Pictures with my verse of the year
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What I want to keep in mind for the weeks to come

Wednesday, September 29, 2010 @ 2:42 am


[missing you]

I really miss singapore. and more importantly, the friends and concern that have been shown to me over there. i miss my family too. now, I realised why people say that friends and family matter the most. it’s true. anywhere you go, if you have no friends; no true, genuine friends, life is going to be miserable. i’m not utterly miserable. i still can go by. but i see a stark difference.

back in singapore, the people around me really care for me. they care for my welfare, ask how am i doing, follow-up with me on certain things and really, truly, express their care towards. i feel very blessed.

but here, through the past 2 months plus, i really don’t feel it. i don’t see it. i can’t feel anything at all. hardly anyone follow-up with me. the people i meet are just hi-byes. we can stay in the same house, but we can don’t talk much. and most of the time, i’m the one doing the asking. and the listening. even when i do speak and talk things out on my own initiative, i’ll either get a solution-fix response or a blank-no response. it’s sad. i want neither. i just want a listening ear. and when i’m ready to hear an advice, then i’m ready to hear your solution-fix response.

:( I was talking to john and wanting and khalis on the phone recently. and boy! how much i miss them! each phone call to them is ever so encouraging. especially talking to john. it’s one of the best conversations that i’ve had with him. in almost every sentence, he put God first. and his most encouraging statement was how he is praying for me and his specific prayer for me.

it literally moved me to tears when i heard on the phone. Wan Ting, needless to say. my best buddy, my girl friend, my sister. what more can i ask for? and khalis. also a needless to say one. i just spoke to him last night. and when i was telling him about my sister and was tearing a bit on the phone, he went totally silent and asked me to go get a tissue. i was totally surprised he could hear me crying on the phone. well, it’s true it’s not his first time hearing me cry on the phone but i’m surprised that after so long, he still remembers how i would sound like sniffing on the phone!

sigh. i wish. i wish. i wish my friends around me will really be my friend. people who care for me. i don’t want superfacial friends.

indeed, God knows my limits and my needs. He will provide. right, Father? You will provide, right? Please provide for me once again. Please provide the comfort and the care and the love that I need.

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Saturday, September 25, 2010 @ 10:54 pm


[trips]

First to Wuhan for 1 night. Next to Shanghai for 1 night. Finally to Anji for 1 night. This is how I have been spending my past 4-day 3-night Mid-Autumn Festival.

It sure is fun. To be in Wuhan with Sarah and to meet her again. To talk to her and to be with her. To feel her touch, her presence and her company. But departure is the toughest. It was so tough that it was beyond what I can bear. See you soon girl. And thanks for your company through that 2 day 1 night trip.

Shanghai was fine. Just spent 1 night there and go and wash my clothes.

Anji was good. I enjoyed the stay initially. Only until towards the end (today) that things didn't turn out well. But glad to have the 2 guys company (Owen and Jonathan) and their protection! Beautiful pictures and scene!

That are the trips so far. Next up, Tibet! Coming Thursday night.

However, nothing can beat a trip to a church service just now at Hengshan church. Was truly blessed by the worship team, the speaker and the message and most importantly, the presence of God! Thank God for speaking to me through this time. It's been very long since I went to church. And I am indeed dry. Lord forbid it that I should stray from You. Draw me back to you again. To involve you in my daily thoughts.

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Monday, September 13, 2010 @ 9:32 pm


[God's Word]

How beautiful it is to read God's Word again! As I read and do my QT today, I was so thirsty for it! I was hungry to read it. And the words, though I've read them several times (cos of the markings I have previously made), they stood out and shine amazingly bright to me.

Lamentations 3:19-23
I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

That God's love is the reason we hope. That God's faithfulness is the reason we hope. That in the midst of our showers of tears, God's sunshine will create a rainbow in our lives. That though we may have broken and strained relationships around us, God will never leave us nor forsake us. Because of His love. This is the reason I hope. This is the reason we hope.

It reminds me so much of Ps 13 too. A Psalm that brought me through my hard break-up. Hope brought me through that break-up too. And now, it will bring me through whatever that comes, be it a heart-break or uncertainty of the future.

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