Today, after doin my quiet time, i lay on the sofa n began thinkin: how can i care for a guy widout leading him on? how do i show genuine n brotherly care? a friendship kind of care widout, lyk wad i say, leading him on? how to have tat kinda frenship lyk i had wid yi xian. it was so pure. we were close frens n we had never entered the arena of dating. never toked abt us being together. it was nice to have him as my good fren. it's even more comforting to know tat i can open up to him widout a fear tat i'll be givin him the wrong impression. but how to have this kinda frenship in this new JC? it took 1 year plus to build up the frenship wid yi xian to tat level. can i do the same here? in this new JC where i meet new frens esp the guys? how can i be frens wid them? jus frens. n love n care for them lyk a brother; a brother-in-christ? oh Lord, pls tell me. frens, pls advice me. i really have no idea.

sumtimes, i wonder if i'd given too much hope to xxx or if i'm already on the path to leadin xxx on. i'm really afraid. i dun wanna lose a fren n i dun wanna break another heart. i wanna stop it but...i dunno how. is there sumthing wrong wid my actions? the way i speak? the way i conduct myself? am i giving the person too much attention? but, dun u have to give the person yr attention if u wanna build strong frenship? so then, how do i control it? is it controllable?

i dunno Lord, i'm really afraid. afraid of wad will happen. please Lord, guide me in every step i go. warn me when i start to stray. may I always bind yr Word to my heart Lord, so i'll do yr good n pleasin will. help me to control the way i tok to guys n i pray Father, tat they'll see my motive clearly, tat it's only for me to build frenship. n wid christian guys: to care for them lyk u would want me to, lyk a brother, encourage n help each other......

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Today, was surprised to know Wei Qin n I are in the same class! so i'm not so lonely. i'm pretty surprised! n I'm glad i got the combi i wanted: Physics, Chem, Maths n Geog. I'm thankful to God tat my class is quite chatty esp the gals so i can communicate well wid them. I'm glad tat the class is rather cheerful. Civics Tutor wanted to play ice breaker games or sumthing. but she din think of a game den she gave us a choice of playin the game or chit-chattin. we chose the latter option n we did spend the remainin time toking wid each other n finding out more abt each other. not a bad head-start. i hope to make close frens wid them! n not many of them have chinese names, so it makes it easier for me to rmb. am trying to recall the names. the english names ain't common either but nevertheless, i hope i can rmb all their names asap.

I volunteered to the maths rep today. boostful? i hope ppl dun see me lyk tat. it's jus tat i've always been the maths rep since pri sch? i think. n i had told myself early this yr tat i'll volunteer myself to be the rep. i wanna keep the trend goin n i enjoy being the rep. i enjoy collectin worksheets for everyone. at least i have to hold sum responsibility. as i'd said in my prev post (long time ago), i look upon responsibilities as a challenge n a way for me to grow n push myself. i enjoy it cos in the end, it teaches me sumthing. sumthing good will come out of it. i may get scolded if i neglect them, accidentally or not, but still, it's through chaste n rebuke tat one learns their lessons. harsh way to learn indeed but sum ppl, incl me, may jus have to learn it tat way. so no fear! jus do yr best. if i ever get scolded, den i'd better bear them in mind. also, being the maths rep, i hope to communicate more wid the maths lecturer n the maths tutor =)

Wanted to go see my new-born niece. sadly, i din see her. but never mind. i think i can see her during the CNY time. i can't wait. she's my 1st niece! haha. welcome to the world baby! I'm sure goin to dote u alot! =)