beauty. hmm. not trying to copy wad victor wrote but it was something tat i was learning for the past week? yea..arnd there cos reading a book now. but reading it jus makes me feel upset all over esp aft "tat" happened. but still wanna tok abt it. it's so wow la. learnin n discovering it.

ain't goin to tell u everything tat was written abt it but rather wad i learnt. beauty invites, not demands. it's tough for me. they gave examples: askin good qns invites ppl to tok. but it's tough for me cos sometimes, i dunno, my qns jus seems demanding? to some it is, to others it isn't? in some situations it is, but not to other situations? i dunno but i wanna learn tat. i wanna learn how to show tat beauty---how to invite others n not demand. tough journey ahead.

also learnt tat beauty is best seen when she is at rest. ah...a tough one for me but somehow, somewhere down my history lane n deep down inside i know it. i know tat when any woman is at rest, she is beautiful. i have a vivid memory of it too. lyk an experience. a touch. a glimpse of wad it means when the author say tat beauty is seen when she's at rest. n i want it. Lord, the world is competitve now. but teach me to be at rest at times so i can invite others to take a rest too. i know i haven't been doing so--pushing ppl n all but change me lord. i know i'm wrong.

wad else abt beauty? tat it has always been in every woman's heart cos God put it there. n it's an image of God too. yeah. nice. comforting. sigh. beauty...behold God's great beauty is the best. show me everyday wad my beauty is Jesus!

today, many gals din turn up. only she n i came to sch. well, some can say it's a good opportunity. tat's the first tot tat came to my mind n my mum's mind too but....well...things din turn out tat way. u cld say i was close-up. or u cld say she was close-up. but either way, i'll jus comment on my tots n her actions. well. greeted her n try to tok to her but she still lyk gave me tat look. i dunno wad look. she did look at me when she talks but cld sense a barrier. perhpas i'm thinking too much but i'm a gal u know, i can sense things. when i ask her qns, she jus gave me a one-word answer. is tat all? u used to tok alot to me. so can sense la tat she din wanna tok to me.

thruout the entire day, jus sat beside the guys la. feel kinda flirt but wad can i do? he doesn't want me to sit beside him. early in the morning, when i ask politely whether i can sit beside him, he say no. i dun blame him or hold anything against him. it's his choice. his feelings. his opinion. his request n i respect it. den she kept taggin wid him so hardly get chance to tok to her la. so jus sat beside the guys. but had a good time. sat beside wei liang, joshua, sufi, ming xian n praveen. yeah. tat's all. it was nice la. can tok to them at times. was walking up to classroom wid adi n exclaiming to him tat he do his maths tut so fast la! haha. but i dunno. dun wanna be seen as a flirt. sigh. oh well. all to God's hands.

jus wish things wld be back to normal? wad's normal anyway? hmm...back to...similar to last time where we jus talk n chat happily. but was thinking today if it's my part--tat it's me who's creating a barrier. somehow, dun feel lyk putting in the effort already..esp to tok to her. jus felt kinda disappointed. ain't telling why here. but well, told myself n the lord tat i dun wanna tok to her abt it. jus gonna put it in God's hands. yup. okay. gtg. see ya arnd