it was awesome! the worship was good. esp the night service. sy rogers spoke well esp for the 1st msg. the most wonderful thing was God speaking to me! through the magazine (vantage point complimentary copy), one of the workshop and the msg tat sy toked about. wad are they??

1. open-palm policy. be open, prepared and ready when God takes away something from you (in terms of rs). and tat's so super true for me. it echoed wad uncle clarence told me and gave me one final push me into letting go. yea. that hard long decision and willpower and effort tat i have to put in for the past one week
2. running TO God and not from Him when i have dirty/unclean thoughts...i also apply it to any other thoughts tat are not pleasing to Him!
3. God's character! yea! it's God's character tat gives me the hope tat i can have hope in Him and tat He'll see me through all the seasons of my life because he is a responsible God tat will direct our paths!

I also went forward to ask for prayers. was actually standing in front looking lost but glad one aunty/helper of eagles came forward and paryed with me. she told me about the torchlight story. let me share wid you. it goes like this. in a dark room and you have a torchlight. not the very good brand kind so it can't shine far. and then, when you shine in front of you, you can only see wad you are stepping on and maybe arnd 3 steps ahead, sometimes 2 or sometimes 1. but everytime you move forward 1 step, your torchlight can shine 1 more step ahead of you. similarly, the torchlight is like God. He won't reveal His entire plan to you but shows and guides you one step at a time. He will give you just enough light you need to see you through each day or tat particular moment of a few hours, a day, a week...all we nid to do is to trust him. how true this story is. it really encourages my heart. was smsing her tat night, thanking her and her reply is really encouraging also. she said she'll continue to pray for me as i lift up my hurts, disappointments, struggles and dreams to God. and reminded me tat no tear tat falls from my eyes will escape from His sight. wow..i tell you, she's like a God-sent angel to me! it's so awesome and amazing! this encounter! really thank God for her. and it's the first time when i write down my church name and someone recognises it. she was at GB HQ last time when we were there. her church was sharing the same building and worshipping at a level above us :) aunty siew ting. tat's her name.

at some point in time during the conference, no doubt, i suddenly feel an urge to tok to victor. to tell him wad i'd learnt and wad was taught to me tat will also help him in his sturggles and spiritual walk. but i can't. i was debating whether i shld email him. but towards the end, i gave up the notion cos i believe this is wad God is bringing me through and teaching me--to let go. and wad i can do is to trust God tat He will teach and guide and show victor wad i'd learnt in His own time and His own way. esp in His own way. so jus drop it. at first it wasn't easy but now it feels alright. jus trust him. no doubt. wad i wld have said to victor will help him alot and guide him but jus gotta let go and trust in God. jus hope and pray tat for some of his issues/problems tat i used to hold him accountable to, he'll find another one to account to and to keep him in check for i believed tat accountability we had helped him. also, during the workshop, sy was also talking about accountability.

oh. jus to give you all a bit of background. sy is a good speaker. international also. so some of you may have heard him. he was a gay but now has turned straight, is a pastor, married, got a 21-year-old daughter who is getting married nxt week and goes arnd the world giving talks and seminars. he has lived in asia region for about 7 years and so can speak some malay and the singlish style of "la" which adds humor to his talk. he's reputable, reliable and can be trusted. he also referes to passages in the bible. and the most interesting thing is tat he uses psychology and biology to explain some of his points. like he wld first tok about a certain part of psychology/biology, explain in tat context and then link it back to God, saying tat if it works for our body, it will also work for our souls. some of the concepts i already know and to link them to biology/psychology jus wows me more. jus makes me wanna praise and thank God for being such an awesome God who has everything planned out for us, humans, his beloved, his Personal Concern.

other things tat i learnt is tat a marriage is bound to fail.....unless time and effort is put in. very true. needless to explain. and based on research, there is this 5:1 ratio tat the speaker (a divorce counsellor) encourages us to keep both b4 and after marriage. it means 5 positive/happy moments to 1 negative/unhappy moments. lyk jokes, laugh, enjoying time tgt versus quarrels. he was encouragin us to balance and keep to the ratio. or the frenship/relationship amy turn bitter. it was very true. experienced it b4 when there were more quarrels and arguments than jus simply enjoying each other's company and presence.

today's sermon was good too! talked about King David and how he spared Saul's life. it taught us about revenge. reminded me how revenge is God's and not for us. how God will eventually judge the evil ones and those who mistreat us. taught me tat i have to be not angry and seek to punish tat person myself. also about forgiveness. it's nice. yea man.

thank you lord for teachin me all these.

going for GDOP youth session only. wanna see how it's like. AOG band will be leading. cool. i hope it'll be very youth. haha. yesterday i sing till i got a sore throat..till my throat hurts, actually. haha. but it was nice worshipping and praising God. jus hope i'll be able to conc on my work later on. and pray for jeremy. his exams round the corner. the final one. his a levels. ha. fast.. take care man in UK!