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Friday, January 12, 2007 @ 11:26 pm i will cherish everything gratefully...
i saw those words on my good fren's msn nick jus now...makes me think: have i been treasuring and cherishing everything gratefully...and i mean EVERYTHING and GRATEFULLY? sigh. well, these few days ain't good for me. well, in terms of mentally, i'm tired and slightly drained. house com, minutes, academic studies, h3 maths, studies, expectations, admins, reading of daily work...it ain't easy. then everytime go for hse meeting, the calendar always come out n i'll see all the dates already marked down..rehearsals and deadlines. thank God tat i'm not one of the heads but it's tiring and painful to see them. sigh. he's in camp now. can hardly tok to him. when i wanna share my stress and my burden, jus can't. den i'll turn to God. actually, i'm in the wrong. i shldn't turn to victor first b4 turning to God. it shld be the other way round. gonna change that. well, i guess, hearing frm wad my fren wrote on the nick, i guess i'd better look at things in a different light and give thanks. well, some things are clear-cut: lyk my class n GP class, yong hui, ansley, danny, still can do daily rev, got thru for H3 maths selection test, mtgs.. yet, i guess, the real challenge is to give thanks admist all the difficulties and tough times that i'm goin thru. this evenin when i was returning home, i was super stress. had lotz to do. i know. generated a list of 11 items during geog lesson and added another 2 more when i reached home. when i really sat down, b4 i start my work, i prayed for God's strength to see me thru even jus one nite. and yes He did! i sat down n slowly lay my 13 items carefully and see things clearly. and while i'm studying, i ain't very stressed and tired. jus took one step at a time n trusting in the Lord. thank God. hmm..these few days God spoke to me abt trust too. esp on the day when i got the results for my H3. well, one may expect me to be happy. yes, i was. but only for a moment. the real set-back came when i told my mum and she ain't happy. it then started a whole chain of asking teachers for advice. then, it led to too many advices till i get frustrated, upset and stressed. yet, thank God for the 4 teachers, 2 seniors and 1 youth leader who helped me out, cared for me and shared this burden with me. esp my youth leader who said she'll pray for me. it's nice to know tat someone's praying for me...comforting. but, it's even nicer to hear assuring words frm God where he told me to trust him. thank you lord. stepping out in faith tml? i'm not sure when i shld tell my decision. tml or mon?? hmm...i guess i have to tok to mum one more time. blessing. blessin frm parents. sigh. it's nice to go with blessings frm them...yet are they willing to give? sometimes i wonder if it's them who's not listening to wad God has to say to them or is it really God telling them not to let me go for it...sigh...which one Lord? if it's really the former, then i pray tat u open their hearts and help them to see that u'll take care of me, tat i'll always be in yr arms, safe and sound n my parents need not be over-protective... --------------------------------- Tuesday, January 02, 2007 @ 7:54 am It's the start of a NEW YEAR 2007!!!!
Yay! an interesting and challengin year ahead (i'm expecting). with my A's and youth and house com (muz make a mark and have memorable memories) and many other things =) welcoming this new year knowing that the Lord will be with me =) yea. he will be. i'm sure of that! Well, to back-track a little, work was good. earned quite an amount of money. i've to count. but spent quite a bit too. on Chirstmas presents etc. well, the whole work experience was not too bad. did i learn anything? a little on how to run a business. and co-ordinate with the boss etc. but not so much on PR. the nxt time in my 6mths break, i wanna have 2 jobs. change job for every 3 mths. i think. can't be stickin to the same job for 6 mths. bleah. kinda boring. and hopefully try something different from admin. maybe, if possible, go overseas to work aft collecting my A level results in feb and return b4 uni starts. but i'll miss those guys entering NS aft feb. wun be able to send them off. well, ytday was quite an interesting one. had a good cry. n had a good fren who explained things to me and soothed me. indeed, things will be different btw us but i hope the basic thing call "frenship" will not be lost. n hopefully the 4-letter word starting with L will not be lost either. Trust God. These few days, really thank God. first, thank God tat Samantha (my church one) did not go to bangkok this week. she was plannin to but in the end she din go. thankfully she din else alot of ppl will be worried. there was a bomb blast rite? in bangkok on new year's eve. yea. scary. second, thanks God for letting me complete the budget and plannin of the year-end party. thank God for seein me thru the almost break-down session. third, thank God tat somehow i began to tok more to some of my classmates towards the end of the hols. really thank God for tat as it was a big encouragement. forth, thank God for the year-end party. though the turn-out wasn't wad i expected but thank God for it tat there were some ppl and we enjoyed ourselves. jus kinda sad tat i din bring camera and so din take any photos. but photos will all be in my mind. erm. turn up was 16 ppl. tat's alot. with 2 new frens =) Games played: guesstures (which all of us love), uno attack, mahjong and winning eleven. matt brought his projector la! imagine that! and he project the whole soccer show on the screen. haha. and i managed to borrow mahjong tiles frm aunty janet. nice playing. and uno attack was fun with quite a number of ppl haven't seen this machine b4. guesstures was definintely fun. split up into grps and the guys were competitive. i'm glad victor went. had fun too. seeing how he interacts with my youths so well. hmm. muz learn frm him and thank God for his gift. and had a good time chatting and reflecting and praying and sharing. yar. keep trying yr best and put in yr best into it k? and then, let the Holy Spirit do the rest. thanks for your sharing tat day, victor! okay. i guess tat's all i gotta say. this year, 07, feb is gonna be a hectic time for me. with 4 dry-runs of CNY. i hope my studies wun fail. please Lord, grant me strength and the willingness to share with my frens any struggles i'm goin thru at that point of time esp since victor will not be tat available. Lord, i know you are here! you are there too! be it the present or the future of the nxt second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year. i know you are there! you are omni-present and you will see me thru every single phrase of my life. you will put all things in place in accordance to your Will and for that, i thank you and praise you! praise you tat you have everything lined out for me. that you know what you are doing and you know that you are doing it for my own good and in my best interest. yes lord, this year may not be smooth sailing for me. besides, when it is smooth sailing, when do i learn to grow spiritually? so Lord, i pray tat i'll rmb your promises and claim on them. rmb tat you are faithful to us and so i'll be faithful to you too. rmb tat you first love me and so i love you back and share this great love to those arnd us. lord, in this new year, i pray tat you'll continue to be with me and let yr face shine upon me and tat i may reflect you. teach me to love my frens more each day and help me to grow in maturity. help me thru my prep for A's and thru the A's period. and help me to love you more and more. i love you Lord! --------------------------------- |