Hmm. I wonder why these few days I've been thinking alot. I look at things around me, hear what is happening to me and my frens and watch wat other ppl are doing and i start to think. i start to look at the issues in the big picture and think. question myself and find answers myself and discuss my thoughts with ppl that i can rely on.

hmm. I wonder what has gotten into me and make me so....philosophical? Sigh. I wish I can share my thoughts and reflections here but it's an online journal--a blog after all. So gotta be watchful and mindful of what i say. My frens are reading. So can't say much. I cld only say that i thought about things like relationships. relationships with friends and with partners. and i was also wondering about this:

Time

I wonder whether time has been used too much as an excuse than a reason. Ever heard of how people always say "Give him time", "He needs some time", "He needs time to be alone", "don't push. he just needs time", "guess he's not ready yet", "wait for the perfect timing"...*the usage of he is for general purpose*. So then, i wonder, is time really the reason or are we just saying it to mask up a deeper, more impt underlying issue? Perhaps there are hinderances, there are other obstacles, other issues that is actually the one causing the wait. and perhaps, the "wait" and "time" factor is really just to cast the issue one side to avoid thinking about it.

But still, I believe sometimes the word "wait" and "time" do have it's meaning and serves it's purpose. Perhaps, it is really the reason. Time allows us to train our patience. Gives us calmness so we'll have better minds to think and decide. Time allows us to step outta the circle to see the picture big and square (or round). Time gives us space. Time gives us a moment to breathe. Time is trust in God--hoping in His Character, claiming His promises, smiling amid the storm and knowing that He's in control.

So to Time, this is what I have to say: If you are ever just a mask or an excuse, may you be kind and reveal yourself to me. Let me know that I'm wrong, I'm looking in the wrong place and not taking responsibility. May you push and convince me that there is something deeper; there is a deeper issue that I need to solve. If you are the reason I should give, may I never doubt you. May I then put my trust in you and in God that time will prove just how great our Creator is. May I trust that as you grow old, things will be better and things will turn out for the good. And to your (and my) Creator, I pray that I'll love Him more and more to trust Him in His perfect and good timing. Amen.

There. Concluded. Another reflection i have? I just have this inclination to write essays. To write narrative. To imagine myself being someone or something and start writing my feelings, thoughts and actions. Somehow, the essay that I wrote as I impersonate myself as the basket used by Moses just keeps getting stuck in my head. I jus feel a very strong urge to write again. To inspire and to encourage through my stories...

On another note, I wanna thank God for helping me through my counselling course. I think I've mentioned it in my prev entry. But the best is that how He used me and the skills I'm equipped with. He had indeed amazed me and done a miracle in my life by a simple yet conscious act. Thank God that He's given me such a chance and opportunity (: