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Tuesday, November 23, 2010 @ 11:20 pm [Love]
Just finished watching Joseph King of Dreams. Yeah. I know it's kinda funny how I watched it over 3 days but yes, I took 3 days to watch 8 parts of it. And I teared towards the end. Strange how a cartoon can make me cry but it has certainly touched my heart. I love the part where Joseph forgives his family. The cartoon potrays it well. Well, not that the Bible doesn't show it well, but it doesn't have the details that the director puts in. Reminds me so much of love. Of God's love. Of love that we are expected to show each other. Lord, teach me to love. Teach me how to love. Teach me what is love. Teach me about you, the God of Love. [You know better than I] The song that was played at the end touches my heart. That God's plan will prevail in the end. That I just need to wait on God's timing. Joseph's plight was certainly much worse than mine--betrayed by his brothers, separated from his family, sold, worked as a slave, suffered in jail, waited for the butler to respond, interpret Pharoah's dreams, governed the country...but he trusted God still. And God has a wonderful plan that is unfolding for Him. If He can do it for Joseph, He can do it for me too! Lord, help me to trust in you and to follow your voice and your leading. Not to insist on my way or to do things that you don't want me to do.
I thought I did what's right
--------------------------------- Monday, November 22, 2010 @ 11:17 pm [Joseph King of Dreams]
Stuck on the show for the past 2 nights! Ahh. After watching the music video below. Then got me a bit confused between that and Prince of Egypt. Ha. Suddenly lost my chronological order! Haha. Bible stories...so long ago and I really lost touch of them! Better get in touch again! :) But I must say that through the show I learned much! :) Once again. [update] I had a horrible night last night. Cldn't slp till 2am! And had to wake up at 6am today! BLEAH! Totally don't like this and totally don't like the lifestyle I'm forced to take up right now! 5 more weeks! Just 5 more weeks! Essays due this Sat! Thank God I managed to take a off on thus successfully. Without CK asking me why. So I can do up the essays on both thus and fri! And to prep for cell too! And to escape from the demanding lifestyle of me! Anyway, wanna write this to my sister: today, as I was choosing the earrings to wear, I purposely chose the one you made for me. Everytime I wear it, it makes me feel that you are near me and that I have your support. It always brings me comfort. Especially when I'm not feeling good and am emo. Thanks Sarah. It makes a lot of difference--the making of the earring and for being you. I love you! Lord, please help me to sleep tonight. --------------------------------- Friday, November 19, 2010 @ 2:51 am [smiles]
6th Jan! I can't wait! My heart was jumping in leaps and bounds since this morning! :) yeah! I am coming back! --------------------------------- Sunday, November 14, 2010 @ 9:37 pm [miss home]
I suddenly miss home. Just feel like going home, to somewhere where there's warmth and a homely feeling. To a familiar place and a familiar environment :( Oh well. The weather is getting cold now. Gotta keep warm! And I think that I really have to give up. It's really time and I really should. After hearing things, seeing things for myself and thinking more about the future. I have to really trust that God will provide. Afterall it's His calendar that prevails. Trust
Be the one that He wants you to be. Then things will fall into place. --------------------------------- Saturday, November 13, 2010 @ 10:26 pm [faith]
I'm glad I took that leap of faith. Even before I'm on it, I'm starting to get excited about it. Initially I was fearful. I was literally trembling. I was scared. There were many reasons. But there was a push. And today, as I think about it, I'm glad I took that leap. I have no regrets. I will leave Shanghai with no regrets. And I hope I will have war-stories to tell! Just like what Eleena encouraged me! :)) Yays! --------------------------------- Tuesday, November 09, 2010 @ 4:56 pm [too close]
Sometimes, it is scary when you are too close to someone. You tend to show your angry side more often, be less bearing and accomodating, and less careful with your words. There seem to be a lack of joy, excitement and sparkle to really talk and get to know him/her more. There is friction and tension. And bearing with the awkwardness and guilt that haunts you after you've said and done something not pleasant. Sigh. Human relations are really tough. Especially with people whom you are close to (minus the family cos a family will always be a family. faults are easily forgiven; at least in my case). I wonder how it'll be like in the future. With friends whom I'm close to but haven't gone to the disagreement and quarrel stage. Wanting, John, Peter, Bethia and the others in my clique. Also my future partner. Disagreements will make or break the friendship. And I am very afraid it'll break the friendship. That's the last thing I want. The last thing on my mind. But it is that scary. I'm seeing and witnessing it now, right before my eyes. And I'm afraid of what the consequences will bring. I believe that's why God gives us words of wisdom to guide our lives. It's hard to live out His way but it is THE way. Ephesians 4:2-3
Ephesians 4:25-27
Ephesians 4:29
Ephesians 4:32
--------------------------------- Monday, November 08, 2010 @ 9:40 pm [tears]
A tear-streaked face
For the first time, I cried in the office. But I just have to bear it. I guess it's the illness, lack of sleep, thinking too much and hoping too much. I've learned to let go. I've learned not to hope too high. I've learned to control and keep silent lest I create more problems. And now, I've learned to bear. I always think it's okay to cry. It's better to cry than to bottle it up inside which can lead to more sickness. So then, I just hide in the toilet and cry things out. Oh! How I wish I took leave today and rest instead. How I wish I was appreciated more. How I wish I can feel care and concern again. I miss my family and my house. --------------------------------- Sunday, November 07, 2010 @ 11:44 pm Romans 5:19
For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous. --------------------------------- @ 11:29 pm [in death, there can be life]
Thank God that He spoke through Ruth on Friday. Ruth from the Bible. Out of the many aspects to talk about, the writer wrote about how Ruth faced death of her husband but eventually found new life in the new land and in the genealogy of Jesus. It's an awesome thing to be part of the genealogy. So the authoress writes: new life can come from the tragedy of death So in the "death" that I just experienced, I should hope. Have that hope that I can have renewed life in God because He is the giver of life, the giver of new life. This spoke right to my heart because I was starting to give up hope that I could be changed or that things would change. I tried and I failed. And so, I start to despair. But God never gave up on me. Thank you God :) --------------------------------- Friday, November 05, 2010 @ 11:36 am [sick]
I fell sick :( Woke up with such swollen lips too cos I lack water. Haven't been sleeping early for the past weeks so got a sore throat. Plus now, getting blocked nose. Doesn't help that weather is cold :( Oh well. At least I survived last night. What a struggle! But it was good. Glad things turned out fine eventually. Alright. I hope I survive this week and get well soon! Btw, the end-of-year plans are firmed up. To Chengdu on 27Dec for 5 days. Leaving Chengdu on 1 Jan to Lijiang straight. Then, hopefully, I'll get to see Shangri-La before I head back to Singapore! I'll be home soon. Really soon. Yesterday as I was walking and just thinking about my friends, I recall the farewell song that my clique did for me at the airport. I do so miss them! And I'll be home soon, friends. I hope you'll welcome me just as I embrace and look forward to meeting you and catching up with you. Love you all lots! --------------------------------- @ 2:06 am [sad]
I dropped my Bible. All the paperes spilled out. I picked them up one-by-one. Bulletins, pamplets...and suddenly I chance upon a postcard. Then a photogaph. And a note. I picked them up to have a closer look. I began to read them. First from Kah Hwee, then from Evelyn and Eleen. Finally from Aunty Lilian. Each one an encouragement. Each one a word of thanks. Each one a word of blessing. They appreciated my enthusiasm, my giving, my service, my heart for God, my talent/gift, my leadership. They encouraged me to grow, to trust, to put my faith in God, to learn. They blessed me with God's Word, with wishes, with foresight that God will use me when I trust Him, with the people around me being blessed by God through me. They command me to listen, to thrust myself upon God, to obey, to draw close to His heart, to remember what I've learned. As I read, my heart breaks. The Sharon then and the Sharon now is like 2 different people. I feel so unworthy. I feel so unclean. I feel so guilty. I feel so distant. I am totally underserving of the rememberance, the blessings, the privilege, the honour, the appreciation, the encouragement, the faithfulness from God. Where am I now? What am I doing? What's occupying my mind? Where's my faith-trust level? Who's sitting on the throne of my heart? Where is God in your life, Sharon? I literally had to flip to previous entries to see what I've learned through the church camp and the mission trip. Things that happened just 5 months ago, events that were memorable, commitments and convictions that were made. I've forgotten them all. Clean. Why did this happen? :( --------------------------------- |