[Reflections]

What are the things that keeps me from having a closer relationship with God?

1. Fun mindset
2. Worries of life
3. Over dependent on plans

These are the things that are affecting me most now. I realised that since uni started and since I've stayed in hall (esp after the latter), I keep wanting to play and not study. It's like every night I just want to spend time with my friends that I've just made. For the first time, I can talk to ppl easily without spending much money. I just need to rmb where they stay and go up to room and *knock knock, am I disturbing you? Can I come in?* Plus suppers, I jus don't feel like studying at night. Don't have the motivation.

Thank God He forsees this and gave me a WONDERFUL roomie who is diligent and hardworking! She studies and works hard and takes her work seriously. Because she is studying, I tend to study too (if I happen to be in the room at tat time). And I'll try not to disturb her by talking to her either. I'll just turn my back and face my table and start reading my notes. Yeah. She's a great roomie! And rmb her name is Cher Lin! =)

Well, but most of the time our time doesn't clash. It's either I reaches room late and she's abt to slp or she isn't in the room when I'm in cos she went home. And when she's not in, ah-ha. the fun begins. haha. Like last night. It was thurs nite, i have a fri morning lab at 830am and know what I did? Went over to Junwei's room and talk to him and his roomie, zul, and played games till 130am!

well, firstly, i was partly scared to be alone in my room. it's really scary. while sending me back to hall frm BSF, dad mentioned abt the 7th mth. it got me freak out. and well, i wanted to talk to junwei and zul too. so pop by their room. and i had to use the com for a while! a pity i din get to listen to class 95. well, the best of all is that i get to teach junwei boggle! and had a few rounds with him and zul. jw is improving well and fast! he can even formed words that i can't see! hopefully, it wld spur him on to take part in the inter-block games (IBG)! yeah, it was nice knowing him better and having more chances to talk to him! (:

why I play until so late? I really don't know. I jus din feel like sleeping. and so by the time i slp, it was 2am. and i couldn't sleep immediately. i was scared again. it din help that the blinds make sound due to the wind too. i had to sing christian songs to make myself go to slp and remind myself that God is with me. well, it does make a difference when I mention the word "Jesus" or "God". But singing songs and reminding myself are only temporary. I jus wanna pray and hope that the mindset will be erased totally. That I would rest in full assurance that I am safe in God's hands...amen!

well, BSF helped me again too. reminding me thru last last week's lecture to have faith and depend on God to move my mountains of difficulty instead of doing it my own way. Although, on the surface, it seems like things are going find and fun, i do face difficulties. Difficulties so big that it really makes me worried. Friendships is one of them. Discipline in my spiritual life, QT and studies is another one. And I pray that I will really depend on God not on myself! God has spoken to me, it's time I take actions!

[recounts]

well, today's lab i wasn't sleepy. that's because I had to do a 2-point perspective drawing! It's super TEDIOUS! and hard! all the construction lines! do until my back and shoulder ache! it's so much like D&T which I'm not good at since sec 1! I'm glad ye sheng and keith was there to help me. i was super stress and pressurized when i can't finish it on time! grr. Below are 3 pics to show my progress. basically, they gave a picture of a radio tilted at one corner. then, we had to draw it on paper in a 3D way. and the parallel lines muz converge at one point. one of the angles try to be at least 110degrees. grr. it's so tedious and precise. totally don't like it. bleah! there will be one more on it i guess. for shading and shadow. hopefully the nxt one will be easier! Oh! the assignment and drawing i drew today was graded too. hmph. oh! watch the faint construction lines in the pics below!

I played netball for the 2nd time in my life this week. it was pretty nice playing a ball game after so long. best of all, i get to know my block mates better! ppl like mei rong, wan xing, elizabeth (she's a christian! yay!) and my OG mates. and pei fen was really great! She companied me thru-out the game even though she's sick and she din play. ha. after that, we also squeezed into shaun's car back to hall. 7 girls behind! woah! ha. jus sitting on top of each other's laps. thanks pei fen alot! =) really enjoyed yr company and presence! i hope u'll get well soon too!

after that i went for the JCRC briefing mtg. had a clearer idea what each post is abt and i decided to drop the idea of running for a post there. i'll just join 2-3 sub-coms and be involved there. with my experiences in running events, i hope to help and support my leader instead of leading. it's time i learn to follow too. mm. all the best to eugene and audrey!

okay. it seems like i'm recounting everyday but let me jus blah out whatever i have inside of me. wed really drains me cos i taught from 230-9pm. i totally dun like the arrangement. i'm so NOT going to teach the day before PSLE. i don't like it. rushing here and there. kiasu moms too. hmph.

i can't wait for my laptop to come. hopefully nxt week! i'm dying without music. tat's partly why i fell aslp tis afternoon while studying in my room. bleah.

i met eleena for lunch. had a good chat on tue. went to watch Meet Dave with my hall mates on union day. skipped the elections thing. had lunch together. the movie was not bad. quite interesting storyline. frens were nice. though i do wish pei fen was there. haha. but it was still not too bad after all. after that, i was disciplined! and went to JW lib to study!

going to jurong west lib to study (alone) brought back many memories. it brings back the time when yi xian was giving me directions to go the lib, the time when ken and i studied there (it was his 1st year in uni), the time when i randomly made frens with mandhir (i wonder where he is now) and many more studying times i had there b4 A's. I miss the lib. i miss the place. it was indeed good to go back there. and thank God the studying time was effective. i completed and understood my maths lecture and tutorial =) thank you God!

okay. tat's all i gotta say here. i'd better go and print my notes b4 i get chased off the com again! hope i can catch up with my Sound lectures!