HELLO JULY!! Let's see who's bday this month: Yoke Hwee (today! happy bday!), reuben (!! my dear boy), Yam Wenn (yes!) and Shu Hui (yes!), Ken, Ho Yun..i think tat's abt all. sorry if i miss out any other ppl. jus tag me n tell me yea? hmm. wanna start this month rite but apparently din do so. was so super stress ytday nite which is brought forward to today. actually felt better this morning but then, reality jus dawns on me n i feel everythig.

dunno why but today was approached by 2 ministry leaders of my church la. one wants me to lead in prayer tml but i decline. i'm not even in the "right" mind to do so la. me being so moody, stress up n upset n piss...i jus can't do it. so sad to decline if not, i would gladly do so. it's jus a prayer wid all my heartfelt words. sigh. another wants me to mend the book stall. i know it's a bit impossible to decline so jus take it up lor. hope i'll serve wid a good heart n able to find ppl. really hope i can get ppl. sigh. another thing tat adds to my stress.....

grr. so super stress over GP. din prepare much. keep fallin aslp while reading notes. n never prac much. no one to check my work anyway. no one pro in GP to help me. den i dunno if the introduction/conclusion i form is correct or not. the body i can handle but jus dun lyk the intro part. i dun wanna get stuck immediately after i get all my points out. sometimes, i jus dunno wad's the first word/phrase. stupid. i'm jus stupid.

plus got chem. den have to do some more prac esp the chem paper frm past years. grr. i wanna complete them! n then, the paper itself is 2hrs wid 20 MCQs n 5 structured qns! hope i can finish the paper n get an A!!! i need tat A! i wanna do H3 chem. i think it'll be super fun n super interesting! learn abt the many things...unseen rite now. it's jus interesting to see n learn more abt a particular thing. yes. man. now i really want it.

den maths. i want tat H3 maths too. been eyeing at it since i was young. prob in sec sch. can say is influence by mum. n can say tat i want to be challenged. but then, muz learn to handle these challenges. last nite did Mathematical Induction n got soooooo stuck la! grr. hate it. hate getting stuck. did it till 1 plus am last nite for 2 hours la. i wanna solve the qns. jus dunno how to derive. argh! it's not tat i can't apply concept, it's jus tat can't solve. can't get the final answer. stupid. but actually, looking at the JC1 cohort, the scholars really frighten me. i think they'll take up all/at least most of the places for the H3s la. they're lyk so hardworking n smart. deny us a chance of taking H3. hmph. i dun lyk it. sorry if i offend any scholars reading this...it's jus my feelings