din know why tat song jus came to my mind. but it's nice to know the full lyrics and hear the song in full =) i lyk the rhythm and melody. tat's all. i dunno if the lyrics reflects my heart but i dun think so yet. at least for now. i'm jus enjoying the lyrics. enjoy it too!
had a great! dinner wid my phys clique ytday! it was wonderful! although the famous claypot rice stall wasn't opened, we ate in another coffee shop claypot rice. it was okay. the 3 of them thanked me too. u r welcome guys! i'm jus glad we had a good time! and towards the end, when we left a few mouths, none of us want it. so we played open numbers and slowly finsh the mouths of rice aft several rounds. n i kanah twice! ha! we were also telling lame jokes. had a good laugh. haha.
oh! b4 the dinner, ji chen n david din manage to sit beside me n hui ming. so they sat somewhere behind. then, once in a while, jus turn to look at them. haha. david was wearing his specs. n boy! he looks pretty handsome n studious! haha. was telling hui ming. then, she asked me to tell him but tat's no way! if not, it'll be awkward for the both of us. haha. but well, been noticing guys tat are handsome. so it's nothing special. every other gal also does tat...i hope david isn't reading this! lol
anyway, yesterday was sure one night tat will be etched in my mind. i hope tat God will also use me to reach out to them..reach out to my clique. i wanna do more than jus organising eat-outs and meet-ups. there is a greater purpose for me in this. i'm sure He brought me this group of frens to cross my path for a purpose. i'm sure! =) cheers!
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@ 6:52 pm
Dying inside to hold you
It's turning out just another day
I took a shower and I went on my way
I stopped there as usual
Had a coffee and pie
When I turned to leave
I couldn't believe my eyes
Standing there I didn't know what to say
Without one touch
We stood there face to face
(And) I was dying indside to hold you
I couldn't believe what I felt for you
Dying inside I was dying inside
But I couldn't bring myself to touch you
You said hello then you asked my name
I didn't know if I should go all the way
Inside I felt my life have really changed
I knew that it would never be the same
Standing there I didn't know what to say
First time looked away when I whispered your name
One hello changed my life
I didn't believe in love at first sight
But you've shown me what is life
And I now I know my love (I know it's coming right)
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Thursday, September 27, 2007 @ 9:47 pm
[32 days to A levels]
so it's 32 days to A's. and it's fri tml. great. today is supposed to be the last lesson for h3 but teacher explained the qns in the tut not fast enough and we ask so many qns. so had to have one more lesson nxt week. bleah. dragggyyyy...
tomorrow going to eat dinner wid my clique. hope it wun be awkward and they'll enjoy the meal. esp the guys la. dunno if i'll make reservation and pre-order enough. haha. and tml's special for someone. well. actually, it's in 3hours 13mins. yar. memories... was telling some of my frens lyk khalis and he wonders wad i'll do. haha. my other fren too. lol. but they all are v nice to me and helped me out. love them lots.
sigh. looking at the couples at the jam-packed train today and jus heave a sigh and feel quite sad. khalis was asking me if i wanna get attached soon. my reply? oh yes. i do hope so. soon. but i also dun want this desire to blur my judgement of the nxt guy. dun wanna make another mistake. musn't rush into things no matter how much i desire it and musn't let feelings take over again. gotta seek out the Lord and see if tat's wad He wants. dun wish for another break-up. never expected the previous one to be so. we discussed it b4 we went in. shared wad a rs and commitment means. i personally felt assured tat a break-up wun happened. yet, it did. not blaming anyone here. jus thanking God tat He has seen me through and taught me something: not to trust own judgement but His. taught me abt flexibility and bending towards God's will. taught me a lesson to be more discerning and be careful. n most importantly, that He is sovereign. my only prayer now is that i will be able to survive this period of singlehood, how-ever-long it will be. i'll nv know wad God's plan is. n who knows if He wants me to single for life. so this is my prayer: to learn to walk in-step with Him and be contented as a single now and use this time to carry out His plan...
well, was looking at the devotional book tat eleena gave me. it's 1 years old already! she gave it to me last yr sept. haha. n i haven't covered half of it! lol. but it's okay. cos aft reading one section, i'll usually pause to read some books of the bible on my own or read a book tat talks abt christian values. so i'm fine! jus thinking it's coincidental tat i saw the msg eleena wrote to me. hope to read books on Grace and Freedom after A's! n the "stop dating the church" by Joshua Harris and "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge still linger at the back of my mind. i know jeremy has wild at heart! will borrow frm him soon! and grace and freedom...realised i know little of these 2 issues. when they're mentioned in my QT material and bible, i can only catch a glimpse of their meaning. but i want more. wanna know more on wad these 2 issues mean in a christian life... =) will borrow books frm aunty janet! haha. books are expensive, you know. each one cost over $20. plus, u have to choose carefully so u wun buy a book tat is too brief/shallow or too chim/profound tat u can't understand or too doctrinal which is not wad u want...besides, being a student, don't really have tat much cash! haha. oh well. the flower is 1 years old too...still at the same position..up there...oh. jus realised the doggy is more than 1 years old. haha. checked my photos and they say it's taken on 1june06. haha. my sis got another bear so there are 3 stuff toys here below!
youth camp: 18th-20th dec. tue to thu. thank God for pastor timothy phua being available to be our camp speaker. he's a GREAT speaker! n i hope we'll really learn much thru the sermons tat he'll give. kah hwee tot of having a workshop conducted during the camp. though she n i have different views, i'll still come alongside wid her. jus hope tat the youths wun get put-off when they know abt the workshop. n tat the adults can take leave! as for accomodation which i'm handling..haha. getting the voucher, most likely. so if the youths dun want the small bangalow, ma says it's ok tat we take it! yay! know wad tat means? a holiday/vacation nxt year b4 year-end! haha. wid another family fren of course! cool! it'll be nice for us to go tanjong puteri and play bowling together!! =)) and stay in a terrace house leh...2 storey high!
okay. see. blog too much and talk too much again. jus let feelings and tots flow. bleah. haha. muz be missing company of a fren to chat for long hours with at nite so bloggin here. lyk talking to myself/the computer/my blog. haha. wad an outlet. hope it doesn't make me anti-social! dun think it will either. frens are always better than this non-living thing made up of....plastic, microchips, electrons, atoms....etc...haha. okay. byes!
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Tuesday, September 25, 2007 @ 8:33 pm
[34 more days to A levels]
arh...why my siblings all call me a study freak?? haha. oh well. jus laughing away anyway. for those who know me well n for myself, i know wad i'm lyk...tat's all tat matters. haha. n i'm NOT a study freak..not v nerdy!
watched the free esp show today at lunch hr. shirlyn tan and her band. awesome! her band and herself are totally talented and wonderful! played really well! was thanking God while listenin to them! right on! and i'm surprised tat jeremy and i have similar music sense..felt tat the fast songs were a bit rock but the slow songs were nice and we enjoyed it! =) ate in pastamania too. haha. n jeremy commented tat meals wid me are all the ex ones. haha. lyk in vivo thai express and now in PS pastamania. haha. well, was justifying saying tat i hardly see him so muz eat nice. haha. i think tat's crap. lol.
after tat, went to esp lib to study. surprised to see several JC1 SAJC boys. incl my fren. so hardworking. but it's time to be so since promos are nxt week. and surprised to see them studying in ESPLANADE! well. had a good time revising mostly alone since jeremy went nearby to make his specs. did maths paper 1. good job. but also tire me out. but it pointed out several concepts n formulas tat haven't gone into my head. so gonna work on them. muz reach a point where the formulas and concepts stay in my head non-momentarily.
jeremy met his fren there too. his name was reuben. so old frens catching up. happy for them. but they also got shush by a lady sitting beside us. dun lyk her. i think she's bias. lyk only shush at the students and not other ppl. bleah. then, jeremy n i were also toking abt scholarships and uni applications and SAT test!!!
yes! i haven't taken it! n i jus heard frm jeremy tat i nid to take SAT test in order to apply for scholarship. i dunno how true tat is but i'm goin to check wid cher tml. but craps la! missed the chance in june cos i tot i wun be able to do well enough for prelims and A's to apply for scholarship. ha. din trust in the Lord. boo. my desserts then. sigh. so yar. was trying to rush to apply for SAT now but, as usual, my mum was making noise and discouraging me. say tat in reality, i can't make it for scholarships. sigh. why can't she see tat one of the main reasons why i want the scholarships or bursaries is so tat my parents dun nid to pay so much for my fees. esp since i'm their first child. they still have another 2 kids and 6 ppl under one roof to feed...i mean, tot of jus doing my part. sigh. oh well. but i'm still going to be optimistic and dream and work towards it instead of being pessimistic lyk my mum. i mean, after all, these dreams will be placed in God's hands and whatever He wills it to be done will be done to completion.
HAPPY MID-AUTUMN FESTIVAL! saw the moon today already. bright. round. nice. lovely. and had a great QT downstairs near the moon too! one of the passages were good. totally led me to jus praise and adore Him. actually, it's God's Word tat had tat great impact! awesome! you are indeed worthy of all praises, invincible God! hallelujah!
1Tim 1:17
Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.
to my boy. although u din do as well as u expected and u may still be upset by the time u read this, but i wanna tell u to press on and not give up. it's not the end. there's still a last lap to go. and i know u can make it. your sis know and believe firmly tat u can make it and do well. i know u have the potential. i nid u work harder k? really understand wad's being taught and to spend more time practising. of course, play a bit to destress but dun play until neglect studies k? and dun get distracted by wadever it is. focus and discipline. tat's wad my DP said to us a few weeks back =) finally, continue to pray and trust God alright? He knows wad u are going thru and He will see u thru this period. when u are weary and tired, turn and go to Him and He'll give u rest and peace lyk u never experience it b4. always submit all your plans n ways to Him. dun forget He is God! keep the faith and hope going! finally, a verse for you:
Psalm 31:24
Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord
to end it off, khalis have been noticing tat i've been blogging alot lately. almost one for everyday. there is a reason. but i think it's not justificable. so i'm going to blog less now. gotta focus more on my studies. everytime i blog, i'll jus keep blabbering. there seems to be lyk SOOO much to tok abt. and everytime it takes up 45mins-1hour of my time and often more. n tat's bad. spending too much time on com. so i think i'm going to cut down alot and pretty drastically. i'll still be checking emails but perhaps not blogging...so to "someone", i guess u wun read things v often n wun have a good update here. tat's why i also tot of email-ing you cos i believe i have time to write emails. wun be blabbering in the emails lyk wad i'll do on blogs. and wun write so much but rather go to main point. plus, it's more personal and no one else reads wad i wanna say but u. besides, i always have to be careful of what i write on blogs...
on the last note, wad God taught me ytday was so relevant to me today. curiously compassionate. as christians, dun be so anxious (in the good sense) to know details of wad happen to ppl but also be anxious to show comfort and compassion to the person. dun jus want details but learn to comfort to reflect God's glory...
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Monday, September 24, 2007 @ 10:51 pm
[35 more days to A levels]
got back my GP grade! D! 52.5marks. it was good! din expect it. was quite happy and satisfied. got many first times..for the first time, my compre was 28.5. for the first time, i got all Bs for my AQ thus earnin me a high of 5/8 for it! =) thank God once again! =))
had h3 test today. boo. i was pretty upset. read the notes, tutorials, borrow 2 books to prac for them, tried some qns yet, when the paper comes, i can't do most of them...wad's more, 3 qns frm the test came frm the book. and i skipped those qns in the book cos i tot they weren't in my syllabus. ha. it isn't easy man. to filter the qns on my own. plus, wanted to see teacher b4 the test but cher not free. so missed the chance to clarify things and get concepts more cleared. i wonder wad went wrong and how to improve so tat it wun happen again. sigh. oh well. h3 really ain't easy man. thinking abt the stress now. sigh. perhaps cos prelims is jus nxt wk. argh... stressful....
felt the pain since ytday to today. when i'm alone. bad. was trying to brain-wash myself and tell myself to be happy instead. but well. i guess the bottom line is to do it wid God's might and not on my own strength. yet, i wun deny tat i have to put in effort to. so i believe it's abt "op". yea. i hope i'll really start to embrace this mindset not jus for this situation but for the events to come in the future. i jus pray tat God will be wid me now, till then and then. wanna clear my mind off this trival stuff! muzn't let it affect me...
going out to esplanade to watch lunchbox wid jeremy tml!! yay! the free show at lunch hour! plus lunch b4 that. then, study at my fav place: esp library! tat reminds me! gotta bring jacket! yups. yay. end sch tml at 11am =) great! i hope we wun be late (not lyk last time when i watched wid wei hao) and tat we'll get a good seat :) jus a time of chilling of jazz music...n a brother's company...yup..i guess tat's wad i nid! good for clearin my mind! ah...arts stuffs..been some time since i went for such prog =)
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Sunday, September 23, 2007 @ 10:11 pm
Your Steadfast Love
Your steadfast love extends to the heavens
Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds
Your righteousness is like majestic mountains
And the wisdom like the depths of the sea
And You come to me
Filling my heart is your loving kindness
I find my peace in the shadow of Your wings
I eat my fill from the abundance in Your household
And I drink from the streams of rejoicing
You are my King
---------------------------------
@ 9:33 pm
[36 more days to A levels]
okay. though ken was late for church today, but i'm glad he made it for the JPTN in the later part of the day. it was nice to see him again. one of the rare times to see him in contacts and he totally did up his hair! haha. had lunch wid him and the uncle joseph's family. and teh 3 guys kept on toking abt uni and engineering modules...bleah..i jus had to keep my mouth shut la! it was so.... anyway, after tat went JP lib to study. glad to be back there again. but couldn't see any of my frens there. he drove me home and i offered him dinner at my place. baked rice. he's really lucky. and we also went west mall to shop a while for coloured sand for his gf. couldn't find and jus settled for coloured beads (:
well, tml got H3 test!!! n i was doin one of the tutorials yesterday..it was so hard and confusing. i couldn't figure out which of the 4 methods to apply! i had to read and re-read the qn to see wad they are asking. n wad's more, i got it mixed up wid my H2. bleah. now still not v sure but teacher is goin thru tml. but it's tested tml..i wonder how i'm going to do it....
sigh. jus planned again. draft 2 of my revision. it's soooooo packed! i'm afraid i'll do last min for geog. i dun want man. i had better not. not for A levels. and in my planning, i din leave room for consultations. and i had to follow my schedule on top of assignments given! esp phys and geog ESSAYS!!! plus phys tuition hw! i was telling myself ytday nite, tat's how it is man. when u have tuition. u jus gotta give time to attending the lessons AND doing the tuition hw. it makes me wonder how Le Jing and Nigel are coping wid more than 2 tuitions! i guess tat's why they are stressed? but i hope they will be fine. yet, another thought was coming to my mind: once u take tuition, u jus gotta incoporate the tuition hw into your study schedule and as part of the revision plan. jus take them as revision and do your best in them, and not as an obstacle or "time-taker" of your own revision plan....yups :)
wondering whether i shld ask the sch to give me a predicted grade. no harm rite? but the tough part is finding the scholarships to apply to. honestly, i'll jus whack any scholarship tat comes. jus send in application and write essays if nid to. bleah. it's going to be another bout of paper work. ha. today jeremy was asking me which country i wanna study in. i was lyk, anything also can. ahha. dunno when i get this mindset. perhaps cos right now, i'm jus focusing on A's and getting good grades for them. not really thinking too far into the future. haha. but honestly, for UK, i'll be extra careful. the exchange rate is extremely HIGH. if i go there, i muz be sure ALL my tuition fees and expenses and accomodation are covered FULLY. i definitely dun want my parents to pay so much for me. come on man. it's lyk S$1 to 3pounds!! as for US, Australia, Europe...okay la. jus tat US a bit far. maybe can see my uncle in New York! =) sigh. oh well. jus do well for A's and that will get u anywhere u want! =)) tat's wad ppl say...
okay...nxt post is a song..it's lyrics are super meaningful. every sentence talks and speaks abt 1 of the many characterstics that God posses. amen! =) some pics below on the mid autumn festival held at Thomson Road Baptist Church. hear chinese sermon after so long...nice...
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Saturday, September 22, 2007 @ 9:59 am
[37 more days to A levels]
Okay. so i hit the 30s already. soon it'll be 1mth exactly. okay. i'm good. i'm fine. thank God for cell grp last nite. all the good reports we shared frm the last time when we asked for prayer requests. n i'm included too! thank God for honouring man when we honour him. thank God for speaking through various means: the Holy Spirit, the sermon, the Bible. thank God for His guidance through His Word.
when i told my frens i got ABB, they were happy for me. said i did well and tat i'll get AAA for A levels. haha. though it's not possible, i jus smiled. i guess, for me, it's a matter of perspective and handling dreams and reality. honestly, ABB isn't my dream. but when i do take a step back and look, putting my dreams and expectations aside, it really is well-done. but still, one thing still remains, "I sing praises to Your Name, oh Lord". (taken frm a song).
okay. felt tremors for the 3rd time this year and the 3rd time in my life. on thur. during h3 lesson. most of them din feel it but i did. so did linda. ming de was fully concentrating on the work. and so was teacher. and surprisingly, the sch din call for a gathering at the track. i'm starting to wonder and get worried. is the sch starting to assume things? that the sch buildin will be safe no matte how many times it experienced tremors? so there is no need to evacuate the students? well, i dunno. but all i heard is tat thur's earthquake hit a ritcher scale of 6.4-7. arnd there. oh well. to me, tremors start to become a norm already. jus tat, i muz learn to differentiate feeling tremors and feeling giddy...
yes! going for mission trip! to myanmar! 24th nov-1st dec. thank God for parent's consent. one grp is going but we'll be spilt to 2 small grps. one goes to help out in the young adults retreat and another to the orphanages tat my chr supports. initially, i was supposed to go help out. the plannin committee jus puts me down. i was supposed to pray abt it n see if God wants me to go to the orphanages. oh well. now dun nid to pray for guidance already. cos mum said i can go for the mission trip based on 2 criteria: 1. to help out at the orphanages and not travel by nite bus to the village to help out wid the retreat 2. to pay half of the trip
of course i'll pay half of the trip! even if u dun say, i'll still insist! but well, for orphanages, tat settles it! i'm not disappointed or anything but jus take it as a sign frm God unless He tells me otherwise as time goes by! but, anyway, i did feel a slightly stronger inclination to help out at the orphanages than help out at the retreat. i can jus picture myself and uncle joseph bringing smiles to the kids, teaching them bible stories, teaching them songs, teaching them actions, playing games wid them, hugging them, bringin them close to my heart...boy...it really makes me excited too! yay! so it isn't a bad thing after all (: jus tat, well, will miss my parents' 20th wedding anniversary :( anyway, looking fwd to the trip and gotta raise funds too! waiting for the other youths response and then, if someone else is going, perhaps, we'll raise funds tgt! =)
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Friday, September 21, 2007 @ 11:38 am
[38 more days to A levels]
using sch com now. n the words in this window is in chinese!! but manage to "scrap" through. ha. chinese...been a long time since i've touched it. n i almost forgot how to write my chinese name! haha. cannot forget my roots man. luckily i still rmb wad's the meaning of chinese name..haha..
well, reporting time. managed to gain marks for maths and phys to get an A and B respectively. and got a B for chem. manage to be at the border of B. thank God. so it's ABB. gotta wait for h1 geog. yups. will be some time since i'll get it. was finding, practically squeezing 4marks for maths. me and my teacher. and the B for phys i'd to go find last nite and wasted some time. n i also question teacher on one of my answers. yay..
toking abt phys, well, really wanna thank God for seeing thru my phys journey thus far all the way to prelims! thank you! it really wasn't easy. and the first thing my mum said when i told her my phys result is, "hey..u improved!" indeed, i have. frm fluctuating marks but arnd E,S,U kinda grade to B. morale has always been not so good. often quite demoralised and felt lyk giving up. phys isn't my cup of tea. but lookin at the prelims result makes me wonder if A probable for A levels. is it?? i really wonder. but i'll do my best on tat day. definitely. if i really do get A, THANK YOU LORD! if i dun, I STILL WANNA GIVE THANKS TO YOU! always be joyful in all circumstance. if God gives me an A, it's definitely by His grace.
anyway, all credit is given to God! my prelim results and the revision and the frens arnd me tat help me out. yeah. and jus pray tat God will see me thru my remaining 38 days of revision to A levels!
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Wednesday, September 19, 2007 @ 10:38 pm
[40 days to A levels]
this is for MKZ and "someone" who have recently tagged on my blog:
sorry guys for taking so long to respond to your tags. din see it till late ytday and so had not enough time n energy to respond. i know MKZ din meant the tags for me but i still wanna say my opinions here?
firstly, to MKZ. thanks alot for your concern to me. i know full well tat u meant me good. meant to voice out the opinions and feelings that i dare not say. most importantly, thanks for sticking by me and hearing me out. when i read your tags, i was a bit shocked. haha. well, were u a bit too harsh? maybe straight-forward uh? but i'm glad u are brave enough to leave your email add so "someone" can get back to you directly too. but i hope there wun be any quarrels k?
secondly, to "someone". well , MKZ has always been my v good fren. my buddy. n i did tell MKZ abt "you" and your taggings. and no doubt, lyk wad MKZ said, your taggings did affect me both good and bad. while being blessed and encouraged by the verses you gave me and the encouragements to press on, i was also negatively affected where i'd a whole bout of confused feelings. i din dare say cos i tot i'll jus play along.. but well, MKZ helped me open up a door. haha. confused feelings not mainly abt your identity but the reason behind your anonymity. being a thinker, i think alot abt the reasons why u remain so for the past few days. n aft i'd shared wid MKZ and other frens, they told me i have let them go. have to put them down cos it's jus taking up my time and making me lose focus. so, lyk wad MKZ said, i'd to force myself to put these tots down. well, but i wld say tat, to me, MKZ was a bit direct n harsh. MKZ left you the email add n if you want, u can contact MKZ. but i hope both of you wun quarrel or start scolding each other. pls dun k? well, i guess, aft seeing wad MKZ says, i really wonder wad u are thinking. will i stop seeing your tags on the board?? or will u reveal yourself?? but all i can say is tat it's your choice still. i can't make you stay but the opinion i wanna give is tat i'll miss u when u are gone...it's really been some time when i have someone who consistently encourages SPIRITUALLY. n i'm sure u know it makes a whole lot of difference when God's perspective is said...
but hey! MKZ! if u are seeing the above para to "someone", it doesn't mean i forgot abt u! u're still my bestest BEST FREN! =)
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Tuesday, September 18, 2007 @ 11:41 pm
[41 more days to A levels]
Recently something happened tat made me think of how i handles my frenships. n i wonder whether i'm doing it the right way...or is there a right way to do things with regards to this issue?
i realised i plan alot of outings. as in, i take the initiative. i lyk meals. having a get-together wid my cliques b4 we dis-band. is lyk to commemorate something..tat once, we were close. to have tat memory etched in our minds. to re-connect back tgt and to catch ups. to have a fun n relaxing time, having the memory tat though we met under academic circumstances, we did have the non-academic and fun side when we crossed paths.
yet, through it all, organising and attending these things do have a sacrifice on me and those involved. our time, energy and study/revision. well, okay. i shld say thanks to all who were willing to accept my invitation to go out wid me and giving me your time and energy. hmm. but still, is this how i shld deal wid my frenships? puttin them first b4 my studies? i always think they are more impt since it is frenships/relationships tat last n not the qualification cert. hmm...
perhaps the key is to balance and not swing to the extreme. then, pray tat i will not step over the line and "go too far"....
***
okay..suddenly feel lyk toking abt my spiritual life...well, have to be more disciplined in praying. yes. i muz. can't let other things over-throw prayers.
got a devotional material recommended by Gloria called Our Journey. she said it's more teens-like. so trying out. every page is coloured. n though the length of passage is longer compared to Our Daily Bread, i have to keep telling myself to press on and to finish reading it. cos i muz train myself up to read long devotional passages already. goin to be a young adult soon. so far, been not too bad.
was reading abt the verse on do not be anxious abt anything...the material toks abt worry too and how worry hinders us frm doing wad's impt. indeed, it reminded me of wad nic went thru wid us b4 he left. frm matt 6:33, we can see tat there are real challenges tat God wants us to pursue but worry stops us frm doing so. amen to tat!
n in kah hwee's email, she pointed this out too. wow. got lots to pray for abt the youth ministry. i muz pray abt tat too...mm. have to be a dilligent worker already..
n though it's hard to face so-and-so again, but after reading the email tat uncle clarence sent, i think i really shld go and not run away. i dunno how the turn-out wld be like but i do hope it's something tat God will use for the good...
got an email frm eleena tat i sent to several of u..it's awesome. initially, it came to me abt christians who ain't really growin/goin to chr. i dunno why. but only a christian wld carry the cross. but all those cutting off the bottom of the cross jus makes me think of short-cuts. tat we jus, u know, skip bible classes, cell group, church services. then, when trouble comes, when u nid to cross over, u dun have a strong enough relationship and foundation of His Word. well, the bottom line tat was given (tat was meant to be) is tat no pain no gain and that there will always be a reason for tat pain/work... below is the comic strip..pls also note tat on 18/9, i have 2 posts. the other one is aft the comic strip...
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@ 10:30 pm
[41 days to A levels]
Alright. so PRELIMS ARE FINALLY OVER! after dragging so long over sept hols too. had a good break. deserving break. wid none other than my buddy, Yong Hui! yay! it was awesome! firstly, he was such a nice fren. sent me a reply on sms n said tat he can plan later aft the paper n wun leave me alone. wow. when i saw it i was shocked yet comforted. nice. thanks lotz pal!
so aft the paper, we collected our chem stuffs and photos! then he haven't eaten breakfast. so we ate nearby and think of what place to go. so after getting the movie timings for the rat show from stephanie, we went to vivo city! watched ratatouille! and in the 2K digital type!! i was so surprised! haha.
it was good. the movie was good. inspiring pointers! seriously! i rmb hearing at the beginning: Cleaniness is next to Godliness! tat was the same phrase used in Gattacca! awesome! n now in the rat show. there were other phrases lyk if u keep focusing on the past, u'll never move forward..the nxt time i watch, i'll definitely take out a pen n paper n write those pointers down! jus now, i wanted to "whip" my HP out n type them in but i'm afraid it'll disturb yh, so i din. but the nxt i'll rent the dvd n write them down!
oh ya. the show timing was 1045am n we reached the cinema at 11am. it was jus nice. we only watched 1 adverisement then the show started. perfect. jus wad i wanted. little time wasted on advertisements. haha. n yh n i have to go find lobby H la. at some carpark. grr. but it led us rite up to it. in tat cinema which was pretty deserted, there were also 4-5 other saints sitting in front of us. so embarrassing for me. got iven. dun wan ppl to see me n yh leh. haha. so quickly leave aft movie. but still saw the gals in the toilet. sigh. n saw ming xian, weng san n another guy at the rooftop there. haha.
so after the movie, we went for lunch. noticed tat vivo has v few famous restaurants. haha. after looking at several restaurants, we settled for Terra. 10% off for students. set lunch. clam chowder soup (my 1st time trying n i got so many clams. haha). ice cream is frm nestle. can taste it out. n we got a card each! a discount card wid no expiry date! n it entitles me to 10% per visit! perfect! plus, i finally got my GV movie club card!! in the shape of a popcorn. haha. for the first time, lunch wasn't filling after eating in a restuarant. n for the first time, i ate faster than yh!! haha! yes!
so shop shop shop till our feets ached so many times tat we have to sit down n take a break. luckily vivo has those seats at the lobbies for us to rest man. so we went in one gift shop aft another. cos i was lookin for a present for sh n yw. also went to one shop and got a gift for ken. saw tat present then realised i haven't given him anythin for his 21st bday! haha. so i immediately bought it and arranged to meet him. haha. n i hope he gives me a lift home! i haven't sat in his car yet. haha. n i got 2 earrings for sh n yw. i hope they aren't looking at my blog now... i hope they like it. wanted to buy a v nice necklace for myself but was broke and tot it's slightly ex. sigh. i hope i wun regret missing this chance...haha..i hope i'll see it again. its chain is unique..not straight chain but twisted and there are black crystals on it. it's beautiful! am i regretting now..oops..
anyway, after resting and finding tat candy shop, we went outside n take photos! yay! at least got photos for memory. n we took so many la! got abt 5 of us jus smiling into the camera. haha. then, got other poses. see below for some. haha. can't believe we took so many. the best ones i like is the ones where we self-timer and lean against the railing. it was pretty scary and risky cos u'll never know when a person might come forward and steal the phone. but thank God nth happened and everything was fine. nice photos but wun be uploading cos i dun want ppl to get the wrong idea. haha. n nothing is gonna happen. trust me. n BOTH of us are positively sure!
so all in all, i met lyk noelle n the soccer gals, the h3 gal wid the green num bag (i forgot her name), eliza n yin jing, iven n frens, ming xian n weng san n fren...tat's abt all..below are some photos, check it out!
plus a video tat i made on windwos movie maker! was playing arnd! it's fun! really! but can't have frames lyk wad victor did..but having been inspired by him, i'll do one for the youths too! yes! below is a video on my 18th bday celebration at home =) on your speakers! can't wait to do one for the youths and for one/two/three/four/five of my family members. can't drop hint..wanna keep it secret till time is right! one of our nicest and brightest photos we took...
yh n i in deep tots...
wow..look at the bright light frm up there..haha. but main emphasis is the pointing to each other..
look there! why??
oh yar..the candy shop!
jus took some pictures at vivo...the railings (up) and the fountain (below)..
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Sunday, September 16, 2007 @ 7:54 pm
[43 more days to A levels]
"whenever you feel lyk giving up, don't dread how much more you have to go. look back at how far you've come and press on" from Khalis' blog
THAT WAS SUCH AN AWESOME QUOTE! honestly! when i saw it, i tot he was writing to me. haha. but thinking abt it somemore, it can be for himself. yar. so khalis, if u're reading this, thanks for the quote and rmb yr own quote too! 18more weeks uh? on right! then, let's sign up for scuba divin together in jan?? haha. if my mum allows it :)
okay. 43 more days to A levels. alright. scary. gotta press on. tue's phys prelim. last paper! yes! and hopefully can go out and celebrate. feel lyk goin to bugis junction and watching a movie. but....nvm. will most prob catch the free lunchbox at the end of this mth too. at lunch hr at esp concert hall. then, after tat it's study! at esp lib. i miss tat place so so much. yea. so it's not jus all play and no work k?
well, tat's abt all i gotta say. will be changing my blogskin soon after prelims! jia you for prelims and A's ppl!!
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Saturday, September 15, 2007 @ 1:39 am
[44 days to A levels]
order of entries below (from earliest timing to latest timing):
“Angels brought me here” by Guy Sebastian
Ho Yun’s car
“Soulmate” by Natasha Bedingfield
Doggy and dun feed bad mindset!
Timetable mix-up and Maths paper2
Cross pendant
To mr X/someone
Friday
“You are/You are Lord” by Hillsong
I started wid a song and ended wid a song. thanks for sticking arnd. i jus added a playlist! under my section of "profile". the first link on the left column =)
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@ 1:38 am
You are/You are Lord
You are my light and salvation,
Whom shall I fear?
You are the strength of all my days,
Of whom shall I be afraid?
Though war may rise against me,
Of this will I be sure
That I will bless the Lord forever
I’ll bless your holy Name
Yes, I will bless the Lord forever
I’ll bless you holy Name
Lord it is you I desire,
It’s you that I seek
To live with you in your house forever
Beholding your beauty
In times of trouble
Of this will I be sure
That I will bless the Lord forever
I’ll bless your holy Name
Yes, I will bless the Lord forever
I’ll bless you holy Name
You ask me who do I,
Say that you are and I,
Say that you are the Christ,
Son of the living God
AMEN!
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@ 1:36 am
Finally, today, my mum said I din exceed my HP bill for the first time! Yay! Woohoo! I can’t believe it! Not even my calls! I know I din exceed my sms but I can’t believe I din exceed my calls. Haha. But I did have to pay to sunpage for the calls I made out. Well, toking abt sms and phone, I got a MMS frm khalis ytday! I can’t believe it! My first time. At first, I was wondering wad’s the logo on my phone. Then, I realised it’s an MMS tat’s coming in. ohh..he sent me 3 pics somemore! Of his training. Fighting real fire. Was telling me abt his throat being parched. Yea. see him in action (tho I wonder if it’s him in the pic. Cld only see a man in yellow suit). But in any case, it was nice. And showed my siblings too. sarah said fighting fire is cool! I think so too! I esp wanna know how to use those fire hydrants we see along the roads and the fire engine. Haha. Wad do they call tat small red jeep? Little red dinosaur? Or little red hippo? I’m not sure. Haha. But I know there’s an animal’s name in it. Haha. Anyway, I hope he’ll continue pressing on and staying fine through this fasting month! It’s not goin to be so bad k? =) n did I mention a lot abt u in my previous post?? I wonder…
Okay. So I jus used the excel to help me count the no of days left to the start of A levels. I think I’m gonna put it at the top of every post now..nice. good reminder. Anyway, jus ask excel to put down the dates in order all the way from 15th sept to 30th oct, the start of my phys paper3. yup. 45 days. Everyday, hopefully, goin to cancel out one row by one row. Count-down! Going to write down on my calendar! Sigh. Haven’t started planning. Gotta start soon! 45 days!!! So much less than 2months!! Buck up Sharon! U muz make it and do it well! A levels!!!!!!
Finally, on the post above, it’s the song “You Are/You Are Lord” from Hope Cd by hillsong. It’s awesome! I love the lyrics! Especially the verses. Was listening to it on the way home or while studying maths. Was listening at the lyrics then wondering wad song it is. Then when I “lighted” up the screen of my mp3, I found out it’s “you are”. I was surprised why I never really noticed this song b4. perhaps, at different times, God speaks to us through different songs. Thank God for this song tat speaks so much to me =) yays! Check it out!
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@ 1:34 am
This post here is solely dedicated to “mr x”/”someone”:
Jus wanna take this chance here to really thank you for all the encouragements u’ve been giving me on my tagboard. Though I dunno who you are but it’s nice to see your tags for the past 2 weekends. Although sometimes I’m a bit blur abt wad race/road u are toking abt, but I guessed it’s my last lap to A’s. am I right? Well, jus wanna shout out a big THANK YOU! here to you on this post =) hope it brings you smiles on your face jus as how your encouragements bring a smile on mine =)
Yet, I hope tat this is doing more good than harm. Of course, I benefit from it. But I hope it wun bring harm to you. there muz be some reason why you are keeping your identity secret. It puzzled me and made me think for 2 days. I came up wid several reasons and one of them is tat you are afraid of me?? Or tat you are confused whether or not to take the bold step forward to reveal yourself cos in doing so, the consequences/outcome tat happens may bring you more trouble? Well, I really have no idea cos I’m not you and I dunno who you are. But I know you have your own good reason for remaining anonymous and I respect you for tat. But I hope it wun make you even more confused and unsure of wad u really want. I hope it wun create in you a character of uncertainty (I wonder if there’s such a phrase) and un-sureness. N tat’s the harm I’m toking abt. I dun jus want myself to benefit but I want you to benefit too. so I hope u cld perhaps, spend some time thinking why u wanna encourage me yet remain anonymous. Is there a reason/cause u’ve not faced up to yet?
I know tat in saying this, I may not hear frm you again. I’ll miss you. and I’ll miss your encouragements tat have so brought me much joy and comfort. But I wld rather tat u not come to harm than me keep on benefiting. On the other hand, if u think I’m thinking too much and things are goin fine wid u, you’re all the more welcome to tag (whether anonymously or not). Looking fwd to your tags! Adding life to my tagboard too. haha. Besides my sis, sarah. And if u, Mr X and someone, are the same person, ya..is it possible if I make one small request and hope u cld stick to one nick? Jus one small request and hope u can grant me my wish.
Thanks for the bible verse tat u gave me and hope my bible verse helps u too. take care and God bless you! stay strong in the Lord =) and thanks for taking time to read my blog entries (:
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@ 1:30 am
Alright. So the necklace tat clovis gave me last time broke. But I kept the cross pendant. Then, while putting something in my drawer, I found an empty hp keychain wid a hook at the end. Then, an idea came to me. Attached both the cross pendant and the strap together and viola! I got this!
Yes! Nice eh? It’s such a good reminder to me. I hope it doesn’t poke my flesh when I put it in the pocket of my jeans. But I was v pleased wid it and very happy. But the cross a bit pink already. Gotta go perlins to polish it. Hope I can find time one day!! =)
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@ 1:11 am
I GOT MY TIMETABLE MIX-UP!! For maths paper, I tot it was in the morning on thu! Haha. When I entered sch in the morning, I was surprised to see so few JC2s and most of all, I din see my class at their usual table in the café. Which I was certainly v surprised cos ppl lyk jannah, xw and kamalesh are early. But I still headed to morning worship. There, I saw steffi and asked for the timetable frm her. Although she din have it, through her, I found out tat the maths paper was in the afternoon. I was like..wad the…cld have slp in more if I knew it was in the afternoon!! I had to drag myself outta bed tat morning!
Anyway, a few of her classmates were there. So I hang arnd wid them. Was supposed to queue up behind them in the track but I wasn’t walking fast enough and had to stand behind a JC1 class. Not too bad after all. Then, I sat wid them to study. Grace, jia hui, anthea (I lyk tat name. hope I spelled it correctly), xiao ting (I think) and steffi herself. Grace was rather restless and kept playing HP games at one point of time. Steffi and jia hui were plucked into their mp3 and studying. While xiao ting and anthea were studying, definitely. We all sat outside the SC.
And there and then, I got a chance to teach xiao ting. Lyk really a lot. I can’t believe she missed out so much. On the use of GC. She was learning frm her maths guide book how to do the old method but I was teaching her to use the GC. And taught her invNorm too. Boy. And tat maths paper, came out quite a lot of invNorm qns. I hope she understood wad I was explainin and know how to use the GC to do the qns. But all in all, I was glad I got a chance to teach her! =))
The maths paper 2…I DIED IN PURE MATHS!!! Of all the 2 sections, I died in pure maths!! Stats was smooth for me. Except P&C. quite weak in circle qns. So not sure if my ans was correct. But the rest lyk poisson, binomial, probability, normal distribution were okay for me. No circling of qns. No messing up wid GC. No weird ans. But for pure maths, I totally died!
I couldn’t do the first qn on complex no. was totally shocked to see tat the non-argand diagram came out. I guess because of my shock, I din try hard for tat qn. Also, I din study tat section of complex no so I tot I’ll surely will not be able to do it. Nevertheless, I tried the qn but I still failed. I guessed I’d mental block. Couldn’t think a bit more and manipulate the qn so tat I can answer it. In another words, I couldn’t even start. So I had to skip the entire qn of 7 marks!!
Then, the nxt qn: DE! Was quite happy. Expected it mah. N aft practising quite a no of time, I tot I could do it. I THOUGHT! But I couldn’t. was stuck when trying to solve it! I forgot tat I’m suppose to get rid of the ln!! so stupid! Dunno how many practices I do already. And H3 maths still got DE tat chap yet I can’t do!! Argh. I spent quite a lot of time on it initially. Can’t accept tat I can’t do it and so I insisted on trying it. But, I had to force myself to move on cos I haven’t touched on stats. So aft completing the entire paper and had left over time, I went back to do tat qn. So all in all, I believe I’d spent arnd half-hour on it. So much rite? And still can’t solve. Sigh. Stupid.
Then, the nxt hard qn for tat pure maths section was vectors. Visualise wrongly initially. So thank God for opening up my eyes and see tat I read wrongly and after changing the diagram, I could do most of the qns. So jus hope tat they are correct and I din had any careless or concept mistake.
Well, counted and I guessed I can score an A if stats were all correct ( is it possible??). but I need at least a 73 in order to get A overall. So jus hoping hard tat paper 2 is an A. but I wun deny tat B overall looks probable…
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@ 12:59 am
Alright. So I bet you saw the Soulmate song tat’s below. Kept hearing it on radio these few days. I lyk the way the singer sings. It’s clear. And the lyrics are quite simple. It also reflects wad most gals want in a guy—someone tat doesn’t need to be told how to love..haha. but it also brought qns to my mind. I dun quite agree wid the concluding statement. I dun think God has a plan for a soulmate for EVERYONE. I believe that there are some ppl whom God wants them to remain as single so tat they can serve God better. For example, Paul in the Bible din get married. And he was encouraging Tim not to too. But yet, Paul is not saying marriage isn’t good. After reading a book tat toks slightly abt this topic, it said tat if remaining single cause your righteousness towards God to be threatened, then, it’s better to get married. Well, I’m not saying tat one shld marry only if the commitment towards God is threatened. Nor am I saying tat one shld marry only for self-interest. But I wld say it’s a good reminder tat in marriage, God shld still be the central focus and tat they shld build each other up so that they can exercise righteousness towards God. Moral righteousness and religious righteousness. Tat’s wad Nic taught us the other time! Hee..okay. the book was insightful. Yups.
Great! I’ve finally washed the doggy. It’s been arnd un-washed for abt a year already. Was counting. N I guess tat’s why I keep getting flu recently. Cos it was on my bed beside my pillow. But I’ve been falling v sick during sept hols and was wondering why. One of the reasons was my weak immune system. But it was really a sudden bout of flu. Then I saw the doggy and it really looked dusty. So I sent it for washing! Yay! Now it’s so much cleaner! So much better. Was shocked when I saw the colour of the doggy. It’s as good as new. Yay! =)
On wed nite, the nite before my geog paper, I suddenly had this v weird feeling. The feeling of not wanting to study for geog. Was v sian of it. Felt lyk giving up. Even for A’s. felt lyk there was simply too much to cover, too much to memorise and dun wanna study for it. Was struggling throughout that nite. Kept running to my mum to tok to her. N showed her the topics needed to cover for geog. Argh. It’s really a lot. Well, I admit I was doing last-min work so I feel the pressure but then, it affected my mindset for A’s pretty badly. i knew it was wrong. Told khalis and he doesn’t wanna scold me. I dun think he shld also else it’ll be lyk “spoon-feeding” me indirectly. Givin me wad I want so I can press on. No! I muz learn how to press on and move on and motivate myself and solve this PROBLEM myself. Can’t keep relyin on other ppl….sigh. muz get rid of this mindset. I was writing this in my diary ytday. Drawing a parallel between this and wad the Bible says abt sinful nature. Jus as how God commands us not to gratify the desires of the sinful nature and to “take captive every thought and make it obedient to God”, similarly, I shld not feed on the thoughts of not preparing for A’s. not think abt it and to put tat, rather, throw tat to one side. Well. So tat’s it. This is the last time I’ll be toking abt it. N hopefully so! Go away, bad thought!!
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@ 12:53 am
Soulmate
Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find
Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
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@ 12:52 am
Okay. So I started off wid a song now. Angels brought me here by Guy Sebastian. Loved tat song. I heard it on radio last nite. It was nice. Awesome. The music. And the lyrics. Esp the lyrics. It’s really very meaningful.
To carry on, jus wanna say tat on wed n thu, I took a lift from Ho Yun’s mum’s car. And I shall tell u the story on wed. happened to meet him when I was going to refill my bottle before the maths paper started. I was telling him abt his colour awards and chatted for a while..toking abt geog paper the nxt day. Then, he suddenly say tat his mum wld fetch him later on aft the maths paper. Being one who stays so far frm sch and knowing tat his condo is jus a few condos away, I looked at him shyly. Haha. He got my hint! Yes! So I got a lift frm him aft the maths paper =)
So I met him aft the paper at the foyer. I tot I was late but his mum’s car jus came. N there were quite a no of ppl walking out by the main gate too. Then, when the car stopped, he walked in front of me and opened the door for me! I was shocked!! In front of SO many ppl too! I felt so honoured and dare not look up at those arnd me cos I think I can feel their stares. Then, when I entered butt in first, I was expecting him in his seat in front of me. but no, he wasn’t! he was still outside, waiting for me to close the door after me! wow!! I was double-stunned and shocked. N jus hurriedly say thank you.
U can imagine how shocked I was la. I’ve never had this kinda treatment for a LONG time...the last time was also from him, when I was sec 2. yea. I know him since I was sec 2. And he’s the ONLY guy tat does tat to me!! He’s ALWAYS such a gentleman. Never fails to be one. Haha. Was telling my family all abt it la. N was lyk in this dreamy world thereafter. Even tho I’d geog paper the nxt day. Haha. I was wondering if things can be changed..frm the last time..but was reminding myself today, jus as wad I’d written in my diary, NEVER to lose sight of the most impt criteria in looking at a guy—spiritual maturity. yea. Jus pray tat I’ll stand strong and be firm abt this decision even as time flies by and I meet all sorts of wonderful guys…
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@ 12:48 am
Angels Brought Me Here
It’s been a long and winding journey,
But I’m finally here tonight picking up the pieces and walking back into the light
Into the sunset of your glory where my heart and future lies
There’s nothing like that feeling when I look into your eyes
My dreams came true when I found you; I found you, my miracle
If you could see what I see
That you’re the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear, that angels brought me here
Standing here before you
Feels like I’ve been born again
Every breath is your LOVE
Every heartbeat speaks your name
My dreams came true right here in front of you my miracle
If you could see what I see
You’re the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear, that angels brought me here
Brought me here, to be with you
I'll be forever grateful, oohh forever thankful
My dreams came true when I found you my miracle
If you could see what I see
You’re the answer to my prayers, oh...
And if u could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear that angels brought me here
You know i love you baby
And if you could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear, that angels brought me here
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Monday, September 10, 2007 @ 8:08 pm
WOW! so i went to The Manhattan Fish Market for lunch today! haha. at first he din wanna tell me. but on the way up to go yamaha first, i saw the restaurant. then, it struck me tat it cld be that place! viola! it was! nice! neat! my first time there. there was a set lunch. wanted to try fish n chips but decided to go for fried dory wid rice and fries and fried squids. plus drink and soup. n i asked for iced peach tea widout ice. haha. it sounded funny but i was so cold there n then tat i din want some more ice to lower my body temperature further!
so the total bill was $40.80. haha. khalis was nice. jus asked me to pay $15. come to think of it, he really paid alot of the bill. oops. i'll treat u something nxt time k? can't be u keep paying for my meals and treating me although u are earning a commando's pay! haha. well, be glad u are one of the 50 tat made it to SCDF k? hang in there!
so well. to end it off, i had a HARD time finishing off the food. i was practically stuffing myself wid wad's left on my plate. i dunno why, perhaps it was the cold tat made it so hard for me to eat the food fast and finish most of it. so i left alot of squid and some rice. i finish the fries! and the fried dory fish, well, i only left the fried batter. haha. if u know me, i wld definitely NOT touch them. they are fried! wid so much oil! eww... so i stuffed myself and i felt SO bloated! my stomach was going to burst. and jus now, towards dinner time, cld feel the food still in my stomach. boy! i guessed i eat over my limit. almost felt lyk puking too. oops. so lesson learnt: dun stuff and gorge yourself wid food!!
but on the whole, it was a gd dining experience. a good first time there. except, i must bring my jacket nxt time!!! and musn't be feeling cold when i have a meal like this! =)
khalis was bored so he sent me all the way to sch! well, at least to potong pasir stn. it was nice. haha. after he emerged frm the stn, he headed off to the mosque nearby and then went off to queensway. i wonder if he did any shopping. over at dhoby ghaut stn, i met yi chen at 130pm. boy! her paper starts at 2pm! well, she can make it at 2pm. but the fact is tat she has to get ready at 145pm. tat's the thing most of us tends to forget. well, so at least i reminded her that. n she was telling me she was struggling to finish the last chap of bio. boy...muz be hard on the bio students. bio students, jia you k? no matter how hard! okay. hope she makes it in time.
n yes. i did make it in time for my consultations after pushing back the timings several times. sorry mr tan! haha. cos i took so long to eat my lunch...1 hr...jus wanted to enjoy my meal. it's been a long time since i can enjoy a meal! everyday is rushing. every lunch in sch cos break's always half-hour n also dun wanna make yong hui wait so long n also rush up to the lib and study!!
anyway, something nice happen today during my consultations. hope. a 4-letter word: hope. it's really magical. both mr tan and ms tan gave me hope. i cld see tat they have confidence tat i will do well in maths and chem and tat gave me hope too. they din praise me. their underlying msg is well done and your progress is going good/fine. tat gave me hope tat i can do it. can score an A. not too sure if can score an A for prelims cos i'll never know how's the standard like, but i know i have the potential and confidence tat i can get an A for A levels. well, if at the end of the day, i really din score it, pls dun taunt me. but i jus wanna say tat i have the confidence! n lyk wad most ppl say: not giving up is half a battle won? well, having the right attitude too! =) well, it reminds me of my E & A maths last time when i was sec 4. had the same confidence. n i did get an A1 for both subjects. i hope i'll carry this same spirit forward too. but also knowing tat wadever happens, God's in control and i shld accept the result graciously. now, jus gotta settle my phys! n geog. not forgetting my h3 :) Lord, thank you for this hope u gave me today :)
finally, jus got a new definition for hope: hope is the confidence tat the eventual outcome will be good. but bear in mind tat good does not equals to wad u wish for. sometimes, wad we wish for isn't good although it may seems lyk so. after all, we are humans. only God has the power and the knowledge to know wad is good. so trust Him! even if circumstance doesn't seem hopeful now. i guess tat's why ppl say God is our Hope! Amen!
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@ 8:17 am
okay. so i studied alone outside. finally get to go outside for a breather. and it's definitely much better than studying at home since i know I'm starting to lose concentration at home already. it's good. at first, my family and i went to have lunch at macs at bukit panjang. then, i had plans to study there. over there, i met yann ming!! haven't toked to him for a long time. so he came over and greeted me and we chatted for a while. he was studying there wid his frens. when he left, i asked my mum if he's handsome. n hi-5! she thinks so too! haha. i've always tot so. since sec sch and yw and sh always tease me and say i got bad taste. haha. no no...my mum also thinks he's handsome. haha. yea. got company (: lol.
anyway, i studied there for not more than half-hour, i got chased out! yea. chased out! grr. the manager chased all the studying students out. it was my first time la. i was lyk..wad the...now i nid to go n buy another drink. tats my first tot. so i jus sat there and stoned to think of my nxt venue. called mum. got a lift to go catch a bus to west mall to study there. so i studied at BK. not bad. at least they dun chase ppl out. but there are ALOT of ppl there studying! i was shocked! haha. but i sat at the wrong corner. frm where i sit, i cld hear 2 music stations. one frm inside BK, another frm outside. so for a moment, i was lost and confused. dunno which one to listen n it can give quite a bit of headache. but after a while, i decided to listen to the one inside and tat was much better on my ears and head. so did quite a bit of work and got quite fed-up wid probability cos i dun understand why my answer is wrong. so i'm goin to see teacher later!
n surprisingly, i can still see ms tan at 2pm later when i sms her at nite. i tot her schedule wld be packed n i wld have no chance. but still, i decided to give it a shot. this goes to show one point: everything is worth a try. but, of course, it means everything safe/not harmful, muz go thru yr brain if it's the right thing to do. of course, this can't be applied to drugs rite? n also, dun assume things! =)
WELCOME BACK KHALIS! frm brunei! and obs! i wonder where he's goin to take me to for lunch later at PS. he say it'll be a restaurant and when i guessed secret recipe, gelare, cafe cartel, they were all wrong. so i wonder wad other restaurants are there left. haha. not eating so much breakfast now to save some space for later. haha. well, looking fwd to hearing your stories and hopefully seeing some pictures!
last nite, i was lookin thru my cupboard and saw a handphone strap. un-used. jus the strap wid a hook at the end. then, it gave me an idea to attach the cross pendant to the strap and put it on my hp. n tat's jus wad i did! it looks nice! n i hope it's a good reminder of my christian faith! actually, it goes lyk this: the chain of the necklace tat clovis gave broke suddenly a few weeks back. i was shock but there's nth to do abt it. i jus took out the pendant and kept it while i had to throw away the chain. so tat's how i got the pendant! quite a fair bit of memory flooded back when i look at the pendant. haha. sigh. those were the days man.... :P
on a separate note, i was toking to God at nite and thinking. i believe there's nth wrong wid relationships. i dun think God ever wants to see us condemn relationships for he has made us to enjoy it..u know, adam n eve. yet, it also doesn't mean everyone muz have a partner. okay. tat's besides the point i wanna make. the point here is the "when" and the "who". i believe we shld go into rs in His time and be careful and exercise good judgement on who we are entering a rs wid. so i guess it's wrong to have tat mindset to warn the person against going out wid another on a date. for God doesn't want us to be anti-social. i guess, all i can warn/advise is for tat person to guard his/her heart and be careful not to lead the person on if u really dun mean it. yeah.
on a final note, sigh. i can't slp last nite. went to bed slightly b4 12midnight but i tossed and turned till close to 1am. i jus can't slp. n tat's bad. cos i nid to quickly get into the mood of slping early at nite for my prelims! i guess 2 scenerios were on my mind...
1. i was reading a narrative. setting is slightly b4 the WW2 ended. n the narrator was a German! now, tat was something different. n she was helping to hide this russian in a secluded place; away from the villagers. so i wondered.. is tat the right thing to do? wld i do it if i were her? it's super risky to do so. wld i risk it?
2. was watching a show last nite. 2 ppl: one gynaecologist n nurse. the patient is a regular patient of the gynae n she had been in debts. so she decided to carry the last packet of drugs to pay off her debts so she can start anew wid her baby. but she din finish the job and she had to be rushed to the hospital for delivery. there, while changing the clothes, the nurse saw the packet of drugs. n after delivery, both the doctor n the nurse pretended they din see anything while the mother wash the drugs away in the toilet bowl. both did so cos they can really see tat the mother is repentent n wants to start afresh wid the kid. the policemen were outside waiting and when they went into the room to check, they found nth n so the lady got away. but wad's the right thing to do again? shld a doctor merely be a doctor and not a judge? shld the doctor cover up for the mother? while i'm positively sure tat the mother will repent and not go back to old ways, are we suppose to be citizens n leave the decision of whether the mother shld be jailed or not to the judge? n think of the implications to the child. he wld have no one to properly guide and teach the child. wld it then, be a vicious cycle where the child gets into trouble jus lyk the mum?
i wonder...n i guess it's these qns tat kept me awake. ethics. compassion. judgement. i wonder wad's the right thing to do.....
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Saturday, September 08, 2007 @ 4:13 pm
okay. my 171st post. jus realised tat my 170th post is on 7 sept 07. wid all the 7s there. quite cool :) well. i haven't been feeling good these days :( keep having flu. every alternate day. i dunno why. immune system is pretty weak. n at the wrong time!! argh! muz get well soon gal!
met ji chen in tuition class. he's a nice guy. can clique well. n he still has tat accent when he speaks english. haha. wanted david and him to sit beside me and hui ming during tuition ytday. but there was this gal tat sat in my row. i was lyk...wad the...why do u sit on that row since u know it's hui ming and my fav row?? grr. i tried to find another row tat's entirely empty and there's enough lighting, but there isn't. so i jus sat there in tat same old row, knowing v well tat there's only space only for me and hui ming. so when hui ming entered, she was a bit surprised at why tat "stranger" sat beside me. cos she knows tat i also want the jjc boys to sit beside me. sigh. oh well. in the end, they sat in the row in front of us and we managed to tok towards the end. n glad i cld teach them one of the qns towards the end of the lesson too (: and we all walked towards mrt tgt. showed them the new way to go to mrt. hui ming was toking to ji chen all along the way so din manage to get a chance to tok to him face-to-face. well, at least i got a chance to tok to tat tall david! haha. both of them are tall anyway. both in bb and both 1.80m plus. haha. after seeing ashiq for so long, their height is still okay to me. jus feels a bit short when i stand so close beside them. well, david keeps giving me tat cute yet mature face. haha. hey man. better get disciplined and focus on studying k? btw, david was my pri sch fren. in my pri 6 class somemore! perphas, tat's why i can tok quite easily to him too. nothing to be v cautious abt. oh well. if things go okay and hui ming gets used to the jjc boys soon, i was hoping for a dinner together one day after tuition! bring them to the famous and nice claypot chicken stall at clementi! jus nearby! yay. feel so excited toking abt it (: hopefully, it wun crash wid my cell and it'll be after prelims. not too near A's else we'll all be slightly unwilling. and perhaps, after A's too!! =)
yesterday, at cell, deb brought her fren Alice! it's nice to have her company. frm msia. jus came down. n surprisingly, my age! jeremy's and le jing's age too! =) i'm glad she can get used to us and can understand during our bible study at cell. we all went out for supper for prata too. as a celebration for nic's last cell grp mtg wid us b4 he entered ns. yea. it was nice. and the youths eat so much la. we all ordered drink and prata but the adults ordered drink only. and uncle clarence treated. one day man. one day, muz return this favour/blessing to them. well, alice is attendin wesley methodist chr, i think. wid her uncle. well, at least she's attending a chr. but she's more than welcome to join us. it was a bit hard to keep the convo goin. i also dunno why. dunno wad's wrong wid me these days. a bit hard to keep convos going when toking/making new frens. sigh. perhaps i'm losing tat outgoing personality? or maybe cos i was disturbed tat day; at tat time when i entered cell; entered the hse. thank God for letting Jeremy teach me, over dinner, wad it means to let go and how we shldn't let things tat happen arnd us affect us. shld jus hand it all to God. he reminded me of the song "God will make a way" and ask me to look intently at the lyrics..yeah...all to God. not easy but all to Him. shldn't let it be affected.
cell was good. on worry and...masters. yeah. worry was the one tat left a big impression in us cos it's the last topic we covered. and we had a long discussion on masters and pursue and desire for money. yeah. well, all up there in head. dun wanna spill it out lest i forget once i let it out. okay. so tat's abt it. thank God for nicholas! for leading us in many cell grp bible study! thank God for his creative ways and letting us be able to comprehend the message easily. and at least, he finally got a chance to use the application bible tat deb's mum gave! (:
thank God for bringing sarah home safely. though wid a missing socks. haha. miss you gal!
i know this is a long post and each para is really long. but i really dunno where to cut in each para so tat one para will look smaller. haha. oops. sorry. thanks for sticking arnd. btw, KHALIS WILL BE BACK TOMORROW!!!! YES!! =))))
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Friday, September 07, 2007 @ 3:57 pm
Hello. below are pictures tat are taken during the BBQ on wed, 5th sept. thanks le jing and jeremy for organising this! and thanks for the great turn up, Overcomers! hope u all had fun! =) and the photos are edited cos i din wanna use flash to take the pictures. so had to brighten them up on my own. pardon me if the edit isn't v good either..haha..
Jeremy, le jing and myself. the first photo we took when jeremy's back in singapore!
Bernice and Le Jing
Let's BBQ!
And BBQ again..sorry jeremy..your face is a bit distorted...
Lydia and Jun May sharing a sausage. haha..
Finally.....SMILE peeps! =))
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Tuesday, September 04, 2007 @ 8:06 pm
reading the last post tat can be seen from my blog. at the last para: "one thing that struck me is tat the phone n my possessions are His n if it's taken away, i should not be too worried n should jus trust God". this was indeed a reminder to me now, again. sigh. feeling pretty down now. jus suddenly. miss the times and the feelings when there is someone to look forward to every nite after dinner; after a TV show. argh. i miss it! but that last sentence...yar...everything i have is His. anything tat He has blessed me wid. He can also take away and He has the right to anyway. but one thing i can be assured of, He never does anything carelessly or for fun. rather, he has everything planned out so tat things will work out for the good and for His glory. well, Job did say this: "The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." Job 1:20b. sigh. it's not easy to have this attitude like Job but it's not impossible. God's Word is our guide and tat includes this verse! Stand strong, Sharon!
on a separate note, i hope they aren't going thru a rough patch. i hope not. though i discovered something today but i dun wish to read into things too much. i dare not ask her. can only jus pray...
on another issue again, i wish sometimes tat i can turn things back. undo things tat has been done. i wish i can be a better sister. be a better example. do the right things. don't make wrong choices so tat i wun become a stumbling block. sigh. i wish...sometimes i really wish. n when these tots come in, i can only shake my head n say sorry to God. sigh. oh well. maybe cos i'm thinking of these things so i'm feeling down now. well, i know wad u all will say...dun look back at the past, move on ahead, dun repeat the mistakes, u can do it..blah blah blah. but sometimes, i jus wanna tok it out and dun wanna hear suggestions, as yet. reminds me of wad ppl always say abt most gals: most gals jus want the guys to listen n not wanting suggestions...familiar?
okay! today almost fell v sick...almost caught a fever since i got a flu the entire day ytday. thank God for keeping me safe thus far while i study. thank God for the short rest i'd before lunch. hope i wun get a fever or a sore throat tml and thereafter. cos i really wanna go for the BBQ tml and i nid to go for consultation on thu n my PRELIMS! are still going on nxt week plus!! musn't fall sick, gal! =)
hmm. everytime i think of that issue, i can't help feelin scared. i dunno how things will turn out on tat day. i wonder how to face the situation. n i hope my attitude will be acceptable. now, trying not to think now. cos everytime i think of it, i tend to argue in my head. tend to take revenge. play wid words. be sarcastic. n tat's certainly not good. i really wonder how to face it man. getting scared now. sigh. i think i nid a breather now. okay. shall not type anymore. shall tok now..talk to God!
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Monday, September 03, 2007 @ 1:19 am
okay. so bloggin so late at nite. haha. was ranking my topics of the subjects. hopefully it'll aid in my learning and how i'll be revising frm after prelims to A's. at least i've a clearer picture of my weak areas and my better ones. and i know wad i'll be doing frm the time btw prelims and A's! prac topical n more tys qns. so as to train myself for the A lvl std and really go in-depth into each topic and get it really well done! can't keep skimming thru and pretend and assume tat i know the topics. must go for depth not width now (for each particular subj).
ON-RIGHT! I'M DONE WID GRAPH THEORY! or at least reading thru the notes and the tb. it's great! fun! awesome! amazing! n it is definitely one field in maths tat's new and quite untouched! so if u want your name to be famous, go into graph theory and come up wid a theorem! then, yr name will be legandary. seriously. well, graphs are also made up of vertices and edges. and there are so many properities and so many types. something different from the normal maths. well, but i've yet to clear my final doubts. and i rushed today, forsaking the h2, to finish off 2 topics so tat i can meet ms tay tml. but she can't make it. neither can mr koo. n i've to wait till thu. boo. haha. oh well. at least one/half a load is off my mind =) thank God for giving me this opportunity to learn graph theory. i hope i din make a mistake and wun make a mistake in choosing this topic over geometry for a levels.
Okay. was looking at the exam timetable for A levels. pretty scary and not tt nice-looking. there are quite a number of consecutive days/papers. then, i was abt to get worried but 2 thoughts came to my mind: 1. God is wid you. he will see you through. dun nid to worry 2. as long as you prepare and are prepared, you can do it! even though there are consecutive papers =) yea. tat was comforting. so i wanna put in my best for preparation and to do it well! yea man! it's around 57 days left to my 1st paper! tat's 3 days less from 2 months! to put it more urgently, it's 1month plus. haha. ok ok. a matter of perspective yea? i'll try to be optimistic!
was toking to charles jus now. glad he sms at the right time and went on msn at the right time. thanks for taking time off to tok to me! had a great discussion and sharing. was nice toking abt many stuffs...spiritual etc. and he looked at my nick and asked me my definition of hope. so this is wad i gave: hope is having the spark in life tat brings a smile on one's face cos of the knowledge tat one has---that God is God and everything He says He is. so one can claim on these promises and smile in all circumstances. also bearing in mind tat our final destination is heaven n God will make sure we get there! Amen! yea. he's goin to scouts commander. when i asked Khalis, he said it's one of the cheong-est ones. well, muz take care of yourself there k? i expect POW training. i dunno if u might have heard it. but do be careful. thanks for your sharing jus now n i'm glad u're willing to pick yourself up again. dun lose sight of the central focus of our hearts! =) smiles always and no matter wad, i'm here. there's this thing in me. somehow, i wld be there for my frens despite wadever circumstance i may be in. tat incl my A's (:
so khalis went for his brunei trip. obs and obbd. yea. 9 days. over my sept hols. boo. haha. but i'll be fine. and i hope he'll be safe! actually, he wun see this para until he has returned. haha. but still wanna tok abt it here. haha. oh well. lookin forward to your coming back on sun! and your stories!
okay. well, wanted to respond to something. but after much thinking thru and talking to charles, i think i wun. after all, i kinda know the answers to my qn. though it's the answer i wished it'll never be; though it's an answer tat is different frm my thinking and my stand, but still, i guess i gotta accept it. n so i wun ask. wun respond. and lyk wad charles' advice jus now: do the thing where u feel God's peace is in. haha. we were joking tat it's his famous phrase/advice now. but it's true. very real too. n i know He wun want me to start a quarrel. yups. oh ya. congrats man on being cgl assistant! i'm sure u'll make a good assistant despite your situation of NS!
Ps 31:24 Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord
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Saturday, September 29, 2007 @ 6:57 pm
[30 more days to A levels]
din know why tat song jus came to my mind. but it's nice to know the full lyrics and hear the song in full =) i lyk the rhythm and melody. tat's all. i dunno if the lyrics reflects my heart but i dun think so yet. at least for now. i'm jus enjoying the lyrics. enjoy it too!
had a great! dinner wid my phys clique ytday! it was wonderful! although the famous claypot rice stall wasn't opened, we ate in another coffee shop claypot rice. it was okay. the 3 of them thanked me too. u r welcome guys! i'm jus glad we had a good time! and towards the end, when we left a few mouths, none of us want it. so we played open numbers and slowly finsh the mouths of rice aft several rounds. n i kanah twice! ha! we were also telling lame jokes. had a good laugh. haha.
oh! b4 the dinner, ji chen n david din manage to sit beside me n hui ming. so they sat somewhere behind. then, once in a while, jus turn to look at them. haha. david was wearing his specs. n boy! he looks pretty handsome n studious! haha. was telling hui ming. then, she asked me to tell him but tat's no way! if not, it'll be awkward for the both of us. haha. but well, been noticing guys tat are handsome. so it's nothing special. every other gal also does tat...i hope david isn't reading this! lol
anyway, yesterday was sure one night tat will be etched in my mind. i hope tat God will also use me to reach out to them..reach out to my clique. i wanna do more than jus organising eat-outs and meet-ups. there is a greater purpose for me in this. i'm sure He brought me this group of frens to cross my path for a purpose. i'm sure! =) cheers!
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@ 6:52 pm
Dying inside to hold you
It's turning out just another day
I took a shower and I went on my way
I stopped there as usual
Had a coffee and pie
When I turned to leave
I couldn't believe my eyes
Standing there I didn't know what to say
Without one touch
We stood there face to face
(And) I was dying indside to hold you
I couldn't believe what I felt for you
Dying inside I was dying inside
But I couldn't bring myself to touch you
You said hello then you asked my name
I didn't know if I should go all the way
Inside I felt my life have really changed
I knew that it would never be the same
Standing there I didn't know what to say
First time looked away when I whispered your name
One hello changed my life
I didn't believe in love at first sight
But you've shown me what is life
And I now I know my love (I know it's coming right)
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Thursday, September 27, 2007 @ 9:47 pm
[32 days to A levels]
so it's 32 days to A's. and it's fri tml. great. today is supposed to be the last lesson for h3 but teacher explained the qns in the tut not fast enough and we ask so many qns. so had to have one more lesson nxt week. bleah. dragggyyyy...
tomorrow going to eat dinner wid my clique. hope it wun be awkward and they'll enjoy the meal. esp the guys la. dunno if i'll make reservation and pre-order enough. haha. and tml's special for someone. well. actually, it's in 3hours 13mins. yar. memories... was telling some of my frens lyk khalis and he wonders wad i'll do. haha. my other fren too. lol. but they all are v nice to me and helped me out. love them lots.
sigh. looking at the couples at the jam-packed train today and jus heave a sigh and feel quite sad. khalis was asking me if i wanna get attached soon. my reply? oh yes. i do hope so. soon. but i also dun want this desire to blur my judgement of the nxt guy. dun wanna make another mistake. musn't rush into things no matter how much i desire it and musn't let feelings take over again. gotta seek out the Lord and see if tat's wad He wants. dun wish for another break-up. never expected the previous one to be so. we discussed it b4 we went in. shared wad a rs and commitment means. i personally felt assured tat a break-up wun happened. yet, it did. not blaming anyone here. jus thanking God tat He has seen me through and taught me something: not to trust own judgement but His. taught me abt flexibility and bending towards God's will. taught me a lesson to be more discerning and be careful. n most importantly, that He is sovereign. my only prayer now is that i will be able to survive this period of singlehood, how-ever-long it will be. i'll nv know wad God's plan is. n who knows if He wants me to single for life. so this is my prayer: to learn to walk in-step with Him and be contented as a single now and use this time to carry out His plan...
well, was looking at the devotional book tat eleena gave me. it's 1 years old already! she gave it to me last yr sept. haha. n i haven't covered half of it! lol. but it's okay. cos aft reading one section, i'll usually pause to read some books of the bible on my own or read a book tat talks abt christian values. so i'm fine! jus thinking it's coincidental tat i saw the msg eleena wrote to me. hope to read books on Grace and Freedom after A's! n the "stop dating the church" by Joshua Harris and "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge still linger at the back of my mind. i know jeremy has wild at heart! will borrow frm him soon! and grace and freedom...realised i know little of these 2 issues. when they're mentioned in my QT material and bible, i can only catch a glimpse of their meaning. but i want more. wanna know more on wad these 2 issues mean in a christian life... =) will borrow books frm aunty janet! haha. books are expensive, you know. each one cost over $20. plus, u have to choose carefully so u wun buy a book tat is too brief/shallow or too chim/profound tat u can't understand or too doctrinal which is not wad u want...besides, being a student, don't really have tat much cash! haha. oh well. the flower is 1 years old too...still at the same position..up there...oh. jus realised the doggy is more than 1 years old. haha. checked my photos and they say it's taken on 1june06. haha. my sis got another bear so there are 3 stuff toys here below!
youth camp: 18th-20th dec. tue to thu. thank God for pastor timothy phua being available to be our camp speaker. he's a GREAT speaker! n i hope we'll really learn much thru the sermons tat he'll give. kah hwee tot of having a workshop conducted during the camp. though she n i have different views, i'll still come alongside wid her. jus hope tat the youths wun get put-off when they know abt the workshop. n tat the adults can take leave! as for accomodation which i'm handling..haha. getting the voucher, most likely. so if the youths dun want the small bangalow, ma says it's ok tat we take it! yay! know wad tat means? a holiday/vacation nxt year b4 year-end! haha. wid another family fren of course! cool! it'll be nice for us to go tanjong puteri and play bowling together!! =)) and stay in a terrace house leh...2 storey high!
okay. see. blog too much and talk too much again. jus let feelings and tots flow. bleah. haha. muz be missing company of a fren to chat for long hours with at nite so bloggin here. lyk talking to myself/the computer/my blog. haha. wad an outlet. hope it doesn't make me anti-social! dun think it will either. frens are always better than this non-living thing made up of....plastic, microchips, electrons, atoms....etc...haha. okay. byes!
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Tuesday, September 25, 2007 @ 8:33 pm
[34 more days to A levels]
arh...why my siblings all call me a study freak?? haha. oh well. jus laughing away anyway. for those who know me well n for myself, i know wad i'm lyk...tat's all tat matters. haha. n i'm NOT a study freak..not v nerdy!
watched the free esp show today at lunch hr. shirlyn tan and her band. awesome! her band and herself are totally talented and wonderful! played really well! was thanking God while listenin to them! right on! and i'm surprised tat jeremy and i have similar music sense..felt tat the fast songs were a bit rock but the slow songs were nice and we enjoyed it! =) ate in pastamania too. haha. n jeremy commented tat meals wid me are all the ex ones. haha. lyk in vivo thai express and now in PS pastamania. haha. well, was justifying saying tat i hardly see him so muz eat nice. haha. i think tat's crap. lol.
after tat, went to esp lib to study. surprised to see several JC1 SAJC boys. incl my fren. so hardworking. but it's time to be so since promos are nxt week. and surprised to see them studying in ESPLANADE! well. had a good time revising mostly alone since jeremy went nearby to make his specs. did maths paper 1. good job. but also tire me out. but it pointed out several concepts n formulas tat haven't gone into my head. so gonna work on them. muz reach a point where the formulas and concepts stay in my head non-momentarily.
jeremy met his fren there too. his name was reuben. so old frens catching up. happy for them. but they also got shush by a lady sitting beside us. dun lyk her. i think she's bias. lyk only shush at the students and not other ppl. bleah. then, jeremy n i were also toking abt scholarships and uni applications and SAT test!!!
yes! i haven't taken it! n i jus heard frm jeremy tat i nid to take SAT test in order to apply for scholarship. i dunno how true tat is but i'm goin to check wid cher tml. but craps la! missed the chance in june cos i tot i wun be able to do well enough for prelims and A's to apply for scholarship. ha. din trust in the Lord. boo. my desserts then. sigh. so yar. was trying to rush to apply for SAT now but, as usual, my mum was making noise and discouraging me. say tat in reality, i can't make it for scholarships. sigh. why can't she see tat one of the main reasons why i want the scholarships or bursaries is so tat my parents dun nid to pay so much for my fees. esp since i'm their first child. they still have another 2 kids and 6 ppl under one roof to feed...i mean, tot of jus doing my part. sigh. oh well. but i'm still going to be optimistic and dream and work towards it instead of being pessimistic lyk my mum. i mean, after all, these dreams will be placed in God's hands and whatever He wills it to be done will be done to completion.
HAPPY MID-AUTUMN FESTIVAL! saw the moon today already. bright. round. nice. lovely. and had a great QT downstairs near the moon too! one of the passages were good. totally led me to jus praise and adore Him. actually, it's God's Word tat had tat great impact! awesome! you are indeed worthy of all praises, invincible God! hallelujah!
1Tim 1:17
Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.
to my boy. although u din do as well as u expected and u may still be upset by the time u read this, but i wanna tell u to press on and not give up. it's not the end. there's still a last lap to go. and i know u can make it. your sis know and believe firmly tat u can make it and do well. i know u have the potential. i nid u work harder k? really understand wad's being taught and to spend more time practising. of course, play a bit to destress but dun play until neglect studies k? and dun get distracted by wadever it is. focus and discipline. tat's wad my DP said to us a few weeks back =) finally, continue to pray and trust God alright? He knows wad u are going thru and He will see u thru this period. when u are weary and tired, turn and go to Him and He'll give u rest and peace lyk u never experience it b4. always submit all your plans n ways to Him. dun forget He is God! keep the faith and hope going! finally, a verse for you:
Psalm 31:24
Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord
to end it off, khalis have been noticing tat i've been blogging alot lately. almost one for everyday. there is a reason. but i think it's not justificable. so i'm going to blog less now. gotta focus more on my studies. everytime i blog, i'll jus keep blabbering. there seems to be lyk SOOO much to tok abt. and everytime it takes up 45mins-1hour of my time and often more. n tat's bad. spending too much time on com. so i think i'm going to cut down alot and pretty drastically. i'll still be checking emails but perhaps not blogging...so to "someone", i guess u wun read things v often n wun have a good update here. tat's why i also tot of email-ing you cos i believe i have time to write emails. wun be blabbering in the emails lyk wad i'll do on blogs. and wun write so much but rather go to main point. plus, it's more personal and no one else reads wad i wanna say but u. besides, i always have to be careful of what i write on blogs...
on the last note, wad God taught me ytday was so relevant to me today. curiously compassionate. as christians, dun be so anxious (in the good sense) to know details of wad happen to ppl but also be anxious to show comfort and compassion to the person. dun jus want details but learn to comfort to reflect God's glory...
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Monday, September 24, 2007 @ 10:51 pm
[35 more days to A levels]
got back my GP grade! D! 52.5marks. it was good! din expect it. was quite happy and satisfied. got many first times..for the first time, my compre was 28.5. for the first time, i got all Bs for my AQ thus earnin me a high of 5/8 for it! =) thank God once again! =))
had h3 test today. boo. i was pretty upset. read the notes, tutorials, borrow 2 books to prac for them, tried some qns yet, when the paper comes, i can't do most of them...wad's more, 3 qns frm the test came frm the book. and i skipped those qns in the book cos i tot they weren't in my syllabus. ha. it isn't easy man. to filter the qns on my own. plus, wanted to see teacher b4 the test but cher not free. so missed the chance to clarify things and get concepts more cleared. i wonder wad went wrong and how to improve so tat it wun happen again. sigh. oh well. h3 really ain't easy man. thinking abt the stress now. sigh. perhaps cos prelims is jus nxt wk. argh... stressful....
felt the pain since ytday to today. when i'm alone. bad. was trying to brain-wash myself and tell myself to be happy instead. but well. i guess the bottom line is to do it wid God's might and not on my own strength. yet, i wun deny tat i have to put in effort to. so i believe it's abt "op". yea. i hope i'll really start to embrace this mindset not jus for this situation but for the events to come in the future. i jus pray tat God will be wid me now, till then and then. wanna clear my mind off this trival stuff! muzn't let it affect me...
going out to esplanade to watch lunchbox wid jeremy tml!! yay! the free show at lunch hour! plus lunch b4 that. then, study at my fav place: esp library! tat reminds me! gotta bring jacket! yups. yay. end sch tml at 11am =) great! i hope we wun be late (not lyk last time when i watched wid wei hao) and tat we'll get a good seat :) jus a time of chilling of jazz music...n a brother's company...yup..i guess tat's wad i nid! good for clearin my mind! ah...arts stuffs..been some time since i went for such prog =)
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Sunday, September 23, 2007 @ 10:11 pm
Your Steadfast Love
Your steadfast love extends to the heavens
Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds
Your righteousness is like majestic mountains
And the wisdom like the depths of the sea
And You come to me
Filling my heart is your loving kindness
I find my peace in the shadow of Your wings
I eat my fill from the abundance in Your household
And I drink from the streams of rejoicing
You are my King
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@ 9:33 pm
[36 more days to A levels]
okay. though ken was late for church today, but i'm glad he made it for the JPTN in the later part of the day. it was nice to see him again. one of the rare times to see him in contacts and he totally did up his hair! haha. had lunch wid him and the uncle joseph's family. and teh 3 guys kept on toking abt uni and engineering modules...bleah..i jus had to keep my mouth shut la! it was so.... anyway, after tat went JP lib to study. glad to be back there again. but couldn't see any of my frens there. he drove me home and i offered him dinner at my place. baked rice. he's really lucky. and we also went west mall to shop a while for coloured sand for his gf. couldn't find and jus settled for coloured beads (:
well, tml got H3 test!!! n i was doin one of the tutorials yesterday..it was so hard and confusing. i couldn't figure out which of the 4 methods to apply! i had to read and re-read the qn to see wad they are asking. n wad's more, i got it mixed up wid my H2. bleah. now still not v sure but teacher is goin thru tml. but it's tested tml..i wonder how i'm going to do it....
sigh. jus planned again. draft 2 of my revision. it's soooooo packed! i'm afraid i'll do last min for geog. i dun want man. i had better not. not for A levels. and in my planning, i din leave room for consultations. and i had to follow my schedule on top of assignments given! esp phys and geog ESSAYS!!! plus phys tuition hw! i was telling myself ytday nite, tat's how it is man. when u have tuition. u jus gotta give time to attending the lessons AND doing the tuition hw. it makes me wonder how Le Jing and Nigel are coping wid more than 2 tuitions! i guess tat's why they are stressed? but i hope they will be fine. yet, another thought was coming to my mind: once u take tuition, u jus gotta incoporate the tuition hw into your study schedule and as part of the revision plan. jus take them as revision and do your best in them, and not as an obstacle or "time-taker" of your own revision plan....yups :)
wondering whether i shld ask the sch to give me a predicted grade. no harm rite? but the tough part is finding the scholarships to apply to. honestly, i'll jus whack any scholarship tat comes. jus send in application and write essays if nid to. bleah. it's going to be another bout of paper work. ha. today jeremy was asking me which country i wanna study in. i was lyk, anything also can. ahha. dunno when i get this mindset. perhaps cos right now, i'm jus focusing on A's and getting good grades for them. not really thinking too far into the future. haha. but honestly, for UK, i'll be extra careful. the exchange rate is extremely HIGH. if i go there, i muz be sure ALL my tuition fees and expenses and accomodation are covered FULLY. i definitely dun want my parents to pay so much for me. come on man. it's lyk S$1 to 3pounds!! as for US, Australia, Europe...okay la. jus tat US a bit far. maybe can see my uncle in New York! =) sigh. oh well. jus do well for A's and that will get u anywhere u want! =)) tat's wad ppl say...
okay...nxt post is a song..it's lyrics are super meaningful. every sentence talks and speaks abt 1 of the many characterstics that God posses. amen! =) some pics below on the mid autumn festival held at Thomson Road Baptist Church. hear chinese sermon after so long...nice...
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Saturday, September 22, 2007 @ 9:59 am
[37 more days to A levels]
Okay. so i hit the 30s already. soon it'll be 1mth exactly. okay. i'm good. i'm fine. thank God for cell grp last nite. all the good reports we shared frm the last time when we asked for prayer requests. n i'm included too! thank God for honouring man when we honour him. thank God for speaking through various means: the Holy Spirit, the sermon, the Bible. thank God for His guidance through His Word.
when i told my frens i got ABB, they were happy for me. said i did well and tat i'll get AAA for A levels. haha. though it's not possible, i jus smiled. i guess, for me, it's a matter of perspective and handling dreams and reality. honestly, ABB isn't my dream. but when i do take a step back and look, putting my dreams and expectations aside, it really is well-done. but still, one thing still remains, "I sing praises to Your Name, oh Lord". (taken frm a song).
okay. felt tremors for the 3rd time this year and the 3rd time in my life. on thur. during h3 lesson. most of them din feel it but i did. so did linda. ming de was fully concentrating on the work. and so was teacher. and surprisingly, the sch din call for a gathering at the track. i'm starting to wonder and get worried. is the sch starting to assume things? that the sch buildin will be safe no matte how many times it experienced tremors? so there is no need to evacuate the students? well, i dunno. but all i heard is tat thur's earthquake hit a ritcher scale of 6.4-7. arnd there. oh well. to me, tremors start to become a norm already. jus tat, i muz learn to differentiate feeling tremors and feeling giddy...
yes! going for mission trip! to myanmar! 24th nov-1st dec. thank God for parent's consent. one grp is going but we'll be spilt to 2 small grps. one goes to help out in the young adults retreat and another to the orphanages tat my chr supports. initially, i was supposed to go help out. the plannin committee jus puts me down. i was supposed to pray abt it n see if God wants me to go to the orphanages. oh well. now dun nid to pray for guidance already. cos mum said i can go for the mission trip based on 2 criteria: 1. to help out at the orphanages and not travel by nite bus to the village to help out wid the retreat 2. to pay half of the trip
of course i'll pay half of the trip! even if u dun say, i'll still insist! but well, for orphanages, tat settles it! i'm not disappointed or anything but jus take it as a sign frm God unless He tells me otherwise as time goes by! but, anyway, i did feel a slightly stronger inclination to help out at the orphanages than help out at the retreat. i can jus picture myself and uncle joseph bringing smiles to the kids, teaching them bible stories, teaching them songs, teaching them actions, playing games wid them, hugging them, bringin them close to my heart...boy...it really makes me excited too! yay! so it isn't a bad thing after all (: jus tat, well, will miss my parents' 20th wedding anniversary :( anyway, looking fwd to the trip and gotta raise funds too! waiting for the other youths response and then, if someone else is going, perhaps, we'll raise funds tgt! =)
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Friday, September 21, 2007 @ 11:38 am
[38 more days to A levels]
using sch com now. n the words in this window is in chinese!! but manage to "scrap" through. ha. chinese...been a long time since i've touched it. n i almost forgot how to write my chinese name! haha. cannot forget my roots man. luckily i still rmb wad's the meaning of chinese name..haha..
well, reporting time. managed to gain marks for maths and phys to get an A and B respectively. and got a B for chem. manage to be at the border of B. thank God. so it's ABB. gotta wait for h1 geog. yups. will be some time since i'll get it. was finding, practically squeezing 4marks for maths. me and my teacher. and the B for phys i'd to go find last nite and wasted some time. n i also question teacher on one of my answers. yay..
toking abt phys, well, really wanna thank God for seeing thru my phys journey thus far all the way to prelims! thank you! it really wasn't easy. and the first thing my mum said when i told her my phys result is, "hey..u improved!" indeed, i have. frm fluctuating marks but arnd E,S,U kinda grade to B. morale has always been not so good. often quite demoralised and felt lyk giving up. phys isn't my cup of tea. but lookin at the prelims result makes me wonder if A probable for A levels. is it?? i really wonder. but i'll do my best on tat day. definitely. if i really do get A, THANK YOU LORD! if i dun, I STILL WANNA GIVE THANKS TO YOU! always be joyful in all circumstance. if God gives me an A, it's definitely by His grace.
anyway, all credit is given to God! my prelim results and the revision and the frens arnd me tat help me out. yeah. and jus pray tat God will see me thru my remaining 38 days of revision to A levels!
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Wednesday, September 19, 2007 @ 10:38 pm
[40 days to A levels]
this is for MKZ and "someone" who have recently tagged on my blog:
sorry guys for taking so long to respond to your tags. din see it till late ytday and so had not enough time n energy to respond. i know MKZ din meant the tags for me but i still wanna say my opinions here?
firstly, to MKZ. thanks alot for your concern to me. i know full well tat u meant me good. meant to voice out the opinions and feelings that i dare not say. most importantly, thanks for sticking by me and hearing me out. when i read your tags, i was a bit shocked. haha. well, were u a bit too harsh? maybe straight-forward uh? but i'm glad u are brave enough to leave your email add so "someone" can get back to you directly too. but i hope there wun be any quarrels k?
secondly, to "someone". well , MKZ has always been my v good fren. my buddy. n i did tell MKZ abt "you" and your taggings. and no doubt, lyk wad MKZ said, your taggings did affect me both good and bad. while being blessed and encouraged by the verses you gave me and the encouragements to press on, i was also negatively affected where i'd a whole bout of confused feelings. i din dare say cos i tot i'll jus play along.. but well, MKZ helped me open up a door. haha. confused feelings not mainly abt your identity but the reason behind your anonymity. being a thinker, i think alot abt the reasons why u remain so for the past few days. n aft i'd shared wid MKZ and other frens, they told me i have let them go. have to put them down cos it's jus taking up my time and making me lose focus. so, lyk wad MKZ said, i'd to force myself to put these tots down. well, but i wld say tat, to me, MKZ was a bit direct n harsh. MKZ left you the email add n if you want, u can contact MKZ. but i hope both of you wun quarrel or start scolding each other. pls dun k? well, i guess, aft seeing wad MKZ says, i really wonder wad u are thinking. will i stop seeing your tags on the board?? or will u reveal yourself?? but all i can say is tat it's your choice still. i can't make you stay but the opinion i wanna give is tat i'll miss u when u are gone...it's really been some time when i have someone who consistently encourages SPIRITUALLY. n i'm sure u know it makes a whole lot of difference when God's perspective is said...
but hey! MKZ! if u are seeing the above para to "someone", it doesn't mean i forgot abt u! u're still my bestest BEST FREN! =)
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Tuesday, September 18, 2007 @ 11:41 pm
[41 more days to A levels]
Recently something happened tat made me think of how i handles my frenships. n i wonder whether i'm doing it the right way...or is there a right way to do things with regards to this issue?
i realised i plan alot of outings. as in, i take the initiative. i lyk meals. having a get-together wid my cliques b4 we dis-band. is lyk to commemorate something..tat once, we were close. to have tat memory etched in our minds. to re-connect back tgt and to catch ups. to have a fun n relaxing time, having the memory tat though we met under academic circumstances, we did have the non-academic and fun side when we crossed paths.
yet, through it all, organising and attending these things do have a sacrifice on me and those involved. our time, energy and study/revision. well, okay. i shld say thanks to all who were willing to accept my invitation to go out wid me and giving me your time and energy. hmm. but still, is this how i shld deal wid my frenships? puttin them first b4 my studies? i always think they are more impt since it is frenships/relationships tat last n not the qualification cert. hmm...
perhaps the key is to balance and not swing to the extreme. then, pray tat i will not step over the line and "go too far"....
***
okay..suddenly feel lyk toking abt my spiritual life...well, have to be more disciplined in praying. yes. i muz. can't let other things over-throw prayers.
got a devotional material recommended by Gloria called Our Journey. she said it's more teens-like. so trying out. every page is coloured. n though the length of passage is longer compared to Our Daily Bread, i have to keep telling myself to press on and to finish reading it. cos i muz train myself up to read long devotional passages already. goin to be a young adult soon. so far, been not too bad.
was reading abt the verse on do not be anxious abt anything...the material toks abt worry too and how worry hinders us frm doing wad's impt. indeed, it reminded me of wad nic went thru wid us b4 he left. frm matt 6:33, we can see tat there are real challenges tat God wants us to pursue but worry stops us frm doing so. amen to tat!
n in kah hwee's email, she pointed this out too. wow. got lots to pray for abt the youth ministry. i muz pray abt tat too...mm. have to be a dilligent worker already..
n though it's hard to face so-and-so again, but after reading the email tat uncle clarence sent, i think i really shld go and not run away. i dunno how the turn-out wld be like but i do hope it's something tat God will use for the good...
got an email frm eleena tat i sent to several of u..it's awesome. initially, it came to me abt christians who ain't really growin/goin to chr. i dunno why. but only a christian wld carry the cross. but all those cutting off the bottom of the cross jus makes me think of short-cuts. tat we jus, u know, skip bible classes, cell group, church services. then, when trouble comes, when u nid to cross over, u dun have a strong enough relationship and foundation of His Word. well, the bottom line tat was given (tat was meant to be) is tat no pain no gain and that there will always be a reason for tat pain/work... below is the comic strip..pls also note tat on 18/9, i have 2 posts. the other one is aft the comic strip...
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@ 10:30 pm
[41 days to A levels]
Alright. so PRELIMS ARE FINALLY OVER! after dragging so long over sept hols too. had a good break. deserving break. wid none other than my buddy, Yong Hui! yay! it was awesome! firstly, he was such a nice fren. sent me a reply on sms n said tat he can plan later aft the paper n wun leave me alone. wow. when i saw it i was shocked yet comforted. nice. thanks lotz pal!
so aft the paper, we collected our chem stuffs and photos! then he haven't eaten breakfast. so we ate nearby and think of what place to go. so after getting the movie timings for the rat show from stephanie, we went to vivo city! watched ratatouille! and in the 2K digital type!! i was so surprised! haha.
it was good. the movie was good. inspiring pointers! seriously! i rmb hearing at the beginning: Cleaniness is next to Godliness! tat was the same phrase used in Gattacca! awesome! n now in the rat show. there were other phrases lyk if u keep focusing on the past, u'll never move forward..the nxt time i watch, i'll definitely take out a pen n paper n write those pointers down! jus now, i wanted to "whip" my HP out n type them in but i'm afraid it'll disturb yh, so i din. but the nxt i'll rent the dvd n write them down!
oh ya. the show timing was 1045am n we reached the cinema at 11am. it was jus nice. we only watched 1 adverisement then the show started. perfect. jus wad i wanted. little time wasted on advertisements. haha. n yh n i have to go find lobby H la. at some carpark. grr. but it led us rite up to it. in tat cinema which was pretty deserted, there were also 4-5 other saints sitting in front of us. so embarrassing for me. got iven. dun wan ppl to see me n yh leh. haha. so quickly leave aft movie. but still saw the gals in the toilet. sigh. n saw ming xian, weng san n another guy at the rooftop there. haha.
so after the movie, we went for lunch. noticed tat vivo has v few famous restaurants. haha. after looking at several restaurants, we settled for Terra. 10% off for students. set lunch. clam chowder soup (my 1st time trying n i got so many clams. haha). ice cream is frm nestle. can taste it out. n we got a card each! a discount card wid no expiry date! n it entitles me to 10% per visit! perfect! plus, i finally got my GV movie club card!! in the shape of a popcorn. haha. for the first time, lunch wasn't filling after eating in a restuarant. n for the first time, i ate faster than yh!! haha! yes!
so shop shop shop till our feets ached so many times tat we have to sit down n take a break. luckily vivo has those seats at the lobbies for us to rest man. so we went in one gift shop aft another. cos i was lookin for a present for sh n yw. also went to one shop and got a gift for ken. saw tat present then realised i haven't given him anythin for his 21st bday! haha. so i immediately bought it and arranged to meet him. haha. n i hope he gives me a lift home! i haven't sat in his car yet. haha. n i got 2 earrings for sh n yw. i hope they aren't looking at my blog now... i hope they like it. wanted to buy a v nice necklace for myself but was broke and tot it's slightly ex. sigh. i hope i wun regret missing this chance...haha..i hope i'll see it again. its chain is unique..not straight chain but twisted and there are black crystals on it. it's beautiful! am i regretting now..oops..
anyway, after resting and finding tat candy shop, we went outside n take photos! yay! at least got photos for memory. n we took so many la! got abt 5 of us jus smiling into the camera. haha. then, got other poses. see below for some. haha. can't believe we took so many. the best ones i like is the ones where we self-timer and lean against the railing. it was pretty scary and risky cos u'll never know when a person might come forward and steal the phone. but thank God nth happened and everything was fine. nice photos but wun be uploading cos i dun want ppl to get the wrong idea. haha. n nothing is gonna happen. trust me. n BOTH of us are positively sure!
so all in all, i met lyk noelle n the soccer gals, the h3 gal wid the green num bag (i forgot her name), eliza n yin jing, iven n frens, ming xian n weng san n fren...tat's abt all..below are some photos, check it out!
plus a video tat i made on windwos movie maker! was playing arnd! it's fun! really! but can't have frames lyk wad victor did..but having been inspired by him, i'll do one for the youths too! yes! below is a video on my 18th bday celebration at home =) on your speakers! can't wait to do one for the youths and for one/two/three/four/five of my family members. can't drop hint..wanna keep it secret till time is right! one of our nicest and brightest photos we took...
yh n i in deep tots...
wow..look at the bright light frm up there..haha. but main emphasis is the pointing to each other..
look there! why??
oh yar..the candy shop!
jus took some pictures at vivo...the railings (up) and the fountain (below)..
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Sunday, September 16, 2007 @ 7:54 pm
[43 more days to A levels]
"whenever you feel lyk giving up, don't dread how much more you have to go. look back at how far you've come and press on" from Khalis' blog
THAT WAS SUCH AN AWESOME QUOTE! honestly! when i saw it, i tot he was writing to me. haha. but thinking abt it somemore, it can be for himself. yar. so khalis, if u're reading this, thanks for the quote and rmb yr own quote too! 18more weeks uh? on right! then, let's sign up for scuba divin together in jan?? haha. if my mum allows it :)
okay. 43 more days to A levels. alright. scary. gotta press on. tue's phys prelim. last paper! yes! and hopefully can go out and celebrate. feel lyk goin to bugis junction and watching a movie. but....nvm. will most prob catch the free lunchbox at the end of this mth too. at lunch hr at esp concert hall. then, after tat it's study! at esp lib. i miss tat place so so much. yea. so it's not jus all play and no work k?
well, tat's abt all i gotta say. will be changing my blogskin soon after prelims! jia you for prelims and A's ppl!!
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Saturday, September 15, 2007 @ 1:39 am
[44 days to A levels]
order of entries below (from earliest timing to latest timing):
“Angels brought me here” by Guy Sebastian
Ho Yun’s car
“Soulmate” by Natasha Bedingfield
Doggy and dun feed bad mindset!
Timetable mix-up and Maths paper2
Cross pendant
To mr X/someone
Friday
“You are/You are Lord” by Hillsong
I started wid a song and ended wid a song. thanks for sticking arnd. i jus added a playlist! under my section of "profile". the first link on the left column =)
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@ 1:38 am
You are/You are Lord
You are my light and salvation,
Whom shall I fear?
You are the strength of all my days,
Of whom shall I be afraid?
Though war may rise against me,
Of this will I be sure
That I will bless the Lord forever
I’ll bless your holy Name
Yes, I will bless the Lord forever
I’ll bless you holy Name
Lord it is you I desire,
It’s you that I seek
To live with you in your house forever
Beholding your beauty
In times of trouble
Of this will I be sure
That I will bless the Lord forever
I’ll bless your holy Name
Yes, I will bless the Lord forever
I’ll bless you holy Name
You ask me who do I,
Say that you are and I,
Say that you are the Christ,
Son of the living God
AMEN!
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@ 1:36 am
Finally, today, my mum said I din exceed my HP bill for the first time! Yay! Woohoo! I can’t believe it! Not even my calls! I know I din exceed my sms but I can’t believe I din exceed my calls. Haha. But I did have to pay to sunpage for the calls I made out. Well, toking abt sms and phone, I got a MMS frm khalis ytday! I can’t believe it! My first time. At first, I was wondering wad’s the logo on my phone. Then, I realised it’s an MMS tat’s coming in. ohh..he sent me 3 pics somemore! Of his training. Fighting real fire. Was telling me abt his throat being parched. Yea. see him in action (tho I wonder if it’s him in the pic. Cld only see a man in yellow suit). But in any case, it was nice. And showed my siblings too. sarah said fighting fire is cool! I think so too! I esp wanna know how to use those fire hydrants we see along the roads and the fire engine. Haha. Wad do they call tat small red jeep? Little red dinosaur? Or little red hippo? I’m not sure. Haha. But I know there’s an animal’s name in it. Haha. Anyway, I hope he’ll continue pressing on and staying fine through this fasting month! It’s not goin to be so bad k? =) n did I mention a lot abt u in my previous post?? I wonder…
Okay. So I jus used the excel to help me count the no of days left to the start of A levels. I think I’m gonna put it at the top of every post now..nice. good reminder. Anyway, jus ask excel to put down the dates in order all the way from 15th sept to 30th oct, the start of my phys paper3. yup. 45 days. Everyday, hopefully, goin to cancel out one row by one row. Count-down! Going to write down on my calendar! Sigh. Haven’t started planning. Gotta start soon! 45 days!!! So much less than 2months!! Buck up Sharon! U muz make it and do it well! A levels!!!!!!
Finally, on the post above, it’s the song “You Are/You Are Lord” from Hope Cd by hillsong. It’s awesome! I love the lyrics! Especially the verses. Was listening to it on the way home or while studying maths. Was listening at the lyrics then wondering wad song it is. Then when I “lighted” up the screen of my mp3, I found out it’s “you are”. I was surprised why I never really noticed this song b4. perhaps, at different times, God speaks to us through different songs. Thank God for this song tat speaks so much to me =) yays! Check it out!
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@ 1:34 am
This post here is solely dedicated to “mr x”/”someone”:
Jus wanna take this chance here to really thank you for all the encouragements u’ve been giving me on my tagboard. Though I dunno who you are but it’s nice to see your tags for the past 2 weekends. Although sometimes I’m a bit blur abt wad race/road u are toking abt, but I guessed it’s my last lap to A’s. am I right? Well, jus wanna shout out a big THANK YOU! here to you on this post =) hope it brings you smiles on your face jus as how your encouragements bring a smile on mine =)
Yet, I hope tat this is doing more good than harm. Of course, I benefit from it. But I hope it wun bring harm to you. there muz be some reason why you are keeping your identity secret. It puzzled me and made me think for 2 days. I came up wid several reasons and one of them is tat you are afraid of me?? Or tat you are confused whether or not to take the bold step forward to reveal yourself cos in doing so, the consequences/outcome tat happens may bring you more trouble? Well, I really have no idea cos I’m not you and I dunno who you are. But I know you have your own good reason for remaining anonymous and I respect you for tat. But I hope it wun make you even more confused and unsure of wad u really want. I hope it wun create in you a character of uncertainty (I wonder if there’s such a phrase) and un-sureness. N tat’s the harm I’m toking abt. I dun jus want myself to benefit but I want you to benefit too. so I hope u cld perhaps, spend some time thinking why u wanna encourage me yet remain anonymous. Is there a reason/cause u’ve not faced up to yet?
I know tat in saying this, I may not hear frm you again. I’ll miss you. and I’ll miss your encouragements tat have so brought me much joy and comfort. But I wld rather tat u not come to harm than me keep on benefiting. On the other hand, if u think I’m thinking too much and things are goin fine wid u, you’re all the more welcome to tag (whether anonymously or not). Looking fwd to your tags! Adding life to my tagboard too. haha. Besides my sis, sarah. And if u, Mr X and someone, are the same person, ya..is it possible if I make one small request and hope u cld stick to one nick? Jus one small request and hope u can grant me my wish.
Thanks for the bible verse tat u gave me and hope my bible verse helps u too. take care and God bless you! stay strong in the Lord =) and thanks for taking time to read my blog entries (:
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@ 1:30 am
Alright. So the necklace tat clovis gave me last time broke. But I kept the cross pendant. Then, while putting something in my drawer, I found an empty hp keychain wid a hook at the end. Then, an idea came to me. Attached both the cross pendant and the strap together and viola! I got this!
Yes! Nice eh? It’s such a good reminder to me. I hope it doesn’t poke my flesh when I put it in the pocket of my jeans. But I was v pleased wid it and very happy. But the cross a bit pink already. Gotta go perlins to polish it. Hope I can find time one day!! =)
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@ 1:11 am
I GOT MY TIMETABLE MIX-UP!! For maths paper, I tot it was in the morning on thu! Haha. When I entered sch in the morning, I was surprised to see so few JC2s and most of all, I din see my class at their usual table in the café. Which I was certainly v surprised cos ppl lyk jannah, xw and kamalesh are early. But I still headed to morning worship. There, I saw steffi and asked for the timetable frm her. Although she din have it, through her, I found out tat the maths paper was in the afternoon. I was like..wad the…cld have slp in more if I knew it was in the afternoon!! I had to drag myself outta bed tat morning!
Anyway, a few of her classmates were there. So I hang arnd wid them. Was supposed to queue up behind them in the track but I wasn’t walking fast enough and had to stand behind a JC1 class. Not too bad after all. Then, I sat wid them to study. Grace, jia hui, anthea (I lyk tat name. hope I spelled it correctly), xiao ting (I think) and steffi herself. Grace was rather restless and kept playing HP games at one point of time. Steffi and jia hui were plucked into their mp3 and studying. While xiao ting and anthea were studying, definitely. We all sat outside the SC.
And there and then, I got a chance to teach xiao ting. Lyk really a lot. I can’t believe she missed out so much. On the use of GC. She was learning frm her maths guide book how to do the old method but I was teaching her to use the GC. And taught her invNorm too. Boy. And tat maths paper, came out quite a lot of invNorm qns. I hope she understood wad I was explainin and know how to use the GC to do the qns. But all in all, I was glad I got a chance to teach her! =))
The maths paper 2…I DIED IN PURE MATHS!!! Of all the 2 sections, I died in pure maths!! Stats was smooth for me. Except P&C. quite weak in circle qns. So not sure if my ans was correct. But the rest lyk poisson, binomial, probability, normal distribution were okay for me. No circling of qns. No messing up wid GC. No weird ans. But for pure maths, I totally died!
I couldn’t do the first qn on complex no. was totally shocked to see tat the non-argand diagram came out. I guess because of my shock, I din try hard for tat qn. Also, I din study tat section of complex no so I tot I’ll surely will not be able to do it. Nevertheless, I tried the qn but I still failed. I guessed I’d mental block. Couldn’t think a bit more and manipulate the qn so tat I can answer it. In another words, I couldn’t even start. So I had to skip the entire qn of 7 marks!!
Then, the nxt qn: DE! Was quite happy. Expected it mah. N aft practising quite a no of time, I tot I could do it. I THOUGHT! But I couldn’t. was stuck when trying to solve it! I forgot tat I’m suppose to get rid of the ln!! so stupid! Dunno how many practices I do already. And H3 maths still got DE tat chap yet I can’t do!! Argh. I spent quite a lot of time on it initially. Can’t accept tat I can’t do it and so I insisted on trying it. But, I had to force myself to move on cos I haven’t touched on stats. So aft completing the entire paper and had left over time, I went back to do tat qn. So all in all, I believe I’d spent arnd half-hour on it. So much rite? And still can’t solve. Sigh. Stupid.
Then, the nxt hard qn for tat pure maths section was vectors. Visualise wrongly initially. So thank God for opening up my eyes and see tat I read wrongly and after changing the diagram, I could do most of the qns. So jus hope tat they are correct and I din had any careless or concept mistake.
Well, counted and I guessed I can score an A if stats were all correct ( is it possible??). but I need at least a 73 in order to get A overall. So jus hoping hard tat paper 2 is an A. but I wun deny tat B overall looks probable…
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@ 12:59 am
Alright. So I bet you saw the Soulmate song tat’s below. Kept hearing it on radio these few days. I lyk the way the singer sings. It’s clear. And the lyrics are quite simple. It also reflects wad most gals want in a guy—someone tat doesn’t need to be told how to love..haha. but it also brought qns to my mind. I dun quite agree wid the concluding statement. I dun think God has a plan for a soulmate for EVERYONE. I believe that there are some ppl whom God wants them to remain as single so tat they can serve God better. For example, Paul in the Bible din get married. And he was encouraging Tim not to too. But yet, Paul is not saying marriage isn’t good. After reading a book tat toks slightly abt this topic, it said tat if remaining single cause your righteousness towards God to be threatened, then, it’s better to get married. Well, I’m not saying tat one shld marry only if the commitment towards God is threatened. Nor am I saying tat one shld marry only for self-interest. But I wld say it’s a good reminder tat in marriage, God shld still be the central focus and tat they shld build each other up so that they can exercise righteousness towards God. Moral righteousness and religious righteousness. Tat’s wad Nic taught us the other time! Hee..okay. the book was insightful. Yups.
Great! I’ve finally washed the doggy. It’s been arnd un-washed for abt a year already. Was counting. N I guess tat’s why I keep getting flu recently. Cos it was on my bed beside my pillow. But I’ve been falling v sick during sept hols and was wondering why. One of the reasons was my weak immune system. But it was really a sudden bout of flu. Then I saw the doggy and it really looked dusty. So I sent it for washing! Yay! Now it’s so much cleaner! So much better. Was shocked when I saw the colour of the doggy. It’s as good as new. Yay! =)
On wed nite, the nite before my geog paper, I suddenly had this v weird feeling. The feeling of not wanting to study for geog. Was v sian of it. Felt lyk giving up. Even for A’s. felt lyk there was simply too much to cover, too much to memorise and dun wanna study for it. Was struggling throughout that nite. Kept running to my mum to tok to her. N showed her the topics needed to cover for geog. Argh. It’s really a lot. Well, I admit I was doing last-min work so I feel the pressure but then, it affected my mindset for A’s pretty badly. i knew it was wrong. Told khalis and he doesn’t wanna scold me. I dun think he shld also else it’ll be lyk “spoon-feeding” me indirectly. Givin me wad I want so I can press on. No! I muz learn how to press on and move on and motivate myself and solve this PROBLEM myself. Can’t keep relyin on other ppl….sigh. muz get rid of this mindset. I was writing this in my diary ytday. Drawing a parallel between this and wad the Bible says abt sinful nature. Jus as how God commands us not to gratify the desires of the sinful nature and to “take captive every thought and make it obedient to God”, similarly, I shld not feed on the thoughts of not preparing for A’s. not think abt it and to put tat, rather, throw tat to one side. Well. So tat’s it. This is the last time I’ll be toking abt it. N hopefully so! Go away, bad thought!!
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@ 12:53 am
Soulmate
Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find
Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
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@ 12:52 am
Okay. So I started off wid a song now. Angels brought me here by Guy Sebastian. Loved tat song. I heard it on radio last nite. It was nice. Awesome. The music. And the lyrics. Esp the lyrics. It’s really very meaningful.
To carry on, jus wanna say tat on wed n thu, I took a lift from Ho Yun’s mum’s car. And I shall tell u the story on wed. happened to meet him when I was going to refill my bottle before the maths paper started. I was telling him abt his colour awards and chatted for a while..toking abt geog paper the nxt day. Then, he suddenly say tat his mum wld fetch him later on aft the maths paper. Being one who stays so far frm sch and knowing tat his condo is jus a few condos away, I looked at him shyly. Haha. He got my hint! Yes! So I got a lift frm him aft the maths paper =)
So I met him aft the paper at the foyer. I tot I was late but his mum’s car jus came. N there were quite a no of ppl walking out by the main gate too. Then, when the car stopped, he walked in front of me and opened the door for me! I was shocked!! In front of SO many ppl too! I felt so honoured and dare not look up at those arnd me cos I think I can feel their stares. Then, when I entered butt in first, I was expecting him in his seat in front of me. but no, he wasn’t! he was still outside, waiting for me to close the door after me! wow!! I was double-stunned and shocked. N jus hurriedly say thank you.
U can imagine how shocked I was la. I’ve never had this kinda treatment for a LONG time...the last time was also from him, when I was sec 2. yea. I know him since I was sec 2. And he’s the ONLY guy tat does tat to me!! He’s ALWAYS such a gentleman. Never fails to be one. Haha. Was telling my family all abt it la. N was lyk in this dreamy world thereafter. Even tho I’d geog paper the nxt day. Haha. I was wondering if things can be changed..frm the last time..but was reminding myself today, jus as wad I’d written in my diary, NEVER to lose sight of the most impt criteria in looking at a guy—spiritual maturity. yea. Jus pray tat I’ll stand strong and be firm abt this decision even as time flies by and I meet all sorts of wonderful guys…
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@ 12:48 am
Angels Brought Me Here
It’s been a long and winding journey,
But I’m finally here tonight picking up the pieces and walking back into the light
Into the sunset of your glory where my heart and future lies
There’s nothing like that feeling when I look into your eyes
My dreams came true when I found you; I found you, my miracle
If you could see what I see
That you’re the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear, that angels brought me here
Standing here before you
Feels like I’ve been born again
Every breath is your LOVE
Every heartbeat speaks your name
My dreams came true right here in front of you my miracle
If you could see what I see
You’re the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear, that angels brought me here
Brought me here, to be with you
I'll be forever grateful, oohh forever thankful
My dreams came true when I found you my miracle
If you could see what I see
You’re the answer to my prayers, oh...
And if u could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear that angels brought me here
You know i love you baby
And if you could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear, that angels brought me here
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Monday, September 10, 2007 @ 8:08 pm
WOW! so i went to The Manhattan Fish Market for lunch today! haha. at first he din wanna tell me. but on the way up to go yamaha first, i saw the restaurant. then, it struck me tat it cld be that place! viola! it was! nice! neat! my first time there. there was a set lunch. wanted to try fish n chips but decided to go for fried dory wid rice and fries and fried squids. plus drink and soup. n i asked for iced peach tea widout ice. haha. it sounded funny but i was so cold there n then tat i din want some more ice to lower my body temperature further!
so the total bill was $40.80. haha. khalis was nice. jus asked me to pay $15. come to think of it, he really paid alot of the bill. oops. i'll treat u something nxt time k? can't be u keep paying for my meals and treating me although u are earning a commando's pay! haha. well, be glad u are one of the 50 tat made it to SCDF k? hang in there!
so well. to end it off, i had a HARD time finishing off the food. i was practically stuffing myself wid wad's left on my plate. i dunno why, perhaps it was the cold tat made it so hard for me to eat the food fast and finish most of it. so i left alot of squid and some rice. i finish the fries! and the fried dory fish, well, i only left the fried batter. haha. if u know me, i wld definitely NOT touch them. they are fried! wid so much oil! eww... so i stuffed myself and i felt SO bloated! my stomach was going to burst. and jus now, towards dinner time, cld feel the food still in my stomach. boy! i guessed i eat over my limit. almost felt lyk puking too. oops. so lesson learnt: dun stuff and gorge yourself wid food!!
but on the whole, it was a gd dining experience. a good first time there. except, i must bring my jacket nxt time!!! and musn't be feeling cold when i have a meal like this! =)
khalis was bored so he sent me all the way to sch! well, at least to potong pasir stn. it was nice. haha. after he emerged frm the stn, he headed off to the mosque nearby and then went off to queensway. i wonder if he did any shopping. over at dhoby ghaut stn, i met yi chen at 130pm. boy! her paper starts at 2pm! well, she can make it at 2pm. but the fact is tat she has to get ready at 145pm. tat's the thing most of us tends to forget. well, so at least i reminded her that. n she was telling me she was struggling to finish the last chap of bio. boy...muz be hard on the bio students. bio students, jia you k? no matter how hard! okay. hope she makes it in time.
n yes. i did make it in time for my consultations after pushing back the timings several times. sorry mr tan! haha. cos i took so long to eat my lunch...1 hr...jus wanted to enjoy my meal. it's been a long time since i can enjoy a meal! everyday is rushing. every lunch in sch cos break's always half-hour n also dun wanna make yong hui wait so long n also rush up to the lib and study!!
anyway, something nice happen today during my consultations. hope. a 4-letter word: hope. it's really magical. both mr tan and ms tan gave me hope. i cld see tat they have confidence tat i will do well in maths and chem and tat gave me hope too. they din praise me. their underlying msg is well done and your progress is going good/fine. tat gave me hope tat i can do it. can score an A. not too sure if can score an A for prelims cos i'll never know how's the standard like, but i know i have the potential and confidence tat i can get an A for A levels. well, if at the end of the day, i really din score it, pls dun taunt me. but i jus wanna say tat i have the confidence! n lyk wad most ppl say: not giving up is half a battle won? well, having the right attitude too! =) well, it reminds me of my E & A maths last time when i was sec 4. had the same confidence. n i did get an A1 for both subjects. i hope i'll carry this same spirit forward too. but also knowing tat wadever happens, God's in control and i shld accept the result graciously. now, jus gotta settle my phys! n geog. not forgetting my h3 :) Lord, thank you for this hope u gave me today :)
finally, jus got a new definition for hope: hope is the confidence tat the eventual outcome will be good. but bear in mind tat good does not equals to wad u wish for. sometimes, wad we wish for isn't good although it may seems lyk so. after all, we are humans. only God has the power and the knowledge to know wad is good. so trust Him! even if circumstance doesn't seem hopeful now. i guess tat's why ppl say God is our Hope! Amen!
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@ 8:17 am
okay. so i studied alone outside. finally get to go outside for a breather. and it's definitely much better than studying at home since i know I'm starting to lose concentration at home already. it's good. at first, my family and i went to have lunch at macs at bukit panjang. then, i had plans to study there. over there, i met yann ming!! haven't toked to him for a long time. so he came over and greeted me and we chatted for a while. he was studying there wid his frens. when he left, i asked my mum if he's handsome. n hi-5! she thinks so too! haha. i've always tot so. since sec sch and yw and sh always tease me and say i got bad taste. haha. no no...my mum also thinks he's handsome. haha. yea. got company (: lol.
anyway, i studied there for not more than half-hour, i got chased out! yea. chased out! grr. the manager chased all the studying students out. it was my first time la. i was lyk..wad the...now i nid to go n buy another drink. tats my first tot. so i jus sat there and stoned to think of my nxt venue. called mum. got a lift to go catch a bus to west mall to study there. so i studied at BK. not bad. at least they dun chase ppl out. but there are ALOT of ppl there studying! i was shocked! haha. but i sat at the wrong corner. frm where i sit, i cld hear 2 music stations. one frm inside BK, another frm outside. so for a moment, i was lost and confused. dunno which one to listen n it can give quite a bit of headache. but after a while, i decided to listen to the one inside and tat was much better on my ears and head. so did quite a bit of work and got quite fed-up wid probability cos i dun understand why my answer is wrong. so i'm goin to see teacher later!
n surprisingly, i can still see ms tan at 2pm later when i sms her at nite. i tot her schedule wld be packed n i wld have no chance. but still, i decided to give it a shot. this goes to show one point: everything is worth a try. but, of course, it means everything safe/not harmful, muz go thru yr brain if it's the right thing to do. of course, this can't be applied to drugs rite? n also, dun assume things! =)
WELCOME BACK KHALIS! frm brunei! and obs! i wonder where he's goin to take me to for lunch later at PS. he say it'll be a restaurant and when i guessed secret recipe, gelare, cafe cartel, they were all wrong. so i wonder wad other restaurants are there left. haha. not eating so much breakfast now to save some space for later. haha. well, looking fwd to hearing your stories and hopefully seeing some pictures!
last nite, i was lookin thru my cupboard and saw a handphone strap. un-used. jus the strap wid a hook at the end. then, it gave me an idea to attach the cross pendant to the strap and put it on my hp. n tat's jus wad i did! it looks nice! n i hope it's a good reminder of my christian faith! actually, it goes lyk this: the chain of the necklace tat clovis gave broke suddenly a few weeks back. i was shock but there's nth to do abt it. i jus took out the pendant and kept it while i had to throw away the chain. so tat's how i got the pendant! quite a fair bit of memory flooded back when i look at the pendant. haha. sigh. those were the days man.... :P
on a separate note, i was toking to God at nite and thinking. i believe there's nth wrong wid relationships. i dun think God ever wants to see us condemn relationships for he has made us to enjoy it..u know, adam n eve. yet, it also doesn't mean everyone muz have a partner. okay. tat's besides the point i wanna make. the point here is the "when" and the "who". i believe we shld go into rs in His time and be careful and exercise good judgement on who we are entering a rs wid. so i guess it's wrong to have tat mindset to warn the person against going out wid another on a date. for God doesn't want us to be anti-social. i guess, all i can warn/advise is for tat person to guard his/her heart and be careful not to lead the person on if u really dun mean it. yeah.
on a final note, sigh. i can't slp last nite. went to bed slightly b4 12midnight but i tossed and turned till close to 1am. i jus can't slp. n tat's bad. cos i nid to quickly get into the mood of slping early at nite for my prelims! i guess 2 scenerios were on my mind...
1. i was reading a narrative. setting is slightly b4 the WW2 ended. n the narrator was a German! now, tat was something different. n she was helping to hide this russian in a secluded place; away from the villagers. so i wondered.. is tat the right thing to do? wld i do it if i were her? it's super risky to do so. wld i risk it?
2. was watching a show last nite. 2 ppl: one gynaecologist n nurse. the patient is a regular patient of the gynae n she had been in debts. so she decided to carry the last packet of drugs to pay off her debts so she can start anew wid her baby. but she din finish the job and she had to be rushed to the hospital for delivery. there, while changing the clothes, the nurse saw the packet of drugs. n after delivery, both the doctor n the nurse pretended they din see anything while the mother wash the drugs away in the toilet bowl. both did so cos they can really see tat the mother is repentent n wants to start afresh wid the kid. the policemen were outside waiting and when they went into the room to check, they found nth n so the lady got away. but wad's the right thing to do again? shld a doctor merely be a doctor and not a judge? shld the doctor cover up for the mother? while i'm positively sure tat the mother will repent and not go back to old ways, are we suppose to be citizens n leave the decision of whether the mother shld be jailed or not to the judge? n think of the implications to the child. he wld have no one to properly guide and teach the child. wld it then, be a vicious cycle where the child gets into trouble jus lyk the mum?
i wonder...n i guess it's these qns tat kept me awake. ethics. compassion. judgement. i wonder wad's the right thing to do.....
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Saturday, September 08, 2007 @ 4:13 pm
okay. my 171st post. jus realised tat my 170th post is on 7 sept 07. wid all the 7s there. quite cool :) well. i haven't been feeling good these days :( keep having flu. every alternate day. i dunno why. immune system is pretty weak. n at the wrong time!! argh! muz get well soon gal!
met ji chen in tuition class. he's a nice guy. can clique well. n he still has tat accent when he speaks english. haha. wanted david and him to sit beside me and hui ming during tuition ytday. but there was this gal tat sat in my row. i was lyk...wad the...why do u sit on that row since u know it's hui ming and my fav row?? grr. i tried to find another row tat's entirely empty and there's enough lighting, but there isn't. so i jus sat there in tat same old row, knowing v well tat there's only space only for me and hui ming. so when hui ming entered, she was a bit surprised at why tat "stranger" sat beside me. cos she knows tat i also want the jjc boys to sit beside me. sigh. oh well. in the end, they sat in the row in front of us and we managed to tok towards the end. n glad i cld teach them one of the qns towards the end of the lesson too (: and we all walked towards mrt tgt. showed them the new way to go to mrt. hui ming was toking to ji chen all along the way so din manage to get a chance to tok to him face-to-face. well, at least i got a chance to tok to tat tall david! haha. both of them are tall anyway. both in bb and both 1.80m plus. haha. after seeing ashiq for so long, their height is still okay to me. jus feels a bit short when i stand so close beside them. well, david keeps giving me tat cute yet mature face. haha. hey man. better get disciplined and focus on studying k? btw, david was my pri sch fren. in my pri 6 class somemore! perphas, tat's why i can tok quite easily to him too. nothing to be v cautious abt. oh well. if things go okay and hui ming gets used to the jjc boys soon, i was hoping for a dinner together one day after tuition! bring them to the famous and nice claypot chicken stall at clementi! jus nearby! yay. feel so excited toking abt it (: hopefully, it wun crash wid my cell and it'll be after prelims. not too near A's else we'll all be slightly unwilling. and perhaps, after A's too!! =)
yesterday, at cell, deb brought her fren Alice! it's nice to have her company. frm msia. jus came down. n surprisingly, my age! jeremy's and le jing's age too! =) i'm glad she can get used to us and can understand during our bible study at cell. we all went out for supper for prata too. as a celebration for nic's last cell grp mtg wid us b4 he entered ns. yea. it was nice. and the youths eat so much la. we all ordered drink and prata but the adults ordered drink only. and uncle clarence treated. one day man. one day, muz return this favour/blessing to them. well, alice is attendin wesley methodist chr, i think. wid her uncle. well, at least she's attending a chr. but she's more than welcome to join us. it was a bit hard to keep the convo goin. i also dunno why. dunno wad's wrong wid me these days. a bit hard to keep convos going when toking/making new frens. sigh. perhaps i'm losing tat outgoing personality? or maybe cos i was disturbed tat day; at tat time when i entered cell; entered the hse. thank God for letting Jeremy teach me, over dinner, wad it means to let go and how we shldn't let things tat happen arnd us affect us. shld jus hand it all to God. he reminded me of the song "God will make a way" and ask me to look intently at the lyrics..yeah...all to God. not easy but all to Him. shldn't let it be affected.
cell was good. on worry and...masters. yeah. worry was the one tat left a big impression in us cos it's the last topic we covered. and we had a long discussion on masters and pursue and desire for money. yeah. well, all up there in head. dun wanna spill it out lest i forget once i let it out. okay. so tat's abt it. thank God for nicholas! for leading us in many cell grp bible study! thank God for his creative ways and letting us be able to comprehend the message easily. and at least, he finally got a chance to use the application bible tat deb's mum gave! (:
thank God for bringing sarah home safely. though wid a missing socks. haha. miss you gal!
i know this is a long post and each para is really long. but i really dunno where to cut in each para so tat one para will look smaller. haha. oops. sorry. thanks for sticking arnd. btw, KHALIS WILL BE BACK TOMORROW!!!! YES!! =))))
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Friday, September 07, 2007 @ 3:57 pm
Hello. below are pictures tat are taken during the BBQ on wed, 5th sept. thanks le jing and jeremy for organising this! and thanks for the great turn up, Overcomers! hope u all had fun! =) and the photos are edited cos i din wanna use flash to take the pictures. so had to brighten them up on my own. pardon me if the edit isn't v good either..haha..
Jeremy, le jing and myself. the first photo we took when jeremy's back in singapore!
Bernice and Le Jing
Let's BBQ!
And BBQ again..sorry jeremy..your face is a bit distorted...
Lydia and Jun May sharing a sausage. haha..
Finally.....SMILE peeps! =))
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Tuesday, September 04, 2007 @ 8:06 pm
reading the last post tat can be seen from my blog. at the last para: "one thing that struck me is tat the phone n my possessions are His n if it's taken away, i should not be too worried n should jus trust God". this was indeed a reminder to me now, again. sigh. feeling pretty down now. jus suddenly. miss the times and the feelings when there is someone to look forward to every nite after dinner; after a TV show. argh. i miss it! but that last sentence...yar...everything i have is His. anything tat He has blessed me wid. He can also take away and He has the right to anyway. but one thing i can be assured of, He never does anything carelessly or for fun. rather, he has everything planned out so tat things will work out for the good and for His glory. well, Job did say this: "The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." Job 1:20b. sigh. it's not easy to have this attitude like Job but it's not impossible. God's Word is our guide and tat includes this verse! Stand strong, Sharon!
on a separate note, i hope they aren't going thru a rough patch. i hope not. though i discovered something today but i dun wish to read into things too much. i dare not ask her. can only jus pray...
on another issue again, i wish sometimes tat i can turn things back. undo things tat has been done. i wish i can be a better sister. be a better example. do the right things. don't make wrong choices so tat i wun become a stumbling block. sigh. i wish...sometimes i really wish. n when these tots come in, i can only shake my head n say sorry to God. sigh. oh well. maybe cos i'm thinking of these things so i'm feeling down now. well, i know wad u all will say...dun look back at the past, move on ahead, dun repeat the mistakes, u can do it..blah blah blah. but sometimes, i jus wanna tok it out and dun wanna hear suggestions, as yet. reminds me of wad ppl always say abt most gals: most gals jus want the guys to listen n not wanting suggestions...familiar?
okay! today almost fell v sick...almost caught a fever since i got a flu the entire day ytday. thank God for keeping me safe thus far while i study. thank God for the short rest i'd before lunch. hope i wun get a fever or a sore throat tml and thereafter. cos i really wanna go for the BBQ tml and i nid to go for consultation on thu n my PRELIMS! are still going on nxt week plus!! musn't fall sick, gal! =)
hmm. everytime i think of that issue, i can't help feelin scared. i dunno how things will turn out on tat day. i wonder how to face the situation. n i hope my attitude will be acceptable. now, trying not to think now. cos everytime i think of it, i tend to argue in my head. tend to take revenge. play wid words. be sarcastic. n tat's certainly not good. i really wonder how to face it man. getting scared now. sigh. i think i nid a breather now. okay. shall not type anymore. shall tok now..talk to God!
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Monday, September 03, 2007 @ 1:19 am
okay. so bloggin so late at nite. haha. was ranking my topics of the subjects. hopefully it'll aid in my learning and how i'll be revising frm after prelims to A's. at least i've a clearer picture of my weak areas and my better ones. and i know wad i'll be doing frm the time btw prelims and A's! prac topical n more tys qns. so as to train myself for the A lvl std and really go in-depth into each topic and get it really well done! can't keep skimming thru and pretend and assume tat i know the topics. must go for depth not width now (for each particular subj).
ON-RIGHT! I'M DONE WID GRAPH THEORY! or at least reading thru the notes and the tb. it's great! fun! awesome! amazing! n it is definitely one field in maths tat's new and quite untouched! so if u want your name to be famous, go into graph theory and come up wid a theorem! then, yr name will be legandary. seriously. well, graphs are also made up of vertices and edges. and there are so many properities and so many types. something different from the normal maths. well, but i've yet to clear my final doubts. and i rushed today, forsaking the h2, to finish off 2 topics so tat i can meet ms tay tml. but she can't make it. neither can mr koo. n i've to wait till thu. boo. haha. oh well. at least one/half a load is off my mind =) thank God for giving me this opportunity to learn graph theory. i hope i din make a mistake and wun make a mistake in choosing this topic over geometry for a levels.
Okay. was looking at the exam timetable for A levels. pretty scary and not tt nice-looking. there are quite a number of consecutive days/papers. then, i was abt to get worried but 2 thoughts came to my mind: 1. God is wid you. he will see you through. dun nid to worry 2. as long as you prepare and are prepared, you can do it! even though there are consecutive papers =) yea. tat was comforting. so i wanna put in my best for preparation and to do it well! yea man! it's around 57 days left to my 1st paper! tat's 3 days less from 2 months! to put it more urgently, it's 1month plus. haha. ok ok. a matter of perspective yea? i'll try to be optimistic!
was toking to charles jus now. glad he sms at the right time and went on msn at the right time. thanks for taking time off to tok to me! had a great discussion and sharing. was nice toking abt many stuffs...spiritual etc. and he looked at my nick and asked me my definition of hope. so this is wad i gave: hope is having the spark in life tat brings a smile on one's face cos of the knowledge tat one has---that God is God and everything He says He is. so one can claim on these promises and smile in all circumstances. also bearing in mind tat our final destination is heaven n God will make sure we get there! Amen! yea. he's goin to scouts commander. when i asked Khalis, he said it's one of the cheong-est ones. well, muz take care of yourself there k? i expect POW training. i dunno if u might have heard it. but do be careful. thanks for your sharing jus now n i'm glad u're willing to pick yourself up again. dun lose sight of the central focus of our hearts! =) smiles always and no matter wad, i'm here. there's this thing in me. somehow, i wld be there for my frens despite wadever circumstance i may be in. tat incl my A's (:
so khalis went for his brunei trip. obs and obbd. yea. 9 days. over my sept hols. boo. haha. but i'll be fine. and i hope he'll be safe! actually, he wun see this para until he has returned. haha. but still wanna tok abt it here. haha. oh well. lookin forward to your coming back on sun! and your stories!
okay. well, wanted to respond to something. but after much thinking thru and talking to charles, i think i wun. after all, i kinda know the answers to my qn. though it's the answer i wished it'll never be; though it's an answer tat is different frm my thinking and my stand, but still, i guess i gotta accept it. n so i wun ask. wun respond. and lyk wad charles' advice jus now: do the thing where u feel God's peace is in. haha. we were joking tat it's his famous phrase/advice now. but it's true. very real too. n i know He wun want me to start a quarrel. yups. oh ya. congrats man on being cgl assistant! i'm sure u'll make a good assistant despite your situation of NS!
Ps 31:24 Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord
Sharon
23
1 May 1989...Labour Day!
Abundant Life Baptist Church
Pei Hwa Presbyterian Pri Sch (PHPPS),
Clementi Town Sec Sch (CTSS),
St Andrews Junior College (SAJC),
Nanyang Technological University (NTU)
Loves: God
Bible
Family (dad, mum, reuben, sarah, po-po)
Friends
Band: Hillsong, Don Moen, Corrine May
Food: jus can't take spice, crab n prawns :(
Music: Christian n comtemporary/love songs
Movies: Cinderella Story, Matrix, I Robot, Lord of the Rings, Princess Dairy Series, The Island, Gattaca, Crash, Stardust...
wow..look at the bright light frm up there..haha. but main emphasis is the pointing to each other..
Jeremy, le jing and myself. the first photo we took when jeremy's back in singapore!
