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Friday, October 24, 2008 @ 10:39 pm [recount-thanks]
today, I had softball training. More people came. And it was the last training. Well, indeed, I shouldn't have worried or think too much abt nxt friday. I just felt the Holy Spirit telling me that I should just leave nxt fri to God (the clash btw cell grp and softball training). And indeed, God took care of the arrangements. I wun be late for cell nxt week! =) but through this, i did learn a lesson and to set my priorities right. so softball today wasn't too bad. at least now, i'm not feeling scared of going for training. glad there was Boo (or so i heard his name being called like that) who was there to guide me through. He was very steady and guided me really well when i was stressed up and thinking alot during the game. and he also showed concern for me when i accidentally caught the ball with my bare hands. ha. well, thanks lots senior! And thanks to Brandon too! my 2nd time playing with him and he guiding me. he was a great guide too :) but yar, i also got a bit of scolding from yi da :( will improve! well, thank God my family arrived safely in Malacca =) yay. can put my worries down already. so i hope they will have a gd time there and a gd time bonding with ah-yi they all. well, and yes, that means i'm home alone here in Singapore and literally in my hse. a pity khalis is on night duties these 2 nights else can go out for rides (if i study hard enough during the day). nonetheless, we're going to have a night-out to celebrate yr bday on monday! =)) hope i'll be able to study much during this weekend especially since i didn't go for this hol partly cos of studies! [reflections] okay. to talk more abt reflections, this quote came to my mind: God's Will will never be thwart by man's plans and desires. So I shouldn't worry nor think too much nor pray babbling words and repeating them. instead, i should trust God more and depend more on Him. Matthew 6:7 and Romans 8:28-29 came to my mind while writing this down in my diary. So trust God girl! interestingly, the QT talks abt rebilion and sin against God. it also challenges me to find out how I have rebelled against God this week. after reflecting, my answer was my failure to trust and depend on Him fully. So here and now, i would like to lay these issues to God once again: 1. new roomate 2. driving test 3. life partner and one more issue which i'm not comfortable to share here. So with these 4 issues, i wanna give it God! [recount with thanks again] well, to recount a bit, thank God the 10-man project is over. it was a good one where there were little quarrels and there was not a bad cohesiveness. almost everyone worked well with each other and i didn't affect negatively any relationship with the 9 of them. i was surrpised to receive some of my grp members' words of thanks and appreciated which was mass-sent to the grp. i was quite embarrassed though but they were all good encouragements. it goes to tell me further just how great and wonderful they all are! really appreciate their appreciation and hard work and effort they put in to the project! Initially, i didn't want to be the leader cos i just joined the clique whereas everybody knows everybody since they were in the same FOC group. But i was still made the leader after i facilitated the first mtg (purely with the motive of getting it started). so, i took it on and really prayed hard. prayed that things will turn out good and fine especially relationships with people. thank God for Wanting too! she helped me alot by settling some relational probs and being the one i can discuss my plans, agenda and ideas with. she's always supportive and chip in much on how i can lead the grp. wanna thank the rest of the grp too! for their effort put in to this project. for their opinions raised and perseverance through all the mtgs (which were 1-hour long for all except one). and wanna thank the 2 intl grp mates that i have. they are really great and really did their part well. their english was not bad and they can manage a write up (of a few paragraphs) on their own! bravos! i think they deserve more praise! and thanks to yi chen and hong yi for doing up the intro and conclusion so well. english so powerful! thanks to hong yi for his optimism! really an encouragement! =)) okay. i dunno why. at first i have lots to say but i dunno why my mind went blank. i think i'm tired already. dunno why. i had about 9 hrs of slp last night! (the longest thus far) but still tired. ha. i wonder why i woke up so late also lor.10am. guess it's the bed. it's nice to slp on my own bed last night! but i hope i will be able to wake up in time for chr svc on sunday! :S i guess, jus a last add-in, it's pretty amazing how God works and speaks to me! =)) cheers! and keep listening out to God's voice (booming loud or still soft), friends! --------------------------------- Thursday, October 23, 2008 @ 3:50 am [end-of-day]
mugging. just finish studying for phys test. well, it's actually 5 MCQs. but the motivation that kept me up all the way till now is the exams. i just felt i wanna do this good and get it over and done with. yar. so did up my notes and quite a comprehensive one. the only sad thing is that i dun get to read my txtbook before doing the notes. thankfully this lecturer is not too bad. her notes are good. comprehensive. understandable. so i can write my notes. well, i wld like to blog this thing down actually: what may seem to be God's Will may actually not be so. So when faced with this situation, let go and let God lead. And we'll never know what miracle God has in stored and what His Will is. After all, we are only human and He's God. His ways are incomprehensible. So let go. Mm. Tat's what I learned today and in a recent issue. Well, it's really abt letting go and not acting smart. Put yourSELF down and lift God up, girl! my roomie left already. so sad. i almost cried lah. i felt so sad that she has to leave. walked her and sent her off to the mrt stn. well, she's a very nice girl. created alot of memorable and unforgettable memories with her. will never forget that. she's very helpful, kind, cheerful and a good listener. helps each other out too. it was nice to have her arnd. really God's will and a blessing to cross her path. will miss her and hope to keep in touch with her. so who's my new roomie? when will she come? no idea. hope and pray that it'll be a good-influenced roomie! on the last note, my leading of follow-up is coming to a close soon. today, i did my 2nd last lesson. just as i was telling mum, i can't express just how blessed and how much i enjoyed follow-up. i learned alot. i learn alot about God's Word and about leading a follow-up. indeed, initially, i was a step of faith. as i progressed, i gain more confidence but it doesn't stop the challenges from coming. well, besides challenges, it was fun leading as i think of creative ways to teach the lesson and review memory verses. Well, here and now, i wanna thank 2 people. first, thank God for helping me through this follow-up. Thank God for prompting me to ask sh abt this. Thank God for her enthusiasm. Thank God for the material. Thank God for giving me wisdom and guidance. Thank God for giving me this chance. Thank God for such freedom in this country. Thank God for giving us time and chances to meet up and teach. second, wanna thank Shu Hui herself. Thanks for your enthusiasm. For taking time off to meet me up for this follow-up despite her busy schedule. Thank her for her honest and open sharing. Thank her for her encouragements which keep me going. Thank her for her qns too though some of them I can't answer. Thank her for her response to my qns and prompting. Mm. THANK YOU! I love you Lord! --------------------------------- Monday, October 20, 2008 @ 12:28 am wow. great. so i just attempted writing on khalis' blog an entry as requested by him. haha. you can go check it out. it's not tat easy. esp dealing with colours. and initially i wonder what to write. had to wait a few days before inspiration comes. din write many personal msg to him cos i dun feel comfortable doing it on his blog. but only on mine. so here n now, i hope *you* are feeling better now. i think u'll read this when you are back in singapore. i hope you had a good break and getaway. and i hope you had a good time of reflection. i just want to leave 2 quotes, that i chance upon, here on my blog:
1. we don't learn from our experiences but from reflecting on our experiences
well, i won't exactly say I agree entirely but they are food for thought. so leaving you guys with these quotes in mind! have a great week ahead. i had better go slp. nitez! a verse to keep in mind:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight"
may I keep this verse in mind and depend on You! --------------------------------- Sunday, October 19, 2008 @ 1:21 am [miss day]
today, I suddenly have this "missing people" syndrome. I miss Khalis especially so when he's in msia. I miss my family more. I miss mum, dad, sis, bro and po-po. I miss zhen guang. I miss Eleena... I miss Khalis alot today. I guess it's prob I went to our fav pool place today. Brought Yu Xin to the pool at JEC and had a game with him. Then, it jus reminded me so much of Khalis. I rmb we always go there to play pool and how he loves to play pool and the look of him when he does. Ha. It jus brought back all the pool memories i have with him--the short 1-game at vivo, the sit-down-watch-you-play times, the games we had together...i miss those times, i miss him. Then, later on in the night, I was drinking hot milo and *boom* it reminded me of Khalis again. Ha. Cos he loves to drink hot milo too! Just like me when I have supper at night. Oh well. It's sad I can't tell him now but I hope he sees this when he comes back! Come back soon yea? Miss chatting with you! And I miss riding on his bike! somehow. random. Was telling yu xin while playing pool that I have a sudden urge to ride on the bike...bleah. I miss my family. After staying in hall for a week, i really do miss them. I miss talking to them, chatting with them, laming arnd with my siblings, joking, spending time with them...I really hope that hall doesn't affect my relationship with my family negatively but rather bring it up. actually, i did see the good side of it like i realised i can share more openly with mum over the phone and i can talk better with boy on the phone too. though for sarah, it's talking to her face-to-face that still works. well, i really do hope things will work out for the good.. but it's quite a pity that every sat afternoon i always go out and study. i dunno if i shld change this style. staying at home is having my presence there though i'm busy and also feeling them arnd. i wonder. but one thing tat's keeping me away frm the hse is cos of the distractions--tv, com, siblings relaxation since their exams are over. and the pull factors to go out and study is cos i wun fall aslp that often outside and since i'm already out (for tutn and band prac), i might as well spend 3 hrs studying outside. hmm. suddenly i miss eleena. was spending time praying for her today. i miss her chats, her smile, her presence in chr, a looking fwd to catching up with her every sunday. oh well. but i know she's there training up and being taken care of by Father. so i know she's safe. besides, there's always email to keep in touch with! jus need more discipline to reply her and i wonder if she'll have the time to reply me too. i suddenly miss zhen guang too cos yu xin was mentioning going to bukit timah to play pool. and who lives in that area? zg! it reminded me of the social nite with him and the drinking session with him and jason. so technically, i also miss jason. well, those 2 times were well-spent. i miss those times, his company and his time with me. his chats too. oh well. and for place, i will miss jec! know why? COS THEY ARE GOING TO CLOSE THAT PLACE FOR RENOVATION FOR ONE YEAR!!! One year leh...tat's very long! I will certainly miss that place lah! totally! it has been my fav hang-out place since young! chr used to be there so most of the time my family goes there for lunch. and je is the place where is the central mtg place. so near mrt and the in between my red-line Bukit Batok stn and the green-line stns. it's big. it's spacious. it holds alot of memories. the dinosaurs, the macs, the kfc, the cinema, the this fashion, the pool (OH NO! the POOL!!! KHALIS! LET'S PLAY POOL THERE AGAIN N TAKE A PHOTO THERE!), the ice skating ring (where it's the first time i ice-skate recently--only this year!), the archade, the lan, the kopitiam upstairs, the place where i have my lunch when i study for A's at the JE Lib, delifrance, LJS...man...i'll totally MISS tat place! why muz they close the whole thing? why can't jus renevote bit by bit, part by part? besides, there has already been alot of changes--the kopitiam, the cinema...sigh. sad man... =( I'll miss Jurong East Entertainment Center. So guys, do rmb to go down by 31 oct k? for the last time. 31oct will be the last day of operation! okay. today sounds super emo. ha. but i'd a good day too! [recount] gave tuition. told leo's dad my plans to stop teaching. managed to manage time better. went for lunch with sh where i had to bear the spiciness of the korean food. had a good follow-up on holy spirit. though good, but i felt bad. i shld have prepared better, be more diligent in doing all the qns so i can plan out the lesson--like what to go thru and what to leave as hw. then, we cld have a more productive time and go thru the other qns. but anyway, the qns that we went thru were good. a gd exposure for she and i. i din noe there was so many verses that talks abt the HS. i was quite happy, in fact. so nxt time i know where to refer and see and get the verses! =) and i'm glad i managed to do a matching game memory verse for sh as revision. guess she never had time to rmb them so decided to do it. she was quite fascinated and it was an encouragement to me. the GREATEST encouragement i get frm her today was her sharing on her struggles. and it makes me appreciate more how she takes time out to do follow-up, her passion n enthusiasim for this bible study. will be praying for you, sister! after that, we parted and i studied in je lib for 3hrs plus. and i spent 3 hrs on a maths tut!!! was quite disappointed in myself. but i comforted myself saying that jc is different from uni. it's more in-depth, more tedious. so tat's why i spend more time. not cos i'm slow...so step on it Sharon! don't be dishearted! after that, rush thru my material science tut where my notes can't help much. not enough explanation and need my textbook. then, rush thru my phys tut too. anyway, skipped alot of qns cos i can't do. stared, questioned, look-see-refer, skip. that's it. can't get any values lah. can't proceed. don't know wad to apply. sigh. will i fail my phys? I hope not. man. i know i've not been good at phys all along. muz really buck up! muz master it girl! so met yu xin for dinner at the coffee shop. with his new haircut! which was nice! not bad. a change. the first impression i got: he looks like shi yuan. ha. the fringe. but the colour and the hair cut is nice. at least it's "less in volume" as quoted by him. neater. styled. dyed a light brown (in my opinion). i dunno leh. hope it can leave a gd impression on his interviewers. after that, brought him to pool, as mentioned earlier. played 2 games. then he taught me some skills. yay. thanks man. at least nxt time i wun be so blur when i play pool. thanks for the treat too! had a good game. after an hour, we headed off to take bus. after that, had a sudden urge to jus sit arnd and chat with him. so stopped at west mall there, got a seat at the kopi roti there, drink and chat. ha. and it was the first time i said the word "gao". one of the first few times i used hokkien to someone i dunno and order things. so weird. haha. and we were making a joke outta it too. lol. well, had a good chat with yu xin. laugh. catch up. chat. well, thanks for your sharing on the bus too! i hope you feel better talking it out and will be okay! stay strong man! I have faith in you! thanks for your company today too! it was great being able to spend time with you today! so came home. chat with mum. though i miss seeing dad the whole day. then, headed off to do the impt and urgent things i need to do. the report and form etc. and i owe khalis a post. i think inspiration is coming! hope can pin it down soon else he'll kill me when he comes back! ha. tml there's a mtg. hope my brain can work and come up with ideas and be a gd teammate! hope to know my 2 crusaders teammates better! =) --------------------------------- Tuesday, October 14, 2008 @ 9:46 pm [update]
Right. So i rode on a bike for the first time! not today. on 9 Oct, Thu. Khalis called and asked me out very simply. Asked me if i want to go for a ride and go to Labrador Park. And I immediately and quickly replied a "yes". Ha. It was super fast. Within half an hour, i was on his bike! initally, i was both excited and scared. i din noe wad to expect nor wad to do. my first time leh. scary. well, waited for some time b4 khalis came. "woo..red bike" that's wad i was thinking. thankfully, i brought along a jacket cos he doesn't have a windbreaker for the pilion. so he helped me put on the helmet and taught me how to wear it. then, i hop on to his bike and we were off! i had to practically stand on the footing b4 i can sit on his bike. at first, i held on to the sides of his jacket but he asked me to hold onto his shoulder :P okay lor. and i was quite scared when it started off. told him to ride slow slow... the nxt thought i have was that i'm so exposed! instead of having the vehicle surrounding me like in the car, i had nothing beside me except the wind. ha. well, it was really something. so we rode all the way to labrador then. he squeezed in between vehicles. that one was scary. once, i felt it was very near other vehicles that i lift up my leg. ha. well, one thing i learn TRUST. sitting behind, i really cannot see the road ahead of me unlike in a car. if i lean slightly to one side to look at the road, i actually shift the weight of the bike and it'll be hard on khalis. so i have to sit straight, sit forward and just trust khalis, the rider. so it's alot alot of trust. that's one thing i learn. it was great being in labrador park. it was good. i haven't been there for a long time and has always wanted to go there. just no transport to bring me there. now, i finally get to sit on a bike and can go the newly revenovated one! it's great! not much changes--just added a jetty and painted some pillars. glad there is still the open field and the playground. there were 4 wedding couples taking photos too! one of them even went into the sea. yucks. wet the gown quite badly. yee. well, quite sad the weather that day wasn't very good. the sunset wasn't very nice. but nonetheless, it was nice to see the smiling faces of the wedding couples, the radiant looks of the bride and the blessed look on the groom. i wonder when will be mine and where my fiance and i will take wedding photos! =)) well, took some photos with my good buddy, Khalis. below are some pics. hope he doesn't mind me putting some of his pics. the photography was nice *okay...show off i know. oops* had a good chat. a good catch up. a good sharing. and thanks for the ride there pal! I enjoyed just being near nature again and of course, having your company!
on the way back, khalis taught me how to sit and all so i tried that out. it was much better. i lean back more, dun grip him so hard, more relax and also my helmet hits his less often. yeah. i think sitting on bike shld be okay now. it's all abt trust. but that also tells me that i will only ride on those ppl whom i trust and not any-oh-how someone. mm. well, after that i was very late for bsf. sigh. miss the discussion again. i felt very bad and sad. sigh. twice in a row already. will do something abt it. on another note, exams is in 4 weeks time. so i guess i wun blog so much already. and gotta start studying! better not cramp things up. don't want to screw my first sem lest my mum will be quite upset with me. who knows wad she'll do man. mm. i had better find my motivation to study and be disciplined to study! changing topic, i know i made a stupid mistake today. thankfully, we both settled it fast and quick. quite unlike me. i guess it's a change. but i wonder how things will be like in the future. will it be the same or distant? i really hope it wun be the latter though thoughts are running wild now..reading in between the lines and reading the tone...i hope i wun read too much into things! meanwhile, take care all! --------------------------------- Thursday, October 09, 2008 @ 3:03 pm [feeling better, thanks]
yeah. feeling much better already. i think slp has gotten into me. well. at least i know i'm not alone in this. there's definitely God and i know one of my frens is experiencing the same thing and i know my trusted and close frens will be arnd (: well, now, just hope to keep the motivation going. last night, had a good and long chat with one of my frens too. it was great to be able to spend time and chat with him. both of us are busy (and i think he's more busy than i am). So i'm very glad when i cld go up, help him out in a bit of work and just talk about things--abt relationships, hall, our character build-up, religion... well, like wad i've always kept in mind--my pri love language is quality time and i really do treasure conversations and time i have with ppl and i'm glad to be able to have one good one last night after so many missing-outs. quite a pity tat we both can't go out and have fun that night cos i have a mtg that night and i think he wld be busy. quite coincidental tat both of us have the same thoughts. haha. another time, i'm sure. it was nice knowing him more (: thanks alot, man! and I'm sure i'll be able to open up to you soon enough and share wad i usually write on my blog. hee. thanks for listening too! it was an improvement! :P well, i'm looking forward to my date with my siblings this friday! movie cum dinner. ha. i never had such a combination b4. dinner-movie date. cos the dinner will always be rushed. but this friday, i'm sure we'll just eat at our own pace! =) and i'm looking fwd to Cher Lin's and Khalis' birthday! Somehow, i just want to make Khalis' bday big-shot this year. have alot of ideas running thru my mind. but i'm afraid if i do such a grand one, the expectation will be higher on his 21st bday. this year he's only 20. then i'm afraid i'll not be able to meet that expectation (self-imposed). well, i dunno. i guess the most common advice is: do the best and all you want and can this year. make use of the opportunity. cos you'll never know what wld happen along the year to the 21st bday. leave a lasting memory. mm. well, i just hope both of us will have a good time tgt! =) save some hours for me pal! well, my mouth hurts terribly today. the skin was super painful. too dry and the cuts are still everywhere. sad. i hope to recover fast. i really want them to go away so i can eat all types of food. now i have restrictions :( hopefully by this Friday! mm. well, just pray for God's healing hands to be upon me! looking fwd to BSF tonight! somehow. after missing the discussion last wk, just din feel good. so looking fwd to it! oh! nice meeting John today too! yay..he's in campus crusade! will see him more often nxt year onwards! =) --------------------------------- Wednesday, October 08, 2008 @ 4:52 pm [lost]
after all the laughters, teasings and lessons are over, it's back to hall again. And thinking back, i really start to feel down and confused. what am i here for? Why am i studying? or more like, sleeping in lectures =( I start to get confuse and question myself. i don't know. ever since uni started for 9 weeks now, i really have no mood to study. i have no discipline and no want to put in the effort to study. the only motivation that pushes me to study is when tests are coming. that's when i'll put in more effort to study. other than that, everytime night befalls, i just feel like slacking my way through with i-don't-know-what. i don't feel good. i definitely don't feel good. everyday i just put on a front and push myself to pay attention in lecture, do tutorial and handle the proj. but what is the end? wad do i learn? wad do i want? sometimes i feel bad. that i'm using my parents' money for nothing. 7K. it's not cheap. yet, here i am wasting my time away by not studying. sigh. i know. it's not good. but i really have no motivation nor inspiration nor drive. tell me, where can i get them from? wad do i really want if i don't continue my degree now? christian work? full time with an organisation? travel? catching up with frens? work in a company? sigh. study....i really need to put in more effort. just wish my heart is willing. sigh. or perhaps i'm just too tired now to think straight. not enough slp to think straight. sigh. hope i'll feel better after a short rest now. just a last add-in: thanks alot wan ting for your drink! really surprised and touched by it! helps alot though i was quite hesistant to drink it initially. I'm sure I'll recover faster! thanks for your concern girl! love ya! --------------------------------- Tuesday, October 07, 2008 @ 9:08 pm [recap]
okay. So here I am. finally free. actually I was free last night. But sleepliness and tiredness got into me. So I decided to turnin early after becoming a housewife--doing all the household chores like cleaning the floor, mopping the floor, changing bedsheets... but today, my mouth hurts badly. last night, i noticed there was more-than-usual bleeding. it got me quite worried. after that, i just felt pain in my mouth and alot of abrasions. i was afraid it wld be caused by bacteria on my teeth so i decided to go for a dental check-up today! Wan ting also came along with me. thanks for your company girl! And it cost ALOT also. $65?!?! So after that, i called my mum and told her about it. And i received a scolding from her. ha. an exclamation on why it cost so much and why i decided to go for a dental check-up impromptu. well, but it was a good check-up. the dentist was caring and nice. keep assuring me to relax and not be so tensed up. yeah. oh well. got my teeth polished too though not super shiny white. oh well. tat's about all for today. back track a little, on monday, I WORE A DRESS TO SCHOOL!! okay. it may sound like no big deal to some of you but it was a big deal to me! first time i wear a dress to lecture! it was scary too. when i enter the tut class and lecture venue, can feel ppl looking at me. and mind you, i'm in engine fac. so not many girls wear dresses wan. ha. so i'm one of the rare ones. so the reason behind me wearing a dress? Not that i'd a date but that my mum bought the dress for me and encouraged me to wear to lecture on monday. so just to make her happy lor. haha. below is a picture of how i look like!
well, i also went to school with a new haircut that day. so i was somewhat presenting a new image and style that monday! ha. some of my frens cannot recognise me till i greeted them. i think the hair was very different. short. change style. wan ting's first comment when she saw me "wah...so flowery". lol. anyway, wearing the dress really makes me happier and more confident =) thanks ppl for your compliments! esp mark and yu xin. haha. hope to buy more dresses to wear to school and wear dresses more often! :) wad else shall i mention after so long a break? During recess week, rather, during the weekends, i met up with Jie Ming. Yes. he's my 1e1/2e1 classmate! that one. somehow we were talking on msn then said we shld meet up over coffee and there we were! at coffee bean on sunday afternoon. i was craving for ice blended mocha anyway. and boy! it was a great meet-up! not only did i get to catch up with him, i was given a new perspective of him! jie ming has indeed changed alot! more gentlemanly. he doesn't mind paying for my coffee, he doesn't mind going arnd with me as i run my errands, companied me to the bus stop where i wait for my bus and even asked me to sms me once i've reached home safely. wow! it totally shocked me lah! but in a good way. i was very pleased, happy and pampered. haha. and another shocking thing is that i can't believe i sat down at the coffee bean for an hour plus talking! haha. so it was indeed a good chat and catch up esp over his studies and future. mm. looking fwd to seeing u in NBS, man! =) back-tracking a bit more, i met zhen guang and jason ng on Friday night at clarke quay! it was grrrreat meeting the 2 of them again esp jason ng. i've seen zhen guang recently at OCS social night. and he owed me one night-out of drinking with jason ng. so i arranged for that fri night. was glad we went clarke quay. haven't been there for a long time and i had a new insight! i din noe there were so many expats in Singapore! esp caucasions! they just crowd at the bridge and sit anywhere and everywhere. wow! we met for late dinner at 8pm. and zg chose Billy Bombers (wow!). ex. but ok lah. still can afford. after that, we walked arnd the main area. showed jason the place inside. after tat, we headed to brewerks for a drink. i know brewerks is a beer place but i'm not for beers. so i still took my dose of liquor! but the noob me had to ask the waiter to explain all the cocktails. ha. rmbing that i had gotten slpy the last time i took the wrong liquor, i chose something more familiar--vodka content inside. though it's very hard, i still can bear. and it's better than me getting into that kinda slpy state. not that the guys i'm with are not trust-worthy but that i definitely dun wanna be slpy and drowsy at clarke quay where there are alot of ppl. anyway, had a good drink and a good chat with the 2 of them. esp with jason whom much has happened. after everything, we were shocked to realise time passed fast and it was 11.30pm. so i told them i want to leave cos i dun wanna miss my last bus. as we were walking to Central, i noticed the 190 bus. i just let it past in front of my eyes cos i thought there will be another bus. BUT I WAS WRONG! there wasn't! tat was the last bus! i was shocked! there were many Night-rider bus arnd but i hesistated boarding one cos none of the guys will be with me. so after thinking a while, i decided to take the bus with zg to his hse and wait for taxi there. at least zg will be with me. so tat's wad we did. walked all the way, cross several streets, to the pitstop cafe area! that means raffles area! ha. the bus stop had many smokers but we just stood at one side where there's less smoke. well, it was a gd starting pt to tell zg my fears and concerns. thanks for listening pal! after that, the bus ride was a short trip since traffic was less. however, when i boarded the taxi at zg's hse there, the taxi had a strong stench of stale smoke! it was quite strong at first. yee. so guess wad? after i reached home, my clothes and body totally reek of smoke! i was so shocked and disgusted! totally din like it! and i was so afraid to put the dress to the yard. i'm afraid my mum will question me and think too much. ha. but well, in the end, i still told her abt it. just that saying it nicely. ha. now i learn my lesson already. if possible, stay away from all the smoke. mm. okay. so that's the end of that night-out. thanks guys! nxt up! my 3 Cs: Champagne grapes, confidence and complacency. the last 2 Cs crossed my mind during my driving test. while waiting, i was wondering to myself if i'm ebing confident or complacent. i dunno which one. after taking the test twice previously (then), i think i'm confident. yet, i had to consistently remind myself not to be complacent. cos complacency can kill. so well, i dunno. until now, i still dunno but i guess it doesn't matter cos ultimately, just do your best during the test! champagne grapes. ever heard of it? neither have i till i see it for myself and ate the fruit! it totally looks nice! i was totally shock when mum showed me and even lifted up the branch to reveal the bunch of grapes. and i really mean BUNCH! the grapes were also small and sweet. just pop them into my mouth! nice! =) it really looks like a typical grape picture. mm.
ok. on the last note, i actually wrote a poem last night. rare. got the inspiration again and can still have the skills to write. good. well, won't post it here. personal. it's in my diary. well, ok. i guess i'll end my post here then! ciao! "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." --------------------------------- Monday, October 06, 2008 @ 12:30 am [quick one, packed december]
well, here's my plan for december: 8-11dec--youth leaders camp at Austin Hills, Malaysia
well, also to factor in is My Hope Singapore which I hope I can make it though by the looks of the dates of my family hol, it seems like I wun be in Singapore. Hmm. But I really wanna be part of this nation-wide movement! Plus, to spread arnd, MEETING UP WITH FRIENDS! Events are events, it's my frens and spending time with them that matters the most! Esp those that I'm not going to meet during these events. Also to spread arnd is watching performances! I definitely dun wanna miss performances at esp during the dec hols! plus, i haven't write the IHG events plus Annual Camp. to be honest, the AC and IHG are the lowest on my list. I mean, comparing hall and chr activities, chr takes more priority. What I'm afraid though, to be honest again, is that they dun crash with any of my activities. Then, I'll be in a dilemna if I should participate or not. If I do, it would mean i'm packed PACKED and health will be at risk. Well, I do want to go for AC cos it'll be like a hall camp--can know my hall mates better. And i do enjoy suppporting in games like IHG. But...sigh..I just don't want to get myself sick or stressed up... super packed dec uh? And it's only October and I got my dec planned out! "good job", Sharon. Busy woman uh? don't really like the idea that things are so rigid and packed and planned. I mean, it's good to have my dates booked and marked out early. But i really want to spend this hol to do my own things--meeting up with frens, catching up on BSF...and i would need flexible time. Sigh. To my frens who have plans to ask me out, to meet me up to catch up, don't get frightened by this schedule of mine! you know my heart--i really want to spend time with you and just talk to you. so just ask. i'll be sure to find a time. and i'll definitely put in the effort and the initiative to ask you out! well, the last activity on the list, 2-day event, was one that i took up recently. I got a phonecall this afternoon to be part of a 3-man team to plan the prog. I was surprised that I got the invitation. I told him, ee fai, that i wld consider. But I didn't take long. I felt a very strong impression from God to go for it--to serve Crusade in this area. From reading QT material to John 21 (the cell grp Word that I shared) to thinking and praying, I just felt God was asking me to go and have faith in Him to lead me through. Yes, indeed, it's a step of faith. Just look at the commitments that I have this dec frm all those activities! firstly, when I'm overseas, it wld mean i can't meet up with the team. secondly, i'm involved in planning for youth camp 08, hall FOC, prob CNY planning and christmas service...so many planning things...so taking this other one on was really mm-mm. well, but i have faith. i believe that God has given me this opportunity. i was even talking to my mum abt it and she gave me her blessing and encouragement. well, i'm not very involved in crusade this year cos of my BSF that crashes with Crossroads. so i'm not tat close to the ppl. but i hope thru this event planning, i can know them better and it's just one way i can serve them. besides, i really do want to be involved in crusade. and hopefully, thru this event, i can assimlate better esp when i'll be joinin them at crossroads nxt year onwards! =) another thing that led me to believe that God is moving me in this direction is that it somehow seems like God planned it for me to be involved in planning. well, given all my experiences, planning is the area i can serve best in. and He gave me this opportunity. hmm. well, i did tell ee fai all this and hope he doesn't mind my pack schedule! hope wen chian will work alongside with us! Well, to end this post, i just want to echo this prayer: Lord, please help me through December this year. It's really very packed. Can be quite stressful. And Lord, to be honest, just looking at it now really scares me. Really makes me afraid, weak. I want to depend on You, Lord. I pray that you'll grant me strength and good health and fight off any spiritual battles especially when I go for the leaders camp and the youth camp. May these events written down and those yet to be, be vessels for your love to spread. Use me during these events to reach out to people in any way you want me to. Help me to focus more on You and the people rather than the event. I pray that I'll still keep in contact with my friends during this period. But more importantly, I commit this December to You. Use me as You know best. Amen. --------------------------------- Wednesday, October 01, 2008 @ 11:00 pm [happy]
simple word. Happy. to describe how I feel now. Well, firstly, wanna wish Khalis and his family, as well as my malay frens, a selamat hari raya! and yes, being frens with Khalis for years already, I feel i shld put aside any inhibitions and go visit his family during this festive period as an expression of respect! (: well, I'm feeling happy today because I just came back from esplanade! it's been some time since i've last went there. so i went there with wan ting and lester. wore a nice dress too. glad to dress up! haha. well, yesterday, i din wanna spend my whole public holiday solely on studying. so i decided to go esplanade website to see what free performance they have. and viola! there was a strings quartet playing classic cartoon tunes. well, so decided to go and invited wan ting along. after that, we msged others but only lester can make it. so this is the recount! apparently, i was studying in the afternoon and got held back. so i was 15 mins late. sorry guys! then we decided to have dinner after the half-hour performance. so okay lor. since we had time, i got tempted to enter the G2000 shop since there was SALE and there were shirts selling at $13! tat's cheap for G2000. so i entered that shop! looked arnd and saw this green half-sleeve shirt! firstly, i hardly have green shirts. Secondly, i dun have a half-sleeve shirt. so i thought it'll be good to wear to lectures since it's always so cold. so i did the fastest shopping ever! i went in, looked at the shirt, choose my size, talked a bit to wan ting, tried the shirt and immediately bought the shirt. all this is done in 15 minutes! the fastest shopping i ever did! and i was surprised! cos usually i will look at the clothes, walk arnd to other shops then go back to that shop when i'm sure about it. but not this time round. ha. maybe because i knew i needed one and i din want to miss it. ha. well, but thinking back, i wonder if i'm too impulsive. haha. well, after that, we headed down to esplanade to watch the performance. it was very entertaining. even to the youths like us. we listened to the song and start looking at each other, trying to guess the cartoon these songs were played in. it was pretty interesting and mind-intriguing. we stared at each other for some time before coming out with the answer. and i got it right on all times! haha. and i even remember what scene it was! haha. imagine that! like they were playing a medley of Cinderella cartoon and i can even say that the section is when the mouse was sewing the dress and when Cinderella was mopping the floor. lol. well, it does bring back many memories. haha. and that goes to show how often i watch these cartoons when i was younger! ha. fairy-tale childhood. but well, listening to these songs and taking some time to recall the cartoons does tell me that i'm getting old already. haha. the performance itself was good. very good playing. harmonious. play together. right pauses. co-ordinate well. and most of all, fantastic choice of songs and style of playing. there were 2 violins (violin 1 and violin 2), viola and cello. no double bass though. but it's okay. the cello provided a good bass. and each instrument takes turn to play the melody. even the cello. i felt it was good. brings out a different perspective. and they are all locals and around my age--university students. however, i dun think they represent a uni. i think they just come together and decide to perform. kudos to the string quartet! and i feel they chose the right genre of music to play--on 1 oct when it's children's day! then they play all the cartoon tunes. and what's more, it's a public hol so many of the parents brought their young kids to watch. and so the kids can relate to the songs well. and disney cartoons are classic! totally! so it even appeals to the older ones like us! haha. well, i feel that the greatest satisfaction i get is in knowing that lester and wan ting enjoyed the show and performance =) i'm glad you enjoyed it guys! me too! more importantly, i enjoyed your presence and company! =) so after that, we had dinner. and suddenly lester was so generous. he treated us xiao long bao and the pan-fried pork dumpling. initially i wanted to treat the xiao long bao since i suggested eating in that restaurant, Asian kitchen. we even pushed arnd a bit during the ordering time. haha. but in the end, he gave the treat. but thinking back, it's funny and rare. fighting to treat. haha. but yeah. thanks alot lester! it was nice of you! =) so had a good filling dinner. went to shop arnd at city link mall and marina square. bought a farewell gift for eleena. then, lester showed us the clothes shop that he goes. and i discovered the wing of marina square i din noe! i was surprised! i can't believe i missed out that side! haha. but now i know! yay! not so noob. ha. so shop arnd, wanted to eat in an ice cream shop but it closed. so lester went to get ice cream at macs before the 3 of us headed back home. we had a good chat. over dinner and on the way back. nice. rare to meet up and really spend time tgt outside sch and not talking much abt sch work! so reached back hall early at arnd 11pm. mm. it was nice. chatted with yu xin and khalis. okay! so tat's about all. i'm just glad that i had a good day today. oh. studied with yu xin and others at the reading room in the afternoon too. did my lab report and much was completed. only left 1 main section and conclusion. hope can finish by tml. yar. it was nice to study with yu xin. well, at least i finally can spend time with him. it's either i'm busy with activities such that our schdeule dun match or he's in sch doing projs till very late. and by tat time, i wld have slept already. ha. well, even if it's jus silent studying today, it was still nice to have him arnd. at least i know he's there when i wanna talk to someone. and he's always putting so much food on the table that i just can't resist but eat them. THANKS! had lunch with jing yuan, zhong wei, shi yin and joyce. it's been a long time since i've seen sy and zw. it was good to catch up with them! =) cheers and take care! okay. gotta go! nitez! --------------------------------- @ 10:30 pm [reflection]
recently, bsf was doing on the end times. and one of the qns that was posted challenged us to think about if we look forward to Christ's return--His Second Coming. this got me thinking hard. i said both yes and no. yes because it would mean the end of suffering and being with God. no because I cannot give a good account to Him yet. i believe the front part was talking abt being ready and the hour unknown. so that got me thinking about being accountable to God. that was last week's qns. and this week, it continued on the end times with 3 parables: the 10 virgins, the talents and the sheep & goats. talking about being ready, giving a good account and caring for Christians and ppl arnd. the 2nd one got me thinking again. am i ready to give God an account for all i've done and said? will i receive the praise that i'm His good and faithful servant? will i be able to give a good report to Him and be like the one 5 virgins who managed to enter the wedding? or the servant who has 5 talents or the one who has 10 talents and earned a double-fold? or the one who has cared for the brothers which is like caring for Jesus? well, there were things i did in the past that were wrong and i can't give any reply when God asks me to give an account. but as i think further, i realised that i cannot undo what i did. all i can do is bring it to the Lord, confess my sins, not carry the guilt on my shoulder and to move on being more conscious that i need to give an account to God at the end of the day. so to my Christian readers (and non-Christians), are you able to give a good account to God when He returns? --------------------------------- |
