operation peeps! all in all, i enjoyed myself thruout the first 2/3mths! thanks for all tat u've done n giving me a memory tat will stay deeply engraved in my heart! take care! *** okay. so here's the continuation frm ytday's entry. i din mention sumthing before i went to com n blog. sumhow victor n i were talking abt a verse in the bible which i din believe it was in there. so i jus grabbed a bible off the shelves frm the library n flip thru it. interesting. din noe there's a guy who fled naked when jesus was taken away by the soldiers in mark. as i'd grabbed a study bible, i looked at the notes at the bottom n they inferred tat the guy was hastily dressed as he wanted to see jesus. hmm. interesting. so i flipped thru the other books n verses n was reminded of those verses tat i used to memorise. muz keep in touch wid them. also, since it's a study bible, also look at the notes n references they wrote down. i wanna get a Study Bible next time! it's so useful! After tat, we went off to MRT station and head off to bras basah. while walking, i noticed a grp of kids playing under the HDB so we walked outside on the pathway. while victor n i were on a topic tat i was engrossed in, suddenly, i feel a premonition. so i turned back slightly n looked. to my horror, a ball was heading in my direction at top speed. i stretched out my arm to my back n try to hit the ball away. but, the next thing i knew, i felt a strong impact on my upper back, below my neck. base on wad i can see, victor's hand seems to withdraw frm my back jus before the ball hits me. i din ask him why he withdrew but later on, he told me wad happened. he said tat when he turned arnd n looked, he saw the ball heading towards my head. so he stuck out his hand but he was afraid when he swing his hand, he would hit my head. well, i did tell him tat i would rather be hit by his hand than by the ball. hmm. i think tat was mean n hurtful. yikes. sorry! anyway, he said the ball hit his fingertips but still it hit me on my back. well, thankfully, it din hit my head or my neck or else the consequences would be dire. victor was quite upset (or so it seems to me) tat he din hit the ball away though. he seems to keep blaming himself for not protecting me but well, i don't. some things are jus beyond control. at least he tried =) this reminds me of last time how desmond hit the ball away when it was coming towards me. hmm...both balls are soccer balls. so conclusion: soccer balls are dangerous :P anyway, headed down to bras basah n looked at the guitars n victor bought one. it looked nice. brown leaf shape. accoustic i think n the back is hard n black. pretty. he called it his daughter. victor told me he named his violin as his gf n i was joking wid him tat he n his "gf" had pms n had a daughter. hmm. i spelt the gf's name as "christabell". dunno if it's the correct spelling but there's a "christ" in it! he tot of naming his guitar autumn. or spring. i think spring sounds nicer. more lovely n chirpy. oh! n his future "wife" (his nxt violin) as winter. yup. had dinner together at a nearby coffeeshop n chatted alot. nice. but was slightly tired since the beginning of the day. went to bugis junction n bought food frm mos burger. however, on his way there, his ankle hurt suddenly. strange. i wonder how's he now. forgot to ask him jus now. grr. i hope it's okay n nth serious though it's the 2nd time now n it seems very painful though. den after i'd came out of the toilet, he suddenly turned to me n say, "you know wad i was thinking? can i meet you at the end of next year then go esplanade roof top n i play a sonf for you on the guitar?" wah! i got a big shock la. i couldn't believe i was hearing it! tat's super sweet! but i dunno why i masked it. i din show i was excited though deep down inside, i was. i was somehow "arguing" that he can learn the guitar fast but cos of the preparation for A's, he may not have time. besides, he said he want to play a real nice piece wid all the chords linked up. but i would it be this year. after his A's.cos i know when he enters NS, it's gonna be real busy n real tired. i had seen it before in Ken. snapshots of it. but we settled it as early next year but i have my doubts abt it cos of his BMT. i noe u're reading victor, so can it be this year aft yr A's? maybe after christmas? after A's u'll surely be free wan so can prac alot. so why not? i have faith in you! anyway, this reminded me of a fren of mine n told victor abt it. ha. was saying he's a playboy cos he had several gf already. my fren denied it anyway. all in all, it was a good ride home though i was tired n lonely... until i was on 173. i looked out of the window n saw a young teenager chasing for the bus. so i tot i'll looked harder to see if it's someone i know. sure enough! it's Joel frm phpps. i rmb his face bus somehow guys changed alot! many guys changed their facial features. i wonder wad they do. luckily he recognised me too n so he sat on the other side of the asile n we started chatting n catching up. he couldn't rmb my name though. ha. checked wid him the phpps classes but i was not his classmate at all. hmm. tat means i'd seen him in some tuition class. n he improved alot! frm bukit view to ACJC! wad do u say? 10pts leh. wad's more, he told me he did badly in sec 2 but i'm glad he learned his lesson n pulled up his socks n did well. pro! this shows he have talent? haha. quite unbelievable. he was posted to jjc. but he din know zg. so i asked who he knows frm CTSS n he told me Shi Qing. den i exclaimed Le Jing. yup. n we started toking abt her. this gal never fails to create a lasting impression in others! joel had much to say abt her. said tat she was talkative in a positive way n cheerful n wid her arnd, the og is never quiet. but heard frm him tat le jing got into acjc n wasn't pleased. sure she wasn't. pressurised by her parents. man. i hope she's okay now. better find a apt time to call her. when i reached home, mum greeted me at the door n gave me a look. but as the children frm the Bible Club are still there, she din scold me. it was party n food time. they have jus celebrated a few bdays ytday. while walkin arnd the house, one of the boys came up to me n asked which sch i'm from. when i say Saint Andrews Junior College, he went lyk "oh...junior college...." n walked off. hmm. wonder what he's thinkin. while waiting for the kids to finish using the toilet so i can shower, i sat at the dining table. den suddenly, many kids ask me qns simultaneously! i was talkin to aunty too. i was surprised tat they're so friendly n willing to tok n got so many qns! lyk a curious bunch of chaps. ha. i try to ask them qns too but it seems lyk they have more qns for me than i do! haha. kids...curious kids.... *** so this morning, i was awaken up by victor's mornin call. asked him to wake me up lyk 745am n he called me at 730am. wah! so early la. i slept at 12plus close to 1am den he wake me up at 730. ha. i so dun wanna wake up. but came out n played the piano. stupid fingers. can't get the notes rite. can't hit the right notes. stupid. anyway, hope he'll do his best for the olympiad now! while washing up n all, i was thinking to myself tat there's seriously sumthing wrong wid my prayer life now. by the time i stop work n time for bed, i jus hurriedly say my prayers n sumtimes i haven't finished saying it den i jus fell asleep. it's bad. i dunno wad's the solution. does it mean tat i have to stop work earlier? or does it mean i have to find another time to pray? i mean, i pray every day, every moment when the holy spirit wants me to but i always lyk to do a concluding one where i can reflect on all tat happen n give thanks n raise my prayer requests to Him. i've much to pray for. wei ling, aunty janet n uncle caleb, jeremy, victor...so many ppl. i promised or rather, i was determined at tat point of time but how come i din do it?? sumthing's wrong sumwhere. sigh... --------------------------------- Friday, March 03, 2006 @ 5:07 pm hello. was too busy ytday to blog. but had a great time. calling victor. ha. to ask qns n help. but also chatted la. glad to share one testimony. but it was kinda weird cos i dunno if he was ready to listen to it n if the Lord wants me to. the conversations between him n i are getting more interesting as we began toking more about you, Lord! i can't believe there's so much joy in involving You in my conversations! =) okay. u know how i feel n tat's good enough.
was tired today. i think it's cos of wei ling tat thing. she din made it to the sch tat she wanted to go! she meets the cut-off but tat sch din want her! it's jus the same case as mine for prelims. so i really sympathise wid her n feel alot for her. i hope she's okay now. can't call her over the weekends but i can expect anger n a slight hatred may grow up in her against those who got in wid the same pts as her. but well, i jus hope she'll be strong n continue to have a close walk wid the Lord so she can draw strength n comfort frm Him. met her n comfort n hug her. n all i can say to her is tat i'll pray for her. muz rmb yr promise Sharon! okay. sk also din get in. saw yu xian who crashed today n toked a bit abt conray. wad else? er..ordered watermelon-strawberry drink for the first time? yea...i think so. n took many photos during the phys tutorial till mr casey leong came out n scold us la. hmph! oh well. got many frens' photos in the cam. hope i wun lose them n hold them dear to my heart. S11: you rock!!! n thanks jun jie, jarryl, yi mei n ansley for preparing the cards for all of us. yup. okay. jus had my interview. scary. followed anisha up jus now n the teacher actually wanted me to go nxt aft her but i left off instead. i knew tat the teacher wld give the suggestion tat's why i went off first. got sum qns frm anisha. i dunno why i'm so lucky. i always get to know some qns before-hand for interviews so i can prepare. yup. prepared n got to answer quite readily. i think the teacher knows tat i have prepared cos my thinking period is rather short. but stupidly, i forgot to prepare one qn. n so i stammered n was a bit nervous. ha. okay. overall it's lyk tat lor. it's fine la. all to God! so mon results are out. anisha n i say we'll meet together n see the results. scary. but i know tat she'll get in. she has the factor la. okay. gtg already. see ya! --------------------------------- Wednesday, March 01, 2006 @ 9:21 pm hey...okay. first thing's first. jus did qt n read the purpose driven life book. this book never fails to teach me abt God's Word etc n i really learnt alot. thank you God for this man, this author! okay. learnt tat we (christians) have a life message to share! it's not jus sharing testimony but it's testimony, life lessons, sharing godly passions n good news. yup. n also reminds me tat i have a mission and ministry. mission to the unbelievers n ministry to the believers. n this ties in very much wid wad i wld be saying later on. but, another thing i learnt is security. these days, i had been wondering if i shld go for the church camp cos i'm afraid tat if i go, i'll miss several make-up lectures if i change to take bio. the theme of my church camp is security unlimited. n conicidentally or by God's will, the title of my qt material is on security. hmm. it linked to church camp n i wonder if it's a sign tat God wants me to go for church camp. Lord, do u? do u have something installed for me to learn?
okay. anyway, had a great day today! okay. it wasn't as hectic n tiring as ytday. n i brought pictionary again n had fun playing wid the gals n jarryl though it was only for a brief 20mins-30mins. cos we had to eat first n go SC den settle down n get the board n papers. yup. but all in all, it was fun. invited victor along n glad he came. glad my classmates are friendly too so they din really leave him out? tat's how i perceived. n i din noe victor can draw well! it was his first time playing pictionary if i'm not wrong, n he drew popcupine. ha. n sum of my classmates comment on his drawing. hmm. perhaps he's comparable to elias who also draws very accurately? haha. anyway, chem prac was a bit weird. got a weird answer n finally after discussing wid mrs leow, we concluded tat the new toothpaste we tried on is too alkaline. hmm. kodomo. it's a kids brand n is for kids to use. of course it'll be alkaline! haha. wad else? den we heard tat the posting results came out already! got a shock! n liane went into VJC jus as she hoped for. so after prac, all of us rushed to the library where there are computers. amazingly, word spread arnd n by the time i went to the library, there were many grps of J1's at the library, flocking arnd the computers! i told pam tat i want to be near her when she sees her results but i wonder where i went to when she checked it. cos suddenly, she came up to me n said, "Sharon, i got into SAJC" I couldn't believe my ears! cos hers is a shaky case n i was so so so happy tat she entered SAJC! i'll still be able to see though she n i may not be in the same class. but all in all, i'm glad she entered here as she wished. gave her a hug but she really hugged me hard. ha. wished i could do the same but my stupid hand was holding on to my hp. anyway, i got into SAJC too! good. as expected. i think i'm beginning to lyk SA alot so i'm satisfied wid my posting! oh! dun ask me why i can get my results earlier. heard tat it's cos my sch's library got this webby where we can log in n check it out but heard tat later on, the lib took down the webby. so i can't checked for yw, sh, zg, sk n jamie. oh! thank you Lord for these postings esp for pam's one! jus hope tat u'll comfort chen san, darren n ming wei too. okay. so met up wid victor n went to mac's as planned. din go to the new balcony though. will check it out someday! okay. ate there n wow..victor forgot to bring his money again. ha. anyway, good chat over lunch n conc on studies. but not for him cos i keep disturbing him. ask him qns, ask him to explain concepts to me. i feel so bad. i noe he doesn't want me to but i jus feel it tat way. i dun lyk to bother ppl. besides, he had only done 10qns in 2 hrs. tat muz be way below yr average working speed, right victor? i noe u're reading this....hi! i'm really having second thoughts of goin to study wid you again cos i really slows u down. haha. which makes me wonder, in my own fantasy world, tat if only Ken was free n not busy/tired aft ns, den he can coach me in studies. den i dun nid to trouble my j2 seniors! but well, i can't say tat i'm not happy tat i finally cleared my maths concepts wid one more time of explanation, right? but i think i feel grateful the most. i'm glad God sent me a fren who helped me in my studies today. n not jus studies but also in my spiritual life. it's indeed comforting n encouraging n really a wow feeling to hear testimonies frm victor. i'm glad he was willing to share wid me. n really, i can't help but repeat tat i'm really encouraged. yup. wad went thru my mind was this: 1. how great God's love is to us, whether we are in His family or not. 2. praise to God for how He'd worked in his life 3. a reminder once again that no matter how adverse the situation may be, God will turn it arnd n use it for His own good will. we may never see it at tat time but we'll see it when we look back. besides, when we look back n see all the goodness tat God had done, we'll gain confidence to move forward. tat's wad i'd learned too! 4. finally, testimonies are really a great source of encouragement! it reminds me of last time when i'd first heard testimonies frm sumone of my age--frm timothy. i was jus as encouraged as now, so i'll be ever so determined to share one when the time is right n when God sends me an opportunity. but still, lifestyle evangelism is the best testimony one can give. yup. our hearts n our attitudes. hmm. victor commented tat i din share much. yup. i dun deny it. i dunno why but the one of the things tat come to my mind when he started sharing was tat i have no story to tell. it's quite disturbing when tat tot entered my mind. n later on when reading the purpose driven life, i realised tat it's actually the devil playing a trick on me! he was the one down there telling me tat i got no story to tell n so discourage me. actually, i do have. the author encouraged us (readers) to search n think n gave us guidelines. yup. indeed i have. hmm. i rmb i've written down sumwhere the events in which the lord has helped me thus far. i think..oh! it's in my other diary. ha. yup. okay. so i'll go check it out there! okay. so left mac's at 530pm arnd there. n met rayson there. den victor met his own frens. overheard many conversations frm the next table which ain't so pleasant to the ear. victor said nxt time go library study. okay. met isa-re! i haven't learnt how to spell her name yet. was happy to see her again. i was looking out for her these days. but forgot to ask her abt her family back in bangkok since it's so unsettled there. hmm. okay. another train of thoughts tat came while i was on my way home was how God sends frens to my life. ha. i rmb, the prev entries i was complainin abt frens n all but today, i see the good side of it? experience the joy of having frens n gave me a heart full of thankfulness. n i'm really happy tat in victor n my conversation, we really involve God. it's the first time i had a conversation which so involves God. thinking hard, though i have many frens who are older than me (but still in the teenage years) n a christian, we dun really tok much abt God. joshua, samantha, deborah, nicholas, benjamin, matthew...well, okay. got a few la. muz admit, le jing, jeremy n sabrina. but not as much as wid victor? yup. pray tat God will continue to be involved in our conversations! --------------------------------- |