now i finally understand how you feel. the pain. the hurt. it really cuts through. when i'm alone in my room, facing the 4 walls is really something painful. activities arnd me are but jus events tat fill the void and take my mind off this issue for a while. now i finally understand...

i know nothing that i say and do now can ease your hurt and anguish you are feeling now...i dun blame you if you are blaming me. cos right now, i'm jus shaking my head in despair and sorrow. i'm sorry.

i dunno where to go, what to do or what to think. i know the most obvious answer is to turn to God. but prayers these days jus seems like reports. i must do something about my prayer life.

i dun like myself. for the things done without consideration. why can't i live up to my name? why can't i be more disciplined? why can't i be more considerate to others? now, another problem faces me. i feel so pressed on all sides. may i be pressed till i go onto my knees in prayers at Your feet, God.

well, i did feel touch when weiling mentioned on her blog abt how probs are not really probs but challenges. challenges to mould me to be like Jesus...

i jus pray that God will lead me (and him) through this period of time...