I always keep the cards and notes that people give to me. Paste them all in a scrapbook and read them from time to time. It's now my 2nd book already. And it always brings me so much smiles to see, read and feel the love that people around me give to me.

I was just adding one more card to the book and so decided to see the recent few cards. I realised that they were cards written to me before I left for Shanghai. Words that encourage me to trust in God, to rely on His faithfulness, and encouraging me that I would be a blessing in Shanghai and to be a blessing to others. And how the butterflies in my stomach (which were literally there on the day I flew) would transform into beautiful experiences (quoted exactly from one of the cards).

One of the points that keep resounding through all these cards is to ask me to trust in God, lean on Him and follow His ways. I really start to think: if I had really follow His ways and trust in God, I wouldn't be in such an emotional tangle. I guess. While I am trying to untangle myself now, which is making good progress, I still feel that a part of it remains. It still does. And I don't really know how to face it anymore. I did my part. I'll just see what other effort is there for me to put in and what God would do.

Sigh. If only I had read these cards over and over again, keeping them in mind, and focusing on God throughout the time in Shanghai, perhaps, spiritually, I won't be so down and I would be much stronger. And perhaps, I won't step out of the line God lays down personally for me.

Oh well. These are just looking-backs. I guess it's time to move forward. With these love and encouragement, I pray I can pick myself up. For my brother and sister, I pray I can pick myself up. For God, I pray I can pick myself up.