after all the laughters, teasings and lessons are over, it's back to hall again. And thinking back, i really start to feel down and confused. what am i here for? Why am i studying? or more like, sleeping in lectures =( I start to get confuse and question myself. i don't know. ever since uni started for 9 weeks now, i really have no mood to study. i have no discipline and no want to put in the effort to study. the only motivation that pushes me to study is when tests are coming. that's when i'll put in more effort to study. other than that, everytime night befalls, i just feel like slacking my way through with i-don't-know-what.

i don't feel good. i definitely don't feel good. everyday i just put on a front and push myself to pay attention in lecture, do tutorial and handle the proj. but what is the end? wad do i learn? wad do i want? sometimes i feel bad. that i'm using my parents' money for nothing. 7K. it's not cheap. yet, here i am wasting my time away by not studying. sigh. i know. it's not good. but i really have no motivation nor inspiration nor drive. tell me, where can i get them from?

wad do i really want if i don't continue my degree now? christian work? full time with an organisation? travel? catching up with frens? work in a company? sigh. study....i really need to put in more effort. just wish my heart is willing. sigh. or perhaps i'm just too tired now to think straight. not enough slp to think straight. sigh. hope i'll feel better after a short rest now.

just a last add-in: thanks alot wan ting for your drink! really surprised and touched by it! helps alot though i was quite hesistant to drink it initially. I'm sure I'll recover faster! thanks for your concern girl! love ya!