read the newspaper recently? there was a report in the big jump of people applying for scholarships. when i saw it i was like "good" cos it's different frm the report given last year. but when i stare a bit harder, i was "oh craps!" there goes my chances of getting one. i mean, i'm not exactly giving up but the chances are very very slim. esp with my grades, wad can i say man? i was only just trying with a tinge of hope. and the article was also attributing this rise to better grades of students and better publicity of the scholarship providers. oh well. we'll see how it goes. i jus got a rejection letter frm one of the providers. oh well. if things really don't turn out, it's financial aid!

was reading Mind Your Body jus now on an article on formula milk and a certain type of pregnancy abnormality. somehow, i always take an interest in motherhood and these stuffs. and reading abt that kind of pregnancy really jus makes me sad. sad that this can happen. it's abt how there was obstruction in the fallopian tube and so the egg gets implanted along the tube. if not detected early, the tube cannot contain the growing fetus and will burst. hence leading to pain and severe internal bleeding. this occurs 1 in every 300 pregnancies. high? i dunno. but to me, it is.

it's so sad to see this happening to some women. it seems so real. obstruction, improper implantation. it's so possible that it can happen to anyone. and i really hope it wun happen to me if i ever do get pregnant. there are so many things that can happen! genetic default, chromosomes problems (which i feel that i cannot control), implantation, miscarriages, cervix cancer, not good splitting of cells, deformation of organs...it's so scary. yet, i thank God that I'm born without any physical defects. whenever i told my mum wad i'd read, she will be lyk "har..i din noe that". it's so risky being pregnant. you don't know how your fetus will turn out. and now, i'm beginning to wonder if it's good to educate the public abt such situation. or does it have an adverse effect of making a just-pregnant mother or even young women become paranoid?