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Monday, July 31, 2006 @ 8:54 pm pruning in progress!
romans 8:28
joshua 1:9 set relationship right wid u Lord --------------------------------- Sunday, July 30, 2006 @ 2:34 pm hey! jus came back frm church n boy! Ken is so super slim la! haha. okay....exaggerating. but he lost ALOT of weight. was told tat he lost 13kg 0_0 haha. tat's good anyway. hope he stays in this shape =) the outfield has done him good. but sad la. he n sab din stay for the youth session.
but we got a new fren! okay. he ain't exactly new. he said he came here for the 3rd time already but i only rmb seein him once b4. haha. le jing was commenting tat he looked lyk ho yun. n the rest of the youths incl the adults were saying tat his mannerism is lyk jeremy. haha. interesting. but glad he came. glad it ain't jus me who keep toking to him but le jing too. but dunno why the older youths always so quiet wan. hardly tok to the new-comers. den wad's more, he's 19 years old this year which is their age. den for me a bit weird n tough (i personally feel). lyk a junior toking to a senior n this junior keep asking alot of qns n dunno la..jus dun feel comfortable. to me, age plays a big part even if it's one-year difference. to someone older than me, i'll treat him/her wid respect n i'll know my place well...tat means dun ask so many qns n keeping quiet n let him/her do more of the toking. yup. but aww was sad tat he ain't coming back nxt week. think he's busy but certainly hope it isn't us who frighten him =) anyway, glad he came n hope to see him arnd! tokin abt ho yun in the prev para, was msging him last nite to ask him to come to church today. dunno why but jus felt burdened. i guess it's also cos i'd prayed for him once this week i think. during morning worship where the worship leader challenged us to pray for someone who has back-slided. aww. if only he had came today. den can compare him wid tat new fren. oh! btw, tat guy's name is wei xiang. yea. but ho yun went clubbing last nite. well. no surprise. will ask him to come nxt week. hey! thru this, i learnt a lesson! u noe, initially, i was hestitating (dun ask me why..dun wish to share). but the Lord kept pushing me n tuggin at me. so wad did i learn? leave the results to God, go forth in faith n obedience. jus go. tat was wad i heard. it was a struggle (which shouldn't have been) but i cleared things up. was using my heart to listen, not my head. not jus head knowledge but heart conviction. yeah. so went ahead n though the result isn't the "optimum" but something good do come out of it! yeah. one testimony! cheers! was catching up wid the other Ken n Kelvin. haha. the two K's. had a good chat. wah. ken is lyk taking accounting course while in NS la. wow. n he got his driving license already! can drive me arnd :P but only during the weekends. lol. it also means i dun nid to go down to boon lay to meet him already. since he got car, he can conveniently meet me anywhere :P n Kelvin is in squash in SP ! cool. same as sab. but din have a chance to ask her abt him. n he doesn't recall who sab is. lol. oh! today's prayer time during youth was good. thank you lord for giving me sisters who care for me n pray for me. din share the entire battle tat i'd been thru but jus ask for prayer request. i'm glad they prayed for me. was really encouraged. thank you lord for showin me tat i still have frens who care for me! --------------------------------- Friday, July 28, 2006 @ 9:59 pm hey!!! i got a C grade for 2.4km!! yeah. super happy. never had this kinda grade for my runs wan. yeah. thanks xiao wei n danny for cheering the gals on. yeah. thank you lord. so did my sit n reach again n pass the C grade (finally after many tries). yeah. so there comes my first gold for napfa. but i think i gotta be fair to xiao wei. i'll try the other 4 stns together wid her the nxt time round. yeah. tat's one good thing.
this entire week wasn't good for me. was battled. struggled. but din really wanna focus too much on it so i decided to list down the blessings tat God poured on me during this entire week during my QT time n know wad? He gave me 15 blessings (as far as i can recall, i know there are more than that since His love is immeasurable). but hey! i'm really grateful! feel lyk after every week, list down the blessings so i'll not lose focus. "count yr blessings, name them one by one. count yr blessings, see wad the Lord has done. count yr blessings. name them one by one. den it will surprise u wad the Lord has done" yup. tat's a song on blessings. did good reflections too. tok alot to Him! okay. still nid God's strength n love n grace n courage to see me thru the coming week. hope i dun get monday blues n really pray tat things will be better. oh! geog CT in 2 weeks time la. so anxious. haven't started yet. lost most of the information. grr. gonna study. so dun think i'll go blog very often then. n RHD was good! well done guys! I LOVE 7th HOUSE COM!!! --------------------------------- Wednesday, July 19, 2006 @ 8:52 am yay! finally the com load this page. okay. using sch com now. bleah. now stomach feel so unwell la. vomitted last nite. den jus ate one bread b4 i slp. woke up this morning feeling better but then still a bit churny inside. it wants to vomit the breakfast but i refuse to let it. if not, i'll be on empty stomach the whole day. sigh. all the irregular eating of dinner...coming home late etc. dun lyk. wanna get well...
den meet quite a number of probs in sch. esp on frenship probs. bleah. it's really depressing n down n upsetting. hope it'll end soon. feel lyk ending it all the easy way out. but well, glad i'm bonding well wid my house com! sigh. i hope i ain't too sensitive either. lest i make some ppl unhappy. but hey! tell u a good news! i toked to yi xian ytday!! he msg me but i din see till almost one hour later. den gave him a ring b4 i shower n eat. was catching up alot wid him in terms of academic. din have much time to tok to him abt my probs n things tat are more personal. but i'm glad i can call on him anytime i want. n he said tat he was jus bored, tat's why he called me. also, he saw the picture n card i gave him when we graduated. yeah. glad these gifts stay wid him n remind him of me. yeah! actually, i was hoping it's the dolphin phto rame tat i gave him. wonder where it went. later goin to meet yw n sh. i hope i'll be better by then n not worse. i really hope i can meet them! miss them lotz. but forgot to bring their presents la. stupid. later on, there's rehearsal from 545 to 8pm. glad dad's goin to fetch me frm sch! yea. but goin to have dinner late again. sigh. Lord, grant me strength n pls help me in my problems... --------------------------------- Wednesday, July 12, 2006 @ 11:59 pm hey!!!
MY CLASS GOT A BLOG!!! Jus realised it today. den got other ppl links lyk taufiq n kevin...gonna link them. was surprised to see my link on it. hope we can change the tag board. a bit hard to see cos the background is dark now doin GP proj. actually, jus finished. yay. aft spending hours in front of com. phew. was toking to Glen too. he said he couldn't contact me...wanted to ask abt the rugby boys frm LF. oh ya! toking abt it, glad i had a good chat wid Li Wei. he's so nice la. i wonder if he looks nice/handsome too. haha. he was filling me all the info abt who turn up, how many ppl frm other hses turn up, wad they do n details of the actual tournament too. yay. wanna see how he look lyk in person. was telling him i dunno how reng fu n shao pen looks lyk. den he said tat reng fu was the guy who exclaimed loudly tat he got tournament during assembly where i turned arnd. haha. okay. n li wei has been ponning assembly!! O_O was shocked. he was askin me to ask him to join any bb tournament. n was giving me one of the badminton guy's no. was quite surprised to see his name as "victor". lol. anyway, toked to him on the phone too. guess i gave him a shock when i said i'll give him my no. but, he's goin to play doubles wid wei liang! hope wei liang agrees! den li wei was also telling me abt how his pants got a tear frm darren's strong arms. lol. darren...lol...anyway, met wid probs already. got 7 ppl turn up for the trainin today. den dunno how they're goin to handle the 4 games on fri itself. oh well. gonna discuss as a hse tml when we meet up! attention peeps, esp LOY FATT ppl! please go down to school at 230pm to support Loy Fatt boys in the rugby match k? go down n cheer them on! esp if yr classmates are playing! namely, s9 and s11 and several jc2 classes! okay. er. wad else to say. yay. glad i worked wid "him" today. dun wanna mention the name cos he's my classmate. my first time working wid him. wanted to work wid him all along but never had a chance till today. i lyk workin wid different ppl...can know the person better esp seeing how they face up to challenges n obstacles. yup. today, met ben teoh in the bus. actually, i din noe it's him till he was alighting. i was standing in front of him somemore la. wah. den jus msg him on msn n asked if it's him. also found out he lives so near me la! shocked! den maybe nxt time can go joggin together or sumthing. lol. nah. i think he's a busy guy. jus lyk i'm a busy gal. den, on the bus home, met joel! woah! the dunno-wad-time meet him on bus already. i was slping on the bus, then i was suddenly jerked awake. looked straight ahead. spotted him. waved. realised my phone's ringing. answered. n guess who's the one on the other end? Joel himself. wah. den wake me up lyk tat la. but it's good la. den finish off my planning n never fall aslp again. time to wake up anyway. den he intro me to 2 gals who were wid him. ahh! they stay in my condo! was surprised! haha. yes! finally found ppl of the same age as me in the same condo! i tot i wun have frens in this condo though. but we din tok much. din get their contact no. maybe some other time den! haha. today meet so many ppl. oh! met victor aft sch too. glad we had a good chat, cleared things up n got something significant. yes. pray it'll be a good reminder n stay wid u forever. dun lose it k? n be courageous! er. wad else to say. ahha. GP deadline for research is by tonight la. so tat's why rushed. initially dun want wan. but sigh. no choice. tml meeting hse com ppl. first meet within LF see mr ng den the entire hse com. wonder if we'll know our positions tml. hehe. den glen know nuts abt seeing mr tan today. wonder who rep LF or if there is a rep in the first place. jus dun lyk communication breakdown. oh! went lunch wid ruth, lynn, xiao wei, jannah n yh. den was lookin in 77th street den yh was nice to jus hang arnd while waiting for me. den dunno where jannah n xiao wei go. we tot they go long john but they're missing. so called them while both of us were shopping in action city. first time shopping wid yh. nice. learn abt alot of stuff. his pri sch, his collection n his fav colour =) yay. haha. today seems gay for me uh? lol. okay. tat's all i gotta say. bye! --------------------------------- Saturday, July 08, 2006 @ 4:56 pm OUCH!!!!
Injure myself twice today!! so painful! one on my finger when i was keeping the chair after piano lesson (theory) but now okay already. can still type. but tat pain lasted soooo long. den jus now, i jus hurt my toe!! so painful! i hit the curb when i was entering the room. then stood on the mat on the floor n slipped. luckily i din fall else i'll hit my head hard on the floor or the legs of the bed. man. bad bad. i dun wanna get injured! so painful. esp my fingers!! i still got a pretty long years of memories wid my piano! toking abt it, really beginnin to enjoy n appreciate music more. ever since i went for dip classes, i learnt many many things. teacher analyse the pieces wid me n tell me the mood of the piece, the chord traids, the variation, the repetitions etc. it's jus so NICE to learnt abt all this!! is nice the rite word? hmm. no...WONDERFUL! yes! n EXCITING! yay! was thinking on the way here to be victor's piano accompaniest for his violin exam. den was thinkin tat since he goes to a sch, they shld provide the accompaniest. den later, was thinking if i can enroll myself up wid tat sch n be a piano accompaniest for the violin/viola examiners for lower grades only. tat sounds real cool la. first, i'll get exposure to being an accompaniest, never played a real exam piece wid a violin player b4. second, money! okay. a pay-check; a salary to draw from. but was thinkin abt wad i nid to do: first, gotta go down for all practices. tat means, if i have to play for 4 students, i'll have to go down for all 4 sessions n i have to suit their timings. which implies less time spent on studies. dunno if it'll affect my studies. n also rushing down frm after-schools. second, i'll have to prac alot. i muz perform up to standard n play it perfectly so tat i wun screw up on the actual day. third, dunno if i'll be nervous on the day of exams though i'll not be the one tested. but emotionally, i guess i'll be affected. forth, making frens wid the players. i believe in order to play a music real well n bring out the best, u gotta be frens wid yr partner. lyk wad i mention: PARTNER. tat means working hand-in-hand. n in order to work hand-in-hand, there muz be a relationship/frenship there. tat's part of the reason why i want to be victor's accompaniest; cos i noe him. besides, i have the qualification. jus nid to go for audition (i suppose) n interview fifth, got to get permission frm mum. sigh. tat is one big n hard obstacle. hehe dunno. these are jus my tots. but i think i'm still goin to ask victor to ask his teacher abt it. yay. been busy these days. last nite went to Holland V to eat wid my cell ppl. deb, nic, matt, evelyn, kah hwee n eleena. ate in subway den went to gelare to eat. nice. the place there is nice. the ice cream is nice. esp the mint. nic gave such a big reaction la. lol. stayed there till very late. 10 pm plus. shared ice cream wid kah hwee, evelyn n eleena. 5 flavours. nice. apple crumble, rum n raisin, choc, cookies n cream, mint. when i've tasted the mint, immediately i know wad to get for my bro's bday already! treat him to the mint flavour! in PS. on tue summore. cos got half price of the waffle ice cream. plus mint is his fav n we commented tat it's nice. i hope he agrees wid the goin out. i was quite excited when i told him abt it but he was a bit non-chalent abt it. was a bit upset. sigh. go out wid me k? let me treat u. den maybe we can go shopping?? i dunno. wanted to treat u to movies too. but dun have much time n not many nice movies these days. toking abt goin out, can't wait to go out wid my sis. hope i can go out wid her on wed? yea. when my common tests end. sigh. yes. still got phys n maths paper. rushing thru phys paper now. was looking thru work done chap n circular motion. felt so "kak" when i was jus reading n not trying any qns. jus reading the notes n my workings. i wld rather do it. prac the formulas tat i learnt. yup. sigh. but jus gotta push myself to finish reading all the notes b4 prac anything. secure myself first. was looking at TIME mag on the bus. jus screening thru an old issue. nice. they had many articles on global warming. can't wait to read them. jus hope it'd sparked n created an awareness among many ppl n they will take action. esp the govt. i really hope they'll do sumthing abt it. dun want mother earth to die n suffer!! no!! dun want the polar bears to drown in the water n more land becomes arable. den the whole poverty cycle will still persist.
chi oral was not bad. but i screw up such a simple qn la. "wad are the probs u meet in JC life" woah! got a big shock. den dunno how to say balance n advice in chinese. stupid rite? den one of the examiners gave me a sian face. dun lyk. bleah. jus drew up a study plan. n also realise tat it's 12 more weeks to promos (incl the hols)!!! it's so super soon la! n my study plan will only last for 7 weeks. 1 month b4 my promos, goin to draw up a different plan. ya. den after drawing it out, was really afraid. was slightly shaking. immediately committed it to the Lord. lyk wad He says n lyk wad jeremy always remind me, man may plan but the Lord excutes it. so tell Him abt it, put it in His hands n ask Him for His blessings n guidance n strength n wisdom. n also ask him not to forget to spend time wid my frens. yes. i'll be spendin lyk 3 hours a day on tutorial (esp HW) n revision of wad teacher taught tat day n prep for the nxt day's/tat week's test (if any) n i'm so super afraid i wun have enuff time; tat that 3 hrs will not be enuff. den the rest of the time is doin CT paper so i wun forget wad i learnt now. den still got my piano. looking at my schedule, i feel lyk taking away the piano prac times but i noe i can't. i jus cannot do it. if i dun prac, i'll die n teacher will look at me wid those eyes. besides, learning dip already. it isn't easy. not lyk grades where i can fake. this one can't fake wan. got a lot of techniques i nid to brush up on n muz feel wid the music; flow wid the music. sigh. dun lyk. den travelling time quite long. hope i'll rest instead of muggin on the bus. was prayin abt tat too. dun wanna get a headache. n really hope i'll reach home early so tat i'll have much time to prac piano. lyk tat my qt time wun be pushed back. else everything will be pushed back too. sigh. oh well. a part of me is scared but a part of me is also excited n feel much challenged =) --------------------------------- Wednesday, July 05, 2006 @ 8:56 pm Yes!! finally can blog. after chem paper toady, jus feel lyk a big burden is off my chest. i'm glad there's this break!! really nid this break man. feel so...ah...good! watch LOST too. stupidly skipped one episode. haha. dunno if i wanna watch back or not. haha. nvm. will see how. at least this time my boy wun scold me already for taking up too much memory space in the dvd recorder :P tml he got matrix test!! all the best!! dun think he'll see this b4 his test tho. but jus went to see him n saw him doin matrix hw. haha. i hope he'll be able to revise by tonight n understand the topic. muz score k? it's very simple wan!!
last nite germany lost to italy. i know. though i din watch n not exactly a really huge fan of world cup. but still sad tat germany lost. sigh. heard kuan wei toking to the guys abt it this morning...hmm...he said tat germany was good, conserve their energy till the 2nd half or sumthing. ya. anyway, din see him the whole day. kkz. exaggerating. only glance at him early in the morning. but din even get to tok to him face-to-face. sigh. upset. dun lyk. din tok to him much today on phone calls either. hope to tok to him later. missing him already. aww :P sigh. wished...jus wish... but tml i doubt i'll see him unless he stays back or maybe i go sch early! see him for lunch! den fri not goin to sch. a day off for us cos it's college day. aw man. tat's totally awful!! grr... hmm. dunno why these days jus get distracted during qt. not cos of him. definitely. but dunno leh. sit down. then reflect on the day. think abt stuffs. den i guess all these jus leads me away frm the real purpose of why i'm down there; why i purposely leave the hse to go downstairs. n sumtimes, i'll jus stare at the ppl in the swimmin pool n observe them n everything arnd me except for the words in the Bible. bad. i wonder if the prob lies wid my heart or the environment. should i change my environment?? i dunno. but jus dun lyk it. den it'll drag till very late n den it jus gets very dark. dun think God is pleased either tml's my A level chinese oral!!! argh!!! okay....haven't prac much. goin to prac later!!! muz prac. i'd better pass my chinese or at least fail by only 5 marks :P today, was such a slacker. after the paper, jus wanted to go out n have a breather. so hang arnd xiao wei n jannah n waited for jannah to settle the oral stuffs n the fingerprint stuffs. den meet yong hui n ruth to eat lunch. xiao wei also joined us. toked a bit here n there but most of the time is yh n xw toking abt chinese oral. jus feels weird to hear frens speaking in chinese. jus reminds me soooo much abt ctss. sigh. miss those days. miss those days when i also communicate in chinese!!! oh! btw, CTSS BAND CONCERT on the 19th August, Sat, 730pm!! peeps, ctss peeps, try to make it can? den can be lyk a gathering! hope can see many ppl there. haha. pay 10bucks to see ppl. lol. of course to hear the band. oh well. this year spent so much on concerts la. 20bucks for rapture, 5bucks for sajc band concert. oops. dun overspent sharon though u love arts! okay. contiune the story. den after lunch, went to macs. tok a while to linda. glad to tok to her. found out she's frm dunearn n knows ian too! den went to get a seat n study maths for one hour. noisy though. the loud radio. dun lyk it. but at least i'd left wid one page more of notes to look thru b4 starting on the qns. can't wait to be challenged by the qns. hope i wun get piss. den changed. mum called while i was in toilet. hmm. jus got this weird feeling of why she calls me n ask me abt my papers these days. i wonder wad's she doing. she never do tat to me b4. or at least i dun recall. dun think there's a motive rite? after all, she's a MOTHER. one tat loves her kids. i hope it's pure love. sigh. why am i thinking this way of my mother in the place? oh no! how come i'm becoming suspicious of my own family members? am i changing? wad happen? sigh. i guess i've been living in a world where i dun feel much parental love. n i kept telling myself n my frens abt it tat perhaps, it jus became so real n i jus acknowledge the fact. so when mum did this to me, it jus feels weird. man. dun want. dun want to be suspicious of even my own family. if i dun trust them, who else can i trust? besides, it's my parents whom i'll turn to eventually in tat BIG decision nxt time. change me! went to TJC investiture. met VJC frens. hse com members. hear alot of stuffs. TJC's hse com is HUGE!!! they have 50 plus members! n the house com head is the vice-pres of the SC. n the captains of each hse are members of the SC. n they hand over by pinning the collar badge on the JC1s n hug them. so we got weird combis lyk 3-ppl hug n guy-gal hug n tall-short ppl hug. ya. funny. one of the 3-ppl hug hit the head. lol. anyway, had good toks at the reception wid the TJC ppl n the VJC ppl. got ideas for investiture but have to write report!!! grr. dun lyk. after tat, jus fell aslp on the train. wanted to start studying frm tb stn onwards but jus fell aslp all the way frm city hall to je. haha. good rest anyway. yay. --------------------------------- Sunday, July 02, 2006 @ 10:42 pm hello. today was interesting. haha. okay. sh say i use too many "interesting". okay. den let's say today's GOOD! firstly, it's SUNDAY!! then, today do a lot of work. completed everything on the list tat i planned out last nite. yes! n some of them, jus do faster than expected. esp tat chem paper. i completed the 5 short structured qns in 45mins!! tat's super shocking la. i dunno why so fast wan. din expect it. hope on tat day itself, i'll do as fast too. den got lots of time to check, do those qns tat i skip n think thru my answers =) was looking thru tut 3 of phys n can understand. thank you Victor! den today had a good qt time! yes! n brainstorm on love..wad is it n how to show it. dun get me wrong, it's the christian love..the love tat God wants us to show. spent a longer time than usual but u noe wad? God jus blesses it. when we put God first, He'll bless us n give us wad we ask. i asked him to bless the nite later n complete the things i set out to do n He really did! yes! "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matt 6:33
today we were discussing abt cell grp on fri. sab say she may have match on fri. n then i suggested goin down to support n watch her. den after tat we can lyk sit arnd, eat food n share/fellowship wid one another lyk cell grp while eating. besides, my cell grp is all abt sharing n encouragin one another n praying. yup. i hope sab will make it to the match on fri. we were discussing abt how to go there n wad time to reach there n wad we'll do...then sab say tat we're talking as if she'll win the match tml which will determine if she'll play on fri. haha. yes! be confident gal! u muz win k? then we can change the venue to somewhere new---Kallang!! was sad tat i'll have to skip lunch wid eleena, evelyn, jennifer, deborah n evelyn's fren. they went to eat in some coffee place at stanley road. sounds so posh la. but jus can't. first, i dun drink coffee but it's okay. i can always drink something else. next, i got COMMON TESTS!!! den gotta study. stupid. den cannot go out till too late else i'll have little time to study. sigh. oh well. some other time k? i wanna be an adult... :P okay. jus tat goin to these places wid these adults jus makes me feel adult n mature which i lyk :P now the phone is hogged by my mum n grandma la!! grr. wanna call him soon!! they were lyk calling my aunts who are overseas...grr...hurry up n hang up!! :P --------------------------------- @ 12:47 am one of the first few words that babies learn to say are "papa", "mama" n "bye bye". n i wonder where the word "sorry" is taught to these young ones. next time, i would teach my child to say "papa", "mama", "sorry", "bye bye", "please" n "thank you" in tat order. sorry. this word sure isn't easy to say. so i wanna instill tat value into the child at a young age. wad comes wid this word of 5 letters is humility, confession, repentance and a promise. a promise tat u'll never do it again. yes. humility is the most impt thing. to humble oneself n admit tat he/she is wrong. it's easy to say this word when u're young. but as one gets older, pride jus gets the better of oneself n he/she jus feels hard to say tat word. i wouldn't have guessed tat i would struggle wid saying it at the age of 17. but i had to. i knew i had to say it. cos if i dun, there wouldn't be peace; between the 2 of us n in our hearts. n now, i'm jus thankful that i did.
okay. i'm glad i looked thru my maths tutorial on MI again b4 lookin thru the rev set qns. yes. den found my major mistake n attempt the qns again. this time round, can do all of them. so happy! yes! a real encouragement! =) thank you Lord den went on to prac a CT paper of 2005 the 20MCQ qns. i expected myself to finish them in 40mins but i did it in 20mins!! yes! my this year CT got hope. okay. partly cos i skipped some qns when i got stuck..din wanna spend too much time on one qn. only got 2 hrs to do one paper which consist of 20mcq qns n 5 long structured qns. it sure isn't easy completing them in 120mins. so am worried tat i'll spend too much time on MCQ. okay. goin to give myself 30mins on tat day to do MCQ n 1hr 20mins for the 5 qns. yes. den got checking time of 10 mins plus..do those qns tat i would skip. yup. tat's my plan. now staring at a "plate" tat writes "commit to the Lord whatever you do n your plans will succeed" provb 16:3 okay lord. so here's my plan. take it n bless it. okay. feeling much happier n better now. hope i'll remain this way even when i'm studying for the exams. ha. n victor say i never mention him in the prev post. okay! so here i am mentionin you: VICTOR VICTOR VICTOR!!! happy? lol. le jing met victor in KAP today. yup. victor called me immediately when he sees LJ n LJ sms me later on. ha. interesting. band prac was not too bad. improvise again. will have to improvise every time now. scared. dun wanna get scolded by uncle henry. n sumtimes jus can't get it rite. the notes. the rhythm. the keep-time. grr. but other than tat, it's good. oh! partly cos Joshua came!! yay! makes the band prac so much alive! jus love to play wid him! n the Holy Spirit too! piano lesson was interesting. teacher let us watch videos of works lyk opera. not bad. but i kept drifting in n out of slp. bad. only when teacher tok then i jerk up. other than tat, i jus drift in n out. i think i was caught by teacher for she raised her voice. lol. --------------------------------- Saturday, July 01, 2006 @ 1:34 pm HELLO JULY!! Let's see who's bday this month: Yoke Hwee (today! happy bday!), reuben (!! my dear boy), Yam Wenn (yes!) and Shu Hui (yes!), Ken, Ho Yun..i think tat's abt all. sorry if i miss out any other ppl. jus tag me n tell me yea? hmm. wanna start this month rite but apparently din do so. was so super stress ytday nite which is brought forward to today. actually felt better this morning but then, reality jus dawns on me n i feel everythig.
dunno why but today was approached by 2 ministry leaders of my church la. one wants me to lead in prayer tml but i decline. i'm not even in the "right" mind to do so la. me being so moody, stress up n upset n piss...i jus can't do it. so sad to decline if not, i would gladly do so. it's jus a prayer wid all my heartfelt words. sigh. another wants me to mend the book stall. i know it's a bit impossible to decline so jus take it up lor. hope i'll serve wid a good heart n able to find ppl. really hope i can get ppl. sigh. another thing tat adds to my stress..... grr. so super stress over GP. din prepare much. keep fallin aslp while reading notes. n never prac much. no one to check my work anyway. no one pro in GP to help me. den i dunno if the introduction/conclusion i form is correct or not. the body i can handle but jus dun lyk the intro part. i dun wanna get stuck immediately after i get all my points out. sometimes, i jus dunno wad's the first word/phrase. stupid. i'm jus stupid. plus got chem. den have to do some more prac esp the chem paper frm past years. grr. i wanna complete them! n then, the paper itself is 2hrs wid 20 MCQs n 5 structured qns! hope i can finish the paper n get an A!!! i need tat A! i wanna do H3 chem. i think it'll be super fun n super interesting! learn abt the many things...unseen rite now. it's jus interesting to see n learn more abt a particular thing. yes. man. now i really want it. den maths. i want tat H3 maths too. been eyeing at it since i was young. prob in sec sch. can say is influence by mum. n can say tat i want to be challenged. but then, muz learn to handle these challenges. last nite did Mathematical Induction n got soooooo stuck la! grr. hate it. hate getting stuck. did it till 1 plus am last nite for 2 hours la. i wanna solve the qns. jus dunno how to derive. argh! it's not tat i can't apply concept, it's jus tat can't solve. can't get the final answer. stupid. but actually, looking at the JC1 cohort, the scholars really frighten me. i think they'll take up all/at least most of the places for the H3s la. they're lyk so hardworking n smart. deny us a chance of taking H3. hmph. i dun lyk it. sorry if i offend any scholars reading this...it's jus my feelings --------------------------------- |
