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Wednesday, May 26, 2010 @ 12:58 am [over-extrovert?]
I really wonder if I'm being overly friendly; too extrovert; too socialable; too bold. I don't know. I just find myself doing things that normally people won't do. It's not harmful that I do it, it's just against norm. Yet, after doing it, I really do feel much more energized and happy and just simply smile to myself. Hmm... Had this train of thought after today's SOLEAD cum Gen12ii commissioning. I was so glad to see the big crowd and was looking out for random people that I might happen to meet! And indeed, I found one who was sitting beside me at BSF class ytday! :) Was very surprised to see him. Then, I sat beside Marcus and had many good laughs and chats too! It was really fun just playing, joking, teasing him and being teased. I really enjoyed the dinner and all. It was really nice and fun! And I knew that was when he and I were high. Obviously, he was high. I've never seen Marcus that high and friendly before. As for me, it brought out the social side of me. I think my nickname "hello world" is really apt. I'm so much to that extent that just now, on the way down the stairs at BB station, I saw a guy who looks familiar. Then I just smiled and nodded at him. He reciprocated my actions. But all the way towards the bus stop, I had no recollection of where I met him until he boarded the same bus as me and alight at the same stop. So I figured out that he's probably someone that I've seen often on the bus and so recognise him. I can't believe that I just greeted someone like that. Just someone that I see at the bus often. And there I am smiling and making eye contact. Huh? Doesn't it make you raise your eyebrow? Why am I doing it? I don't know. I don't know why I'm so friendly to strangers (those that look dangerous or seem suscipious). Am I putting myself in danger? On a side note, when we alighted, he had to cross the road while I walked ahead. So we nodded and waved goodbye before we part. He was the one that smiled at me first, this time round. I guess he's open too. I wonder if I'll see him at the bus stop next time. Perhaps, I'll go forward and really speak to him. I won't be paiseh. I'll in fact be very glad to make a friend, an acquantaince! But I just hope this doesn't frighten him. And this doesn't frighten random people that I meet. Yet, this make me think if I'm doing the right thing. Am I putting my guard down too much that I endanger myself? Especially since I have no form of defence (except God) and am a girl. Hmmm....should I exercise some self-control and not be too sociable or joking with people too much? Hmm... --------------------------------- Sunday, May 23, 2010 @ 12:57 am [updates]
Yes! Finally I can blog! It's been a really long time since I last blog cos I haven't had the inspiration recently and I have been too busy at night. Yes, you can still find me on fb and appearing offline on msn. But I just can't blog. Glad I've finally had the inspiration but wonder how much I can squeeze in the remaining time! First, wanna say that I'm sooooo busy! I've started working. Not a permanent one but ad-hoc. Bringing pri & sec sch students to different parts of Singapore for outdoor learning. So far, I've brought Holy innocents pri & St Anthony's to T3 for lessons. It was good. Not bad. And Nanyang pri to Hort park (which was quite bad cos it was a science lesson). It was tougher teaching science than maths. I still like maths *beams* But doing that is really tiring. Plus, I haven't recovered fully from my sore throat. So all this while, I've been teaching with that sexy voice of mine! :S quite bad actually. I know I shouldn't be so harsh on my body but I really have to work and earn that money to pay off my bills. Geez. If it's not for those bills, I would have done less or take time off in between. Oh well. Since I always spend before I earn, it's time I make good my word/concept. When it comes to at night, I'll be busying replying emails. Boy! I've never had to reply so many emails and so urgently before! All the accomodation in china. Liasing with 2 people now. And emailing my flatmates etc. It's so tedious! And so many things to settle. So many questions to ask. Ha. And it's not just the 2 of them that I have to reply. But also to some of my friends whom I'm keeping in contact with. Talking about which, I've yet to email Jeremy & Shuhui. Ahh. How I wish I can just sit down and have the time to write a looong email to them. How I miss them so much! Boy! Working is really taking alot of time. Now, the feeling floods back when I don't really like working. If only I can just don't work and don't study. Be able to do what I like and can still sustain life. Hmm. Do you think I should go work in some farm area? Grow my own vegetable garden, have some animals and lead a self-sustainable life? Then I don't need to make money. Just make sure the vegetables & animals are enough to provide for my meals. Haha. What an interesting thought! Perhaps eh? :P Okay. On another note, I've been reading and learning alot recently from the various authors and notes that I've read. Would like to share here. The first one is from my BSF notes on John 8. John 8:12 "...I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." It talks about how we need to follow Jesus cos He is the one beaming with light and gives life. And I like what the notes writes: "Our Lord makes this promise for those in the condusion of uncertainty or the darkness of insecurity, for those who know not their origin or destination. To have light is also to have life, for human life cannot flourish where there is no light. Although you may live in a place of great darkness, as you personally choose to be with Jesus and move with Him as He works in your situation, you will walk in full confidence, for the darkness around cannot touch the life of the one who walks in His light." The phrase that highlighted to me most is "move with Him". It's more than just having the light, holding on to the light. But it's also moving with it. It's a continuous action. It's obedience to His Will. And it's something that I must do more intentionally and consciously. I gotta get up from where I am and move together with God. To walk in His light, to abide by Him :) That is my prayer! I've also learned a fair bit from the book "A woman God can use". Life lessons from OT women. Read on Eve & Leah. Beautiful women. I learned that the tree of good and evil was there so that Adam & Eve could love God meaningfully. It brought me to think what object/situation in my life is similar to that tree? A temptation, a distraction but yet, it teaches me to love God meaningfully and intentionally. It's a good thought and reflection and I'm glad I got my answer. I am going to love God meaningfully despite it all. From Leah, I learned that God often works in our lives, not by giving us perfect situation, but by showing His power and love in our imperfect situation. This is clearly seen when Leah, with all her longing for a husband's love, was seen by God and given children. Her situation didn't change still but her mindset changed. You can see it from her naming of the children. She changed from what she wants to what she have in God. That is a mindset that we can all adopt too. And through this imperfect situation (without a husband's love), one of her sons was the chose tribe to have King David and thereafter the seed of Abraham--Jesus. Beautiful ending. Thank God for being all so powerful! And indeed, He is incomprehensible! :) --------------------------------- Monday, May 10, 2010 @ 1:10 am [the holidays]
I'm indeed enjoying every ounce and minute and day and moment of it! It really is good! Feels very good! And I thank God for the holidays! =) It really is a good time for myself, to do my own things and do what needs to be done! I have much dreams and aspirations for this hols! But then again, was reading russell's blog and he mentioned balance. I suppose I really have to balance work/activeness and relaxation. I think that's very true. Not that I'm starting to feel bored but that I don't want my mind and body to rot. And I've been noticing something else. Despite the much freedom I have, I feel that I'm wasting my time away. Like I'm finding some form of escape. Escape from reality into games or tv. It's like I'm running away. And I'm definitely not running to God :( Which also brings me to my next point that despite the time I have, I don't seem to pay much attention to Him recently. Nor increasing in that. I still read the Bible but not spending as much quality time there :( I know what I should do and need to do but I just don't seem to set my heart down at it. Oh boy. This is bad uh? I really gotta do something about it! I guess the first thing I should do is to start sleeping early so I can think more clearly! Like now! Nitez world! --------------------------------- Sunday, May 09, 2010 @ 12:30 am [21st birthday party]
Had really great fun at the party! It sure was fun organising and hosting it! Erm, by hosting, I mean inviting my friends, talking to them etc. Can't have this party without my mum's help! She played a big part in this--food, place and gave me her suggestion of many decisions! She helped me in the areas where I can't split myself into 2. Esp at the part when we have to go down to deco the room. Haha. Thanks mum! And thank God for her! :) Her patience and her un-complaning attitude! My emcees were great! Peter and John! They did a really great job! I really asked the right person! And it's really better that I just stand behind and not hosting the whole prog and be entertained by them! I am really glad that they are able to stall time when my computer cock up. Impromptu and really good at the brother-talk! Haha. Thanks alot pals! You guys were great! Thanks! I owe you one! :) The food was good. In many people's opinion. Didn't get to try the dessert though and many dishes too. Haha. But I'm glad everyone said it was good. It was nice to see my cousins again though I didn't get to talk too much with them. Haha. But it sure is nice! :) But last minute, people did back-out. Was quite sad about it :( Oh well. The people who came were my primary sch friends, sec sch, ntu mse clique, ntu crusaders, family and chruch friends! =)) The highlight of the party was the video! I believe, without the video, the party would just be something that would fade off in the memories of others. A beautiful and awesome video made by my clique! I was so touched that they did this! I started crying non-stop from the start to the end. Until Yixian had to offer me a piece of tissue to wipe my tears. Haha. Was more touched than laughing my way off. Haha. But it was still funny! Thank each one of them: Wanting, Jue Xuan, John, Peter, Wee Siang and Qiao Yong for taking time to make the video and come out with the lyrics! Haha. It sure was a nice one! =)) Check it out below! Well, hope that my romeo will come soon! I'm still waiting. Haha. On another note, I was telling my bro that only on 2 birthdays, you'll receive many presents: 1st birthday and 21st birthday (if you organise a party). Haha. And it's really been a long time since I last received soooooo many presents! Each one is unique and beautiful! Really liked them much! =D The birthday cards and wishes are also especially touching to me! I was reading each and every one of them twice over! I am very encouraged when I see the many wishes and hopes and encouragement for me to draw closer to God, walk in His will, wait upon Him and grow closer to Him! I am really touched! And it's just what I needed. Needed that boost to persevere in my life and press on despite circumstances. The going has really been tough recently. And this is an answered prayer from God! =) Thank you God! On another note, I've been doing self-de-brief on my own. Haha. Pointing out what could have been better and what I should improve on. So here goes, for those who are orgainising a party:
Okay. That's all then. Overall, I had a memorable 21st birthday celebration. Sorry to those whom I didn't invite. Didn't have alot of space in my function room! Photos will be loaded soon! Meanwhile, enjoy the video! =)
And another one on my milestones in life by Matthew! --------------------------------- Saturday, May 08, 2010 @ 12:52 am [21st birthday party thank-you poem]
Dear friend, thanks for coming today
--------------------------------- Thursday, May 06, 2010 @ 2:30 am [a mother's day poem]
The most thankful thing my mum has done Is the simplest thing of all The tugging of my ankle at morning's dawn Even though the order is tall (aka tall order) Ensuring that I wake up in time Before I am late for appointments She never fails to pull me up Despite my temperament So here and now, I wanna thank her For greeting me each day And her patience towards me always Happy Mother's day! --------------------------------- |