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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 @ 10:30 pm [stress]
Stress! Super stress! What is this man!! Recess week and stress! I have too many meetings!!! I just don't have time for myself and for my own studies!!! It's mid-week and how much of my academic have I achieved?? NOTHING!! All because of....grr!!! Too many meetings. The stupid HRM project is really taking my time! And then....sigh. Sometimes I also wonder if....nvm. Shouldn't say online here on the blog. ARGH! I don't wanna fail my CAs but....forget it. Let me rant.. --------------------------------- Friday, September 25, 2009 @ 3:15 pm [touched]
Yesterday I attended crossroads and it was very good! The North joined the South. On the last session of their series on God's Word. The speaker was really good! Reminds me of Amy Lau of last sem! She's grounded in her knowledge of God and the Bible, she speaks with much firmness and convictions, filled with experiences and stories to tell and most importantly, being a woman of God! I thank God for her and for the opportunity to be able to learn and listen from His Word and His servant! Indeed, she shared much and God's Word touched my heart. On many issues I'm facing... One of them I clearly rmb is her closing on the book of "3 cups of tea". Linking it with our Christian walk too. A guy wants to climb up a high mountain and as usual, there's a nepalist guide. After being separated and surviving through a snow storm, the guide and the man found each other! The guide scolded the man and asked him to throw away any map that made him get lost and to follow his footsteps. Because the man was too weak, they had to make their way back to base camp. The guide suggested that he go ahead of the man so as to set up fire and make a cup of tea at a pitstop ahead. In this way, the man would gain energy and increase his chances of surviving and making it back to base camp. All the man have to do is to follow the guide's footsteps closely. This story shows many things:
the cups of tea and pitstops are refreshers and energy that God gives us along life's journey.
the following of footsteps invokes me to question: am I following God's footsteps? taking the steps that He wants me to take?
and as I journey on, I will reach base camp--the final destination of heaven. What about you? Another article that I read today was on the 1st commandment. What an inspiring author! Insightful too! No wonder Evelyn rmbs the lessons so clearly! It really impacts me too! Gave me questions for me to reflect and answer. And honestly, it is a struggle. It's so serious and such a big promise! It makes me realise that I have alot of head knowledge. I know what I should and the benefits of it. But I'm only half-hearted in acting it out, in obeying it, in having it convicted in me. As I grow up and take on more responsibilities, I understand more clearly the meaning of commitment and promises. And I find it really hard to utter the same prayer as the author writes. I find it hard to give the correct answer to the questions because I fear of failing from it, I fear I can't keep to it, I fear I'll not keep to it, not do my part...It's a BIG promise. And to give a promise to God is really a solemn act and issue. I must be serious about it and keep to it. That article really spurs me to think and reflect on my thoughts, actions and attitudes. As much as I want to question the questions and ask "why must I do this?" or "why should I do it?" or "must i really do it?", I know the answer to it--it's a commandment. It's the FIRST commandment. And it's GOD we are talking about--the God that deserves the center of my worship, heart and mind! God, please break me down. There's much I need to change. Much I need to reflect on. Speak to me and I pray that I would follow you wholeheartedly. And not out of obligation. Amen. --------------------------------- Monday, September 21, 2009 @ 11:56 am [quote]
You can be starved to death not because of the lack of food but the absence of appetite. For my Christian friends, think deeper:
Just as manna is gathered daily, may we gather and read His Word daily. Amen. --------------------------------- Sunday, September 20, 2009 @ 3:33 pm Speak O Lord
--------------------------------- @ 3:00 pm [OCS social night]
Was reading the previous entry and indeed, each to his own! Matthias did have his own special points! Honestly, I did feel really weird having to go with him since he's one year younger than me. But all was good! At least I met a hall freshie at the dinner table! Glad to be able to chat with her! Know more hall stuffs! The guys were all nice to talk. I think they didn't figure out I am one year older than all of them. It was fun playing and teasing them. It feels different. Guess, it's psychological. Like being more senior in age gives me the chance to be loud. Lol. Okay. Self-deception :P The place was great! It was very beautiful and nice! At least this time it's at the Officer Cadet Mess! So there were flags, display cabinets, swords hanging, air-con and was much larger than the previous time I went. It was pretty nice and grand for a place in OCS. Took a photo shot with Matthias by professionals. Got a free photo. The food was good. Buffet. Roast beef was good! Mm. I like looking at the gifts at the cabinet! They were nice and unique! Matthias was very gentleman. Out of the many things he did, the most gentleman act he did was to open the taxi door for me. I was totally shocked and surprised when he asked me to wait. Then he went over the other side and opened it for me. That was super sweet. Not a single guy did that for me before! Haha. Well, the programme was nice. Got to meet several ppl. The video was awesome! And I had a rose! Sure brightens up my days and the subsequent days! Cos everytime I go to the living room drawer to take my comb, I wld always see the rose. It really cheers me up! I simply LOVE roses! =) Esp red ones! Well, all in all, it was a good chat with him. A deliberate time spent with him esp when he's super busy and all! His frens are also very interesting! One added me on fb! And so I began to add the other guys and binbin. Haha. Oh well. Here are the 2pics of us! 
 --------------------------------- Monday, September 14, 2009 @ 12:36 am [work + slack]
Yes...the 2 contradictory words pop up in my brain now. I'm like totally slack this weekend. Okay. Another contradictory word--weekend isn't meant to be a weekday right? Not meant to be total studying? Sigh. So wrong for ppl like us! Like me! Students! And I actually have mountains of work piling up! Only managed to clear...3 e-lectures? and 1 tutorial which i practically looked at answers. Sigh. I'm so slack. Don't know wad I do also. On com. What a distraction! Man. I had better have more discipline to do my work!! To step up on it and stop owning so much work and lectures! Grr. I wonder how to do so man... But nonetheless, I managed to catch up with frens! Quite cool! Jeremy Wong, Brenden (whom i'm very surprised he msg me on fb), my cousin, Yann Ming (which I totally screamed at!). I was super happy when talkin to ym cos I realised that he's going into MSE at NTU!! Was telling him all the tips etc! Cool! Yay! One more person i can help! =) And was chatting with and honestly telling him what I think he wld do. haha. But he told me he has changed. Can also tell slightly frm his thinkings. Haha. Quite looking forward to see the new ym! =) Haha. I can never forget wad sh and yw and i were joking about in sec school! No wonder he left such deep impression in me! :) Okay. I think I had PR enough in the wkend. Hmm. Talkin about it, I got a socialising dinner this Tuesday!! OCS social night. Again. Haha. This time round, it's with my childhood playmate. But at least, now I have a clearer idea on the prog and what it wld be like. But nonetheless, I'm quite scared. And this time round, can't count on meeting ppl I know. At least not many. Just hope to meet some juniors that I used to chat with! Or maybe my poly frens? Tat one I can count on it! I have a few hopes and one of them is that I hope i dun need to pay for any taxi fare! I really dun like the expensive fares. Haha. Another is to get used to my fren's aus accent and can clique? I really hope so! 3rd: That he'll be equally excited and looking forward to the social night. I don't know. Hope his attitude and thoughts changed over the past week! Hmm. Maybe cos I'm thinking too much of ZG. I miss him. And I really missed the 2 dinners we had together! The 2 OCS dinners. Oh well. Each has his own strength and each one will give a different experience. So I should just hope and smiles through it all. Find the good points in each one! =) Cheers! Tuesday! Here I come! Let it be a glam one and a night unforgettable! At least, I get to dress up and paint nails again! =)) --------------------------------- Friday, September 11, 2009 @ 9:25 pm [in response to my quote]
In my previous entry, I came up with a quote myself. Reflecting on my current situation, I said, "My future is uncertain, my present unbearable and my past too ugly to look at". And my beloved brother replied, "My past is redeemed, my present makes sense and my future is secured". Wow! It totally blew my mind away! How timely and how lovely is that statement! It contains so much power and meaning! It's totally absolutely certainly true! What an assurance for those who hope in God! Thank you God! [trauma] After being in 2 car accidents (no worries, no one is injured), I really feel the impact. I was driving just now and boy! it certainly is scary. The scenes, the feelings, the sound of "bang" and the cringe on my legs just come time and again whenever i start to get close to the vehicle in front of me. And it overtakes me so much that i would hit on the brakes and shiver, giving my passengers a not-so-good halt-time. I am scared. I admit I am scared. But I must also say tat it's a good thing. That at least through my friends' accidents, I know that I can't underestimate myself and the distance I have between my car and the one in front. Mm. I hope for 2 things. That the effect of this wouldn't last long on me. And that I would always remember the lessons learned. [fun] Haha. But yar. I did have my fair share of fun at CS100 today! Playing with Russell and his blog! So fun to blog on someone else's blog! Haha. But of course, I'm always careful with what I say! Check it out! =) --------------------------------- @ 5:45 pm [jumping time]
Today, I felt like jumping into the future and take a peek
But I know that it would never happen. Cos I know that God won't allow it. He wants me to go through each and every season of my life, each and every chapter of it. If I skip and peek at the final result, I would never learn to trust God. I would never learn my lesson. I would never learn what He wants me to learn. Yes. The future is indeed very uncertain, the present unbearable and the past too ugly to look at. I fear. Honestly, I shake and tremble in fear. But God holds my hand. In everything and every moment, He reaches out to hold my hand. He is willing to walk me through...if I would allow Him to. And through today's circumstance, I know He wants me to learn. And I want to just commit my future into His hands. That whatever the outcome, I pray that I will surrender, I will lean on Him, I would cry to Him, I would trust Him. Surrender is not easy. It's going to be a tough road. But I hope and pray that I can do it. With the Holy Spirit's help. Let go and entrust. God is indeed God.
--------------------------------- Wednesday, September 09, 2009 @ 5:55 pm [tough modules]
Tough modules. Been watching online lectures for the past few days but tough man. Really tough. Not easy listening in lectures live. On lappie it's easier. At least I can pause and stop for a while. To take notes and rewind the lecture. But sigh. I must really say tat it's tough. Why are the modules so tough this semester? I wish I have an answer. Is it just me or...? --------------------------------- Sunday, September 06, 2009 @ 9:35 pm [And God spoke]
Today, as I listened to the sermon at church, I was reminded of what I'd blogged in the previous entry. 2 thoughts came into my mind: A card that I pasted on my desk and my verse of the year. The card reads, "Telling God how big your problems are? Tell your problems how big God is!" Exodus 14:13-14 "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." It brings back so much memory of my feelings and thoughts of my recent situation. Indeed, it's really like a problem and I've been grumbling and complaining and feeling down. But in fact, I have a BIG God standing behind me. It strike me that I shouldn't be discouraged, that I shouldn't fear. That my problems are so small compared to the infinite character of God! I have a big God who promises to drown my Egyptians if only I be still. And to me,
And I know I can see miracles when I let God work in me! So let go, Sharon! Be still and know that He is God! --------------------------------- @ 1:21 am [tiring and stress]
School hasn't been going good for me these past weeks. It's been 4 weeks already and honestly, it's very tough. The modules are very difficult. I can't understand most of them. Esp my cores. And I have to keep watching lecture recording. And even as I watch, I have to rewind and make the lecturer repeat in order to catch some points. Thankfully there's lecture recording. But it goes to show just how bad and lousy I am. Maybe partly cos I doze off in class. But even when I pay attention, I still can't catch all of it! Many concepts are tough and hard to grasp. Sigh. It's tough man. This sem is tough. As I was doing a forecasting just now, I jus realised that my GPA will drop. Compared to last sem, that is. I can't maintain the GPA. And I have to include my coms studies in order to have it above 4.0. which can be risky. Sigh. And I was as realistic as it can get already. It wld be either 3.55 or 4.0. Sigh. I really dunno. I really dunno wad to do. God, help me to hope and give my best. --------------------------------- Tuesday, September 01, 2009 @ 12:15 am [bbqs]
Yesterday I had a good time. Had 2 bbqs! It's so wow! PR alot. Haha. Public-Relations. Meaning that I talk to alot of ppl, make new frens and catch up with people. Wow. It really does feel good cos you know me, I like to talk alot and spend time with people! That's my primary love language! So the first bbq was at Jeremy's place for Jeremy and Jessie's farewell party. Talked a bit with Jessie's frens but talked more with Jeremy's frens. Get to know them, where they are heading. They have very interesting character. I'm glad to see Leo again whom I met the last time. But we both forget the other party's name. Haha. It's okay. Then some of his frens are also going London/UK to study. Rich kids eh? Law and Medicine kinda courses. Haha. And finally, I'm glad I finally linked up with Issac!! I always see him at BSF, tried to greet him but can't catch his eye. So I'm glad I finally went forward to say hi just when he was leaving. His other fren, Jonathan, was also there so was trying to explain about BSF to him and encourage him to come. I wonder if he would turn up but if he does, I hope he'll turn up for the right reason. Subsequently, I was left all alone when all the Abundant lifers left all at one shot. So left me alone. So I helped to pack-up and bring up to the house. And had dad to come pick me up and send me to hall. Rather, I drove myself to hall. Haha. Glad for the chance but my control on the expressway is still quite bad. I learned from Maxton after that that I gotta grip less tightly so that my car wun steer to the left and right due to the weight of my arm. Mm. So went to hall at arnd 1045pm. It was nice to see my peers and my freshies again! Talked to them, catch up with them, wave hi, greet, nod. Fun. And I get to talk to Pearl and Feline again! Fun! And to forget, my own seniors: Kenny, Ziqiang, Wei Chen, Zheng Xi! Nice! Sweet! =) Really happy to pop by and wish Chun Ji a happy bday with the bday cake celebrations! =)) Went to greet roomie too! Glad to see that she's well and enjoying herself in the single-room. Best of all, that she's slping early! Yay! =) Love and miss her! After that, went over to help out Yongzhi and Maxton in the banner painting. Quite a wow. Was nice to see the banner and helped to paint a bit. But as the hours drag on, got quite tired and losing concentration. And I knew that Maxton was quite a bit of perfectionist so I dare not do too much lest I spoil it for him. But thru this whole banner painting, I got to know Maxton more. Always, didn't have time to really sit down and talk to him. And often we end up joking. So at least that time, I got to really talk to him abt future, past and he and yz. And I'm really glad to see yz again! Haven't talked to him for quite some time (or so it seems). Haha. And it was nice working together with him! So helped the 2 of them hang up the banner too! Nice! And pearl, gilbert, kenny and another girl jus came back from a run and greeted us. Wow. Pearl can really infer alot! And read into things. Nice! But can also be scary! Haha. And kenny talked alot but i believe it was very informative for the freshies! After everything, at night, glad to have a chance to talk to yz for like a really really long time. To catch up and all. It was sweet. Such a long time since we talked in a block of time esp since he started the banner thing. Oh well. I guess the campaigning thing will tone things down. And when he gets in, it'll tone down more :( Gotta anticipate it i guess. Oh well. Couldn't slp last night. So sad. I only slept for abt an hour plus only. Sigh. The whole hall thing again. Or maybe it's psychology. So i went home to rest and skipped bsf to slp. So that at night, I can have enough energy to go out to celebrate my sis's bday. BUT! She suddenly cancelled the supper. I was so disappointed. I guess i threw a bit of racket but felt quite bad. It's her bday afterall. Oh well. at least we are celebrating tml and she likes the present we got for her. It's wad she need and want too! =) So to end off,
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