good news. both my tooth and my heart feels better! somehow, on sat, my tooth stopped aching. but i still went ahead with a dental appt and did a root canal therapy. yes. the one that i blogged about in my previous entry.

I was quite scared at first. let the dentist check then he passed electricity again. And it's confirmed that my nerve died. yes. quite a sad news. quite stunning. it had no reaction to the electricity passed through so it died. but the good news is that, because it's dead, I DON'T NEED TO GET ANY INJECTIONS! I'm so happy when I heard it! I was like "okay okay. let's do it". lol. wad a change of attitude. well, no pain means good. i jus don't want pain.

so he did some drilling on my tooth where sometimes i can feel some pressure. he drilled several times and stuck coloured pins into my tooth. at one time, i had about 3 pins in my tooth. ha. must have looked funny. then, took an x-ray on that tooth before the dentist used another pin to take out the pulp from within. then he put in some antiseptic fluid into it. and i don't know why, that hurt alot! really stinging unexpected pain. ouch. but i would rather get it fixed. well, the thing is that the tooth may decolour (after a few years). so will see how it goes. At the end, he sealed up the tooth and i will have another appt to open up and clean up again. yeah. some time this month.

well, yeah. emotionally i'm better. no more those italics words for now on that issue. i believe the turning point was Psalm 100. it really touched my heart. as well as the readings from BSF notes--reaffirm me of God's love to me. it jus adds on to what was revealed through ps 100. touched me totally. thank God. thank God for Khalis' and Le Jing's istening ear too!

sigh. well, i was jus told that i still haven't changed much. sad. i wonder when will i learn to change or rather, when will i change? maybe i can't change my personality, but i can surely change my words and the style i use? sigh. when and how do i change so i will stop spoiling things around me? how can i learn? help me, Lord.

oh well. on another note. here's a short story i came up with myself:

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I had been born 5 months ago. Tough and strong, my lady kept me under her bed until recently. No doubt, I had many thoughts of whether I'm abandoned, whether I'm forgotten or whether I'm just useless. I looked around and heard of many stories on how my siblings and cousins have been useful. They are either used to carry household items in the house or clay. But me? Though I'm big in size, I'm of no use. I felt very useless then.

Suddenly, on one night, I heard loud banging sounds coming from my side. I heard wails and screams of babies and hebrew ladies from the neighbouring house. It felt so frightful. I could almost hear the intense screams of pain and sorrow. However, this terror did not last only on that night. It actually went on for weeks and nights. It was a sad tale. It was not long after that I realised that the echoes of screams were of those who lost their sons to the cruel murder order of Pharoah. What tragedy. What sadness.

But sadness is yet to come. A few days after this ordeal started, I heard loud crying sounds from my own house! My lady had given birth to a son! I started to tremble and rattle. This time round, it would be terrible for my lady's son will have no escape. As I peered out from under the bed, I saw my lady wrapped the baby in her arms. With tears in her eyes, she pressed the baby closed to her chest as she nursed her. From the frown on her face, I could tell that she feared the same plight of the other Hebrew ladies would also befall on her and her child. But as she held the baby's small wrist, I see a glimpse of confidence radiating through her face. "The God of Abraham will protect my son. I vow never to offer my son to the Egyptian River God"

So for 3 months, she nursed the baby quietly and with as little suscipicion as possible. Every night, I could hear she and her husband talking about that baby and making plans. Suddenly, on an early morning, she dragged me out from under the bed. I was fearful. I began to wonder what she was going to do with me. Perhaps this is my chance to be useful?

With jars of tar and pitch laying beside me, she put me down on her lap and rubbed them on me. It was very painful. I could feel the strong turdy hands going around me and coating me with layer and layer of tar. I totally hated the smell. I hated the rough hands. I hated the pushing and tugging on my sides. I struggled so much and wriggled so much that I slipped out of her lap many times. However, she still picked me up gently and rubbed layer after layer.

As my lady was doing so, I caught sight of the baby. The lovely and cute face started smiling at me and the mother. I felt so comforted just looking at the baby. But the most amazing thing was that my lady suddenly placed the baby in my arms! I actually had the baby so closed to me! However, I was scared. What was she going to do with the baby and I? Where is she bringing us to? What is her plan? With so much inhibitions in me, little did I know it was the start of my joy...

The lady put a cloth over the baby and everything turned to darkness for him. I saw that my lady started going through narrow alleys, avoiding any greetings by anyone. Walking hurriedly, she started to head for...River Nile! That's where all the sons of the Hebrew woman are thrown into! Surely my lady isn't going to drown her son?

I started to tremble inside. Then, my lady stooped down. She held me in her hands and looked at the baby again. Lovingly she whispered a prayer and begged God to preserve the baby from the crocodiles that swarmed in the river. Gently, she let me down and I felt the cold icy water touch my bottom. I started to have little control from the hands and I started to float according to the river's current. It is now just the baby and I. What would become of us?

Time started to pass. Still, the baby made no sound. No crocodiles were yet to be seen. Everywhere was quiet until "bump" I hit my side against a rock. I started to shake violently. "Wahhh..." the baby started to wail out in tears. I tried to "shh" the baby and rocked as gently as possible but still the baby couldn't be quieted. Suddenly, a servant girl came towards me. Oh no! The baby is in trouble now!

I tried to back away but the hands of the servant girl was too swift for my movement. I was in the girl's hand. Bringing it back to a pretty lady that looked like a princess, she opened up the lid and both of them stared at the baby. I started to shut my eyes for fear of what would happen! Yet, it turned out to be the unexpected. Instead of raising alarm, both ladies smiled widely, lifted the baby out of my arms and carried it in their arms. Lovingly, just like my lady, the princess craddled the baby and hushed him. She said to the servant girl firmly, "He shall be called Moses." Suddenly, a young girl rushed forward to ask for permission to get a Hebrew lady to nurse the baby. Wait! I recognise the girl! She's my lady's eldest daughter! Yes! There's hope for the baby! Soon, my lady appeared and carried the baby to safety...And the story goes on as tales are told that this baby grew up to be Israel's future deliverer and saved the entire Jewish race! What an amazing and wonderful joy!

And how amazing that I actually took part in God's great plan! That He actually used an ordinary basket like me to carry out his extraordinary plan! How wonderful! Me? Of all baskets, me? And to think that I've been thinking that I'm abandoned, forgotten and useless when I had been under the bed! And to think that I resent the tough work of tar and pitch that were working on my body! Man...If it weren't for the thick layer of tar and pitch, I wouldn't have floated so far into the part of the river where the princess rescued the baby. And to think that I feared so much when actually, all is in God's hands! Wow! It certainly blows me off how God works!

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Okay. That's the end of my story. Well, I got inspired when I read my article on the Mother of Moses in my devotion book. I was thinking: Why not write a story in the perspective of a basket? To bring out the point that God can use ordinary you and me to carry out his extraordinary plan and will. And as I was writing this, I realise I can actually bring out several more points.

For example, the hard work and pain the basket have to go through is actually a perparation for the greater plan. So next time when you are going a hardship, don't shrink back. Dont' be sad. Don't give up. Rmb that God has a greater plan installed and the hard work and pain you have to go through is part of mouding you for that plan. You may not see it now and have alot of fears but always rmb God's promise that He has a plan for you and do what's best for us.

Another point is that with God, there is no need to fear; there is no need to worry. So cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you!

-The End-