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Thursday, June 28, 2007 @ 8:24 pm i guess it's the end. some things are better left untouched and unseen (literally). sigh. it's really sad tat things have to end up this way. haha. reminds me of wad Charles' reaction was when i said tat, tat day. sigh. oh well. i guess i gotta move on n really let go man. let go of things...oh toking abt let go...yup yup. goin to cover tat later...but first..........
CHEM PAPER 2 WAS EASY! haha. i believe many others think so.. at least most of the gals in my class. i'd time to check n go toilet too! haha. i rushed through paper 1. but i still had time at the end to do some of the qns i'm not sure of. n noe wad? section B has so many answers involving Bs n Ds tat i started getting worried n keep checking aft every qn. but when i checked wid wei liang n yh, i was on the safe side..yay. well, for GP, paper 1 was nice. at first i got a shock that there isn't a science n tech qn n i tot i was getting into trouble. but when i saw the last qn, i was on the safe side. n i'm glad i revised how to do a "should" qn yesterday :) compre qns were hard but i muz comment on the passage n applaud the author. he raises good points abt waging war! one was tat wars, directly or indirectly, allow us to accept the killings n destructions done to another country as a norm. how true! another point tat caught my eye is tat we are now smarter but not wiser than our ancestors. we are jus merely substituting the power weapons for spears. how right! haha. it's a really good point! really love it man! but i was annotating the passage tat i spent 20mins reading it! but at the end of it, i was so looking forward to AQ man. haha. but i think i'll still do badly for this paper 2. boo. oh well. but it gave me n yh a topic to tok abt during lunch. abt wars n singapore n end of the world. haha. he watched left behind too. oh! at first, when i started reading the guidance book tat evelyn gave me, i was wondering if it'll impact me as much as the wisdom words book n whether i'll learn much. but i'm in for a treat man! the past 4-5 chaps tat i read totally WOW me! it taught me so SO much! from God's character, to wad we are destined for, to true repentence, to active faith! awesome! can't wait to continue reading N acting on it! nice! :) --------------------------------- Monday, June 25, 2007 @ 9:24 am Great! so khalis got into officer course in SCDF! way to go man! still an officer eh? woohoo..but i wonder why u are goin home tonight..i hope it doesn't mean u are sick...n charles got into sispec. okay. he's aiming for a crossover. glad his rash is better now. esp aft that jab. haha. wid these 2 guys sick over the past few weeks, i find myself so much lyk a mother. asking how they are almost every moment i can, n everyday. sometimes i jus find myself too much. but lyk wad i was telling khalis last nite, it's in me, actually. it's in me to care n be concerned. esp over ppl who are not well..
okay. u may wonder why i'm here online so early. i got no paper today! dun mistake me for an econ person k? I'M A GEOG STUDENT! so i will end a day later than u all econs ppl. boo. sigh. wondering how i'm goin to spend tat thur man. i do so feel lyk goin out. but wid who? dunno. anyway, all the best for this afternooon's econs papers, guys! jus realised tat i was literally grounded to my house last week! except for tat cycling trip up to bukit timah hill. wah. i can't believe it man. but it was productive to a certain extent. haha. well, at least it means tat i din spend a single cent last week! i jus calculated, i have half of my allowance left for the remaining week. so i think i'll prob use some of the money to buy something for someone. dunno who. dunno wad. but hope to bless someone wid something :) oh ya! forgot there's the HP bill of around $30 to pay up. bleah. so tat means i'm left wid $30. sigh. can't buy a book then..gotta buy something else..sigh..okay. gtg back to studying! bye... --------------------------------- Saturday, June 23, 2007 @ 5:26 pm wad should u do about your past? leave your past behind, mask it, try to destroy it, forget it, and then move on? or shld it be learning how to cope wid the past while moving on?
well, one thing's for sure when i speak frm experience, u can never forget the past. never forget the memories, the laughters, the going-outs. n there is no doubt tat when u see the person again, be it 2 or 3 years later, these images will flood back. it'll stay in one forever. it'll be etched in one's mind. it'll jus be a matter of how often these memories surface, how much impact these memories will make at that point of time n how one responses to it. whenever i cross paths (literally) wid this other guy, memories n images of the past still flood back despite us not talking for 2 years since tat incident. initially, i avoided him. tried to go the other way. but after a while, i told myself tat i can't go on lyk tat. i gotta face it. face him n start toking to him. so yes, we do talk, a little. n when i do, i try not to think of the past lest it hinders the present. n i believe tat's the response tat will yield positive outcome. dun u think so? or do u have other things to add?? well, jus found another phys tuition teacher. nah. i'm not goin to quit my caravan tuition there. it's good over there. jus tat i nid a private teacher. to answer any qns tat i shoot. she's an ex ACJC teacher. great! n she stays in my condo so it saves on my travelling time. i know, it sounds lyk i'm very rich to be able to afford 2 tuitions. but no. rather, i'm jus grateful tat my family is willing to pay for the tuitions n willing to put in tat much for my education. i guess it's only right tat i repay them back by doing well for physics then. n i will pay back the money, mum. when i work, be it temp or permanent, i'll give back a portion to u.. jus wanna add..i'm starting to miss my classmates already...all the best for yr econs papers guys! n see u on tue! --------------------------------- Thursday, June 21, 2007 @ 10:18 am hey. been a few days since i last posted eh? well. i do have a few things to say. hope i can do it fast. had a great time-out ytday! cycling to bukit timah hill, park bike there, walk up the hill to the summit. take photos. chats on the way down. cycle back at lyk 6plus close to 7pm. well, jus wanna say thanks for giving me new perspectives to things. n i tell u, it's ever so nice to be able to chat n tok to you..be it crapping/randomness or real serious discussions. hope quin can join us nxt time! more ppl, more fun! well, the trip up to the hill was tiring. din noe there were so many up-slopes. den i cycled till my knees hurt n looked swollen. den, i had to dismount n push the bike up. boo. then, the seat was too high so my lower back aches. n u noe my lower back is weak. sigh. but thank God it ain't hurting now. jus my arms. haha. wad an exercise!
well, i keep having so many battles these days. over the same issue. every morning, i wake up feeling down n out n upset. jus now i told myself it was enough. i'm crazy. i'm lyk bouncing up n down. convicted for one moment, den falling the nxt moment. wad's wrong wid me?! i hope i'm not returnin back to square-one. then, i decided to read all my previous entries tat i blogged n hopefully will be able to identify wid some of them n gain some encouragement. yes. indeed, i had. some. esp when i write abt God's Word. ps 13, provb 3:5-6. God's character tat He is responsible n will direct my path. in His own time n His own way. hope. run TO God n not from Him. yea. it was really encouraging for me. n yes, Lord, indeed, i dun wanna keep falling. n most certainly not go back to where it began. was reading the QT passage ytday n it was nice. 2Cor 3:1-11. key verse 5. it concluded by telling us tat in God's strength we find all we need to navigate the storms of life in this turbulent world. indeed, how true it is. so no matter wad, must rely on God n not on our own understanding n our own way. not imaginin things n devising plans without first consulting God. well, yes. u can devise plans, we have to be planners also n not sit n lay back, but also, muz not forget God n check whether the intentions of the plans are aligned wid God's. hmm. i dunno where i got this from but i rmb tat someone taught me this principle when i was younger n it had been etched in my mind cos i cldn't understand tat passage in Matt 5/6 tat toks abt this. here's an interesting poem: All that I need He will always be
i was reading this book on parent-teen conflict the other day n learn quite a no of things. n i apply them not jus to parent-teen but to friend-friend conflict! yup. tat's all. it's interesting n an eye-opener. shifted my perspective from avoiding conflicts totally, nibbing it right in the bud, to learning to handle it instead n transform it into opportunity for learning. on the last note, jus wanna say tat u've always been in my prayers..every night.. --------------------------------- Sunday, June 17, 2007 @ 9:15 pm Reach by S-club 7
When the world leaves you feeling blue
We've got to all stick together
Reach for the stars
There's a place waiting just for you (just for you)
Don't stop gotta keep moving
Reach for the stars
Don't believe in all that you've been told
I said reach
Reach for the stars
Jus wanna dedicate the above song, to several ppl. jus as wad the lyrics of the song says, they were the ones tat see me through this period of time n give me hope n the courage to move on wid life...thanks man! KHALIS! yea man! thanks for always being by me for the past weeks, rather, months! yea..months. thanks for listening to my ups n downs, my stories, my problems n even those spiritual stuffs although i felt a bit awkward but u din. thanks for hanging out n chillin out wid me. thanks for de-stressing me n helping me through my studies. thanks for all the advices u gave although they were sometimes blunt n direct. haha. but tat's you! n i know u meant well for me! thanks for being my fren, man! a great pal! CHARLES! hey man! thanks for listening out to me the past few times. more importantly, thanks for being there when i needed someone who's a christian. i'm glad i was able to share wid you stories on how n wad God has been doing in my life, touching me through various means. n i realised something, whenever we talk about something spiritual, your face somehow radiates :) n we can tok quite a bit on it. yea. it's also great man, to hear spiritual encouragement n advices from you. for reminding me abt my blog's theme: everything in its time. abt trusting him etc. n also abt "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" ecc 3:1. was thinking about deaths again last night n this verse tat u gave me indeed encouraged n comforted me. thanks. well, most importantly, thanks for keeping me in your prayers..thanks alot! STEPHANIE! thanks gal for being someone whom i can tok to. i still remember the last time we went out tgt for lunch n study. it was nice! haha. yea. thanks for being a fren whom i can tok to! n laugh n joke about :) it's great knowing you! ***
Well, jus wanna say tat the past few times weren't easy to handle. struggled alot. heart aches alot. cried jus now also. u know who n wad i'm referring to. i know i have to trust Him n be patient. i guess there were many reasons to it. save the last dance song played on 2 different radio stn n i heard them. the email tat gave me hope. the waiting yet no reply. the anxiousness. grr. i think it may be the anxiousness. today was playing corrine may's song on everything in its time..one part of the lyrics tat speak most to me is this: "i promise you, the answer will come. hold on to patience n watch for the signs, everything in its time". and then again, when i was doing my QT, flipped n saw Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God". i believe it's about patience on my part too. *heave a sigh* tat's my weakness: impatience. i tend to be impatient. well. gotta change n let God reveal Himself strong in me through my weakness :) pray for me k? thanks alot. well, also wanna say tat the God-sent angel, aunty siew teng, also encouraged me alot today when i gave her an update via sms! it's nice man. absolutely nice to tok to Christians n be blessed by them! i wonder when u n i cld bless each other too... --------------------------------- Saturday, June 16, 2007 @ 2:03 pm Quote: Our afflictions are not designed to break us but to bring us closer to God
An excerpt from my diary:
Sharon! So what if you jumped from D to A?! so wad if you got an A for promos n BT1?! this BT2 is going to get you if you keep having that complacent attitude!! God gave u Victor that taught u about complacency last year. n Khalis too! why didn't you take heed?! must you be taught a lesson before you wake up? open you eyes wider n learn!!! so i sat down jus now n go through in my head if it's concept or careless mistake. n think of wad to do now. go prac on the weak topics--from the prelim papers. so ring up nigel n joel. well, nigel don't have but joel has--'03 papers. but nvm. i'll take whatever that comes. getting from him tml. n i WILL n i MUST sit down n prac them no matter wad. i think i hang out n chill out too much for the past 3 weeks. acutally, not alot but some nights were indeed burned. so nxt week, the last week, no goin out unless you are meeting teachers! you hear that, Sharon? You're grounded!!! *** Proverbs 3:5-6
I DON'T WANT! I DON'T WANT TO GET GOOD RESULTS ON MY OWN; IN MY OWN WAY! I WANT YOU LORD!!
*end of excerpt* yes. indeed. i was reading the Bible after i'd marked the paper, cried, scold myself n talked to myself n reflected. doin my usual QT. but i know i'm not doing it outta routine, i'm doing it cos i know God can speak to me. i know He'll have something to teach me, whether it is related to this issue or not. more importantly, i was looking n knowing tat He'll speak to me about it. i jus wanted to set aside time to talk to him n be away from my studies. as usual, i write down wad happened in my spiritual journal. to keep track. to let God speak to me while i write. to jot down my thoughts. when i flipped open bible to turn to psalm 119, the page that opened was on prov 3:5-6. the famous 2 verses. but i highlighted it on my bible so it stood out n caught my eye. i read it again. still. n felt that God was speaking to me through tat verse. but, nevertheless, i continued flipping to Psalms 119:65-72. read it. n read wad the QT material said. the psalms was talking about affliction. key verse: 71. Psalm 119:71.
the material went on to explain tat the psalmist can learn from painful circumstances. n that his circumstance teaches him to value the Word of God. the material then went on to encourage us to thank God for the life lessons i'm abt to learn if i'm facing a prob today. n reminded us tat God is sovereign..even over "the school of hard knocks". AMEN! then, the quote tat i wrote on top was the quote tat was written in the material. n it was this quote that makes me fall down to my knees n turn to God in prayer. so there was a 2nd part to the my diary entry. indeed Lord, you are sovereign. you know wad we are goin through. every single phrase of our lives. n when you bring us through fire, it's to teach us something. more importantly, it's for us to draw closer to you, to depend on you, to acknowledge that you are the only one that can help...tat has the power to help us. even though it means tat at the end of the day, the results are not wad i want, i know n can take comfort in knowing tat you have a hand in this n you have a plan for me. a plan tat will build up your kingdom here on earth, a plan that will bring glory to you n a plan that will please you. indeed Lord, i don't want to do things on my own. to lean on my own understanding. for anyone who goes against your plans fail..it'll not be pleasing to you. no one can go against your plan. n Lord, because of all the "because"s i wrote in my diary, i will trust in you. i will turn to you. lead me n guide me Lord in my life, especially for now in the area of studies. n Father, thanks for speaking to me through your Word last night... I love you! Jeremiah 29:11
God is good. He really is. n He loves His children very much. thank you Lord for not leavin me alone to face this situation. thanks for speaking to me. Hebrews 13:5b
*** jus a word to my boy (u know who u are):
*** jus wanna say that it was nice helpin out at the You Are Special kids party at a condo nearby. the movie they also screened is "you are special" by Max Lucado. yea..tat awesome writer! thank God for him! n through tat short children's movie, i learnt something important. it's not through good works tat you are special. but it's because God made you n He never makes a mistake when He made you. you have your own special talents n passions. different from others, or some may be the same. but nevertheless, unique in God's own special way. so take pride. no matter wad the outcome will be, wad other ppl think or say, wad circumstances you encounter tat may bring you down, God loves you n you are special in His eyes...always... --------------------------------- Wednesday, June 13, 2007 @ 12:19 am hey ya...well, jus feel tat i really hurt someone. n for that, i'm sorry. okay. moving on, i went out wid stephanie today!! (12 june, tuesday) yea..it was nice to see her again. we went breeks for lunch. it's her first time there n i'm glad she liked it. we both find tat the price is reasonable. $10 for a 4-course lunch including service n GST charges. there are only 4 choices. so the nxt time i go there, well, there ain't many choices left.
we then went esp library to study. well, there sure is alot of ppl! unexpected. nxt time can't go there during hols to study already. unless i go early. so we sat at the dance room there. but got several noisy n talkative ppl behind me. sigh. so put on my new headphones! it really worked! can reduce noise so can't hear wad the noisy ppl are saying. she asked me a maths qn n i cldn't solved it on the spot. was quite discouraged. so even when i went for toilet breaks n on the bus home, i was still thinking of the qn! then, suddenly, i did it!! was walking up the slope at my condo then think a bit harder n almost got it. i tot a method. so when i reached home, took a paper n pencil n calculator started working on it...n there it is! i got it!! yay! i was so happy! taught stephanie on the phone :) yes! i did it! i was so happy. perhaps, i'm different frm victor in the sense tat i can't do any qns thrown to me on the spot. but, well, at least i dun have the give-up spirit for maths, jus lyk him! :) yea..it was really encouraging n taught me not to give up. u dun give up too, gal, k? then we went on to eat at gelare..half priced waffle. treated her. it's nice. both treating her n the waffle itself. jus tat kinda regretted not buying the bigger piece since both of us are sharing. we finished it in less than 10 mins la! hee. n we both agreed tat on usual days, the small waffle is really very expensive...yup. it was great goin out wid u gal! haha. study hard for common test k?n dun do badly lyk wad happen to me! oh. then QT time i went to sit at a special place. found the lights in the pavilion too dim n got the flying insects. so i sat at the steps leading down to the upper waterfall. the bright light tat shines onto the steps? yea..used tat to shine onto the Bible n read it. it's nice to be there. the sound of the waterfall. the sight. jus tat it does feel a bit coup-up although it is open-air above me. but tell u wad, whenever a plane flys by, the whole surrounding around me is totally not wad i lyk. the sound jus echoes between the 2 walls beside me n make such loud n booming n low sound tat i dun really lyk. pretty scary. at first i tot wad it is. but aft a while, guessed it was jus a plane flying by n the sound echoing between the 2 walls. k den. it was good time spent there n then. well, but still. i wanna share something relating to tat place. it's lyk God was whisperin tat to me tat day. when i was choosing tat special place n letting tat light shine on the Bible, the light tat shone on the words were so much brighter than the lights at the pavillion. n wad was insightful is this: jus as i nid the light to shine on the pages so i can read better, so we nid God's light to shine on His Word n our hearts when we read the bible..to give us insight n wisdom n the understanding we nid! awesome right? thank you Lord for telling me tat! nice :) okay..pretty late..gotta go slp already...nitez! n get well soon khalis! --------------------------------- Thursday, June 07, 2007 @ 2:10 pm Heys! It's 07/06/07!!! 7th June 2007. So I tot i'd better post something here online b4 i miss this date. it only happens once! n i'm waiting for 1 month later for 07/07/07! it'll be nice =)
Well, actually, i still lyk my prev post where i put psalms 13. it's such a BE-A-U-TIFUL psalm! so wad shall i say here? okay. i guess, for today, i jus wanna put poems up which i copied from Our Daily Bread. hope no one sues me for doing so! On trust:
On comfort:
On gratefulness:
On discernment n decisions:
Amen! --------------------------------- Monday, June 04, 2007 @ 11:31 am Check this out! Psalm 13
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been good to me.
It's super cool man! i was reading this psalm the other day during QT and God really spoke to me. in the time when i was down and out. Yea. God used this psalm to speak to me; that so reflected wad i was feeling, yet, teaching me a lesson..teaching me something valuable, reminding me of something tat i was taught the week b4. in the material it says, the circumstance of your struggles will not diminish the character of God and His love and care for us! Do you see that? awesome! it echoes wad I learnt in iHope about character of God..trusting Him, that He has a plan, that He knows wad's goin on in my life and how i feel and that I'm his Personal Concern...nice! then, on Sunday, the guest speaker also preached on this passage. tellin us that we can experience His unfailing love through:
Nice :) thank you Lord! *** Dunno...been distracted jus now until i jus jus saw another email. okay. dunno if i shld reply. haha. still debating. dun wanna reply then make a mistake and regret doing so. bleah. oh well. jus dun wanna get distracted anymore. i was alright n better already until the whole thing started...sigh...and it's worse to know tat i'd started it :P bringing myself into the pitfall. ha. oh well. had a great day out wid khalis 2 nites ago, i think. dinner n shopping at Lot One. nice. haha. so much fun la! it's nice being wid a fren whom u can tok to, joke arnd, have fun wid n look at things together. he bought a burms. looked arnd at pasar malam. it's been a real long time tat i've been there. then, took a bus home. nice...it was nice toking to him again esp since he's in army now. n also he got prayers to do at nite. feeling bad tat every nite i toked to him n sometimes he end up not being able to say his prayers tat nite but gotta wake up earlier the nxt mornin to do so. sorry man! anyway, now's yr SOC! go go!! den your 24km route march eh? yea man! then it's POP!! =) smiles.... --------------------------------- Saturday, June 02, 2007 @ 11:56 am hey..have u ever had a time in your life when you feel ppl are playing wid you? and i mean, toying wid your feelings and making you go round in circles...leading you here and there..dumping you and then wanting you again? i hate it when ppl do that. makes me super angry with the person. makes me feel so worthless. it feels lyk i dun have a say in wad's going to take place. makes me feel so disrespected. first, you raise my hope. next you crush it whenever u lyk it and more than once. then, you attempt/hint at raising it up again. n trust me, i'm not goin to fall for tat trick again. i dun think anyone shld keep tat kinda frenship, rite? not worth calling tat person "my fren" if tat person does this kind of things to you, is it?
"Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes', and your 'No', 'No'..." Matt 5:37. integrity in words. keep the promises you make. and dun make false promises and assurances. if you are unsure if you can keep them or have no confidence, den don't promise! n when you say i'll try, make sure you try. if you say wait, i'll do it later. make sure you wait and do it later. tat was wad i learnt in ytday's cell grp. intention of the heart. actions. speaks so true of me. and speaks so true of another. no wonder it hurts the other party so much when one does not keep to his/her promises. --------------------------------- |