heart's feeling restless now. well, i stayed home the whole day today. watched korean drama, studied the driving theory a bit, got some tips on how to write personal statements and catch up with charles. esp his own independent japan trip! it was nice to see his photos on the facebook that he jus signed up for! :)

thanks for sharing with me, charles! it was nice! and more interesting to know you went there alone. a challenge i'll gladly take even though i am a gal. since my bangkok trip with eleena, kah hwee and le jing, i've always felt that i can go anywhere i want myself, alone, and really dun mind any communication breakdown. but of cos, i mean places lyk asian countries only. europe and the other side of the whole, australia n NZ, i prefer to go as a grp..see things together, have fun together....

well, jus played RISK with my bro. it was fun. haven't played it for a long time. and seeing him so bored, i really xin teng. so decided to play any games with him. but i lost horribly. i really dun lyk to lose. haha. a spoilsport, i know. but there's always this aching feeling in me whenever i lose in any game to anyone. haha. but i dun cry la. jus feel sad. ha. but nevertheless, a good game and time spent with him and sarah who often pops by to either roll the dice for us or tok crap with us. haha.

now feeling emotional. i dunno why. guess it's cos of the korean drama episodes that i watched today. it feels sad. the guy is really hurt cos the gal whom he lyks doesn't requite the love. and suddenly, another guy lyks this same gal but jus doesn't wanna express the love for her. but if he really did so, it'll be a mutual feeling. sigh. i guess the music played in the background of it keeps replaying in mind. a slow sad music. so perhaps that's why i'm sad. or perhaps, it's the realisation that my love/crush (so it seems) to someone may not be requited either. been thinkin abt it the past few days. and observing. jus tot that perhaps he really doesn't hv me in his heart. sigh. then i guess i'd better give up lest i get hurt when he really gets a gf..sigh. better to keep the frenship than lose it totally cos of my impatience or assumptions or fantasy..

was flippin thru my prev entries in my journal jus now. saw that i wrote down wad khalis told me in oct 07 "do the right thing at the right time in the right place for the right reason". so true. using tt as my guide, i began questionin myself. perhaps it really isn't the right thing, the right time and the right reason. and one more thing: dun lower my standard of a v impt thing i'm lookin out in guys. yar. as much as it hurts, i guess it has to be this way...

anyway, that aside, i had this funny yet sweet dream last night. i called it "can i wrap my little fingers around yours?" haha. abt me who jus found a bf n held hands with him, both of us feelin v blessed. the funny thing is that in the dream, i'd Guy A's face but called him by Guy B's name. ha. very funny and weird. oh well. nevertheless, it's a warm dream..

oh yar. was flippin to the front of my journal and realised i haven't gotten a verse to bring me thru this entire year! i wrote down 2006 and 2007. so it's time for 2008! man. tis shows how little i'd been payin attention to Him! i felt quite ashamed and bad. one week plus had past and i haven't even pray abt it. it's no wonder i felt quite aimless the past week. so flipped and saw a verse. let's see wad God will reveal to me for me to carry thru this year. last year's "Immanuel--God with us", 2006's "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..." and 2005's "be strong and courageous. do not be terrified; do not be discouraged..." had indeed helped me alot tho sometimes i lose sight of them in the year. nonetheless, i still rmb n treasure them. i wonder wad this year's wld be. i have a rough idea. jus nid a verse...sorry, Lord!